Last Man Standing
By Carol M.
Summary: Spoilers for 5x22 Swan Song…Missing scene in the cemetery…takes place in between Sam's swan dive into hell and Castiel's resurrection. Dean ponders victory and his lot in life
Disclaimer: Don't own them, only love them
My two cents for last night's finale. Just now stopped crying from watching the episode (kidding, sort of). Enjoy!
Dean's knees sunk down into the earth and for a sliver of a moment he was lit with the hope that maybe the cage door was still open and that he could accompany his little brother down to hell. But that prospect quickly cooled as his knees settled firmly against the dry dusty dirt of the cemetery. It was starkly silent all around him and the notion that he was now utterly alone in the world hit him like a shotgun blast to the gut leaving a burning, aching wound that sailed up through his whole body and settled at the base of his throat as a hard knot of bawl-inducing agony.
But it was hard to cry when you had no face. Tears pooled and smoldered in his swollen left eye, a mere trickle able to ooze out, but not a lick more. Backed up snot fused with bloody mucus in his nose, making it impossible to take in any air through his nostrils or suck back the offending mess, leaving it to drip down towards his mouth, which was already a mess of blood and shattered teeth. The salt of the tears stung the tender split edges of his mouth as the offending droplets slipped past parted lips onto the tip of his tongue, the salty taste bland against his weakened senses.
He wanted his brother. Hell, he wanted his dad and his mom. Bobby and Cas too. He didn't want to be this broken and bleeding last man standing. He wanted to be celebrating with his family and his friends, not mourning them. He wanted to exhale in dizzying relief and exquisite exhaustion, not inhale tears of heart ripping loss and desolate anguish. Most of all, he wanted to tell Sammy how proud he was of him and how much in awe he was of the man his brother had become.
But all he could manage to feel was a devastating nostalgia for everything that he had ever known or loved in his life that had been ripped away from him. He honestly didn't know if he could live in this brave new world without the people that he held cherished in his heart. Especially Sammy. And frankly, he didn't know if he wanted to.
That's All Folks!