Disclaimer: I do not own any Harry Potter Characters I just write about
them. I also don't own the copyright to "Strawberry Gashes" That is by Jack
off Jill. Note: This story is filled with Cutting, Suicidal Tendency's and
overdoses. If you are offended by this LEAVE NOW.. Also there is talk of
rape and surviving rape.
Hermione remembered that night. She remembered everything about that night. She winced as the knife raked across her ivory skin. She remembered reading an article once about girls who would cut and burn themselves. She thought then that she'd never do that to herself. She was wrong. Boy was she ever wrong. She looked lovingly at her scars and the freshest cuts on her arms. She ran her fingers over the cuts, feeling the raised lines on her skin.
The rain outside was going hard. Harder then it had in months. The silver- blonde haired boy pulling her into a class room. "So Mudblood you think you so much better then everyone else?" "No, I don't whatever gave you that idea?" Hermione said. "You always think your right. Let me show you how right you are."
She shook her head then. She didn't wanna think about that now. She didn't wanna think about it ever again. But she knew that it would have to be dealt with. She sighed. Hermione was better then this. No one could know that she was cutting. No one could know why either.
She looked at her watch. She was late. Hermione raced down the stairs and smacked head first into her two best friends. Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley. Both looked just a little shaken, due to the fact that first she was late secondly that she was running like Peeves had just seen her naked.
"Where's the fire Mione?" Ron asked.
"Huh?" Hermione said.
" ' Mione are you alright? Do you wanna talk?" Harry asked.
"No that's alright Harry. We should get to class."
"But. But what about breakfast?" Ron asked. He looked hurt that she'd forgotten to eat.
"Oh that's right.. Breakfast. Well, lets go then." She said.
Hermione dreaded the Great Hall. She didn't want to see him. She didn't want to be around him so that she could see him sneer at her and talk loudly with his friends about the mystery girl that had been so good.
She'd been that mystery girl. And she wasn't one to sleep around. He'd taken her innocence and then laughed in her face. She couldn't bare to face him. Not again.
"Filthy little Mudblood you think your so perfect." "I'm not perfect." Hermione said. "Then why don't you admit that you like this?" He hissed. "Because I don't. Let me go." "Why should I?" He'd had her back against the wall in a corridor that the stairs and taken them to when they had walked out of Transfiguration. She could feel the cold concrete of the wall behind her and she prayed that someone anyone would come and help her. He had her hands pinned above her head. She couldn't move because he pressed himself up against the wall she could barely breath. "Come one Hermione tell me that you like it. Tell me you enjoy this." "No!" she sobbed. He touched her. Again and again till she was on the floor sobbing in pain. The bruises where forming already and the blood dripped down on the floor. Her tears mixed with her own blood and she couldn't get up. "You bastard!" "What a good lay. Huh Granger?" She reached for her wand then. "Avenda Ka-" "Stupefy!"
Hermione was crying again and she didn't even realize it. Ron and Harry where eating and she just sat there crying into her food. They both thought they should talk with Sirius. Which was teaching DADA this year. He'd been cleared. Hermione thought about when Harry had come back to school after defeating Voldermort. He was shaken up pretty badly. He didn't want to admit that he had committed murder, even if it was for the good of the entire wizarding world. But she couldn't talk to him about this. Even if she heard the story and the nightmares Harry had over and over again. Hermione got up and ran out of the Great Hall with Harry and Ron looking after her confused.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* We went up to see Sirius in his office after our first class. Which Hermione wasn't at. Ron and I knocked softly and he opened the door looking a little worn out.
"Tired Sirius?" Ron asked.
"Worried. I haven't heard from Remus since the last moon phase."
"I'm sure he's fine Siri." Harry said.
"Most likely, and you two, you look absolutely dreadful." Sirius said.
"Gee thanks, but we are here to ask you something." I pouted.
"Alright whatever it is. 'yes' because you know I can't take that pout." Sirius said and Ron snorted.
"No Sirius, its about Hermione, she's been acting very strange lately and we where just wondering if she'd come to talk with you?" Ron asked.
"Actually now that you mention it I've not seen Hermione since two weeks ago. Which is odd because she usually comes to ask me questions about Defense Against the Dark Arts and very old magic." He mused.
"What kind of old magic Siri?" Harry asked looking worried. "Time travel. She actually asked if she could have back the time reverse thing she has while you three where in third year. She's also asked about healing magic, I just thought it was her curiosity but now I'm a little worried."
"Why Sirius what else is there. You're not telling us something. I know it." Ron asked.
"She was asking about American Wicca, Pagan, old Native American, and Aztec Magic. In Wicca, there is no "dark magic" but there is "Black Magic" which if one where to use then they are well. screwed." Sirius said.
"Black Magic? Like Manges and the like?" I asked.
"No much worse. In Wicca they have a rule. 'Ever mind the Rule of Three,
What thou dost returns to thee, Follow this with mind and heart,
Merry ye meet, and merry ye part.' Which basically is saying 'whatever you send out comes back to you three fold."
"Well then that sounds harmless enough. As long as you follow that silly rule." Ron said.
"It's not just some silly rule. The American Wicca's believe in 'Do as ye will and ye harm none.' " Sirius said.
"Thanks Siri I think I'm going to go back up to the rooms, I've got a bad feeling about what you've told me." I said.
I grabbed Ron and we said our goodbyes and we ran all the way up to the Gryffindor Common Room.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Hermione was in her room with a bunch of Muggle books, by a Wiccan author, and she had most of her supplies. Tarot cards, 'holy water' a knife which in the wiccan world is known as an 'athame' her altar, and herbs that she needed. This wasn't potions but just about as hard.
She began walking into a circle three times chanting all the while the wiccan circle opening. She sat down and began to anoint the tools that she would have to use. Then she picked up the knife and put it to her wrists. With two deep long vertical gashes her rite was finished. The black magic complete.
Just as she lay down to stop the room from spinning the doors slammed open with Harry, Ron, Sirius, and Ginny all looking at Hermione with horror. Sirius picked her up and the other 3 followed him to the Infirmary. Where Hermione was put under the care of Madame Pomfrey. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ TBC (A/N Wicca worship doesn't include blood. AT ALL. If you would like to find out more about Wicca look at your local book store for Silver Ravenwolf's works or Scott Cunningham both very good authors. You'll see in the next chapter why this is here.)
Hermione remembered that night. She remembered everything about that night. She winced as the knife raked across her ivory skin. She remembered reading an article once about girls who would cut and burn themselves. She thought then that she'd never do that to herself. She was wrong. Boy was she ever wrong. She looked lovingly at her scars and the freshest cuts on her arms. She ran her fingers over the cuts, feeling the raised lines on her skin.
The rain outside was going hard. Harder then it had in months. The silver- blonde haired boy pulling her into a class room. "So Mudblood you think you so much better then everyone else?" "No, I don't whatever gave you that idea?" Hermione said. "You always think your right. Let me show you how right you are."
She shook her head then. She didn't wanna think about that now. She didn't wanna think about it ever again. But she knew that it would have to be dealt with. She sighed. Hermione was better then this. No one could know that she was cutting. No one could know why either.
She looked at her watch. She was late. Hermione raced down the stairs and smacked head first into her two best friends. Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley. Both looked just a little shaken, due to the fact that first she was late secondly that she was running like Peeves had just seen her naked.
"Where's the fire Mione?" Ron asked.
"Huh?" Hermione said.
" ' Mione are you alright? Do you wanna talk?" Harry asked.
"No that's alright Harry. We should get to class."
"But. But what about breakfast?" Ron asked. He looked hurt that she'd forgotten to eat.
"Oh that's right.. Breakfast. Well, lets go then." She said.
Hermione dreaded the Great Hall. She didn't want to see him. She didn't want to be around him so that she could see him sneer at her and talk loudly with his friends about the mystery girl that had been so good.
She'd been that mystery girl. And she wasn't one to sleep around. He'd taken her innocence and then laughed in her face. She couldn't bare to face him. Not again.
"Filthy little Mudblood you think your so perfect." "I'm not perfect." Hermione said. "Then why don't you admit that you like this?" He hissed. "Because I don't. Let me go." "Why should I?" He'd had her back against the wall in a corridor that the stairs and taken them to when they had walked out of Transfiguration. She could feel the cold concrete of the wall behind her and she prayed that someone anyone would come and help her. He had her hands pinned above her head. She couldn't move because he pressed himself up against the wall she could barely breath. "Come one Hermione tell me that you like it. Tell me you enjoy this." "No!" she sobbed. He touched her. Again and again till she was on the floor sobbing in pain. The bruises where forming already and the blood dripped down on the floor. Her tears mixed with her own blood and she couldn't get up. "You bastard!" "What a good lay. Huh Granger?" She reached for her wand then. "Avenda Ka-" "Stupefy!"
Hermione was crying again and she didn't even realize it. Ron and Harry where eating and she just sat there crying into her food. They both thought they should talk with Sirius. Which was teaching DADA this year. He'd been cleared. Hermione thought about when Harry had come back to school after defeating Voldermort. He was shaken up pretty badly. He didn't want to admit that he had committed murder, even if it was for the good of the entire wizarding world. But she couldn't talk to him about this. Even if she heard the story and the nightmares Harry had over and over again. Hermione got up and ran out of the Great Hall with Harry and Ron looking after her confused.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* We went up to see Sirius in his office after our first class. Which Hermione wasn't at. Ron and I knocked softly and he opened the door looking a little worn out.
"Tired Sirius?" Ron asked.
"Worried. I haven't heard from Remus since the last moon phase."
"I'm sure he's fine Siri." Harry said.
"Most likely, and you two, you look absolutely dreadful." Sirius said.
"Gee thanks, but we are here to ask you something." I pouted.
"Alright whatever it is. 'yes' because you know I can't take that pout." Sirius said and Ron snorted.
"No Sirius, its about Hermione, she's been acting very strange lately and we where just wondering if she'd come to talk with you?" Ron asked.
"Actually now that you mention it I've not seen Hermione since two weeks ago. Which is odd because she usually comes to ask me questions about Defense Against the Dark Arts and very old magic." He mused.
"What kind of old magic Siri?" Harry asked looking worried. "Time travel. She actually asked if she could have back the time reverse thing she has while you three where in third year. She's also asked about healing magic, I just thought it was her curiosity but now I'm a little worried."
"Why Sirius what else is there. You're not telling us something. I know it." Ron asked.
"She was asking about American Wicca, Pagan, old Native American, and Aztec Magic. In Wicca, there is no "dark magic" but there is "Black Magic" which if one where to use then they are well. screwed." Sirius said.
"Black Magic? Like Manges and the like?" I asked.
"No much worse. In Wicca they have a rule. 'Ever mind the Rule of Three,
What thou dost returns to thee, Follow this with mind and heart,
Merry ye meet, and merry ye part.' Which basically is saying 'whatever you send out comes back to you three fold."
"Well then that sounds harmless enough. As long as you follow that silly rule." Ron said.
"It's not just some silly rule. The American Wicca's believe in 'Do as ye will and ye harm none.' " Sirius said.
"Thanks Siri I think I'm going to go back up to the rooms, I've got a bad feeling about what you've told me." I said.
I grabbed Ron and we said our goodbyes and we ran all the way up to the Gryffindor Common Room.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Hermione was in her room with a bunch of Muggle books, by a Wiccan author, and she had most of her supplies. Tarot cards, 'holy water' a knife which in the wiccan world is known as an 'athame' her altar, and herbs that she needed. This wasn't potions but just about as hard.
She began walking into a circle three times chanting all the while the wiccan circle opening. She sat down and began to anoint the tools that she would have to use. Then she picked up the knife and put it to her wrists. With two deep long vertical gashes her rite was finished. The black magic complete.
Just as she lay down to stop the room from spinning the doors slammed open with Harry, Ron, Sirius, and Ginny all looking at Hermione with horror. Sirius picked her up and the other 3 followed him to the Infirmary. Where Hermione was put under the care of Madame Pomfrey. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ TBC (A/N Wicca worship doesn't include blood. AT ALL. If you would like to find out more about Wicca look at your local book store for Silver Ravenwolf's works or Scott Cunningham both very good authors. You'll see in the next chapter why this is here.)