A/N: Welcome to the first chapter of Heart and Mind! I'm excited for this story and I hope you will be too. Please tell me if you like the story and what you think!
Prologue
I was shivering in the drafty hallway but was still too afraid to knock on the door. In leaned in close to the peep hole but could see nothing but distorted light. He was either awake, or unable to sleep in the dark. I couldn't decide which I preferred.
I fiddled wildly with the hem of my shirt with my right hand and held my left up to the door, poised to knock.
Downstairs I heard a door swing open and then shut hard and the dancing in my hands spread to my feet. I anxiously fiddled for a moment longer before making my decision.
I brought fist lightly against the door and stepped back.
I grew more anxious by the second. There was no sign of movement from inside. I knocked harder this time.
A muffled shuffling sound came from behind the door. I shoved my hands in my sweater pockets in anticipation. The door swung open. In the door stood a tall but slight man, his hair tucked behind his ears.
"Alex?"
Present
"Alex, you can talk to us. Your parents are going to jail. They can't hurt you anymore."
I was so exhausted I couldn't think. My head was pounding. The glaring light bore into my eyes and caused tiny stabbing sensations with every throb.
These people didn't understand and they would be in my life for all of a few hours. I had a lot more hours than that to go in my life and I felt like getting on with it.
I still didn't know where I would be spending the night or the night after that. I didn't know where my sister was at that moment and I didn't know how I was suppose to take care of her when I they insisted on holding me here.
Here. Where was here? Everything within that little room was generic. Folding chairs, folding table, a long mirror to my right. Everything was white and drenched in light. A man with dark hair and eyes sat before me. He didn't mean to be imposing but he was. He knew it was in everyone's best interest to be kind to me but I couldn't buy it.
I pressed two fingers to each eye and tried to block out the damn light. My mouth scrunched up with my squinting eyes.
"We'll put them away but, your testimony will be such a big help. We can help each other."
It was all I could do to brace myself against the sound of his words. Focusing on them was out of the question. Answering him was laughable.
I kept my eyes squinted shut and moved my index fingers to each temple. I felt the lump of each pulse squeeze by. I pressed gently over it to slow the rate of liquid pain to my head.
I felt him shift.
"Do you need anything? Water, food, anything?" The man asked kindly. I was hungry. I hadn't eaten in 24 hours, hadn't drank in half that but I shook my head. My stomach was knotted so hard that eating was unthinkable.
I opened my eyes slightly and stared at the man's shoulder instead of looking him in the eye. He leaned back and glanced at the mirror. I followed his gaze but saw nothing.
"Well," He said. "There's no rush. To be honest, the only reason we're keeping you is because we are unable to find a place for you and your sister to stay. If you'd be more comfortable, you can hang out in the office." I thought for a moment. Angie was out there somewhere, probably with a nice FBI agent playing candy land. I hated it, but I was in no state to be helping her. I shook my head again.
"Alright. I'll be out there if you decide you want to talk. Just ask for Agent Hotchner. And feel free to come out and read a magazine." I nodded.
When he didn't move, I shut my eyes again to hint to him that I wanted him out. He sighed and stood up.
"I'll send someone in with something to keep yourself busy." He said. I heard him head for the door and leave. With him gone, I felt myself relax a little. I was no longer on the spot. I folded my arms on the table and buried my head in them. My hair was a tangled mess and my fingers caught in the snarls. I hated feeling unclean. At this point, you'd think I'd be used to it.
I heard the door click open softly. There were no approaching footsteps. No movement at all. The silence of the stranger brought shivers to my neck.
"May I come in?" The voice was male but gentle, very unassuming. It was as if the stranger believed I was sleeping and actually cared if I was woken up. At this I lifted my head. Who here would ask my permission for such a thing? The light assaulted my eyes and I was forced to avert them for a moment before looking again at the open doorway.
The man that stood before me was much slighter than the one before. He wore an odd, brown corduroy suit unlike any I had ever seen. His watch was clasped over his sleeve and his socks didn't match. I squinted at him, completely forgetting myself.
He shut the door behind him. In his right hand he held a deck of cards and a few magazines.
"Should I dim the lights?" He asked, seeing me squint.
I nodded and he did as I indicated. I was finally able to open my eyes fully. My head still pounded but the stabbing sensation had been relieved. The man dropped the items on the table and sat across from me. He did not bother to scoot in his chair.
His hands went immediately for the deck of cards. He removed them from the box and skillfully shuffled them, allowing the cards to bend and fan and flip. "What do you play?" He asked, without looking up from his work.
"I only know poker." I said. It did not occur to me that that was the first thing I had said in hours. I saw the tiniest of smiles play across his lips. His eyes flickered toward the mirror.
"Perfect." He said, and he began to deal me in. "My name is Dr. Spencer Reid."
We played several games. I didn't know the time but it had to be late. Angie would be getting tired soon. Dr. Reid did not ask me questions about my parents. Instead he asked me about school, and my friends. I answered him briefly. Despite not feeling like talking, I felt an illogical desire to please him.
Agent Hotchner returned after some time. Dr. Reid and I both looked up.
"We were unable to find an available foster family for you to stay with. Unfortunately, you will have to spend the night in a group home."
I shrugged. I had been to a group home before. I pretended my parents had up and left me and stayed there when I couldn't bare to be home. It wasn't far from the truth anyway. It was easier to keep Angie safe in a group home than it was at home so she was used to it.
"We were able to find a temporary foster family for your sister though." I stood up abruptly and shook my head.
"No. Angie stays with me." I said. Dr. Reid scratched his head thoughtfully and Agent Hotchner took a breath. "That's really not an option. You are still a minor. You do not have legal control over your sister and at this time, the state has deemed it is best she stays with this family, just until we find a more permanent home for the two of you."
I shook my head but stared at the floor, loosing conviction. There was nothing I hated more than feeling like everything was out of my hands, powerless. I drew in a harsh, shuddering breath. I tried to reason with myself. This is the city. It's not the same suburb where Angie and I had lived our whole lives. I had no idea what to expect. Did I really want to figure it out with my 6 year old sister?
It might have been several minutes before I spoke again. "I want the phone number and names of the family members." Agent Hotchner nodded.
"Of course."
"And when I'm back here tomorrow, I expect her right there." I said pointing to the chair just outside the door. I was in no position to make demands but I didn't give a crap. Agent Hotchner nodded again.
"She will be. I'll see to it."
"Good." I said.
"There is a car waiting for you out front. The driver will take you to the group home. He will be waiting for you again in the morning at 10 o-clock. I'm counting on you for your cooperation." He said. I felt a weight in his last sentence. He was doing me a favor, and now I had to do him one. I had to talk.