Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Clarke's mind chanted over and over again on repeat. She couldn't remember the last time she'd had more than 3 hours of sleep, a proper meal, and a real shower. Being tied down in the hospital for… She, honest to God, couldn't even tell how long, did that to a person. If it hadn't been for her phone display telling her it was Thursday, she wouldn't have known what day it was… She hadn't been outside the horrible florescent white-washed walls of the hospital in days. The clock on the dash said it was 5:43, and seeing as how it was light out and traffic was horrible, she knew it was in the afternoon.
Two doctors and four nurses had called in sick over the past week with the flu, which seemed to be going around, turning Clarke's normal 12 hour Monday day shift into the never ending shift from hell… It seemed every time she got a moment to sit down and breath or sleep, she was back up again with some emergency, rushed off her feet working with a limited staff. Two motorcycle accidents, 3 appendectomies, more flu cases than she could even begin to count, one dramatic birth in a broken elevator, and a horrifying 4 car pile-up on I-10 later, and she was finally able to head home and sleep. She planned and plotted in her mind to sleep for days… No annoying wake-up calls (Jasper, Wells) or people showing up un expectedly (Abby, Raven, Octavia, Jasper again)…
Her only bright spot in the past few days had been her secret, caring boyfriend of about four months (the two months they were just strictly sleeping together before they got together officially, didn't count) … If anyone had said 6 months ago that she would be in a loving, committed relationship with a man who was a major asshole most of the time, she would have had them committed. Sure he was a great brother… She saw that with Octavia. He was a great cop… She knew that much. He was a very loyal friend… Once Bellamy Blake was someone's friend, they were a friend for life, but a boyfriend? She had no idea Bellamy would be such a great boyfriend… He was so concerned and protective over her. He was sweet and gentle with her some of the time, and firm and argumentative in others, driving her mad. He was frustrating and smug, but at the same time so thoughtful and attentive. He drove her absolutely crazy, but she loved him, even if she hadn't told him yet. She was building to it though (Don't judge.).
While she had been going through these rough few day, Bellamy had brought her food making sure she ate something (even if she never got a chance to eat it all) other than vending machine food or the bland cardboard tasting crap they served at the hospital, and brought her coffee as much as possible between his own crazy work schedule at the station. The only times she'd slept had been when Bellamy had shown up and dragged her into an on-call room, forcing her to sleep for a couple of hours before her pager was going off again. He was always sweet enough to stay and hold her while she slept, sometimes sleeping too, even though the beds were small and uncomfortable and he could have easily gone home to his big comfy bed. He'd told her it made him feel better holding her, and, well, what the hell was a girl with an incredibly hot boyfriend who said sweet things like that to her supposed to do? She melted of course and let him hold her. She secretly, (not-so-secretly because he knew) adored being in his arms… It was where she felt safest and most cherished.
Reaching for the dial on the radio, she turned the volume up as loud as she could bear, hoping the pop music would keep her up for the rest of the short drive to her house… After about two songs, the radio guy came on, very enthusiastically, talking a mile a minute, before stopping and saying something that had Clarke swerving to the side of the road and hitting her brakes hard, other cars blaring their horns in anger at her dangerous move.
"So we got a special request from a guy named Blake, who wanted to dedicate this song to his girl Clarke. I guess we know what they're gonna be doing this weekend." He said hintingly with mirth in his voice, laughing salaciously after. "Here's Zayn with PILLOWTALK, on Q92!"
The first few slow harmonious beats came through the speakers, before the guy began singing.
Climb on board
We'll go slow and high tempo
Light and dark
Hold me hard and mellow
I'm seeing the pain, seeing the pleasure
Nobody but you, 'body but me, 'body but us
Bodies together
I'd love to hold you close, tonight and always
I'd love to wake up next to you
I'd love to hold you close, tonight and always
I'd love to wake up next to you
"Oh. My. God." Clarke whispered horrified, looking down at her radio like it had slapped her, as the song continued to play.
So we'll piss off the neighbours
In the place that feels the tears
The place to lose your fears
Yeah, reckless behavior
A place that is so pure, so dirty and raw
Be in the bed all day, bed all day, bed all day
It's our paradise and it's our war zone
It's our paradise and it's our war zone
Pillow talk
My enemy, my ally
Prisoners
Then we're free, it's a thriller
What in the hell was he thinking outing them like this?! Didn't he know almost all their friends listened to this same station?! They would have heard this! They would know she and Bellamy were together! Sure Clarke was the one who wanted their relationship to be kept a secret, and Bellamy hadn't exactly been happy about it, but he'd accepted it because it's what she had wanted. She had her reasons for wanting it to be a secret… Mainly that their friends would get involved and have opinions about their relationship and Clarke did not want to go through all the teasing, and innuendoes, and I told you so's that were sure to abound from the group who had wanted them to get together for years now. Then there was the matter of Octavia, who Clarke had no idea how she would react to the news, because she'd never said anything. Her best friend dating and sleeping with her older brother? Would she be okay with it, or did she want those two parts of her life separate from each other? Then there was the fact that it wouldn't be just her and Bellamy anymore… As stupid and irrational as it sounded, she'd have to share him. They couldn't ditch group outings anymore with separate excuses, so they could meet up and go out or stay in, because the group would know what they were doing. This was something Bellamy would totally do though…
The smaller rational, non-panicky part of her was calmly telling her that while yes this was exactly the type of thing Bellamy would do, thinking it would be romantic or something along those lines, this had to have been other people... Some other girl named Clarke, and a guy actually named Blake instead of her boyfriend using his last name like she was thinking. This had nothing to do with her and Bellamy, her mind repeated firmly, convincingly. Clarke chose to believe that voice… She had just over reacted about something that had nothing to do with her or her boyfriend. It was nothing.
Clarke took a deep cleansing breath, her heart still pounding in her chest from the scare, but listened to the rest of the song, a blush rising to her cheeks thinking how if it had been dedicated to her by Bellamy, which Clarke had decided it wasn't, it would have been an appropriate song… It was really so them, especially for the past weekend they had spent together. They had spent the whole weekend in his bed, only leaving it for hygiene and sustenance purposes. Clarke couldn't remember a time that she'd been happier… Unless all the other times she was in Bellamy's presence counted.
As the song came to a close, repeating the words paradise and war zone twice, Clarke let a small smile come to her face thinking about her man. She had messaged him when she left the hospital and was on her way home, letting him know she was finally off work… Maybe she'd call him and see if he wanted to come over. She could do that now with it meaning something more than just sex… It was about intimacy. She craved intimacy with him, and now that they had admitted to having feelings for one another and were in a committed relationship, she got what she craved, and right now, she just wanted him to come hold and cuddle with her until she fell asleep… Bellamy, when allowed she found, was a very affectionate, cuddly person, whether he was giving it or receiving it, it didn't matter, even though he looked gruff and rugged and like he wasn't that type of person.
Clarke decided to wait until she got home to call him. As she prepared to merge into traffic once again her phone vibrated once in her lap with an incoming text. Seeing as how she was still pulled over, she decided to read it really quick.
Sliding the message notification over and typing in her password revealed her conversation window with Miller, her friend, and Bellamy's partner on the force… He was the only one who knew about Bellamy and Clarke's relationship and fling before that, just for the fact that he lived in the apartment next to Bellamy's and Clarke knew he wouldn't tell anyone, mainly because he didn't care. Miller was a very chill person. Reading the message her heart rate increased once again, thumping wildly in her chest.
I told him not to do it. He didn't listen. –M
Clarke quickly typed… What are you talking about? –C
The three dots popped up and a second later. The song on the radio dedicated to you. –M
She was going to kill him. Strangle the life out of him. Where is he? –C
IDK. Home I guess. I'm on my way to Murphy's place and heard it on the radio. Ya'll nasty btw. –M
Clarke waited for a break in traffic and turned her car around, driving to his apartment. Her phone buzzing incessantly in her lap, but she didn't look at it, both because she was driving, and way too furious to stop and look at who was messaging and calling her. She had a pretty good idea who was blowing up her phone anyway… Everyone.
Pulling up in a parking space in front of Bellamy's apartment building, Clarke threw her car in park and stormed into the building, taking the stairs instead of the elevator because stomping was actually quite therapeutic. Plus, she also wanted him to hear her coming… She knew she wasn't exactly sane at that moment, lack of sleep and overwhelming anger considering, but she didn't care. Standing in front of his door she pounded on it uncaring of his neighbors. Miller next door wasn't home, Mrs. Jerowski across the hall was old and mostly deaf, and Emori who lived on the other side of Bellamy was more than likely at Murphy's seeing as how they were thinking of moving in soon. If she were home, she wouldn't care… She and Murphy were loud when they argued, and so were Clarke and Bellamy. Both couples never really complained about the other. She rationalized knowing all of this, saying in her mind she was just observant, not that she had been spending a hell of a lot of time here.
After a moment or so, the door swung open revealing a shirtless Bellamy, his dark work pants still hanging low on his hips with the belt undone. He must have just gotten home and was in the middle of changing… He always did that, changing right when he got home from work into a pair of sweat pants and not much else. He was shocked to see her. That much was obvious, but he also seemed to be searching for something in her face and eyes too. "Hey princess… Why aren't you at your place sleeping?" He asked cautiously, seeing her obvious rage.
"I. Am. So. Livid. With you. Right now." She spat through clenched teeth. His face went from cautious to confused. Clarke idly took note of her phone still vibrating incessantly. She was just too scared to look at it.
"And why would that be?" He asked raising one infuriating eyebrow.
"You know why." She cried. "Why would you do that? That-That song?" She asked, her chin quivering and her eyes filling with hot angry tears. She tried as hard as she could to hold them back, but they spilled over anyway, rushing down her face. Bellamy's eyes widened, before he cursed lowly, sweeping her into the apartment and over to the couch, where he pulled her onto his lap and tucked her into his chest, wrapping his arms around her tightly, as her body shook with silent sobs. She knew she was just really tired, and that's why she was angry crying (she only angry cried when she was extremely exhausted). Already the anger was seeping out of her… She suspected it was because he was holding her so close and tightly, like she was going to leave or be torn away from him. She buried her face in his warm neck, as her body slowly came down from her adrenaline rush triggered by her anger.
"Why did you dedicate that particular song? And on the radio of all places?" She asked, her voice cracked from crying and muffled against his skin.
He leaned his forehead against her temple. "Because it made me think of you, and I was too chicken shit to say anything about it in person. We fight and we argue, I know we do, but no matter what we fight and argue about, I never want to stop waking up next to you or going to sleep next to you at night. We have good moments and memories way more than we do bad ones, and you make me happier than anything or anyone ever has, including Octavia. I-I was trying to say in my own way that I-"
Her phone buzzing in her back pocket with an incoming call stopped Bellamy from continuing what he was saying. Clarke made no move from where she was still curled on his lap into his chest to get it. "Who's calling?" He asked her quietly.
"Everyone." She mumbled sadly, clenching her eyes together tightly. "They know now, or they highly suspect I imagine, about us. That's what happens when you commit a song like that to someone on the radio."
Bellamy cursed under his breath, tilting Clarke's chin up to look at him. She opened her blue eyes to see his own dark brown eyes filled with remorse. "I'm sorry princess. I didn't think of anyone else but you hearing it. I guess that's why Miller told me not to do it huh."
"Yup…" She murmured, looking down, feeling her phone vibrate. Again. Bellamy slid her phone out of her back pocket, typing in her password… How he knew it was his birth date and month, she didn't know but didn't ask. She leaned back into him again, not caring that he waded through the sea of calls and messages on her phone that she'd gotten in the last 30 minutes. In fact, she was grateful for it. She sighed heavily as he rubbed soothing circles into her back. She closed her eyes and was almost asleep, when a deep chuckle rumbled through Bellamy's chest. "What?" She asked.
"Well most of it in the beginning is confusion about who Blake is, and how I was going to be very mad you were with a guy who had the same first name as my last name. That was Raven who said that. Lincoln was panicking thinking my sister was cheating on him with you. Jasper was confused… As always. Wells wondered why you didn't tell him about the quote 'new guy in your life'. Monty said he got the full story from Miller and was happy for us both, and that he'd explain it to everyone else. From there its mostly congratulations from everyone… Murphy said nice with a winky face. Raven said congrats for quote 'finally getting our act together' and that the longing looks were getting to be too much, even for her. Lincoln said he was sorry for jumping to conclusions, he only heard from the person at reception at the studio that someone named Blake dedicated an intimate song to someone named Clarke, and he freaked out immediately thinking of Octavia… He said he didn't even think of me. Octavia apparently slapped the back of his head pretty hard for being stupid and thinking she would ever cheat on Lincoln or, and I quote, 'that Clarke would ever go for anyone but Bellamy. Bellamy would flip if she was with anyone but him.'. Wells says he gets dibs on being godfather to our first born. Octavia says she knew all along, yada, yada, yada, and she calls dibs on maid of honor at our wedding… She also asked how you could put up with me, because apparently I'm a total dunderhead. Hmm…" He hummed exiting out of that conversation and hitting another, reading quietly before speaking. "Miller asked you not to cut off my balls because he needed me to be at work tomorrow, fully functional. Wow. Would you look at that… Miller is getting emotional." Bellamy mused that last part to himself, still scrolling. Clarke couldn't help but giggle at that… Giggling then turned into full out laughter, and she just couldn't seem to stop. Soon both of them were laughing until their sides hurt.
Once they had a good long laugh and had calmed somewhat, Bellamy switched her phone off and tossed it to the other end of the couch. He pulled her closer and kissed her temple. They were both silent for a moment, before Bellamy spoke quietly, shocking Clarke. "I love you."
She pulled back to look at him. "What?" She whispered, astonished.
"I-" Bellamy cleared his throat nervously, looking down shyly. Bellamy Blake was being shy and nervous with her… This had never happened. Like, ever. Never in the history of ever. She cupped his face and angled it so she could see his eyes. "I love you." He said again looking deeply into her eyes. "I have since the moment I laid eyes on you all those years ago, walking into that dimly lit bar wearing that yellow sundress. Your hair was in a braid, and I couldn't help but think you looked just like a princess." Her eyes widened. She couldn't believe he remembered that, or that was the reasoning behind the nickname. It always seemed like such an insult, due to her coming from wealth, and he would say it with such animosity in the beginning… It gradually became loving of course, but still… She had never known of the nicknames origin. "I dedicated that song to you because like I said before, I want to wake up and go to bed with you right there beside me. I want to come home to you every day, and I want you to come home to me. I want to hold you and grow old with you. One day, when I know you're ready, I'm going to put a ring on this finger…" He said kissing the ring finger on her left hand. "I would rather fight with you- for you- everyday of forever than to live one single day without you, and I will. As long as you'll have me. When my lease is up in two months, I want you and I to find a place together, so we can start making a life together." Clarke was in tears once again, but for a completely different reason than before… These tears were of joy and happiness.
"I love you too Bellamy Blake. Yes, I'd love for us to live together." She said sniffling. "And don't know how you're going to top your proposal speech, because that was… Everything." She whispered, awed that he felt that about her. Every word was the same for her in regards to him. Instead of saying so, she simply kissed him pouring all her love and devotion into it, promising him that he had her heart, body, and soul.
As the kiss slowed, exhaustion rolled over her once again, making her dizzy- That, or it was Bellamy and that intense kiss. Who knew. She leaned back into his chest, tucking her head into the crook of his neck. "I'm so tired." She said drowsily, her words slurring some, as her eyes closed involuntarily.
Suddenly the world shifted as Bellamy stood with her in his arms and carried her to his room she guessed… It was confirmed a moment later when Bellamy slid her into the cool sheets of his heavenly bed, slipping her shoes and pants off to make her more comfortable.
As he pulled the comforter up over her, wrapping her in a cocoon of warmth and Bellamy's scent, she murmured, "Hey Bell, next time, can you just give me a Beyoncé song? Halo is pretty great."
"I dunno Princess." He chuckled quietly, brushing a stray curl from her cheek. "I think that song worked out pretty great for me… Best pillow talk ever." He said ghosting a kiss over her lips, as she slipped off into a deep slumber.
Pillow Talk can be any variety of things. It can be before or after being intimate, or without that at all. The point of pillow talk, though, is for two people to enjoy each other's presence through conversation, in a somewhat spontaneous way, but in a way that will let both parties go to bed with clear heads. -Urban Dictionary definition
So, this one shot literally came to my mind the other day when a guy on the radio had this song dedicated to his girl. Literally, the words the DJ said were the same as in my story, just different names obviously. I took it a step further, applied it to my OTP, and this one shot was the result. Hope you enjoyed. Leave me some love!
XOXO -Redhead17x
PS- Come find me on tumblr (redhead17x) and check out my other story, Lips of an Angel, new update coming soon.