Disclaimer: I don't own Sons of Anarchy or any of the characters.

Ok, first One Shot for Al and Hap. This won't make any sense if you haven't read the other story, "Eight Simple Never's" Just so you know.

There will not be only eight short stories. I just thought it was a catchy name considering the name of the original story. It'll only be bits and pieces of their life, mostly with their kids. The fluffy, smutty stuff that can't really become a story on it's own.

I will post these as chapters in one FF story, simply since it makes it easier for those who want to follow them without getting notifications from any other stories that I write that they're not interested in (that's the kind of thing that tends to bug me at least).

They will not be chronological, simply since I don't come up with ideas in a chronological order. I'm trying to make it clear in the story of the general situation, i.e. when it takes place and other things that can be of importance. But I will also give some background info that I think might help in the A/N. If you have any questions just send me a message or ask in the review if you like.

I am a sucker for reviews so please let me know what you think.

In this first one, Agnes and Aedan are Two and I think that's pretty much all you need to know.

1: Vernie

They pulled back into the Tacoma lot, they had been there for three days, officially to plan a meet but they also had some gun business to take care of. Happy was tired as hell and just wanted the day to end so he could get into bed. He got off the bike and picked up the phone to call Al. He hadn't been able to do it since early the day before.

It took her some time to answer, but he finally heard he voice. "Hallo."

"Hey Katze, how are things at home?"

"Fuck you!" That was all she said and then she hung up the phone. He stared at his phone. What the fuck was that about?

"Hey, what's up?" Juice asked.

"I have no fucking idea. She said 'fuck you' and then she hung up."

Juice laughed. "Seriously? What did you do?"

"Nothing. I fucking called her, that's all I did."

"When's the last time you called?" Chibs asked.

"Early yesterday, but that's not it." He started to scan the lot to find her.

"Sure?"

"Yeah." She didn't give a shit about that. If she wanted something she called him and if not she didn't and was just pleased if he called her when he felt like it. She was easy that way. Then there were other, not so easy, ways about her.

He finally found her, "Doc!"

"Yeah?" Tara said and came up to him.

"Can you give Al a call and find out what the fuck is going on."

"What?"

He explained what had happened and she picked up her phone and walked to the side. Both Tara and Gemma had followed on this trip. Some of the other Old Ladies as well and he had asked Al if she wanted to come. She said that she would rather poke her eyes out then hang around as arm candy and since they didn't have a baby sitter anyway that pretty much settled it.

He saw Tara on the phone and suddenly she turned around and looked at him. He knew that face, he was in trouble and he had no idea what the fuck this was about.

She came up to him again with a slight smile on her lips. "Chickenpox, both of them." Juice, Tig and Bobby started to laugh. He didn't laugh. She would fucking kill him when he came home.

"Shit!" He desperately tried to figure out how to deal with this. Mona was visiting her son in Dallas and sending over one of the prospects would only piss her off. Not that they would be any help what so ever. He finally made up his mind.

"Does your Old Lady know that you are calling me like this?" That was her opening line with a very sexy, seductive voice.

"No, she doesn't. I need a favor." He said with a laugh.

"Anything, you know that. If you get up her ass I'll even give you ten free hour at Hilda's house of Pain." He laughed again.

He no longer wondered why Al had two such different women as her closest friends. They were simply the most loyal people she had found and there was nothing they wouldn't do for her, or she for them. Today he was especially grateful for that. Mia would help her and that might save his ass as well.

"Considering the situation I'm lucky if I even get a hug in the foreseeable future."

"I'm reaching for my shotgun here, Hap. What did you do?"

"I'm in Tacoma. I'm stuck here for another three days at least, probably four, and both kids have chickenpox." The line was silent for a while and then she started to laugh. Out loud. For a very long time. It was nice to see that other people found his imminent death amusing.

She finally managed to pull herself together. "Tell her I'll be there in less than three hours."

"I would, but the only thing she's said to me on the phone today is 'fuck you'."

Mia laughed again. "Geez, Hap. I'll take care of it, don't worry."

"You're my favorite person in the world right now. Seriously, thank you. I owe you a big one."

"I want Tig's big one so tell him to save some for me."

"You know it." He hung up and turned to Tig. "She wants your big one so save some for her."

"Mia?" Tig said with a huge smile.

"Yeah." He shook his head at Tig's glowing eyes. "I don't get why you two don't just hook up."

"Nah, not our style."

"Honey, don't scratch." She said again, she must have said that three thousand times in the last twenty four of hours.

Suddenly Aedan started to cry again and she knew what that meant. In a matter of seconds Agnes was crying as well. When they were little she could pick them both up but they were just over two years old, she couldn't carry them both at the same time at least not for as long as they wanted her to carry them.

As icing on the cake the doorbell rang. She looked at them both and tried to decide which one to pick up and finally decided on Aedan. He was usually the one who needed most physical contact. With him on her shoulder and Agnes - crying her eyes out - in her hand she went to the door.

She tried to let go of Agnes hand to open it, something that resulted in what could only be described as a primal scream. Aedan got scared and started to cry even worse as well. She was totally prepared to just kill herself, or Happy, the stupid motherfucker who left her for a full week with two kids in the middle of their terrible twos.

When she saw who it was she almost started to cry.

"Mia!"

"Oh dear." Mia said, stepped inside and picked up Agnes. "Come here girl!"

As if she was a fairy godmother, fifteen minutes later the kids were in the couch, eating an ice cream and watching a movie. Both covered it some lotion that Mia had bought along the way.

"Get into the shower, you look like shit." She said to Al.

"What are you doing here?"

"Hap called, said it was an emergency and that he would owe me a big one."

"Tig's big one?"

"Oh, honey, you know me so well."

She walked up to Mia and threw her arms around her. "Thank you, really. I was about to kill myself."

"You know I love you more than anyone, but frankly honey; you smell." Mia said before giving her a kiss on the cheek. "Take a shower. I got this covered."

Alice got into the shower and when she finally relaxed she cried out of pure relief. After drying herself up she felt a lot better and called Hap.

"Feeling better?" He said when he answered the phone, she could hear the teasing tone.

"Yes. Thank you. And I'm sorry that I considered killing you."

"I had a feeling you did." He laughed. "That's why I called the crazy godmother."

"I love you."

"Oh, I should call her more often. How are they?"

"Not great, fever and they've got spots all over. Aedan even have them in his mouth."

"Fuck! Babe, I'm sorry."

"Don't worry, you called in the big guns. We'll be fine."

"Ok, just..."

"Don't worry. I'll call you tomorrow."

"Do that. And tell Crazy that Tig is very eager to honor the favor."

Al laughed. "I'll tell her. Think about me when you jerk off."

"Always." He said and hung up the phone.

The next morning Happy got out from the room and found fresh coffee and pancakes. Gemma had made the breakfast.

"Did she call?"

"Yeah." He said while pouring the coffee.

"How were they?"

"Not great, fever and Aedan even had spots in his mouth."

"Oh, poor sweetie." Gemma said while shaking her head. "You need to make this up to her."

"I will."

"Really fucking good, Hap." She had her hand on her hip and was waving her finger in front of his face.

"I will!"

"I'll think of something." She said and walked away.

"Is she angry at you as well?" Lorca said.

"Oh, yes."

"You couldn't just pick some skanky Crow Eater that no-one gave a fuck about?" He laughed.

"You have no idea how many times I've thought the very same thing."

Later that day, when they got out of church, Gemma was waiting for him.

"Here." She said and handed him a bag.

"If this is an engagement ring, I already have one and she doesn't want it."

"It's not. It's bath bombs."

"What?"

"Bath bombs, she loves them and this is her favorite kind." He started at her, what the fuck was a bath bomb? Gemma saw his confusion. "Pour her a hot bath, she likes it really hot, and throw that in. She'll love it." He kept staring at her. "You'll thank me later, baby." She said while patting his cheek.

It didn't sound to hard, he could probably pull that off. He wasn't sure about keeping the bag - smelling like a teenage chick - in his backpack though. Maybe if he put it in a plastic bag?

This better be worth it the thought while carrying it to his room at arms length, ignoring the others laughs.

Three days later Alice was about to kill herself again and Mia seemed to have the same feeling. They took shifts, rubbing lotion, carrying and making huge pots of coffee. Even Buster seemed to be prepared to jump off a cliff.

"I'm never having kids." Mia declared.

"I said the same thing." Al said while they were lying in the couch with one sleeping kid each on their stomachs. "And you encourage Hap to make me break all my never's. Just want to remind you of that."

"Stupid of me. Very stupid. Next time some guy asks for the ultimate torture, I'll send him to a room full of sick kids." She carefully got out of the couch and put down Agnes on it. "I need to pee."

Alice got out of the couch as well and went into the kitchen to prepare the coffee machine. The kids seemed to be over the worst, their temperature was down and the spots were starting to heal up. But she wanted to be ready anyway, just in case.

She went back to the living room. It had never been messier. They had finally given up on trying to sleep in their beds and had moved all the covers and pillows in there. The table was full of stuff, dirty dishes, lotions, empty ice cream buckets and what seemed like hundreds of empty coffee cups. But she didn't have the energy right now. It would just have to stay that way.

It was six 'o clock in the morning when he opened the door. Buster met him and he gave him a pat.

"Hey boy. Are they sleeping?"

When he got into the living room he almost burst into laughter. It had never looked worse and it was obvious that it, and the the people in it had been through hell.

Al and Agnes were lying head to head in the couch, Al was on her stomach with Aedan sleeping on her back and Agnes was holding her hand. Both the kids was in only their diapers and they had red glowing spots on their entire bodies.

On the floor beneath the couch on the thick carpet was Mia, she looked dead. He shook his head and got upstairs and poured a bath for Al and dropped the bath bomb in it.

He started by waking up Mia. "Hey." He whispered and she opened her eyes.

"Oh, thank God. You're back! What time is it?"

"Six."

"Wow, they've slept most of the night."

"Go to bed. Tig won't be back until this afternoon."

"Good, there is no way in hell I'd be able to have sex now anyway."

"Geez, you must be in really bad shape."

"You have no idea." She said and dragged herself upstairs.

He looked at Al. Even while sleeping she looked tired and her hair was greasier than he had ever seen it. He carefully stroke it out of her face.

"Katze."

"Mmmmmhhhm." She mumbled.

"I poured a bath for you. Get up there, I'll take the kids." He lifted Aedan off her back and she sat up.

"A bath?"

"Yeah. Get up there. I'll take care of this." He gave her a kiss and she went upstairs, looking like a zombie.

He carried both kids to their room and cleaned up the living room. He noticed that the coffee machine was loaded so he turned it on.

Finally he poured a cup of coffee and walked upstairs and into their bathroom.

"I didn't know I had more of these bath bombs." She said with a smile.

"You didn't. Gemma bought them for you and ordered me to pour you a bath the second I got home." He handed her the coffee.

"Oh. I love Gemma." She looked better. She put the cup on the edge of the bathtub and stretched out her arms. "Come."

"What?"

"Take off your clothes and get in here."

"The kids..." He waved towards the door.

"Leave the door open, Buster will come and get us if they wake up. Or go get the baby monitor."

He went and got the monitor, took off his clothes and got in behind her.

"I'm sorry." He said again. He felt like a complete asshole for leaving her with this.

"Hmm. Well, you'll smell like flowers the entire day now. So that'll make it a little better." She said while rubbing her back against him.

"Flowers?" He muttered and started to stroke her body and kissed the side of her face. Her back was rubbing against his dick and he was getting horny.

"Missed me?" She mumbled before pressing her lips against his.

"Mhmm."

"You're not getting any." She said with a teasing smile. "You need to get me off before I even start to consider forgiving you."

He laughed but did as she asked. Slid his hand along her body and in between her legs. As he started to circle her clit she leaned her head on his shoulder and moaned. He kissed her neck and jawline while alternating between rubbing her clit and pushing his fingers inside of her. When she was starting to get wet he moved his fingers back and forth, from her clit and inside of her in long strokes.

A few minutes later she turned her head towards him. "Lips." She mumbled and he kissed her and by the time he noticed her getting closer he grabbed a nipple with his other hand a pinched, hard. Worked every time.

He loved that he knew every single sensitive spot on her body, every move that she loved and how to get her to come in the matter of minutes if he wanted to. Something he loved even more was that she knew all of those things about him as well.

She relaxed in his arms but then turn around, putting her legs around his waist.

He chuckled. "Thought I wasn't getting any."

"Shut up, I changed my mind." She mumbled, reached down in between them to put him at her entrance and sank down with a sigh.

She put her arms around his neck, kissing him. "I've missed you and your pussy." He said between kisses.

"My pussy has missed you." She answered. "I've mostly cursed you."

"Really?" He said while moving his hands up her back and finally grabbing her hair, pulling it down to tilt her head back. He started kissing and biting her neck.

"Oh, God!" She moaned. "The bed, please."

They got up and he lifted her up and carried her to the bedroom. She went down on all four and he rammed into her from behind.

When Alice woke up, she was alone in the bed. She turned around and saw that it was twelve 'o clock.

She found Hap and the kids in the living room, he was rubbing lotion on Aedan's back while Agnes was humming on a song. Spirited Away was on the TV and Aedan was looking at it.

"Hey, where's Mia?"

"Still sleeping."

"You cleaned." She looked around in the living room, it was a spotless as it only was when he had cleaned it.

"Yeah." He shook his head. He hated mess, she knew that and most of their fights was about her not picking up after herself.

She sat down in the couch and picked up the still humming Agnes. "Hey sweetie." She said and gave her a kiss. "How long did they sleep?"

"Eight." He said while handing her the lotion. "Haven't done Kitten yet."

Alice picked it up and started to rub the lotion on Agnes. "What are you singing hon'?"

Agnes turned around and smile. "Spider!"

"Itsy bitsy spider?" She asked and Agnes nodded vigorously. She gave her another kiss and then leaned over and kissed Aedan as well. "You two are so lucky that you are soooo cute."

When she was done she turned her legs up on the couch and leaned her back against Hap's arm with Agnes still on her stomach. He moved his arm so she leaned against his side instead and when she looked up at him, he gave her a kiss.

"I'm really sorry."

"I know, don't worry. I'm fine now. And you cleaned, and made me relax. And next time when they're ill I'm going to New York." She added the last part with a smile. She turned her head and sniffed on his arm. "Not even mentioning you have the most lovely flowery scent. If you go to the clubhouse smelling like that we'll call it even."

"No, I'm not doing that." He shook his head firmly.

"Lavender and lilac. It's considered quite manly in some parts of the world."

He gripped her hair. "Not in this part." He kissed her. "I would ask you to marry me but I have a feeling I might get stabbed for that today."

"You might. You could bring me a cup of coffee."

He gave her another kiss, got up and put Aedan down on the couch. Aedan looked down on her since she was now lying on the couch on her back and he was sitting next to her head. He leaned over and gave her snotty kiss on her cheek. "Ove ou." He said and turned his attention back to the TV.

Somehow that made it worth it. "Love you too, Kiddo."