A/N: Alright so I've worked on this story for a while. I think you will all love it. I know I did. Takes place in Armada when Starscream first arrives. As it goes on it will be AU. And a lot of songs work so good with this story. They really bring in the emotions and speaks unspoken words. Oh and another announcement. If you read or have read my other stories, I have writer's block for them. If you have any ideas for stories such as A Price to Pay, Mirrors, Hidden Love, and Saving what's left. I would appreciate the help.
Lyrics/flashbacks/comlinks
Main Pairings:
StarscreamxJetfire
Child(s): Skyfire
OptimusxScavenger
Child(s): Smokescreen
DemolisherxCyclonus
Child(s): Tailgate
MegatronxSoundwave:
Child(s): Lightwave, Serenity
Hot ShotxWheeljack
Child(s): Ironjack
ex. IronjackxHighburn
Warnings: slash, fluff, mpreg, death, violence, kissing, mentions of interfacing, mentions of abuse, AU, and anything else I forgot, tell me.
Songs used:
Keep on loving you by REO Speedwagon
If I let you go by Westlife
My Love by Westlife
Nothing's going to stop us now by Starship
The One by Skillet
Don't wake me by Skillet
One day too late by Skillet
Not gonna die by Skillet
I did it for you by Westlife
I'll see you again by Westlife
Feel invincible by Skillet
The last night by Skillet
You are my hope by Skillet
Power of Love by Air Supply
What I believe by Skillet
Hard to find by Skillet
Fire and Fury by Skillet
Good to be alive by Skillet
Love is my witness by Westlife
Far away by Nickelback
In the end by Black Veil Brides
Til I was loved by you by Stan Bush
Queen of my Heart by Westlife
Note: For some of the songs, only certain lines go with the story. You're welcome to listen to them. I'll put the songs I use for the chapter up instead of the long list.
Disclaimer: I do not own Transformers. Only Hasbro and others, which I don't remember. I only own my characters. I also don't own the songs. I just use them to make the story better.
The moment Jetfire saw Starscream, he knew his life would change. The seeker stood there with Swindle and the Star Saber minicons. The others spoke of not trusting the seeker, who wished to defect from Megatron's ranks. Jetfire felt his spark leap and skip when he saw him. Then it sunk when the seeker started to leave with his minicons.
"Where are you going?" Jetfire asked.
"It appears I am not welcome here. I will go rouge and defeat Megatron myself," Starscream answered.
"You don't have to go," Alexis protested. "I can trust you."
"Yeah me too," said Rad. Starscream merely nodded.
"There's an extra room next to mine. I'll give you a tour and let you get settled in," Jetfire offered. Starscream nodded again and left with the white shuttle.
~~~000
"That traitor," Megatron growled. "I will kill him for betraying the Decepticons."
"He's going to regret it," Demolisher said.
"Oooo... I can't wait to see him die. I always knew he was no good," Cyclonus cackled, laughing away.
"Thrust, I want you to find Starscream and bring him to me," Megatron ordered.
"Of course Megatron," Thrust bowed.
~~~000
"Is it big enough?" Jetfire asked.
"Yes... it's just fine Jetfire," Starscream said, sitting down on the berth.
"Alright. If you need me, I'm right next door. Optimus is across the hall and Red Alert's next to him," said Jetfire. "I'll let you get some rest. Red will be by later to check on you."
"Thank you Jetfire," Starscream uttered, laying down to get some recharge. His minicons joined him.
~~~000
"How's he doing?" Optimus asked.
"He's getting some rest. I'm going to have Red Alert go check on him later. He seems more damaged then from when he came here," said Jetfire.
"Something else is bothering you Jetfire," Optimus pointed out.
"My spark feels strange around Starscream. It's like I want to be close to him all the time," Jetfire explained softly.
"Ah. I know that feeling. I see you found your sparkmate my friend," Optimus chuckled.
"How do you know?"
"I, myself, am bonded. I know the feeling all too well."
"Who's the lucky one?"
"Well for starters, his name is Scavenger."
"Scavenger? Really?"
"Yes really. And Smokescreen is our son."
"So that's why you reacted the way you did when Smokescreen was almost killed."
~~~flashback
Optimus froze, his spark racing wildly. Smokescreen screamed as the blast from the Requiem Blaster went through him. Surprisingly, Smokescreen got up and tried to stop Megatron just as he warped away. The orange mech fell, his damaged body unable to support itself.
"Smokescreen!" Optimus shouted, running towards the mech. He picked him up, watching red optics fade away.
"I... tried to p-protect... the minicons carrier," Smokescreen whispered painfully.
"You did a good job Smokescreen. You did your best, that's all that matters," Optimus reassured. Smokescreen's optics darkened and he fell limp. Optimus stared at his son. "Smokescreen?"
"No, Smokescreen," Hot Shot whispered, horror written all on his face.
Optimus stayed there on his knees, not believing what was happening. He clenched his fists together and shouted in anger and sorrow up to the sky. Scavenger carefully approached Optimus and placed a servo on him. He too, knew the pain. The larger mech took Optimus into his arms, hugging him closely.
~~~end flashback
"Wow. Who knew you could have a mate? It's nothing bad of course. It's just surprising," said Jetfire.
"Scavenger has made my life so much easier. Without him, I don't know where I would be right now. When I was sparked with Smokescreen, my life became better," Optimus grinned. "Tell Starscream your feelings soon. You never know when it may be too late."
~~~000
Starscream couldn't fall asleep. Nightmares of his abuse had come back to haunt him. The Star Saber and Swindle slept soundly next to and on the seeker. Being betrayed was not a good feeling. Starscream sighed and looked at his charges.
"What am I going to do?" Starscream asked himself. "I don't know what I'm feeling every time I see Jetfire. It confuses me. I've never felt this before."
~~~000
The children went home to get some sleep. They had school in the morning. Red Alert had checked up on Starscream the day before, making sure he was alright. Optimus and Hot Shot helped the seeker while the others went on patrol.
"Where's Jetfire?" Starscream asked.
"He's out on patrol. He will be back soon," Hot Shot answered. "Why did you need him?"
"I don't know honestly," Starscream replied back.
"I think I know why," said Optimus. He started to walk to his room. "Follow me. Hot Shot, stay here in case the others return."
Starscream followed Optimus down the hall, turning into the Prime's room. Optimus motioned for the seeker to sit on the berth.
"So what is this feeling you feel?" asked Optimus.
"I... I don't know. I want to always be near Jetfire all the time," said Starscream.
"What you're feeling is called love. That feeling in your spark is a sign that you found your sparkmate," Optimus supplied.
"Sparkmate? Love? Why am I feeling these?" Starscream questioned, feeling scared.
"Tell Jetfire what you feel and see what he feels," Optimus hinted.
"But how? I don't know what love is or how to show it. I don't know what to do," Starscream admitted.
"You'll find a way," Optimus reassured, smiling under his mask.
~~~000
"Come on," Carlos complained. "You've been at that for hours."
"Yeah well, unlike you, I have work to get done Carlos," Alexis growled.
"Fine. I'll go see if some of the minicons want to play," Carlos grumbled.
Alexis shook her head and went back to her homework. She turned on some music to help her concentrate. Jetfire was at the monitor for his turn on monitor duty. The song playing was a strange one.
Day after day
Time passed away
And I just can't get you off my mind
Nobody knows, I hide it inside
I keep on searching but I can't find
The courage to show to letting you know
I've never felt so much love before
And once again I'm thinking about
Taking the easy way out
But if I let you go I will never know
What my life would be holding you close to me
Will I ever see you smiling back at me? ([Shane:] oh yeah)
How will I know
if I let you go?
Night after night I hear myself say
Why can't this feeling just fade away
There's no one like you (no one like you)
You speak to my heart (speak to my heart)
It's such a shame we're worlds apart
I'm too shy to ask, I'm too proud to lose
But sooner or later I gotta choose
And once again I'm thinking about
Taking the easy way out
But if I let you go I will never know
What my life would be, holding you close to me
Will I ever see you smiling back at me? (oh yeah)
How will I know
if I let you go ?
If I let you go ooooh baby
Ooooooooohhhhh
Once again I'm thinking about
Taking the easy way out
Ooooooooohhhhh
But if I let you go I will never know
What my life would be, holding you close to me
(close to me)
Will I ever see you smiling back at me?
( oh yeah)
How will I know
(if I let you go?)
But if I let you go I will never know
( oh baby)
Will I ever see you smiling back at me?
( oh yeah)
How will I know
if I let you go ?
"Jetfire, you alright?" Alexis asked.
"Yeah... I mean no," the shuttle recovered.
"So something is bothering you. You can tell me. I won't tell anyone," Alexis promised.
"Well... I have these feelings in my spark that appeared when I think... about someone or they are in the room. I don't know how to tell them that I love them and want to be their sparkmate," Jetfire quietly confessed.
"The best way is just to tell them. Usually just talking doesn't help, so giving gifs and notes help," said Alexis.
"What kind of gifts?" Jetfire queried.
"Whatever they like," Alexis smiled.
~~~000
Starscream had stayed long enough in the hall to hear Alexis' song before leaving to go practice with the Star Saber. His thoughts ran wild as he remembered what Optimus told him. Would his life be made easier? Will it be better or worse? Will he have kids? Questions filled Starscream's mind, sadly with no answers, or at least not now.
"What am I going to do Swindle?" Starscream asked, looking down at the four minicons. Swindle and Jetstorm beeped up at him. "My life has always been pain and suffering. Can I really love someone?"
Starscream slid down the wall and sat there, pondering on what his spark felt. The four minicons talked to each other before hugging the red and white mech. Starscream smiled down at his mini partners.
"I guess you're right. I will confront him tomorrow," said Starscream.
~~~000
"We can't find them," said Scavenger.
"Find who?" Blurr asked.
"Starscream and Jetfire. They went somewhere," said Scavenger.
"Maybe they went to spar," Hoist suggested. "Or patrol."
"None of the above," Optimus corrected. "The two of them had something to take care of."
~~~000
"I... wish to tell you something Jetfire," Starscream said nervously. The two sat staring into the setting sun.
"I want to tell you something as well," said Jetfire.
"You go first," Starscream said quickly.
"I... Starscream... my spark holds feelings for you. Whenever I'm around you, my spark wants to get closer," Jetfire stammered.
"I hold the same feelings. Optimus said it's called love. I've never felt any sort of love before. All I've known is pain, suffering, and humiliation," Starscream said, embarrassed at his feelings.
"If you permit me to, I will show you everything you never knew," Jetfire offered.
"I would enjoy that."
"Great. I'll see you tonight. We'll go slow at first."