(A/N: This is a parody we had to write in English and I decided to use Danilo and Elaith. I tried to capture Danilo's ridiculous side and I hope I succeeded. Please R/R and let me know if you like it!)

(Featuring Danilo and Elaith. Khelben is mentioned as well as Caesar, Brutus, and I'm not sure who else)

Zorin: As usual, I must make my disclaimer.

Sadon: Why bother? The people most likely don't even read them so what's the point?

Zorin: *draws her sword* The point my dear drow…is on my sword. *Puts the sword away* Not really. I just wanted to say that. It's still good to give the disclaimer. Anyway, I don't own Forgotten Realms or any of the characters nor do I own anyone from the Shakespeare play "Julius Caesar". The only people I do own are me and Sadon but we're not in this (Sadon in the background: thanks Mielikki!) and don't worry, we'll not be bugging you anymore…at least I hope not. Enjoy!
Sadon: *shakes head in shame* Oh well. Once this mage's mind is set, you can't change it. So on with the parody already!

A Parody of Mark Antony's Speech

Danilo: Uncle Khelben, friends, Romans, fellow bards, lend to me your swords…wait a sec…I'm supposed to be…okay…yeah...anyway!

I come to bury Cae- what's this? 'Bury'? But that means I'll get my clothes dirty! *Sighs* Oh well, it's not like Arilyn hasn't made me do something close to this before.

I come to bury Caesar, and I don't know if I'm allowed to praise him but ok.

Yes I do say that all of the evils that Elaith does lives after him…I mean…all of the evils that all of the races do lives after them.

The good is often not found in Elaith's bone but can be found in others bones.

So let it be with Caesar. The not so well fashioned but very honorable Brutus has told you, I'm sure, that Caesar was ambitious.

If that were true, then he'd be as bad as Elaith…um…I wasn't supposed to say that was I? Well it's true! If Caesar was ambitious, then it was a very grievous fault,

And just as grievously, the poor man, Caesar, paid for it.

Here, under honorable Brutus' leave and the leave of the rest (they are also honorable),

I am to speak in Caesar's funeral…which is rather dirty and smelly if you ask me-

Elaith: *in the background of Dan's speech and under his breath* No one did!

Danilo: He was my friend (although I don't remember how I met such a man), he was faithful and righteous to me;

But Brutus says that he was ambitious,

And of course, we mustn't forget that Brutus is an honorable man.

He has brought many captives back to their homes in Waterdeep- um, Rome-

Whose ransoms do you think filled the people's treasury?

When the poor people cried- not something I am unaccustomed to-, Caesar wept;

Ambition would and should be made of sterner stuff.

Yet we hear Brutus say Caesar as ambitious;

And without a doubt, Brutus is an honorable man.

You saw that on the Lupercal (Dan's thoughts: what the heck is a lupercal?!)

I had presented him the crown (which Khelben was hard pressed to release),

I did so three times! And all three times, he refused it. Now do you tell me this is ambition?

Yet Brutus said that Caesar was ambitious.

Brutus is also an honorable man.

I speak to you not to change what Brutus spoke,

But I'm here to speak what it is that I know.

(Elaith' thoughts: which isn't very much…)

Danilo: You all did love him once of that I'm sure, and not without cause;

What cause keeps all of you from mourning him?

Oh judgement! You have fled to brutish beasts,

And the men have lost their reason! Please, bear with me;

My heart is in the coffin with Arilyn- I mean with Caesar! My heart is in the coffin with Caesar! And it really stinks in there.

But now, I must pause until I can get it to come back to me.