A/N: This is a stand alone piece, but also a background story for my other fanfic "What you wish for", where my version of Triss from this story is going to play some part at some point. At least that's the plan.

Regarding the chronology, this story takes place at the beginning of the first game. It's heavily based on the story from the books as well as the first game, but I can't possibly know if there are any inconsistencies with the original story, since I don't have the possibility to read all the books yet.

Disclaimer: The characters and most ideas of this story belong to Andrzej Sapkowski and/or Project CD Projekt Red. I apologize for twisting them after my heart's desire for my own entertainment. And hopefully your entertainment as well. Enjoy and let me know what you think.

I owe a big thank you to Pesto Monkey who beta-read and edited this.

Rated M for mature situations.

A knock on the door made Triss grunt in protest and toss in her bed. The repetition disturbed her sleep and annoyed her. Sedona knew better than to wake her up before noon!

It wasn't because Triss was particularly lazy, but because her work required her to stay up until inhuman hours of the night. It was her task as royal adviser to be amidst the elite of the city when they gathered in their leisure time at the exclusive establishment of the New Narakort, and to inform herself of whatever was transpiring around the kingdom while fine beverages were loosening the well-fed patrons' tongues. And last night had been particularly demanding, as she had to entertain the Redanian ambassador, a balding fat man with a disgusting habit of scratching his balls every other sentence and chewing his food too loudly. So unless the castle was on fire, or the king had a stroke, she wasn't interested in hearing about it. But she wasn't given a choice. The third rap of knocks on the door came even more insistently. Triss swore and tossed the sheets away. She reached for her silky dressing gown that matched her nightgown, and after she wrapped it around herself she called "Enter."

Her young servant entered carefully, first sticking her head in and giving a quick glance towards the bed before she stepped over the threshold. Triss had occasional overnight visitors, and after Sedona once interrupted at a very inopportune moment she had become much more apprehensive about entering Triss' bedroom while she was there.

"Forgive me, my lady. A missive just arrived, said it's urgent, and to give it to you right away."

"Well, don't just stand there then. Bring it to me."

The girl moved swiftly and presented Triss with a silver tray where the sealed parchment lay. It wasn't the royal seal, Triss noticed. It was the seal of Kaer Morhen. She took the folded parchment and turned to sit on the chair at her dressing table.

"Pull the curtains, and bring me a glass of juice," Triss said while she tore open the seal.

"Yes, my lady," the girl hurried to comply.

Triss recognized Vesemir's handwriting on the letter dated two days ago, and she abruptly stood from her chair after reading only a couple of lines, feeling the pit of her stomach fill with butterflies.

Geralt? Can this be possible? Can he be alive? Can he be back after five years, after no one hearing from him and everyone thinking him dead?

Triss' thoughts and questions rushed all at once into her head. Vesemir would not say so if it wasn't true, she reasoned with herself. On the other hand, Vesemir knows you well enough to know that only the mention of Geralt's name would get your undivided attention. So if he needs you for some other task, this would be the best way to make you come running. She swore out loud, angry at herself for her weakness, and clutched the parchment in her hand. Even after so long, and after what had happened you still carry a torch for Geralt, little one. Don't you ever learn?

She began hurriedly packing her things, but stopped in the middle of it and headed for her small desk where she took a fresh piece of parchment. She had trouble steadying her hand in order to write a few lines to the court about her impending absence. As soon as Sedona returned with her drink, Triss instructed her to deliver the letter, and detailed other chores to be done in her absence, then sent her away so she could resume preparing for her trip. She took one more look at herself in the mirror before she uttered the incantation that would open a portal to take her to Kaer Morhen, the closest the witchers had to a home.

o0o

She teleported into the huge dining hall of the old fortress. Oh great, just my luck, she almost snorted out loud at the sight of the tall slim dark haired man sitting at the long table in front of a big pile of peas he was busy picking from their pods. He raised his head without interrupting the activity of his dexterous hands and looked at her in that annoyingly quizzical way that made her want to slap him.

"Merigold," he acknowledged her presence in his usual mocking tone, but wasn't satisfied to stop at that, even though he knew how much she hated it. "You think that because you're a royal advisor you don't need to knock? And I foolishly thought they'd teach you some manners at Foltest's court."

"What do you know of manners? You never had any," she retorted and started to walk away.

"Lambert, stop baiting Triss," Vesemir spoke as he came from behind the huge fireplace that separated the kitchen from the dining hall. "You should be grateful that she took time from her busy life to come so quickly. Triss, my child, welcome to Kaer Morhen." The old witcher stretched his hands towards her.

"Vesemir, is it true? Is Geralt really back?" she answered, placing her hands in his.

"It's true, child. He's back. Eskel found him not three days ago in the forest but a mile from the fortress. He's been unconscious for most of the time, and delirious in the short moments he's awoken. He's running a fever, and herbs are not helping."

"Take me to him," she said, and started walking towards the stairs, then turned brusquely.

"What about Yennefer?" she asked. This was the first time the thought of her friend had entered her mind. How could you completely forget about your friend, the one Geralt's heart belonged to? Well, not that that fact has stopped you before, she admonished herself, as the memory of how she once seduced Geralt with the help of a little magic resurfaced.

"He was alone when Eskel found him. We found no trace of Yennefer or anybody else."

Triss tried her hardest to maintain a neutral expression. She didn't know if she should be glad that Geralt was here without Yennefer and in need of her help, or if she should be worried that her friend, Yennefer, was still missing.

"Is he hurt?" she said while climbing the spiral stairs towards the first floor, where the witchers' chambers were located.

"Not as far as we can tell. This is why I called you. Maybe magic will reveal something the eye can not."

Eskel stood from the stool when Triss entered Geralt's chamber followed by Vesemir. The lofty and once majestic room had not been used during his absence, but had been kept just as he had left it. She had only been here once in the course of the last five years. Geralt did not have many worldly possessions, so entering his room provided no particular clues about him, nor did it change her feelings in any way. It was a room as any other of the witchers' chambers, with sparse and simple furniture and little else. It was only the knowledge that Geralt inhabited this room every time he was at Kaer Morhen that made it his. How many times have you imagined yourself walking into this room and joining him in his bed? she thought when the memory of long years of longing crushed upon her at the sight of Geralt's unconscious body lying on the bed. She felt her heart beat hard in her chest. It was really him, and she could barely contain her elation. She let the strap of her bag fall off her shoulder and approached the bed where Geralt lay.

"Welcome, Triss," Eskel greeted her, and she realised she had been so engrossed in her own thoughts and feelings, she had hardly noticed the other witcher, or anything else around her for that matter, she was so intently focused on Geralt.

"I'm glad you could make it," Eskel continued, and she tore her eyes briefly from the bed.

"Hey, Eskel. How is he doing?"

"The same since I found him. He seems to be asleep. Sometimes he speaks what sounds like gibberish, but I haven't been able to get through to him. Do you think you can help?"

Triss looked at Geralt again. His skin glistened with a thin layer of sweat and the sheets under him were trashed.

"I am going to run a diagnostic," she answered, and moved to the edge of the bed. She spread her arms above him and whispered an incantation while she hovered her hands over his body.

"There's nothing physically wrong with him," she announced. "It's a mental disturbance." She moved away from the bed, and found her bag again. "I am going to give him a mild sedative and then I'll try a few spells," she continued while she untied the bag's straps and dug through its contents.

"Here, give him this to drink," she handed Eskel a small bottle.

"What's this for?" he asked, raising the bottle up and gazing through it in the light of the big arched windows.

"To calm his mind and make him more susceptible to the spell I'm going to try. Don't worry, it's nothing nearly as dangerous as those elixirs you stuff yourselves with. It's not going to do him any harm."

Eskel moved towards the bed after a short glance at Vesemir who was standing behind her. He emptied the content of the bottle in Geralt's mouth, who unconsciously swallowed some of it, while the rest spilled from the corner of his mouth.

"I'll need to be alone with him," Triss told them. "I can't be distracted while I work."

"Are you sure you can handle it?" Lambert asked, his voice coming from barely half a step behind her, making her flinch.

When did he come in? She hadn't noticed his presence and she felt a rush of heat creep up her neck and cheeks. Calm down, little one, don't give into his taunting. Losing your temper will only make it worse, she told herself before she answered. "Having you here asking stupid questions will surely not be of any use."

"Lambert, let's go see how Leo is faring with the wood. I'm sure Triss will call us if she needs our help," Eskel signaled the younger witcher with a tilt of his head.

"We'll be outside if you need anything, child," Vesemir told her before he followed the two other men.

o0o

When the door closed behind them, Triss approached the bed again until her knees touched the frame. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment, focusing on drawing in energy and conforming it to her will. She felt the familiar tingling in her body and spoke the incantation that would trigger the energy to channel and burst out through her hands to wash over the bed.

Her hypnosis spell failed. Geralt's state remained unchanged and she hadn't managed to learn anything. She sat gingerly on the edge of the bed watching him. What could have possibly happened to him? She swiftly drew back the sheets that covered him. Her eyes confirmed what she already knew. There was no physical evidence of whatever had caused his condition. Triss lifted his shirt anyway. The scars marking his skin were old and long healed. Some of them she recognized from their one time together, and she was suddenly overwhelmed by the urge to trace them with her fingers. She fought angrily with his sweat dampened and wrinkled shirt until she removed it entirely and threw it in a corner with a sense of satisfaction.

Geralt remained oblivious to her machinations and she started to feel bad about the one-sidedness of her actions. It reminded her too much of that time, when getting what she wanted hadn't had the desired outcome. She had felt his regret and pain, and his gentle but nonetheless unmistakable rejection that followed, and that broke her heart.

She gently moved a few strands of long white hair plastered to his sweaty forehead. He looked exactly as he did when she had last seen him. He hadn't aged a day. She lifted one of his eyelids, and his vertical pupil reacted to the light. All that was missing was the spark of awareness in those brilliant golden eyes of his that always seemed to see too much. I will get that back no matter what it takes!

Resolute, she stood up again.

She rubbed her hands briefly, and when she let go and pulled them apart from each other, a wave of green light erupted from her palms and was gradually absorbed by Geralt's inert body.

The only effect her rejuvenation spell had was the involuntary jerk of his leg, and Triss growled in frustration. She started pacing along the bed. This requires something more advanced. A ritual spell, she told herself and she grabbed her bag from the floor. She found the crystals she was looking for and placed them on the floor around the bed at equidistant locations to form a perfect triangle. She searched again though the contents of her bag until she found a piece of chalk, which she used to draw an intricate abstract symbol signifying protection near each crystal.

All right, little one. Third time's the charm. Focus. She drew her breath, then started reciting the verses that began the restoration spell. The crystals started to pulse with energy, and soon three threads of swaying light shot up from them. Triss guided their ends to meet into one expanding mass of bright blue light above the bed. Her words continued to pour from her lips like a chant while her hands guided the vibrating energy through invisible threads. She lowered it slowly over Geralt's body and let it envelop him entirely like a cocoon. She exerted herself to keep it in place, and to maintain the balance between how much magical energy she was absorbing and channeling through herself towards the crystals. After a few long moments of tense concentration Geralt finally reacted. He moved, and when he opened his eyes, Triss let the power of the spell dissipate.

"At last, you're awake. How are you feeling?"

"Where am I? Who are you? What-" he asked lifting his upper body.

"Calm down. You're safe," Triss interrupted him, and took a few steps that brought her to the side of the bed. "You don't remember?"

"I remember nothing. What happened to me?"

"I'll explain everything in due time. Let me examine you first."

"Haven't you done that already?" he raised an eyebrow at her after a short glance at his bare torso.

She did her best to maintain a composed facade and ignore his allusion.

"You're awake now. I should make sure your fever is subsiding. But if you rather I not, then I'll leave you alone," she turned to walk away, but before she could even take a step he grabbed her wrist and stopped her.

"Wait. Stay."

Triss turned to face him again, and with confident moves she eased him down on his back to rest against the bear hides covering the wall at the head of the bed. She noticed him eyeing the swell of her breasts visible above her bodice with a thrill, and she gave him a deceptively innocent look. He probably wasn't fooled, as she noticed his expression changed while he watched her intently. She felt her heartbeat increase, but she struggled to control herself. She sat on the edge of the bed and placed her hand on his forehead to feel his temperature. He was warm, but not alarmingly so, and he'd stopped sweating. She placed the fingers of both her hands on his temples, and tried to get a reading, but she couldn't learn anything, so she let her hands fall. Before she could register his movements, Geralt had grabbed her wrists and pulled her closer, making her breath hitch.

"The way you look at me when we talk, I can't explain it, but I have the feeling that we are connected somehow. I know you are important."

Triss held her breath and bit hard on her lower lip, fighting the urge to close the last few inches that separated them. He can't remember, little one. He can't remember you, nor Yennefer, nor the complicated past with its embarrassments and regrets. And what are you going to do about it? Will you be the one to remind him where his allegiances lie, or will you grab this chance and help him form new impressions?

"Geralt, we... we know each other well," she managed to say.

"How well?"

"Intimately well," she returned his intense gaze. Let him understand what he wants from that. It is not a lie.

"Right now you know me better than I know you."

"Then we should rectify that," she leaned in and pressed her lips against his, no longer able to resist the temptation.

"I'm Triss Merigold," she spoke against his lips, "And you are Geralt of Rivia. And I'm happy you're alive."

He smiled against her lips and pulled her gently against him, then captured her mouth more solidly with his own, deepening the kiss. The ancient bed creaked in protest under their combined weight. Triss moulded her upper body against his chest and moved her lips eagerly against his just as eager lips. She felt pleasure explode inside her. She could feel his desire, and it matched her own. No magic tricks this time. No reluctance in his look. No hesitation in his manner. He is kissing you back of his own volition. This time is different, little one, this time it is how it should be.

She felt his hands move down the sides of her body and she moved to straddle him without breaking the kiss. Her hands were now free to roam the planes of his chest and back, and map every taut muscle and every unique trace left by old wounds on his skin. When she broke for air he moved his lips along her jaw and lower on her neck. His stubble scraped her skin and his soft lips and tongue left wet traces that made her tingle and sent shivers down her spine.

She cried his name and fought desperately to pull him closer to her. His hands moved up until they reached her shoulders, and down again pulling down the straps of her dress, exposing her full breasts, which got his complete attention. She twined her hands into the hair at the back of his neck and closed her eyes, enjoying the sensations of his lips and tongue caressing each of her nipples in turn.

She could feel his erection hard between her thighs and she shifted her hips to find closer contact, rubbing her core against him. Jolts of exquisite pleasure coursed through her body and pooled between her thighs, making her arousal reach unbearable heights. She reached between them and fumbled with the laces of his trousers, at the same time distracted by the feel of his hard length on the other side of the soft barrier. She couldn't resist stroking him as she attempted to release him from the soft confines of his clothing.

His hands found their way to her thighs, sliding up under her dress and beneath her undergarments. His agile and very gentle fingers stroked her slick sensitive flesh and made her whimper and tremble with need. She could barely focus as she pulled at his clothes with urgent, unsteady fingers. His breath became rugged when she finally locked her hand around his naked, throbbing erection and positioned it at her entrance. She pressed herself down onto it in one quick move that drew a sharp moan out of her and a deep groan out of him.

Time and space dilated, and her thoughts slowed down. After a moment Geralt moved his hands up her backside. He lifted her up with incremental slowness along his shaft, then moved his hands down her body again, lowering her back onto him until she fully encased him within her. She arched and let her head fall back, and his name slipped from her lips in a strangled moan as she felt him reach deep inside her. She stayed like that, without moving, delighting in the sensation of his girth filling her, wishing that time could stand still and that this connection could last forever. And Geralt let her take her time. After what felt like a long while she lifted her head and opened her eyes, meeting his gaze. He was watching her intently with patient curiosity.

"Triss, you're beautiful." The vibrations of his low, deep voice that always had an arousing effect on her traveled to her core, and his words filled her with indescribable emotions that fueled her desire.

She leaned in and kissed him savagely, parting his willing lips with her tongue and finding his, warm and velvety and responding in kind. His grip on her bottom tightened and they started to move in sync. The delicious friction sent shivers of pleasure traveling along her body, and her gasps and moans echoed through the large room.

No, I don't want this to end, she thought while pleasure threatened to overwhelm her, but her body had a mind of its own and she was soon unable to control herself as pure bliss took hold of her. She cried out and shuddered, collapsing against him, filled with regret that it was over all too soon.

As if reading her mind, Geralt flipped them over before she could even register. Without breaking their contact he kissed her slowly and deeply while the spasms of her body were subsiding. He wasn't done with her yet, she realised as he began to move inside her at a slower pace. She wanted to tell him how she felt, how happy he made her, but couldn't form any coherent words at the moment. With steady moves he brought her to new heights, and this time he followed. When they lay exhausted side by side, she spoke to him while still panting.

"Well, you seem to be at full strength."

"Mhm. I suppose I owe my recovery to you. Thank you, Triss."

After a moment he asked, "Who else is here? I heard noise outside the door while we were…busy."

She was still amazed by how acute the witchers' senses were every time she was reminded of it. She hadn't heard anything. You would have probably not have noticed the building falling apart around you, she smiled to herself.

"Your friends are worried about you," she answered. "Geralt, we thought you were dead. You have been gone for five years. Your witcher brothers found you in the woods outside the fortress. Not three days have passed since. Can you remember anything at all?"

"No. You are a sorceress, right? Can you restore my memory?"

"I'll have to examine you more," she said flirtingly, to which he answered with a crooked smile that sent a jolt of pleasure through her. "I doubt anyone can," she continued in a more serious tone after a short while, "But there's a chance your memory will return on its own."

"How much chance?

"Hard to say. It might help if I knew what caused you to lose your memory."

"I need time to think."

"Time flows slowly at Kaer Morhen. This place is remote, sheltered from the turmoil of the world. It's a good place for thinking. You can take all the time you need. I'm just so happy you're back. When I saw you all the feelings I tried to deny returned. Stronger than ever."

"Triss..." he paused and looked at her, his brows drawing together. "I'm not sure how to respond to this... to you."

"Of course, I shouldn't pressure you," she interrupted and a pang of dread rose in her chest.

"I just feel so..." She noticed the quick flexing of muscles along his strong jaw line as he clenched his teeth, and she stopped herself. "The powers, I'm behaving like a teenager!" She took a deep breath, and forced herself to put on a calm expression. "Lets focus on the present. I've missed you so!"

"Forgive me, Triss, if I've hurt your feelings. I sense that you hoped for a different kind of answer. I can't exactly relate to anything from my past at the moment."

"I don't want to influence your decisions, Geralt, but you need to look ahead and decide for yourself who you are and what you want. Stop trying to look back for answers if there are none to be found. You'll have to judge and form your opinions in the here and now."

"I shouldn't take an interest in the past?"

"Exactly." No, I will not feel guilty for taking advantage of this situation, she answered her consciousness. I would be a fool to deny myself the opportunity of a fresh start.

"Will you show me this place? he asked sitting up and interrupting her thoughts.

"Won't you stay, just a bit longer? With me?" she asked raising herself as well and placing a hand on his shoulder. She bit her lip and prayed he'd noticed the longing more than the desperation in her voice.

He turned towards her and pressed her body down with his own. "I suppose I could get to know you better before I meet the others. Explore the here and now," he told her before his lips met hers.

Triss expected to later meet the other witchers' silent disapproval for her behavior, but she didn't care she was being selfish. Getting what she'd always dreamed of was more important to her than their opinions. She couldn't help but want to keep Geralt to herself for as long as she could, now that she finally had him.

Geralt's attentions pushed her worries from her mind, and Triss abandoned herself to the sensation of his touch on her skin.