The Blue Massacre
by Screwy K


I drove up to Blue's house today.
I hit Mailbox with my car. Whoops.
I whistled as I dropped Mrs. Pepper.
It's good to be mean.
I spray-painted bad words on the wall.
Steve was singing.
"Shut up Dickhead!" I shouted.
It's good to be mean. Really.
I lit fire to the thinking chair.
Then I dropped Mr. Salt.
The fan blew the salt away.
I chased it, snorting.
I looked around, confused.
"Where's Blue?" I thought.
The realization hit me like I hit Mailbox.
"I found a goddamn clue!"
I axed Shovel and Pail.
I was smiling.
I smoked the felt people.
I still like being mean.
I pulled out my hammer.
Tickety-Tock is now dead.
"A clue!" I shouted.
I still like being mean. Really.
I promptly killed Periwinkle.
I leapt at Steve and snapped his neck.
I ate him and died of poisoning.
I still like being mean.