Ever since I was a child, I would look at the vast ocean above each night and wished that I could go there. I wished that I could play with those astral bodies just for the fun of it.

'I wanted to be a star...'

My dad used to tell me stories about the stars: each star, he said, was assigned to a different person. I always got excited and would spend countless nights trying to locate which one would be my star.

'I wanted to have the biggest and brightest star...'

The years went by and I found myself being drawn to a different kind of star. It wasn't a celestial body who had piqued my interest was another human being.

It was you who got me interested; you got me excited for no apparent reason. I was drawn to your eyes that were like the same color as the oceans above.

Your eyes were full of life, unlike mine. Although I wouldn't say it to you out loud, I was envious of your eyes; yet I was drawn to them like a moth is to the light. I would find myself drowning whenever I looked at your eyes, trying to unravel the mystery behind them. I couldn't even blink. I couldn't even close my own eyes. I would just stare, like a fool.

'I wanted to be your star.'

Here I was, fascinated by the depths of the windows to your soul...

Stargazers: Kyouko's side by Magister of Discord

Soon, the world didn't matter to me. The whole world could even spin in the opposite direction but I won't care. Those things are not important. For me, you are the only thing that's important.

It was just us two... my beloved fellow knight and I. Nothing could take you away from me. Not even—

Death might find its way to us right now but I wouldn't mind... as long as you are with me...

—when I smiled; your claymore is still buried in my chest but I don't feel anything. Blood is soaking everything from my armor to my tunic to my linen wraps inside but I feel nothing. Pain is nothing but the weakness of the body.

That's it Sayaka… Let me feel the pain… Tell me that you can feel my suffering too… You can let it all out... I won't judge you...

Wrapping my arms around your waist, I whispered promises of my utmost devotion to you and no one else. I vowed to stay by your side, no matter what. I swore to be your protector, although your pride as a knight wouldn't allow it. I was to be your spear as you are to be my sword. We're in this together right from the start... and until the end.

Resting my head on one of your shoulders, I ran my fingers through your turquoise hair, marveling at how soft they were. My hand then rested on the back of your neck and stroked it softly.

That's it… You can fight it… You're stronger than this... I believe in you, you stubborn—

I felt your hands began to shake uncontrollably; they held onto me tighter and I did the same.

Your mask still hid your pretty face and your dark aura only flared but you didn't move from our current position. The blade bit into my flesh, tissue and muscle severed nonetheless, my scarlet uniform absorbing my own living liquid; I welcomed the sensation for I knew that it was the only way to snap my dearest person out of her despair.

"Sayaka..." I whispered once more into your ear. "It sucks to be alone..."

The blade sunk deeper.

- Puella Magi Madoka Magica –

What are you dreaming of? Do you see me in your fantasies as well?

I brushed my knuckles gently on her serene face and watched her chest rise and fall with each breathe. My angel was already sleeping for a few hours, her head resting on my lap, while I was leaning on an oak tree. The sun was about to set and my legs were beginning to complain about its lack of sensation but I couldn't care.

'We'll stay like this forever…'

This was our moment. This was our bond that was not familiar to most people. We were knights and the kind of relationship that could form between us was forbidden; that is if we ever went there. No— we were simply friends, as she had always insisted.

'I'll be together with you…'

From her point of view, our relationship was on a strictly professional level. We were highly-trained individuals who swore to protect the queen's life and place her above everything. We were teammates and good sparring partners as well. She continually sees me as a great and trusted friend but for me... it was the complete opposite.

'We'll share our love someday…'

I was utterly, hopelessly and absolutely in-love with her. But I wouldn't tell her. I never will. Her friendship was more precious to me than my life. I couldn't risk it for a single whim that would never be returned no matter what circumstances we were in. I could never bear to lose her. She means everything to me. Just being with her is— should be enough for me.

'It's a promise…'

I had forced myself to be content with simply having her rest on my lap until she wakes up and we would return to our secret base. We would return back to our own version of heaven...

'Don't forget, okay?'

- Puella Magi Madoka Magica –

"Ne, r-remember when w-we tried t-to play a prank on Homura?" I almost swayed from where I was standing due to blood loss. My strength was fading slowly. "That w-was hilarious r-right?"

"Are you sure about this?" I remember seeing your face looking like you would be taking another one of those gruesome examinations. You had sweat that was starting to form on your forehead. "She'll get mad at us… really mad…"

"What're you afraid of?" I gave a hearty laugh as I clasped one of your shoulders. "You know that Madoka-hime won't let her personal bodyguard hurt you…"

"You're right… but this is Homura we're talking about. The legendary Homu-Homu who survived Walpurgisnacht—"You shrugged my hand off your shoulder and turned away. I was hurt by your action but I wouldn't show it. "Besides, what would the captain say?"

I tilted my head in mock thought. The blonde captain was a Miss-Goody-Two-Shoe and wouldn't allow something improper to happen; especially, if it concerned her knights. "Well, she can stick her pistols up her—" I raised my eyebrow at your frightened expression before I felt impending doom lurking behind me, a really bad omen that would signal something horrible would be happening to me.

"What was that, K-y-o-u-k-o?" I swear, never in my life had I heard such a malicious voice; what was more frightening was the fact that the owner was really calm when she said that. She smiled at me. "…something about my—"

I quickly jumped away in defense, and laughed nervously. "A-as I was s-saying, you got it all wrong… I— we were just playing, r-right Sayaka…?" I tried to nudge you with the hopes that you would play along, but my elbow didn't make any contact with anything solid; it was just air. Sayaka? Where did you go?

To my horror, you were gone in an instant and I was left with our crazy captain who had her pistols pointed at my face. Her eyes glinted dangerously but she kept that calm and collected smile on her pretty face.

"One…" Run you fool!

"Two…" I'm sorry Mami!

"Three…" Oh crap…

Trying to stop my laughter from the recent memory, my insides recoiled and fresh blood collected in my mouth, which I had expelled; the liquid had stained your armor as well. I sighed. "That s-sure brought b-back some m-memories, y-yeah?"

The blade sunk deeper once more.

- Puella Magi Madoka Magica –

"Sayaka… are you cold?" We were trapped inside a cave.

Let me rephrase that:

We were stranded inside a musty and dark cave because one of us was stupid enough to explore the ruins in the middle of a blizzard. Said idiot was vainly trying to ask for the forgiveness of the other while the latter huddled near the pathetic excuse of a fire with a scowl on her pretty face.

"We can share the heat you know…"

"Go away…" Your mood worsened when I tried to wrap my arms around you to keep us warm. You pushed me away; your cheeks were dark from embarrassment. My chest tightened at the thought of taking advantage of you and the possible rejection but I was still famous for being stubborn. With a mischievous look on my face, I tackled you to the ground and attempted to share our body heat once more. "Damn it! Kyouko!"

That did the trick. We rolled on the ground a few times, each trying to gain the upper-hand. Your blush was screaming in protest when I won; and used the chance to lay fully on top of you with our foreheads touching and inhaling the same air. If you would be so kind to change the angle of your head, then I would be able to finally claim your luscious lips. Wishful thinking, anyone?

"I knew you couldn't resist me…"

"S-shut up! You're embarrassing me…"

Of course, I had to be dreaming if that was to come true. You shifted to the side, sending me half sprawled beside you before you snuggled comfortably between my arms. I raised an eyebrow at the childish behavior but I welcomed you nonetheless.

"Aww… is Sayaka shy?"

"Go. To. Sleep. Kyouko."

"Yes ma'am."

I didn't know if I was just fantasizing it but I swear that I heard you let out a content sigh before you fell asleep, nestled in my safe embrace. "I'm sorry… this will be the last time that I will be the source of your troubles…" I whispered in your ear and you quietly hummed in approval as if you were wide awake.

"I'll make you happy, even just once before I die…"

I placed a kiss that was as gentle as the butterfly's wings on your temple. I still feared that you would reject my affection should you awaken. Thankfully, you did not.

'Can you feel me…?'

Nonetheless, my heart still pounded so hard; For once, I thought that it would leap out and open up for you. I inhaled deeply before exhaling quietly. With enough willpower, I rested my head on top of yours after I had whispered my promise to always keep you safe and allowed sleep to finally claim me as well.

I shall be your guiding light Sayaka. You will never despair as long as you are with me…

- Puella Magi Madoka Magica –

"Why couldn't I defeat you? I had trained in the academy for years and you— you were just taken from the streets by the Queen's brother! How could a street-rat beat me?" You were seething with rage. One of your pauldrons was lying and abandoned on the ground while your knight's cape was torn to shreds. I wouldn't dare to forget your eyes back then; they really had the intention to kill me since the first time that we've met. "I won't accept this!" With another battle-cry, you attacked me again.

Your lunge was quickly parried by my spear. I smirked at the pathetic attempt. "You're too kind Sayaka and you hesitate... a lot. If this was a real battle, your pretty little head won't even survive for five seconds!" I roared at you while I directed your next strike to the ground before whirling around to whack you with the blunt end of my weapon.

You crashed to the ground in an undignified state while I sighed at both of our wasted energy. This fight's victor was already decided before it even began but no, you were a complete idiot with an ideal and would never accept the end that easily. You kind of reminded me of myself which was part of why I was attracted to you.

'We were the same…'

Your resilience was another admirable trait. You pushed yourself off the ground and dusted your armor. I grinned at your determination and taunted you with my spear; my stance was low and defensive. Accepting the invitation, you slammed your blade with a different level of ferocity. I was a bit impressed that you still had this much energy even after I had beaten you up for quite some time.

I was also busy arguing with myself if I should let you win to boost your ego or just crush it without heed like always. I enjoyed making fun of you after all, even if my guilt would increase each time I did that; but I had to do it. You'll never learn anything if you'll always win, like I did.

Then again, the only thing that was stronger than my guilt was my addiction to food. Ah… glorious food…

One stray blow distracted me and I earned a knee to the gut and a punch to the face. I smiled inwardly at the combination. Finally! You finally learned something. But not good enough...

"Not bad for a high-born snob."

"Get back here and I'll put you in your place, street-rat!"

"We'll see about that Sayaka…"

I distanced myself to assess the situation but decided that I would teach you the lesson that you always received from me, since I was already getting bored of our fight. With speed that could only be rivaled by light, I charged at you with the mission of finishing the fight as quick as possible—

This will be the last time that I'll do this for you...

—Only to trip over a stray root that was hidden by the tall grass and land in a messy tangle of limbs. Taking advantage of the situation, you sprang into action and positioned your sword a few millimeters from my exposed neck. A smug smile was gracing your features.

"…never hesitate… isn't that right, Kyouko?"

- Puella Magi Madoka Magica –

My legs finally gave out under my dead weight. Mercifully, the sword got separated from my chest which allowed the blood to steadily escape from inside my body. Before I crumpled to the ground, my hand took your mask off your face. I finally caught a glimpse of your eyes.

'I know that I fell in love with those eyes…'

Relief washed over me when I discovered that your eyes were somewhat gaining their clarity again. Whatever that witch had cast on you was quickly wearing off. Praise the Creator from above! Hope seemed to be within reach. If I could extend my fingers, I can surely touch it…

'I know you're in there…'

Oxygen was becoming an issue now. I could also see dark spots entering my vision. The world spun violently and I threw up more of my precious and vital liquid. How much blood had I lost? I don't have much time left… Please wake up, Sayaka…

The world moved in slow motion. I saw you raise your sword once again, the position was right to decapitate me with a single stroke—

I screamed your name with all my might with the hopes that you would somehow hear me. My throat continued to bleed and my lungs gave out but I didn't care. I had one last chance to bring you back. I won't waste it.

—And crashed it a few centimeters beside my head. You shook your head as if trying to clear a really bad memory. After that, you blinked.

Once.

"…Hey…" I managed to say. I winced at the excruciating pain coming from my wounds, in particular, the one that was on my chest. "…good to see…" Your face was almost as pale as mine from the shock; I was tempted to tease you. 'Have you seen a ghost, Sayaka?'

You dropped on your knees and took me in your arms.

Twice.

"…Sayaka…" I wheezed as more blood threatened to drown my lungs. Your tears were suddenly raining down on me as you repeated my name over and over again; my body was almost crushed by yours since you held me impossibly tighter.

Your body was shook almost as hard as your crying.

Thrice.

"…welcome back…" I smiled at you when I realized that you were yourself again. That's the Sayaka that I had learned to hate and love. That's the star that I would want to fall in love with.

Your hand that went to caress my face went to my chest; I managed to hold onto it using my remaining strength. I squeezed your fingers and while you intertwined them.

'I'm sorry that I wasn't able to keep my promise...'

I mouthed my confession to you… Your eyes went wide with shock before you started crying harder. I know that you tried to say something as well; were you about to say the three words that I really longed to hear?

'Are you going to say I love you too?'

Sadly, your words didn't reach my ears.

Did you try to kiss me as well? …Not that it wouldn't matter... I couldn't even be with you anymore...

I looked at your face one last time, trying to memorize every single detail, especially your eyes. I'll never forget those blue eyes…

I smiled at the most important person in my life before everything went black.

My wish came true. Finally, I was able to locate my own star but at what cost? I was no longer with you, my precious star...

Did I make a mistake?

- Puella Magi Madoka Magica –

A/N: Just wanted to try if I could create a semi-AU world where these two would be happy but—

Anyway, this was intended to be a one-shot but I am in the process of writing Sayaka's POV as well. Stay tuned folks!

Magister of Discord out!