Title: Shifts
Author: Sydney
I have been around you for over two years, always thinking about you. You probably would have no idea though about that. At least I hope you don't because I could not stand the thought of losing you. For two years I have wanted something more then friendship from you but like the old story goes, I would not jeopardize our friendship for the possibility of something more. You mean too much to me.
So I started dealing with settling for just a friendship with you. It was extremely hard at first especially because when you like someone the messages get all mixed up. You touch me lightly on the arm and then my mind goes into overdrive. "Did she mean to do that? Maybe it was just on accident. I wonder if she feels the same way."
It did get easier over time. I found that when we talk, the best thing to do was put distance between us and to stick to safe topics. Family, friends, sports. No feelings. This had been working, sure our friendship was not the same but it was safe and that is what I needed with you since I could have you the way I wanted to.
Now, today…Well today did not just throw me off this safe stand we seemed to have fallen into so effortless, you flew me a hundred yards off on my ass.
"What the hell is your problem!" You yell at me. I turn towards the door in the bathroom where you have just entered. You lock the door and stare at me intently.
"What are you talking about?" You really have me confused here. Today had been like any other between us. Casual talking, very small flirting. Like I said, the usual.
"Us." Its stuff like this that just when I feel like I am completely over you, I realize how far from the truth that is. I am speechless. I know you are a very smart person and that I would never treat as any less but right now I feel incredibly stupid.
"What are you talking about us?" I guess that is the wrong thing to say because before I know it you are out the door again.
Back to me sitting in my comfortable chair and my brain in overdrive. You did not give me much to go on so I am trying to fill in the blanks. A knock starts me from my thoughts. Opening my door you surprise me for the third time today. Looking at you, I know what you were talking about earlier. I give you a small smile.
"Would you like to come in?"
"Please." I open the door winder for you to come in. You put up your coat on the coat hanger and look at me. You have come to my house but I know that it is my turn to take the lead.
I hesitantly walk towards you lifting my hand to you face. My palm reaches up to your face. Your skin is smoother then I could ever imagine. I want to remember everything about this moment. I take my eyes from where my hand is lightly touching your face, to your eyes. I know now that when I will look back at it, some of our most important conversations have occurred in silence. When I look you in the eyes I find the confidence I never knew I had.
"I am in love with you." You smile. If you only knew how much I enjoyed seeing you smile and knowing that I am the cause of it.
"I know. I am in love with you too." You said the words I never imagined you would say. Hoped, dreamed, wished you would say them but I never thought it would become reality.
I look down and grab your hand in mind and rub your fingers lightly.
"This is crazy. I never…" I stutter. I have always had an issue talking about my feelings especially where you are concerned. "I never thought you would feel this way for me." I need time. I need time to adjust to the face that this thing is not just one sided. "Spend the night?" I need time but I need you more next to me.
"Of course." Still having your hand in mine, I lead us to my room. I find you some clothes to wear to bed and change into my own. After changing I pull some of the covers back on my bed and get in, waiting for you to come out of the bathroom.
When you walk out of the bathroom, seeing you in my sweats and my white t-shirt, I get this smile on my face. I can barely describe it. It is like everything in the world is right with you and I feel this peace within myself when you are around. I'm comfortable with you, which is very uncommon for me. You lay down in bed, I don't even ask or say anything, but you're cuddling next to me. You have your arm wrapped around my waist and your head resting on my chest.
For the first night since graduating high school, I slept the entire night. For the first night I woke up refreshed. For the first night I was completely happy. I wake up a good twenty minutes before you and take the time to study you. I have not allowed myself to study you in a while because of what could happen. You look very peaceful sleeping. When you wake up you look up at me and smile.
"Good morning beautiful."
"Good morning."
"So I have had this want involves me kissing you. Is that okay with you?" I have wanted this since we first met. You reach up and slowly kiss me. Everything I have dreamed of and more.
"I still can not believe this. I have had so many dreams of this happening and me wising for it to happen but I never thought it could happen."
"I know where you are coming from. At first I thought it was just your looks but when you and I started to spend time together I knew it was far from that. You have this way about you that is more attractive that anyone could be." That is the biggest compliment that anyone has ever given me.
"I will never get tired of telling you that I love you. I hope you know that." I smile at your laugh. This is the start of something that I will never forget, that I will never want to forget.