Written for the CM Weekly Prompts Forum
October Week 1
Song Title Prompt: "I Wanted You More" by Lady Antebellum
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I looked him straight in the eye. Well this was a little bit more than awkward. About a year ago he left me a broken heart and no hope. I looked deep into those eyes that knew not what he had done. The way he had left me. The way it ended, I guess he could not love just as my friends had said.
I had gotten in so much trouble since I had last seen him. I was kidnapped and kept for about 6 months by a friend. A rehab for getting over him. A little torture here and no sun light there. About 6 months of nothing but pain and tears. I was glad I made it through the program. About 10 were chosen, and I was the first to "pass".
I did not need him anymore. I had cried for him almost 11 months now and the need for him was gone. To be honest I should have seen the signs, but I wanted him so bad. We had made so many plans, and my heart was entirely in his hands. Yet I did not have his. Still I wanted him more than I could follow my mind.
Around the fifth month of training, I stopped crying for him and started crying for me. Then yesterday I made it through rehab, the first one to do so according to my friend. My friend said I could be released and we would celebrate. He came in right when my friend was releasing me. My friend was a little hostile towards him because of him being the reason for a need of rehab and the FBI had finally found this rehab center. He shot my friend for the hostility and released me.
Here I looked straight into his eyes. They were filled with compassion and I thought I saw love. That could not be true because I always had wanted him more. His actions told me what had ripped us apart had also saved me. His love for his job saved my life.
All those late nights without a single call. All the dates he broke. The year anniversary he missed. The 2nd year anniversary he missed. The 3rd year anniversary he also missed. All that for the job that saved my life but cost us our relationship.
I tried so hard to make him make me a priority. I tried every night he gave me. We painted a dream in which he had a less demanding job with a wife and kids. We talked about him leaving the BAU and about moving. We talked about him working on the dream he had to cure his mother.
When he missed the 3rd anniversary I made one call. It was over but I waited for his call back. I wanted so badly for him to call back and say I love you and want you more than I love and want my job. I always wanted him more. He always wanted his job.
"It is good to see you again Spencer." I said
He looked a little confused and replied "It is good to see you are in good health."
We both laughed. I went to the hospital and he went home. It was good to be over him.