I don't know what in the world possessed me to do it, but I kissed him.
We were standing next to each other on the porch of Genkai's Temple. Awkwardly. Always awkwardly. He didn't want to be there. He never did. Not if I was around. So we stood next to each other awkwardly. He glanced at me out of the corner of his eye, every so often. He always looked at me the same way. Very awkwardly. Like he was afraid of me. I never understood why, but I would smile at him softly and he'd look away as fast as he could. It was awkward. Everything about him is awkward. No matter how many times I say awkward in my explanations you will never understand how awkward it really was.
Kazuma and Yusuke were training. They were all over the place, really. Kazuma couldn't really keep up with Yusuke's speed, but he was still very fast for a human, so they could move across the temple grounds in only a matter of seconds.
He was watching them, but not really watching them, and standing by my side awkwardly.
Kurama was sitting on the porch a little ways away from the two of us. He was reading a book, or at least he was pretending to. I think he was really watching us.
Watching Kurama read was boring and I wasn't very interested in watching Kazuma get beat up, so I turned my attention to watching Hiei out of the corner of my eye. He wasn't looking at me, for once. He was looking at the ground beneath him. He seemed to be lost in thought. He had the cutest little pout on his lips and I wondered if he was even aware that I was there anymore. He must not have been, because when I moved in front of him he didn't notice.
The next thing I knew, I had kissed him. I kissed him right on the lips, and it felt like the world stopped turning. When I pulled away and looked into his eyes, for the first time, he looked afraid. Horrified, actually.
I suddenly realized that everyone else had stopped moving, too. I could feel Yusuke and Kazuma staring at us, and I could see Kurama had looked up from his book to watch us too.
Like I said earlier, I really don't know what possessed me to kiss him.
Suddenly I felt that awkwardness again. I took an awkward step backwards and muttered an awkward little "Sorry."
He still didn't move, but I did. I ran back inside as fast as I could to go hide in my room. Even from there I could hear Kazuma outside yelling at poor Hiei, though I doubted that Hiei cared. I think Hiei might have been in shock. I knew I was. I could feel myself shaking.
When I had kissed Hiei I could have sworn I felt something. It was weird, not like the sort of thing you hear from hopeless romantics. It wasn't like a bolt of electricity or anything weird like that. It was more like…
Like his lips fit with mine.
Like our hearts were beating in sync with each other.
Like I knew him somehow.
Not the way I know Kazuma and Botan and Shizuru. Not like a friend or even a lover, but like I knew everything about him.
Like we were one.
That was the last time I saw Hiei.
I know that he's somewhere nearby, though.
I can feel him.
He's watching over me.
I didn't understand it then, but I do now.
Hiei is my brother.
My lovely, adoring, awkward twin brother.
And I love him very much.