Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy.
They aren't the same people anymore. They are a little more broken then when you last saw them. The world seems to have gotten to them, the optimism and the sparkle in their eyes is gone, replaced with a sadness that seems to have seeped into their bones making them slow moving and weak. But they do their best to make sure that she doesn't notice how worried and scared they are for her they try to keep things upbeat and happy -rainbows and butterflies. But she knows they are just as miserable as she, is if not more, because they have to learn to live without her. So, she smiles just a little bit wider for their sake because if she doesn't then her thoughts go to that dark place, where she remembers that she won't be here for Mere's wedding or for George's birthday, she'll miss Thanksgiving and Christmas this year. But most of all she will miss Alex with his charming smile and cocky grin that makes her melt. She'll miss his strength how he laid on the bathroom floor with her-they all did.
They rally around her in times of sadness and devastation but when she's happy they seem to leave her to forget her. You would think that friends would be there through the good times as well but not her good times. Sure, she is there for all of theirs good times but she supposes it's better this way because she won't get her good time with Alex; she won't get her happy ending. This is the third time it's been ripped away from her. What has she done to deserve this? Nothing, absolutely nothing. She goes to church, she is a generally nice person, she saves lives for a living, just not her own. She can't save herself from this and neither can her friends as much as they'd like too. So they talk about the upcoming wedding that she won't get to be apart of and she tries to sound excited about all the things she'll miss out on.
So she focuses herself on thinking about rainbows, butterflies and puppies, cute happy things that aren't dying from a brain tumor because lord knows that Mere can't handle anymore dark and twisty. She wonders how they will go on without her. Will Alex lay on the bathroom floor in some kind of tribute to her? Will Christina go to the dollar store like she did when Mere almost died? Who will help Alex through this? When will he move on, who will he move on with Olivia-I bet-I'll have to talk to Alex about that before I'm gone-I don't want to have to haunt him like Denny did me. I guess, I'll get to see Denny soon so I won't be alone. That's good think of Denny. But what about Alex? Alex who will have to learn to live without me like I had to learn to live without Denny. I should be thinking about how I won't get to marry Alex. But here I am thinking about getting to see Denny who does that?