How…
Disclaimer: I (sadly) don't own Designated Survivor
A/N: Sequel to "I'm here." How can you love someone you never knew existed?
Enjoy!
Tom was wondering, as he was watching his wife sleeping how can you love someone you never knew existed? How can someone that was never born or even formed properly rip your heart out? Jed always tells him that having kids is like walking with your heart out of your body and when you lose a child…
"Having kids is like walking with your heart out of your body and when you lose a child it doesn't matter if it's 60 years old or a fetus it's like your heart gets trampled on." Tom looked at the older man, they had become rather close since they've met, often spending time together, having lunch or a drink after hard days… like this one… when a hospital full of children was blown up by ISIS in Syria "You're lucky all of your kids are here kiddo." Something in Tom's mind clicked.
"Jed did you and Abbey lost a child?" a sad smile appeared on Jed's face.
"Our only boy… born prematurely… too prematurely just fifteen weeks… nothing we could do. So trust me kiddo you're lucky."
He could finally understand the feeling. He wanted to cry and scream, but he couldn't, he had to be strong for Alex and Leo and Penny. They couldn't afford to have him break down.
"Tom." The look on her face when she called his name was all he needed to know, she wouldn't tell him anything good. He walked to her bed and sat down facing her, taking her left hand in his
"Before I was kidnapped I… I had found out that I was pregnant just… just 8 weeks along." His breath was caught in his throat, he hoped this wasn't going where he thought he was. "I feared… down in that basement… I feared I would lose the baby, never really believing it. But deep down I knew that… I knew that our baby wouldn't make it out of there alive…" the tears were rolling down her face, sobs rocking her frame, braking Tom piece by piece. He got up and moved next to her, wrapping his arms around her letting her use his shoulder as her sanctuary for as long as she needed "I lost the baby Tom. I lost our baby." She whispered out.
Tom bit his lip keeping the sob inside and wrapped his arms tighter around her. He was so lost… he and Alex always wanted more kids but life caught up with them and they thought they had lost the train, with Alex turning 44 couple months ago and the constant level of stress in their lives they had given up on the idea, the dream of the larger family. And he had made peace with that…
He had until he learned that Alex had a miscarriage, now all he could think is how happy he would be to see her pregnant, how glowing she looked the last time, the incredible feeling of seeing her grow with their child, feeling the baby kick. He was robbed of those things… they both were. He wanted to call Mike ask him if they had killed those bastards that took her, took them, but Alex was gripping his shirt so tight, using his arm as a pillow, her face buried to his chest that he was afraid to even move.
He looked down at the woman sleeping in his arms for the first time in weeks, the soft rays of the rising sun showering her face and for the first time in hours he was sure that they were going to make it. No matter what they would because she was alive and with him, she still let him touch her, she still wanted him around, as long as they had each other they would make it.
Warriors.
They were warriors after all.
As she leaned closer to him, breathing his name in her sleep he knew that he was going to give her anything and everything she would ask him.
"I'm always by your side Alex." He whispered in her hair and she murmured something that sounded like "I love you" in his shirt.
This was another day and for now they were fine…
A/N: The hardest is somewhat behind us. TBC