THANK YOU LUCKY PUPPY FOR TELLING ME TO PUT A DISCLAIMER

THIS IS MY DISCLAIMER, I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS! I AM NOT STEALING ANYTHING!

And the sign says "the words of the profit are written on the subway wall."

If you have ever lost two years of your life and then come back to find that your whole life has been torn open and then sewn back together by one of those little kids who poked themselves so many times there is more blood on the sewing than there is thread, then you know how I feel. Unfortunately not many people have gone through that so I'm left all by myself. You know it's funny, if you had asked me two years ago if I would want to kill myself if what happened to me actually happened, I would answer no because Vaughn would be there for me. WRONG. Wrong again Syd. He moved on real quick that one. You were so naïve. Come on, like he would really put up with waiting around. You aren't THAT important. Funny how I used to think I actually was.

For all my early years, all the years in which I was a child, I felt the same way I feel now. Alone, scared, hopeless, ready to cry but aware that crying would do nothing. It's as if I'm stuck in this little box where all these people are making choices for me and all I want is for it to stop. Yet, I don't know how to make it stop and that makes me want to scream and thrash about. I have all this energy in my arms and my fists squeeze together but nothing I do will make the anger push itself out. I want to start punching someone, hard, over and over again until there is nothing left in my body. Probably not a good move, seeing as I'm sitting in the CIA and my desk is right out in the open. Right next to Laurens' desk, right near Vaughns' desk. Right there out in the open, where everyone can see me, right there in the open. Kill me now. Actually, scratch that first, open up my stomach, tear out my intestines, then step on them. Maybe that will take my mind off of seeing Lauren all over Vaughn. That whore, she's practically throwing herself at him. Oh right, they're married, she's allowed to do that. Bitch.

Ok, Agent Bristow, you are better than this, you can just get up and go to the debriefing without crying. Ya right. More like, Agent Bristow, get out that over used mask and pretend everything is alright so that your father and your co-workers won't suspect a thing. Don't forget to smile and act as if you have been getting enough sleep at night. So that's what I do. Hear about the next mission in which I have to go and retreave something or other with some weapon or something. I kind of zoned out after they told me that it was going to be Vaughn and me. Alone. On a mission. Alone. To a party. ALONE. That's ok. I'll just go to Marshall, get him to give me everything I need and then to explain to me exactly what I'm doing. Then Vaughn and I will board a plane to France, stay at a hotel together, share a room, go to a party, sneak into a room, steal a file, and then go back to the hotel to grab our stuff and get on a plane to L.A. Easy as pie. Pie's not that easy, I've tried, I burned it.

Breath Sydney. Just breath. Don't think about the fact that you are going to have to pretend to be his wife. Don't think about having to stop yourself from sleeping when he's around because then he'll know that you have nightmares. Don't think about the fact that he can't be around when you get out of the shower because then he'll see that your skin is raw from scraping at it to try to get all the dirt away from the last two years. Don't think about the fact that you will have to go to a party and wear one of the skimpiest outfits every. Just think about getting a manuscript that might help you decipher the Rimbahldi prophecy.

"Sydney, we might want to go over how we are going to act in public."

"What, oh ya uh sorry. Um what do you mean?" Oh god why is he talking to me?

" Well just that if we have to act married we are going to need to figure out pet names or something."

"You know more about that than I do." That's right, look uncomfortable.

"Ya. Dixon said that there will be no cameras in the hotel room but everywhere else is fair game. So remember that whenever we are in public, we are newlyweds and are madly in love." Like I could ever for get that. Instead I just nod and go back to looking out the window. I know he has gone back to his spot at the back of the plane and I'm thankful. I just need to get through the next couple of days. Just get through it. Please just, god, get through it.

Narrators' POV.

Each with a suitcase in hand Sidney and Vaughn walked into the hotel. They had already been given their key and the immediately went upstairs, to their room. Inside they found one bed, one closet, one bathroom, and one tv. One of each thing so they could share, because they were married and married couples shared. Sydney soon excused herself from his presence, the room choking her, and slipped into the bathroom. Leaning over the sink she tried to suck in enough air and to stop her head from spinning. Her side was throbbing from where she had found a scar. She couldn't remember how she had gotten it and she knew she should have told someone when it started burning, but she just never got around to it. Lifting her shirt she saw how read it was and gently poured some cold water on it trying to soothe the burn. It helped a little. She sucked in a deep breath and went back out into the room. Vaughn was putting away his things, hanging his suit up to the side, leaving room for her things. She moved to her suitcase and he watched her with a held back demeanor.

Noticing her wet shirt he looked at her questioningly.

"What's wrong with your stomach?" She put her hand over her stomach self consciously.

"Nothing. I just was, you know, hot." Vaughn looked at her but left it alone, seeing that she would say no more. She soon had everything put away and she sat down in front of the window.

"Sydney. We should probably sleep some before we go to the party, it might turn out to be a long night." She nodded and turned towards the bed, staring at it awkwardly. He made the first move and picked the left side. She slowly slipped under the covers and curled up, her back to Vaughn. Her whole body was tense and she dared not move, hoping Vaughn would fall asleep soon. She was not disappointed and he was soon deeply asleep. She gingerly came out of the blankets and tried to tip toe to the door.

"Syd?" She froze and turned to look at him. "You need to sleep, you look exhausted" She just stood there, not sure of what to do. She slowly moved back to the bed, not having another choice. Once in the bed she tried to keep still until he fell asleep but he knew what she was doing and he waited. Wanting to make sure she slept. She tried her hardest but could not stay awake and so she unwantingly fell into a fretful dream.

Vaughn got onto his elbows and moved closer to Sydney. She cried out in what sounded like fear. He moved towards her and pulled her towards him. At first she fought against him but he soon overpowered her. He tried to be gentle without getting hit and soon had her relaxing against him. She had collapsed against him and was now merely whimpering.

"Shhhh. Syd, you're ok, you're ok. Shhhhh."

Sydney did not wake but stopped whimpering and her breathing evened out. Vaughn gently lay her back down and resumed his position on the edge of the bed.

VAUGHN POV

Why is she having a nightmare? Has she been having them for a long time? What are they about? This was going to be along mission.

PLEASE GIVE ME SOME FEEDBACK!!!