A/N: Hey HarvestMoonLuv! Sorry this took sooo long! It's been a week since your fourteenth birthday, and here's your gift. (:
I wish you all the best on your special day (let today be so, since I failed to publish it on time) and God Bless! I'm watching Once Upon A Time now, so I gotta run and watch the new episode. Hehe~ Love you, and enjoy!
Galaxies
"I was terribly lost when the galaxies crossed and the sun went down...You're the only North Star that I'd follow this far." –Owl City (Galaxies)
When I first saw the star, my first thought was that it was blue. It wasn't an ocean shade of blue – it was a faded tinge of sky azure. As it glittered in the dark atmosphere, I noticed how vividly the star stood out. If you didn't look twice, it seemed white. But it was definitely blue.
The star strongly reminded me of Chelsea. I knew why – they were the exact same shade as her eyes. The way it twinkled was the similar way her eyes twinkled.
It saddened me because I missed Chelsea. I missed her terribly. Not a day in the past year had gone by without my mind wandering off to think of her. I realized it was tomorrow – the one year mark since she left.
The memories flooded in my mind. From her laughter, the sound of her sparkling laughter echoing in the town to her crying, imprinting a guilty weight in my heart. I never wanted this to happen. Once upon a time I believed that the worst thing that could happen were the tears sliding down her face, and that I couldn't comfort her, but this would always be worse.
I had already accepted that it wasn't my fault. My friends and family assured me as well as fully explaining why it wasn't my entire fault, and I understood. Chelsea would have said the same thing, after all. Deeply inside, I knew that. But all the same, I still felt like it was.
Regrettably, the details were beginning to become lingering hazes in my mind. Chelsea's face was slightly blurry and I sometimes had trouble remembering the good things, like the first day we met. After all, it had been three years since I met her.
I turned my head towards my close friend, Julia. Together we were making our way home from a delicious dinner at the diner, our stomachs gratefully satisfied. She looked at me.
"Does that star look blue to you?" I asked. My hands gestured above, indicating to where I had been looking. I hoped I didn't seem like such an idiot; asking if a shining star seemed blue.
But Julia stopped in her tracks with me. She craned her head, following my stare to observe the suspending orb. After a few moments, she carelessly shrugged. I sighed in relief, glad that she didn't mind my oddity. "It just looks like a star to me, Vaughn," she honestly said. Confused, she placed a hand on my shoulder. "Are you okay?" she questioned. "They all look like stars to me."
I supposed that star wasn't actually blue and that I was just seeing things. Maybe I had too much to drink. But still, I couldn't help but wonder.
I swore that star was tinted blue.
My thoughts failed to recollect as she suddenly crabbed my shoulder. Her bright eyes flashed in excitement. Julia was normally like this – happy –go-luck, energetic, and full of life. I wasn't surprised when she asked, "Should I ask Elliot to the Starry Night Festival?"
Why was she asking me? Obviously the two suited each other. Of course I would notice them sneaking quick glances and then hastily look away. Deep blushes would spread across their pale cheeks as they stared at their hands.
They would also occasionally spent their free afternoons together. Sometimes they would be strolling in the meadow or tending to the livestock. However, every Sunday morning, they sat at the Cafe with a steaming cup of delicious tea. I was well aware of all their activities as I strolled around town as well.
Please, it wasn't like they tried to make it not obvious or anything.
So simply, I glared at Julia. We continued walking on the path, towards home. "No, Julia," I sarcastically replied, crossing my arms. "You shouldn't ask Elliot because you guys are just totally not into each other."
Julia laughed. Her eyes sparkled under the dim moonlight. They're really perfect for each other, I thought with a smile. I remembered the days when Julia said the same about Chelsea and me. Those were moments that blossomed hope in my heart. It was hope that maybe our relationship could work out.
We continued like that, walking in silence, until Julia said, "Tomorrow is the day." When I gritted my teeth and grunted in agreement, she continued, "The day that she..." She trailed off; giving me that usual sympathetic expression people usually gave me. I was sick of it.
Gruffly, I told her, "I'm visiting her tomorrow." I was close to tearing up. To conceal her from seeing my pained feelings, I pulled my large hat over my head.
Tomorrow, she would seem so close yet so far away. All I really wanted was to somehow hold her for one last time, knowing that this would be the last time to embrace her and see her again. I wished to smell the sweet nectarine shampoo in her luscious brown locks and feel the warmth of her body against mine. The touch of her lips was heavenly and unforgettable.
She was my everything from head to toe.
Julia said before opening the door, "We all miss her too, Vaughn." The keys jangled as they jiggled in the lock. Although I couldn't see anything beyond the dark brim of my head, I could tell she was looking at me. "Talk to us whenever. We'll be here for you."
But I couldn't. They would listen to me, nod, smile, and comfort me. However, they would fail to understand. Nobody could. How could they feel how she loved me? How could they feel our desires for one another? How could they even begin to perceive our previous moments before we were separated?
They weren't there. The emotions stirred between me and Chelsea couldn't be described or even been painted as a picture.
It was comforting enough to treasure those moments with Chelsea. Now there was nobody to share them to but myself, and myself only.
Instead of saying that, I nodded and said, "Sure thing, Julia."
We slipped inside the house and said our good nights. After I shut my bedroom door, I collapsed on my bed and fell asleep.
I woke up later than planned the following morning. I would have slept in far another good hour if Julia didn't storm in my room with an excited squeal. Immediately I bolted upright at the sound of the thud of a door.
"Vaughn!" she screeched. Her face was flushed and her usual sleek white-blonde hair was frizzy. The sight of her gave me the impression she was out running. It was strange, because it was Sunday and she rarely went for a jog on Sundays.
"What's happenin'?" I mumbled, rubbing my eyes. To me, the world was still fuzzy, spinning, and it was definitely too loud. "You're so disruptive...why are you screaming?"
Julia was practically glowing. "Guess what happened?" she asked, still lost in her own universe. On her face she wore a familiar expression. What was it? I couldn't quite place my finger on it.
"What?" I grabbed a plain white t-shirt and pulled it over my head. The cool material brushed against my skin.
With a dreamy sigh, she sat on my bed. Normally, I wouldn't allow her to do that, much less enter my room without permission. I respected other people's privacy, so they should have done the same with mine. But she was so giddy and cheerful that I didn't have the heart of push her off. Never have I seen Julia like this.
"Elliott said yes!" she began to bounce so violently, excited squealed echoing in the spacious room. With a giggle, she laid her back across my bed. "I asked him, and he said yes!"
My ears perked up. Well, what do you know? My favourite couple was going to spend the most romantic time of the year together! My heart swelled with pride. I was happy for Elliot and Julia! After so long, they were together. The night would go without a fail.
From my bedside table I grabbed my usual hat and placed in on my head. Hopefully she didn't see my smirk. She was too happy already, and knowing Julia, she would explode if she figured out my equally mutual feelings.
Julia then blurted, "If Chelsea was here, the four of us would spend it together." The ecstatic expression on her face suddenly collapsed, realizing what she said and how the impact of her words affected me. I was there, silently aching.
Reality was a terrible reminder for my lost love, and I wished not to stay in it any more.
She was speaking the truth. Chelsea and I would most likely be spending this day together, along with Elliot and Julia. There was no denying it. We would laugh and eat dinner and kiss...Nothing would even be wrong.
How I desired that more than anything.
Hopefully she wasn't able to see the hurt in my eyes. I didn't blame her for what she said because it was an innocent, accidental comment. However, hearing her name allowed the memories to flow to my mind in the simplest ways.
I remembered how close she and Julia were. They were practically best friends. They were inseparable and loving, supporting one another through all the rough times. Often I had found them locked in Julia's room, laughing over the silliest things – even me, for all I knew.
It was then I realized she was sitting and waiting for me to say something. To answer, I gave a stiff nod and suddenly rose from my position. From the coat hanging I pulled my leather jacket, and loosely slung it around my shoulders. "I'm leaving," I told her. "You know, to visit her."
My trusted friend nodded, and wrapped her arms around my torso. It was comforting, but not acknowledging enough. I wondered if I would ever get over Chelsea.
"Take your time," she whispered with a small smile. Normally she would have accompanied me, but this was different. It was the day I simply had to go alone. Julia could have gone in her own time.
Because on the twentieth of winter was the day she died.
It was exactly a year ago. She travelled to the city to visit her immediate family before the holidays. To do that, she took the train, since she wasn't very fond of boats. On boats, she was seasick and stumbling around while vomiting. It was disgusting; believe me, because I was there once.
I had to stick around and work, so I couldn't travel with her. I wasn't sorry though, because in my bedroom was a delicate box. It was black and sturdy, lightweight and with velvety texture. I had it carefully made for the ring inside.
The ring was exquisite. The silvery band shimmered in its place, glowing with a rich aura of purity and loving. Three diamonds glittered in the center, the message "I love you" clear and ringing out. When I received the ring, I stared at it for about ten minutes, in awe. It was absolutely gorgeous.
Also, I could imagine her wearing the ring. It would perfectly suit her pale complexion and thin, calloused fingers. Without a doubt, I'm sure it would be stunning on her. Heads would turn towards her fingers, admiring the lovely sight and news of marriage.
To marry Chelsea; I was so sure of it. There was no hesitation about proposing to my one love.
It was planned out. On Starry Night, we would have dinner with the family like planned. Maybe Elliot would have joined us (and he didn't) but I wasn't sure. Then I would take her for a walk towards the lovely beach, and propose to her there.
My plan was flawless.
At least, I thought it was.
She was supposed to be back on the twenty-first, but earlier on the twentieth she called to say she was arriving back at home earlier than expected. "Mother and Father have a party to attend," Chelsea quickly explained. "It's for their jobs, so they mustn't miss it. I can't tag along either."
I understood. "Come on, then," I teasingly said, holding the phone to my ear. Laughter blossomed within me, as well as relief. Chelsea was coming home at last! I couldn't wait.
"Alright, alright!" she exclaimed, and from the background I could tell that she was quickly walking towards her stop, her luggage rolling behind her. It thumped behind her in such an awkward manner that I had to chuckle. "Shut up, Vaughn! I'm getting on the train right now, so don't worry about it!" Her clipped, English accent was so stern that it caused a blush to spread across my cheeks in embarrassment.
But I grinned again. "I always worry about you," I seriously told her. At this moment I was in my room, fiddling with the box in my hands. Nervously, I pondered about her reaction to the umpteenth time. "Never tell me not to worry."
"Right, Vaughn!" Chelsea said with a giggle. In the distance, the wailing moan of the train's horn sounded. Sounds were as if she were scrambling to move. "Sorry, love, I got to run!" There was endless chatter and the echoes of people pushing their way through the crowd. "Love you! Bye!"
"I love you."
And that was the last I'd ever heard from her.
I was unaware of when to expect her because she failed to inform me so. Patiently I waited, occupying myself with my usual activities. But on my mind was Chelsea. I couldn't wait to see her. The thought of her gave me the feeling of floating in a field of rose petals.
After ten in the night, I began to wonder. Where was Chelsea? I was seated at her couch, the one that we had cuddled on endless amount of times. The spare key was under the feeding bin of the chickens', like always.
On the table I noticed a book, with the daily trains coming and going from where Chelsea was. From the place, it said that the train would depart the station at nine-fifteen in the morning, and would arrive at the designated area at about one in the afternoon.
Panic began to rise in me.
She called me about thirteen hours ago. It couldn't possibly take that long to come here, could it?
There was an echoing knock at the door. It rang through the empty house with such conviction that immediately I knew something was wrong. Sounds were urgent and full of haste. It wasn't Chelsea; the feeling in my gut told me so.
I was reluctant to answer, but I eventually did. The door creaked as I leaned against it. "What?"
Mirabelle was face to face with me, a look of distress etched upon her face. Her cracked lips were violently trembling. She said no words, but simply reached out with her fingers towards me.
"Vaughn..." she whispered, ice blue ices fighting back tears. "Chelsea..." I didn't want to hear it. Somehow, inside, I knew just by her expression. I was aware of her next words. But I wished not to believe it. Frightened, I stared at my friend and caretaker. My heart felt as if it were breaking.
"No." My reply was curt and firm. "Where's Chelsea, Mirabelle?" This time my voice quivered. Now thinking about it, I was trying to convince myself of the false. Not when we were about to wed! I just couldn't be. I wanted someone to tell me she was alive and well.
Slowly, she shook her head. Wimpy blonde curls framed her round face. Arms were frantically tugging at the thin over wrap hugging her shoulders. A shiver ran over Mirabelle and she winced. She quietly said, "They crashed. She's gone, Vaughn. She's gone."
Those two girls cut through my mind as fast as a sharp knife slicing through butter. She's gone. To be gone, she would never return. I stared at the ground in disbelief. I bit my lip, causing it to graze against my tender lip. "How can she be gone?" I suddenly demanded. "A train isn't supposed to crash!"
Biting back a bitter sob, Mirabelle gently placed her hand on my shaking ones. "We don't know," she explained, attempting to keep her voice level. It didn't work. Unable to conceal her gulps, she said, "But it did."
The ache in my chest was unbearable. It was in my desire to bury my face in her fluffy pillow and inhale all of her scent until there was nothing left. Somehow I convinced myself that it was my fault. No longer could be with her anymore, and it was my fault.
I should have tried harder to convince her to stay home for one more day. I should have stalled with her longer, causing her to miss the train. I should have done something, at least. Anything.
The fact that I didn't stayed with me for a long time.
Not capable of making eye contact with Mirabelle, I said with my voice layered with frost and steel, "Leave me alone."
That was all I required.
And she did.
Chelsea's grave was the same as ever. Alone the tombstone sat in the corner, snow dusting the thick, smooth surface. The gray shadowed the mossy ground before it. To think that she lay beneath that huge layer of dirt, and below that, a dark casket made me sob.
A tear slid down my face. I missed her with all my heart.
As the thick earth sunk beneath my feet, I stared at the grave, boring holes below. I imagined her beneath me, smiling and laughing like the old days. Those were the days where we laid in the field, feeling fresh and without limits. We were deeply in love, and told each other many times.
"Chelsea," I was whispering. "Come back to me."
The red roses in my hand slackened, falling before the engraving. They softly landed in the mound of flurries. Red against the white reminded me of tragedy moments. It was like blood and wounds against purity. But in my situation, it was the pain splashed amongst the beauty of our love.
For a moment, I thought I imagined those very thin fingers grasping the freshly cut stem. I believed it was an illusion. How could I believe it was her, extending those nimble tips to touch the slender flower?
In my mind, I saw her bright blue eyes. They were encouraging me to move on and leave her in the past. If she were speaking, I was aware that was what she would have said. "Move on, Vaughn," she'd gently say, placing a hand on my shoulder. "I love you, but I'm dead. You can't love somebody dead."
She'd be right. But why did it have to be so hard?
I kneeled before her grave, silently crying.
And...
Then...
She...
Was...
There.
Chelsea was standing before me. Adorned in shining white robes, she beamed at me. I jumped scrambled to my feet. C-Chelsea...? Could it really be her? It was physically impossible. I almost caused myself to believe I was hallucinating.
She leaned down to take survey of my wet face, and remarked, "Vaughn, what have you been doing?" Her eyes were still that sky blue. It was even like the star. Was the star a sign that I would be speaking to her at this moment?
Hallucinating or not, I wasn't missing an opportunity to talk to her. "It's been a year since you died," I nervously replied. My trembling hands picked up the still perfect rose and held it in her direction. "Babe, I miss you."
For some reason, she was more stable and stronger. As she stood in front of me, tall and glowing, I thought, She's changed. Of course, Chelsea looked the same as ever – aside from the clothing, of course – but the way she stood was with more confidence.
Chelsea threw her head back and laughed; it was high and twinkling like always. "I missed you too, Vaughn," she told me. When she stepped forward, it was as if she were floating. I was awed by her presence. Was this really Chelsea?
She winked. "You're not dreaming, darling."
It took me a moment to process this. "So..." I slowly said, drawing out all my words. I raised an eyebrow. "What is this, then?"
"This is a live illusion." Her eyes flashed with regret. With that said, she reached out a hand. For a split second, I supposed she would grip the flower. If she could hold such a thing, maybe I could have held her once more like I wanted to.
But instead, her fingers passed mine. A chill swept through my body, and that was when I noticed how translucent she appeared. Sorrow washed over me, and I was able to tell she was feeling the same. I choked back another cry. "I wish this were real."
If she was real, I would have done anything to have her never leave my side again.
"Reality is lovely," she warily agreed, eyeing me with attentiveness. Chelsea's feet lowered. As she moved closer to me, her breath was ghostly. "The Harvest Goddess has allowed me to see you one last time."
One last time. That was the phrase that flashed in my memories almost every day after seeing her.
Chelsea continued, casually twirling her curly brown hair with her fingers. "You're feeling lost, Vaughn. You're feeling without love and without purpose in life." She stated this, pursing her heart shaped lips.
I didn't question how she knew, especially if she was acquainted with the Harvest Goddess. It was said the goddess comprehended everything, and not a single person had doubts in that.
"What do you think?" I snapped, turning my head so our eyes couldn't meet. "I lost you. What have you got to say about that?" There was no excuse.
"All I've got to say..." she leaned closely so that her lips brushed against mine. I was unable to physically experience the touch, but I sensed the gentle tension between us. Releasing a sigh, Chelsea shook her head. "Vaughn, I want the same as you. But it cannot be."
"You're the only one for me, Chelsea!" I gazed at her, mouth open with lost words. What could I say to the only love of my past?
Without hesitation, she easily said, "I'm the only Chelsea for you, Vaughn. But there are millions of girls out there, searching for the right man." Fondly, she grinned, placing her unfeeling hands against mine. "You can be that man. You can fall in love and have a family."
"That was you," I protested, unknowingly clenching my fists. The tears were coming back, threatening to shed. I shouted, "You were supposed to be my future, Chelsea!" I planned to marry Chelsea. I planned to have kids with her. I planned to stay with her as long as both of us were happy.
"It wasn't meant to be," she answered in that soothing voice. I almost considered the fact that she was telling me. An alarmed expression crossed her face as she glanced at the sky. "Listen, Vaughn, my time is running out. She let me come here to tell you one thing, and one thing only: Move on."
She wasn't suggested I move on. She was telling me that I was going to. There were no options. It was that or nothing.
"Move on?" I demanded, not accepting what I had heard.
She simply raised a single finger to indicate above. My gaze followed hers to stare at the star scattered atmosphere that endlessly stretched across our world. The greying clouds had cleared up, and now all that was left was a gorgeous night. All I could see was the darkened sky and twinkles of light watching over us.
"What?" I asked in a harsher whisper.
The smallest of smiles emerged on her face. For a fleeting moment, I detected the slightly familiar, joking glint in those cerulean eyes. But as quickly as they were there, they disappeared.
In all seriousness, Chelsea gave a short nod. "The sky, Vaughn," Chelsea reminded, "where the galaxies cross and the sun goes dark."
The fact that she began to talk in confusing riddles made me groan. "Chelsea, what are you talking about?" I questioned, shoving my hands in my pockets. I tried not to look annoyed, but she could tell. "Just tell me what you want to say already."
Her feet crushed against the dried earth beneath her, and for a moment, I thought she was solid once more. I continued to think so when she grasped my awaiting hands. For an instant, I could feel her cool palms pressing on mine like the old times.
I gasped. There was nothing that I would give to change this final moment. When she released our hold and said, "I'm above in the galaxies, watching over you," I nearly cried, once again. I stared into her eyes, my heart racing. Mentally taking that beautiful imagine of her graceful body into account, I stiffly nodded.
"I love you, Chelsea."
She finally smiled. "I love you, Vaughn, and I'm watching over you. Never forget that," she said, and that was the last I'd ever saw of her.
After that experience, I was completely muddled. I spent hours trying to decipher what she had been saying, extending her final words in all sorts of different directions. For hours, I was locked in my room, writing down in a little black notebook with a scrubby pencil.
However, none of my interpretations seemed right.
But one day, it hit me.
Chelsea didn't want me to keep mourning over her. She wanted me to move on. A few days ago, it was impossible, but now, I began considering it. It suddenly made complete sense.
At first, I said, "How could I ever move on?"
But seeing her that night deeply rattled me. Julia and Mirabelle could tell something there was off about my emotions, and they even asked. I failed to answer. I knew they played an enormous part in my life, and I had no desire to change that.
There were actually many lovely ladies in the city. Why couldn't I take a liking to the ones I had favour of? That was what Chelsea wanted. She wasn't saying to get all about her. She was saying to get a life. It didn't necessarily mean to cut the memories of Chelsea out of my mind.
Why didn't I see it before?
I smacked myself for being the idiot I was. I vowed to act by Chelsea's words and embrace what the Harvest Goddess had in store for my future. I thanked her for leading me, and for allowing Chelsea to aid me. I was immensely grateful.
The best part about it was that I was aware of Chelsea resting in heaven. I could meet her there someday, up in that starry, peaceful paradise. We'd be reunited and together again. For that, maybe it was possible to wait for a while longer.
She even convinced me she was watching up there in the galaxies.
When the stars were dazzling in the evening, I'd stare at the largest star in the sky, knowing its name to be the North Star. My intuition told me that was her: Chelsea. She was the only one I'd follow all the way up there.
For that reason, I lived life to the fullest. I attempted to become a more positive person towards the people in my life as well as trying hard in my job. There were so many things to change about myself in the future, but I had to take it slowly.
The changes in me would be gradual, and I didn't mind.
The simple thought of Chelsea awaiting my arrival in the galaxies was motivating me to strive and achieve my goals.
A/N: I think this is one of my best one-shots yet, because first, there's an actual plot. Second, many emotions I try to convey here are pretty successful and contribute to it all. Finally, there's a lesson to the story. I hope you all figured out what it is.
To all my general readers, I'm sorry for not updating any of my other stories sooner. I have midterms coming up so I'm unable to work on any of my stories until February! Also, I'm working on a new story with Hero'sValor132 so look out for that! The three stories I'm working towards updating are Until We See The Sun (Cam x Lillian), From The Fisherman To The Cowboy (Chelsea x Vaughn) and Forbidden (Amir x Anita)!