The Exam
It was a warm day in the summer when Monica and Tess met
near a lake in the park. They wanted to talk about their next assignment.
"Where is Andrew? I thought he would be here with us, too," asked the
younger angel with long auburn hair.
"He will be right here. Look, there he comes!" said Tess, Monica's supervisor and friend. Tess pointed in the direction where Andrew, the Angel of Death, was
coming from. He was wearing a white shirt and blue jeans. His long blond hair was blowing in the wind.
"Why did you take so long, Angel Boy?" asked Tess, who had been getting a little bit impatient.
Andrew smiled as he remembered his last assignment. "I'm sorry that I'm so late, but I had to take Mr. Gray home and he didn't want to go before he had seen and held his Grandson."
There was a moment of silence and Monica spoke
up. "Who is our next assignment?" Both her and Andrew
looked at Tess questionally.
"Her name is Terri and she is sitting over there," Tess looked at the other shore of the sea, where a young girl was sitting. She was about 18 years old.
Terri had long blond hair and was wearing a pair of jean shorts and a blue T-shirt. She looked like someone who was concentrating so hard that she couldn't see the rest of the world at the moment.
Andrew regarded the teenager with surprise, "Terri Miller!" he said more to himself then to the others.
"You two know each other?" asked Monica.
Andrew shook his head. "No, she doesn't know me, but I know her. I took her brother home last year. He
was 14 years old and had cancer. She was at the hospital everyday until the end. Her brother told me how much they
loved each other and how proud he was of her."
Even when he was the Angel of Death, taking home children was always the hardest part of his job.
"She was a very strong young lady during the last days of her
brother's life. Why does she need angels, Tess?"
Tess looked first at Terri and then back to Monica and Andrew. "Did either one of you ever hear about something called 'fear of failure'?
"Yes, that's when someone is afraid of a situation and thinks the he will fail at it. But I can't believe that
this can be the reason why someone needs angels.
I mean, it's normal that someone is afraid to fail an exam or something like that," Monica replied.
"Oh no, no Monica. You shouldn't underestimate this theme." Andrew had cut Monica off short. "You are right about it being normal that people are afraid to fail an exam or similar situation, but to some people this fear is so big that it can be dangerous. These people would rather die then to experience failure at something. I had assignments in which I had to take home children and teenagers
that committed suicide because they were so afraid of the reaction of the people around them, like their parents and friends, when they failed an exam." Andrew got a little bit down when he remembered.
Andrew shook his head sadly. "I think I can guess why I am here."
"That's the reason why WE are here. She is your assignment Andrew, because there is something else going on in her life
that only you can help her with. Monica and I will be in
the background most of the time, but we will help you when
you need us," said Tess.
Andrew looked a bit skeptical. "What is it that only I can help with? How do you mean by that?"
Tess seemed to know what it was, but she answered only indirectly. "She has to tell you that by herself and, in between, you will be her math teacher," Tess said with a smile.
"No! No way! I hate math. Can't I be any other kind of teacher?" protested Andrew.
"That's what the Father wants you to be ! Do you want to discuss His plan with Him?" replied Tess with a voice and a look that didn't accept another objection.
Andrew knew this look very well and wisely shook his head.
Next morning in Terri's school:
Andrew walked into the main office to sign in. "You are the substitute teacher for Ms. Kolbe ?" It was more a statement than a question. "Nice to meet you !" said Mr. Kossi, the director of this school, to Andew. Mr. Kossi was about 50 years of age and didn't have much hair left.
"Yes, I am. My name is Andrew. It's nice to meet you, too. I am glad to be here." Andrew smiled. Even though he hated math, he loved children or as in this case, teenagers. "Can you tell me a little bit about the class ? I have my first
lesson after this break," Andrew added.
"Well, 12b is a great class. Most of them are good kids. You shouldn't have many problems with them."
"Someone told me that Terri Miller is in this class. Is this correct?" asked Andrew and hoped that Mr. Kossi would tell him something about her.
"You know her?" Mr. Kossi was surprised.
"Well, I wouldn't say, I know her, but I did meet her last year." explained Andrew.
"Oh, she is the best student in her class, but she is a little bit shy. She doesn't talk much about herself to others,
only to her best friend Judith. You don't have to worry about her,
she will stay the best in her class for graduation."
Mr. Kossi seemed proud of her, but Andrew thought, 'That is exactly the problem. Everybody thinks that she will make it and tell her that. Nobody sees what a burden this is to her.'
When his mind snapped back to the present, he said "Thank you, but I think that she needs is someone who *will* worry about her!" Before Mr. Kossi could give him an answer, Andrew added "Well, I have to go." With that he walked to his first lesson. On his way to the classroom, he asked himself the whole time how he should handle the math lesson, especially in a 12th grade class!
But a voice inside him told him 'Trust Me ! You will know what you need to know when you need to know.' With this he entered the room to find about 20 students there.
Most of the students talked about the last weekend and some of the others tried
to finish their homework. While Andrew looked over the class, he noticed a young
girl that seemed as if she hadn't had enough sleep during the last weeks. It was
Terri. She sat in the third row. Her friend, Sara, sat next to her and was
trying to talk to her, but she didn't respond much. Andrew decided to talk to
her after the lesson, but first he had to give cover the math! When the bell
rang and all the students sat at their desks, he said: "Hi, you can call me
Andrew. I'm your substitute teacher for the next weeks."
The lesson was over after forty-five minutes. Andrew was happy that it was over.
Even though he did a good job, math wasn't his favorite. When all students were
out of the room, he saw that Terri was still there. She looked at him, but when
she saw that he noticed this, she started
to get her things and leave. 'Something about this Andrew seemed really strange,' she thought as
she packed her things.
"Terri? Is everything alright ?" Andrew asked when he walked over to her.
"Yes! Sure! What could be wrong?!" was her angry answer. After this she felt
sorry for snapping at him, because Andrew seemed to be a nice guy, but she couldn't to talk to him,
to anybody. 'He wouldn't understand it', she thought.
"Hey! It was only a question." Andrew tried to show her, that he wasn't really
offended, but Terri didn't notice this. "You look as if you didn't get enough
sleep." When the teenager didn't say anything
in response to this, Andrew kept talking. "Is
anything wrong?"
Terri's eyes widened. 'Who is this guy and why is
he so eager to help me?' she wondered, but all she
said was... "I'm sorry, I'm all right and I have to go to my next lesson." With this, she
took her bag and walked out of the room. At the door she stopped and looked
back. "Have we met each other before? I have the feeling that I know you from
somewhere."
Andrew smiled a little bit, because he knew that she was a very sensitive person
and somehow she seemed to feel who he was. But the only answer he gave her was,
"When you need someone to talk ... I am here for you. No matter what the subject
is." She nodded and went out of the door.
Andrew sat down with a sigh on the table. "Father, I know that we are running
out of time. Please help me so that I can help her before it's too late."
"How was it ?" Monica's voice brought him back from his thoughts.
"Do you mean Terri or my first lesson? " he asked with a smile.
"Both!"
"Well, the lesson was better than my attempt to talk with her." Monica liked
Andrew. She knew how much Andrew loved humans, especially children and
teenagers. He liked to help them even when his normal job was to bring them home
because he was the Angel of Death. The hardest part of this job to him was to
bring young people home before their time. And so he was glad to have the chance
to help her.
"I was thinking about how I could help her. The longer she keeps this to
herself, the harder will it be for us to help her. Monica, if she doesn't talk
soon, then..." he didn't finish, but Monica knew what he meant.
"Well, what's your job here ?" he asked Monica
"I am a counselor. Maybe she'll use this offer and come for a talk."
"I hope so," Andrew replied hopefully.
After 4 hours, it was time for lunch. Terri met her friend Judith. They wanted go
together to lunch. Judith was a girl Terri's age. She had short blond hair and
was wearing a blue T-shirt and white jeans. The two had known each other since their childhood. They were best friends.
"Hi Terri! How are you?" called Judith when she saw Terri.
"Hello Judith ! All OK, I only need a little bit of sleep." answered Terri with a
sad smile. She studied everyday tuntil late into the night and, when she got in
her bed, she couldn't sleep well. All the dates and formulas appeared in her
dreams. More than once she woke up during the night.
"Did you see the new math teacher ?"
"What ? ... What ? Sorry, I didn't hear you." Terri apologized.
"You should sleep more ...then study! You are one of the best ... you don't need
to worry so much about the exams. But we've had this discussion before."
"And you know my answer. I don't want quarrel with you. What was your first
question?" Terri didn't want talk about this again. Nobody seemed to understand
her and she was too tired for this.
"Ok, when you don't want to talk ... My question was 'Did you see the new math
teacher?'. I can't remember his name."
"You mean Andrew ?"
"Yes, Andrew, that was the name. Did you see him ?"
"Yes, I had my first lesson with him."
"And... ? Is he as cute as everybody says?"
"He seems to be OK .... for a teacher."
"Only OK ?! Come on!"
"OK, OK, he IS cute." answered Terri and she smiled for the first time in ages.
"Oh, you can look by yourself. There comes now. Look!" Terri pointed to the door
through which Andrew entered with Monica.
"Oh Andrew, do you think I could get a Mocca Latte here?" asked Monica when they
entered the dining hall. Andrew laughed because he had expected this question.
"Monica, you know you shouldn't drink so much coffee. By the way, I did promise
Tess to keep an eye on you."
"I want only ONE cup. Please, Andrew!"
Andrew gave her a skeptical look and started to
ask her if one cup would somehow turn into another and
another when a voice shouted strenly from behind them.
"MISS WINGS !!!!" Monica turn around, frightened, and looked at a very angry
Tess.
"He... Hello Tess!" stammered Monica.
"Didn't I tell you that you only get a cup of coffee 3 days of the week?! And
today is NOT ONE OF THOSE DAYS!!"
"Tess..."
"Don't ' Tess' me !! You two have to work !!!" She turned to Andrew. "Well, how it's going ?" The three were now sitting at the table.
"I'm afraid it's not going too well," answered Andrew with a sad look at Terri.
"Hey Terri!! Don't turn around, but I think he's looking over here ! By the
way, who is the woman with him ? His girlfriend ?" Judith smiled secretively.
Terri turned around and said to her friend "I think that is the new counselor !"
Terri ignored the first sentence. "Judith, I am sorry, but I have to go now. I'll
see you later." With one last glance toward Andrew's table, she walked out of the hall. Judith looked
questioningly after her for few seconds, but then she began to eat again.
Back over at Andrew's table, Tess was still
asking questions. "What do you mean by 'not so good'?! She did recognize you, didn't she ?" asked
Tess.
"Yes, I think so. She said I seemed familiar to her. Anyway, I wish she would
talk with me. Tess, can't you tell me what her second problem is? Maybe that
could be a way to get through to her," Andrew pleaded.
But Tess said: "No, the Father said that she has to tell you this by herself,
when she is ready. You have to wait!"
"Tess..."
"No ! Don't 'Tess' me." At this moment, Tess looked like she was listening to
something that only she could hear. Then she spoke to Andrew. "Go to her ! She
is outside and needs you ! ... And now to you, Miss Wings !" With this, Andrew
walked out of the hall.
Andrew walked across the campus. He had his hands in his pockets as he walked
out of the campus to a park that was of the other side of the street. He found
her seated on an embankment. She looked like she had been crying. He went over
to her and sat on the bench.
"What's happened ?" he asked gently.
"You again? Why can't you leave me alone? I did say I am OK. Why do you keep asking me?"
'What was it with this Andrew?' asked Terri herself.
"Because I am worried about you. You look like someone who is very unhappy and I
want to help you, but I can only help you if you'll talk with me," Andrew said
with all the love and comfort that he could show her.
"I am happy!!!" Terri didn't seem as angry as this morning, but she still wasn't
ready.
'How can I talk with a teacher about this' she thought. 'He wouldn't understand
.. just like all the others hadn't understood.'
She decided to change the topic. "You didn't answer my question this morning! Do
we know each other ?" she looked at him.
Andrew had to smile. "What do *you* think ?" he asked her.
"I don't know. It may sound crazy. I don't actually believe that I saw you
somewhere before, but I still have had this strange feeling ever since you
appeared here. It's like it was back ... then ..." Terri couldn't finish the
sentence.
"Then ?" asked Andrew after he waited a moment. He didn't want to push her too
much, but he felt that this had something to do with her second problem.
"Nothing!! I'm sorry, but I have to go." said she and ran away.
"Terri!! Wait!!" called Andrew, but she didn't stop. He walked sadly back to the
school.
Andrew didn't see Terri the rest of the day. It was like she tried all day
*not* to cross his path. After school he met with Monica and Tess.
"How was it, Monica ?" asked Tess.
"Well, she stood by the door of my office this afternoon, but, before I could
say anything to her, she was gone." While Tess and Monica talked to each other,
Andrew listened to another voice.
He closed his eyes and murmured, "Oh no, please !"
Monica and Tess looked at him. "What is?" asked Monica with a worried glance at
him, but they both sensed the answer.
When Andrew opened his eyes, he had tears in them. "Terri! I have to go to her.
She wants to try ...". He couldn't finish..
Tess took Monica'ss and Andrew's hands and said " She has free will and all we
can do now is to pray for her. And you, my Angel Boy, you have to go now!"
When he walked down the street he was no longer wearing the T-Shirt and jeans.
Now he was wearing his beige suit and glowed in a light that came from God.
"Com'mon, Angel Girl, Let us pray that she will make the right decision," said Tess to Monica.
About 2 hours ealier:
When Terri came home, she walked into her room and started to study again like
she had done during the last 5 months. After half an hour, her mother came home
and entered Terri's room. Alexa was 43 years old and worked in a marketing
company. She had long blond hair and was wearing a white blouse and a beige
skirt. "Honey!" she shook her head "are you studying again?!"
"Oh, hello mom! I didn't hear you coming!" Terri ignored her mothers reproach,
because she said it almost every day.
Alexa gave Terri a hug. "Come down Honey, I will make us something to eat."
Terri shook her head. "I am not hungry, mom. Besides, I have to read this book first. I have only 3 weeks until the exam."
"Terri, you can overdo it with the studying. You have been doing this EVERY
afternoon for 5 months until late into the night! You have to have fun along with school work. You need a balance!" pleaded Alexa.
"But I won't pass my exam!" called Terri, angrily. "You don't understand!"
"Terri, you are one of thetop students!! You will make it! I know this! Even if
you don't make the top score on the exam, you will make it." Alexa didn't know
what else she could say to her daughter.
"Mom, I have to be the best. Everybody else would be happy if I failed the
exam."
"That's not important. It's not important what others think about this. The only
thing that is important is what you think!" Alexa gave up. Terri could be so
stubborn. She left the room.
"Nobody understands me!" Terri went to her bed and cried. "Why don't they all
understand me ?" After an hour she was still crying. In her mind, an idea
reappeared that had first come almost one month ago. 'If I died, then I wouldn't
have to experience failure and see how everybody was happy about it.' When she
thought of this for the first time, it had scared her very much but, at this
moment, it looked like a good last resort. When she thought about this some
more, she remembered that her mother still had sleeping pills in the bathroom.
"I'd sleep and never wake up!" With this idea, she walked into the bathroom.
After a few seconds, she came back. She locked her door and went to her bed. In
the one hand, she had the tablets and, in the other, a glass of water.
Andrew was standing behind her, but Terri couldn't see him. Andrew had tears in his eyes. These were his hardest assignments, when he had to witness a suicide.
"Father, please! Give me a last chance to talk to her! This can't be what you
want? Please!?!" He prayed and hoped that he would get a 'YES' as answer, but
got only a 'NOT YET'.
When Terri looked at the sleeping tablets in her hand, she got a strange feeling
again, that feeling that she had had shortly before her brother died, and that
she never could forget. She waited a few seconds "Well, that doesn't matter now,
either."
Andrew closed his eyes, he had too often witnessed something like this, and it
broke his heart every time. At this moment, he heard a voice that said to him,
'OK, now!' Andrew smiled and send a big thank you to his Father.
"Terri? Do you believe in angels ?" spoke a voice behind her.
Terri was startled and looked around. "Andrew ?! What are you doing in my room ?
And how did you get in? Let me alone!!" Terri didn't know if she should be angry
or afraid. She couldn't figure out how someone could be in her room or how her
MATH TEACHER got in.
"You didn't answer my question! Do you believe in angels?" asked Andrew again.
"I don't believe in God. Why should I believe in angels, then?" called Terri.
"Please, leave me alone!!!" she pleaded. Terri started to cry.
Andrew looked at her with all the love and compassion that he had for the one
that will soon go home. "But he believes in you. That's the reason why he is
sending you an angel." Andrew smiled and he started to glow. A light surrounded him that Terri had never seen before. It was ... it was like ... love. That was
the best description that she found for herself. It was beautiful.
"Wha... Wha... What? An angel? You ... you ... you are an angel??" She could
barely speak.
"Yes! Yes, I'm an angel. To be exact ... I'm an Angel of Death." Terri got scared when she heard that last sentence and took a step away from him.
"Don't be afraid!" Andrew tried to get her to calm down. He went over and sat on
the bed with her. Something in Andrews eyes told Terri that he spoke the truth.
"Why are you here?" she asked.
"Did you forget already what you wanted to do few minutes ago?" he asked and
looked at Terri's hand. "Why did you want do this?" he asked and put a hand on her shoulder.
"Because ... because ..." at this moment, it all seemed so stupid. She could
continue speaking.
Andrew spoke gently. "Because you are afraid of the exam. Right ? You are afraid that you could fail it ?" All that she could do was to nod, but she couldn't look into his eyes any
longer. She was too ashamed.
"It isn't the failure itself, but the reaction from my *friends*," she tried to explain. "Everyone wants me to pass, and everyone thinks I will. It was like I'd be
letting them down if I'm not 'the best'."
He lifted her chin so that she had to look at his eyes. "Terri ...," he spoke
with all his heart "... you don't know if you will fail it or not. Your chances
are better than those of most other students. If you kill yourself NOW, then you
will never, never know what might have happened. And believe me, this is much
harder than to go through the exam. You will ask yourself *forever* whether or
not you would have made it and nobody... nobody will be able to give you an
answer."
"But I couldn't live with the *shame*, to hear all the stupid comments of the
others." she cried harder.
"Oh Terri! You have more friends then you think. They would never do something
like that. They love you and care about you. Sure if it happened there would be
people who would try to hurt you. But you can 'LIVE
through it' because there
is ONE Friend who would help you through it, Who never will hurt you and Who would never stop loving you if you
failed anything. This
one Friend is waiting for you, hoping that you will call Him and ask for His
help !"
"Who?" asked Terri with a questioning gaze
"God!" answered Andrew. "He has been waiting for you for a long time. He loves
you!! He wants to help you to get through this so much, no matter what is
waiting for you. But, he can only help you if you ask Him. Will you do this?"
Andrew asked.
"Yes, yes I will do it. I am so sorry for what I wanted to do and sorry that I
gave up. Please God, forgive me and help me. Please!" Terri cried harder than
before.
Andrew hugged her and stroked her hair. He was so glad that she changed her
mind. He sent a 'Thank you Father' to heaven. "It's gonna be alright. Let it
out," he whispered in her ear. Terri felt the love and peace that came to her
now.
When she had calmed down, she sat up and looked
at him. "You look like you have a question." she told
him.
Andrew nodded. "This afternoon ... in the park ..." he started slowly.
"Yes?"
"You said something like 'It's the same as it was then ...' What did you mean by
that?" asked Andrew.
Terri's face got red. "I never before told anyone this. My brother died a year
ago. I was in the hospital with him every day." Andrew saw that her eyes filled
again with tears.
"You can tell me." He took her hand in his to comfort her.
"About two days before he died ... I had the feeling that someone else was in
the room. I couldn't see anybody, but I could feel it. It was really crazy!! I
thought that it was my imagination, but I could never forget it. It made me so
afraid! I did never tell anyone about it. They would think I'm crazy." After she told Andrew about her experience, there was silence in the room for a moment. As Terri remembered those days, she got a new idea and so did Andrew. He guessed what Tess meant when she talked about Terri's second problem.
Terri was the first that spoke, "You said you are an Angel of Death ?! You were
the one in that hospital room. Weren't you?" She looked so hopeful.
"Yes, I was." Andrew smiled. "Some people can sense it when an angel is in the room and
you are one of them. It's a very special gift!" Andrew explained.
"That's why I got it again when you entered the classroom ?!" Terri was thrilled
that she finally had an answer to a question that had bothered her for so long a
time.
"Did Marc know about you?" she asked
"Yes, he did. We talked the last two nights about many things. He told me how much he
loved you and how proud he was to have you for his big sister."
After they talked for another hour, Terri felt asleep. Then Andrew left. For the
first time since the death of her brother, she was at peace.
4 weeks later:
Andrew stood in front of Terri's school.
"What are you doing here, Angel Boy?" asked Tess.
"Hi Tess! Well, I want to say good-bye to Terri and I want to know if she make it or not."
Tess smiled. "Well, then why don't you ask her
this yourself?" Tess pointed to the school door. When
Terri noticed Andrew she ran to him with a big smile
on her face.
"Andrew!!!! I passed it!!!!!" she called out joyfully.
"Congratulations!!!!!" called Andrew Tess and Monica at the same time. They were
so happy for her.
"I'm proud of you, Baby!!" said Tess.
Terri smiled. "I thank you and God for everything !!"
"At the beginning, I had the feeling that I wouldn't make it. I had forgotten everyting. "
"And? What did you do?" asked Tess.
"I asked God to help me, like Andrew said to do. And God did!!"
Terri was happy. "Time to say good bye ?" asked Terri when she saw that Andrew
looked a little bit sad. Andrew nodded. "Will I see you again?" she asked.
Andrew smiled and took her hand "Yes! One day I will come back. But, there will be a long time before that."
"Well, please don't take it personally, but I hope that there are many more
years before we will meet again." She joked, but she was sad that the three, especially Andrew, had to leave now.
Terri, Andrew, Tess and Monica, laughed and a white dove flew over the campus."
The End
It was a warm day in the summer when Monica and Tess met
near a lake in the park. They wanted to talk about their next assignment.
"Where is Andrew? I thought he would be here with us, too," asked the
younger angel with long auburn hair.
"He will be right here. Look, there he comes!" said Tess, Monica's supervisor and friend. Tess pointed in the direction where Andrew, the Angel of Death, was
coming from. He was wearing a white shirt and blue jeans. His long blond hair was blowing in the wind.
"Why did you take so long, Angel Boy?" asked Tess, who had been getting a little bit impatient.
Andrew smiled as he remembered his last assignment. "I'm sorry that I'm so late, but I had to take Mr. Gray home and he didn't want to go before he had seen and held his Grandson."
There was a moment of silence and Monica spoke
up. "Who is our next assignment?" Both her and Andrew
looked at Tess questionally.
"Her name is Terri and she is sitting over there," Tess looked at the other shore of the sea, where a young girl was sitting. She was about 18 years old.
Terri had long blond hair and was wearing a pair of jean shorts and a blue T-shirt. She looked like someone who was concentrating so hard that she couldn't see the rest of the world at the moment.
Andrew regarded the teenager with surprise, "Terri Miller!" he said more to himself then to the others.
"You two know each other?" asked Monica.
Andrew shook his head. "No, she doesn't know me, but I know her. I took her brother home last year. He
was 14 years old and had cancer. She was at the hospital everyday until the end. Her brother told me how much they
loved each other and how proud he was of her."
Even when he was the Angel of Death, taking home children was always the hardest part of his job.
"She was a very strong young lady during the last days of her
brother's life. Why does she need angels, Tess?"
Tess looked first at Terri and then back to Monica and Andrew. "Did either one of you ever hear about something called 'fear of failure'?
"Yes, that's when someone is afraid of a situation and thinks the he will fail at it. But I can't believe that
this can be the reason why someone needs angels.
I mean, it's normal that someone is afraid to fail an exam or something like that," Monica replied.
"Oh no, no Monica. You shouldn't underestimate this theme." Andrew had cut Monica off short. "You are right about it being normal that people are afraid to fail an exam or similar situation, but to some people this fear is so big that it can be dangerous. These people would rather die then to experience failure at something. I had assignments in which I had to take home children and teenagers
that committed suicide because they were so afraid of the reaction of the people around them, like their parents and friends, when they failed an exam." Andrew got a little bit down when he remembered.
Andrew shook his head sadly. "I think I can guess why I am here."
"That's the reason why WE are here. She is your assignment Andrew, because there is something else going on in her life
that only you can help her with. Monica and I will be in
the background most of the time, but we will help you when
you need us," said Tess.
Andrew looked a bit skeptical. "What is it that only I can help with? How do you mean by that?"
Tess seemed to know what it was, but she answered only indirectly. "She has to tell you that by herself and, in between, you will be her math teacher," Tess said with a smile.
"No! No way! I hate math. Can't I be any other kind of teacher?" protested Andrew.
"That's what the Father wants you to be ! Do you want to discuss His plan with Him?" replied Tess with a voice and a look that didn't accept another objection.
Andrew knew this look very well and wisely shook his head.
Next morning in Terri's school:
Andrew walked into the main office to sign in. "You are the substitute teacher for Ms. Kolbe ?" It was more a statement than a question. "Nice to meet you !" said Mr. Kossi, the director of this school, to Andew. Mr. Kossi was about 50 years of age and didn't have much hair left.
"Yes, I am. My name is Andrew. It's nice to meet you, too. I am glad to be here." Andrew smiled. Even though he hated math, he loved children or as in this case, teenagers. "Can you tell me a little bit about the class ? I have my first
lesson after this break," Andrew added.
"Well, 12b is a great class. Most of them are good kids. You shouldn't have many problems with them."
"Someone told me that Terri Miller is in this class. Is this correct?" asked Andrew and hoped that Mr. Kossi would tell him something about her.
"You know her?" Mr. Kossi was surprised.
"Well, I wouldn't say, I know her, but I did meet her last year." explained Andrew.
"Oh, she is the best student in her class, but she is a little bit shy. She doesn't talk much about herself to others,
only to her best friend Judith. You don't have to worry about her,
she will stay the best in her class for graduation."
Mr. Kossi seemed proud of her, but Andrew thought, 'That is exactly the problem. Everybody thinks that she will make it and tell her that. Nobody sees what a burden this is to her.'
When his mind snapped back to the present, he said "Thank you, but I think that she needs is someone who *will* worry about her!" Before Mr. Kossi could give him an answer, Andrew added "Well, I have to go." With that he walked to his first lesson. On his way to the classroom, he asked himself the whole time how he should handle the math lesson, especially in a 12th grade class!
But a voice inside him told him 'Trust Me ! You will know what you need to know when you need to know.' With this he entered the room to find about 20 students there.
Most of the students talked about the last weekend and some of the others tried
to finish their homework. While Andrew looked over the class, he noticed a young
girl that seemed as if she hadn't had enough sleep during the last weeks. It was
Terri. She sat in the third row. Her friend, Sara, sat next to her and was
trying to talk to her, but she didn't respond much. Andrew decided to talk to
her after the lesson, but first he had to give cover the math! When the bell
rang and all the students sat at their desks, he said: "Hi, you can call me
Andrew. I'm your substitute teacher for the next weeks."
The lesson was over after forty-five minutes. Andrew was happy that it was over.
Even though he did a good job, math wasn't his favorite. When all students were
out of the room, he saw that Terri was still there. She looked at him, but when
she saw that he noticed this, she started
to get her things and leave. 'Something about this Andrew seemed really strange,' she thought as
she packed her things.
"Terri? Is everything alright ?" Andrew asked when he walked over to her.
"Yes! Sure! What could be wrong?!" was her angry answer. After this she felt
sorry for snapping at him, because Andrew seemed to be a nice guy, but she couldn't to talk to him,
to anybody. 'He wouldn't understand it', she thought.
"Hey! It was only a question." Andrew tried to show her, that he wasn't really
offended, but Terri didn't notice this. "You look as if you didn't get enough
sleep." When the teenager didn't say anything
in response to this, Andrew kept talking. "Is
anything wrong?"
Terri's eyes widened. 'Who is this guy and why is
he so eager to help me?' she wondered, but all she
said was... "I'm sorry, I'm all right and I have to go to my next lesson." With this, she
took her bag and walked out of the room. At the door she stopped and looked
back. "Have we met each other before? I have the feeling that I know you from
somewhere."
Andrew smiled a little bit, because he knew that she was a very sensitive person
and somehow she seemed to feel who he was. But the only answer he gave her was,
"When you need someone to talk ... I am here for you. No matter what the subject
is." She nodded and went out of the door.
Andrew sat down with a sigh on the table. "Father, I know that we are running
out of time. Please help me so that I can help her before it's too late."
"How was it ?" Monica's voice brought him back from his thoughts.
"Do you mean Terri or my first lesson? " he asked with a smile.
"Both!"
"Well, the lesson was better than my attempt to talk with her." Monica liked
Andrew. She knew how much Andrew loved humans, especially children and
teenagers. He liked to help them even when his normal job was to bring them home
because he was the Angel of Death. The hardest part of this job to him was to
bring young people home before their time. And so he was glad to have the chance
to help her.
"I was thinking about how I could help her. The longer she keeps this to
herself, the harder will it be for us to help her. Monica, if she doesn't talk
soon, then..." he didn't finish, but Monica knew what he meant.
"Well, what's your job here ?" he asked Monica
"I am a counselor. Maybe she'll use this offer and come for a talk."
"I hope so," Andrew replied hopefully.
After 4 hours, it was time for lunch. Terri met her friend Judith. They wanted go
together to lunch. Judith was a girl Terri's age. She had short blond hair and
was wearing a blue T-shirt and white jeans. The two had known each other since their childhood. They were best friends.
"Hi Terri! How are you?" called Judith when she saw Terri.
"Hello Judith ! All OK, I only need a little bit of sleep." answered Terri with a
sad smile. She studied everyday tuntil late into the night and, when she got in
her bed, she couldn't sleep well. All the dates and formulas appeared in her
dreams. More than once she woke up during the night.
"Did you see the new math teacher ?"
"What ? ... What ? Sorry, I didn't hear you." Terri apologized.
"You should sleep more ...then study! You are one of the best ... you don't need
to worry so much about the exams. But we've had this discussion before."
"And you know my answer. I don't want quarrel with you. What was your first
question?" Terri didn't want talk about this again. Nobody seemed to understand
her and she was too tired for this.
"Ok, when you don't want to talk ... My question was 'Did you see the new math
teacher?'. I can't remember his name."
"You mean Andrew ?"
"Yes, Andrew, that was the name. Did you see him ?"
"Yes, I had my first lesson with him."
"And... ? Is he as cute as everybody says?"
"He seems to be OK .... for a teacher."
"Only OK ?! Come on!"
"OK, OK, he IS cute." answered Terri and she smiled for the first time in ages.
"Oh, you can look by yourself. There comes now. Look!" Terri pointed to the door
through which Andrew entered with Monica.
"Oh Andrew, do you think I could get a Mocca Latte here?" asked Monica when they
entered the dining hall. Andrew laughed because he had expected this question.
"Monica, you know you shouldn't drink so much coffee. By the way, I did promise
Tess to keep an eye on you."
"I want only ONE cup. Please, Andrew!"
Andrew gave her a skeptical look and started to
ask her if one cup would somehow turn into another and
another when a voice shouted strenly from behind them.
"MISS WINGS !!!!" Monica turn around, frightened, and looked at a very angry
Tess.
"He... Hello Tess!" stammered Monica.
"Didn't I tell you that you only get a cup of coffee 3 days of the week?! And
today is NOT ONE OF THOSE DAYS!!"
"Tess..."
"Don't ' Tess' me !! You two have to work !!!" She turned to Andrew. "Well, how it's going ?" The three were now sitting at the table.
"I'm afraid it's not going too well," answered Andrew with a sad look at Terri.
"Hey Terri!! Don't turn around, but I think he's looking over here ! By the
way, who is the woman with him ? His girlfriend ?" Judith smiled secretively.
Terri turned around and said to her friend "I think that is the new counselor !"
Terri ignored the first sentence. "Judith, I am sorry, but I have to go now. I'll
see you later." With one last glance toward Andrew's table, she walked out of the hall. Judith looked
questioningly after her for few seconds, but then she began to eat again.
Back over at Andrew's table, Tess was still
asking questions. "What do you mean by 'not so good'?! She did recognize you, didn't she ?" asked
Tess.
"Yes, I think so. She said I seemed familiar to her. Anyway, I wish she would
talk with me. Tess, can't you tell me what her second problem is? Maybe that
could be a way to get through to her," Andrew pleaded.
But Tess said: "No, the Father said that she has to tell you this by herself,
when she is ready. You have to wait!"
"Tess..."
"No ! Don't 'Tess' me." At this moment, Tess looked like she was listening to
something that only she could hear. Then she spoke to Andrew. "Go to her ! She
is outside and needs you ! ... And now to you, Miss Wings !" With this, Andrew
walked out of the hall.
Andrew walked across the campus. He had his hands in his pockets as he walked
out of the campus to a park that was of the other side of the street. He found
her seated on an embankment. She looked like she had been crying. He went over
to her and sat on the bench.
"What's happened ?" he asked gently.
"You again? Why can't you leave me alone? I did say I am OK. Why do you keep asking me?"
'What was it with this Andrew?' asked Terri herself.
"Because I am worried about you. You look like someone who is very unhappy and I
want to help you, but I can only help you if you'll talk with me," Andrew said
with all the love and comfort that he could show her.
"I am happy!!!" Terri didn't seem as angry as this morning, but she still wasn't
ready.
'How can I talk with a teacher about this' she thought. 'He wouldn't understand
.. just like all the others hadn't understood.'
She decided to change the topic. "You didn't answer my question this morning! Do
we know each other ?" she looked at him.
Andrew had to smile. "What do *you* think ?" he asked her.
"I don't know. It may sound crazy. I don't actually believe that I saw you
somewhere before, but I still have had this strange feeling ever since you
appeared here. It's like it was back ... then ..." Terri couldn't finish the
sentence.
"Then ?" asked Andrew after he waited a moment. He didn't want to push her too
much, but he felt that this had something to do with her second problem.
"Nothing!! I'm sorry, but I have to go." said she and ran away.
"Terri!! Wait!!" called Andrew, but she didn't stop. He walked sadly back to the
school.
Andrew didn't see Terri the rest of the day. It was like she tried all day
*not* to cross his path. After school he met with Monica and Tess.
"How was it, Monica ?" asked Tess.
"Well, she stood by the door of my office this afternoon, but, before I could
say anything to her, she was gone." While Tess and Monica talked to each other,
Andrew listened to another voice.
He closed his eyes and murmured, "Oh no, please !"
Monica and Tess looked at him. "What is?" asked Monica with a worried glance at
him, but they both sensed the answer.
When Andrew opened his eyes, he had tears in them. "Terri! I have to go to her.
She wants to try ...". He couldn't finish..
Tess took Monica'ss and Andrew's hands and said " She has free will and all we
can do now is to pray for her. And you, my Angel Boy, you have to go now!"
When he walked down the street he was no longer wearing the T-Shirt and jeans.
Now he was wearing his beige suit and glowed in a light that came from God.
"Com'mon, Angel Girl, Let us pray that she will make the right decision," said Tess to Monica.
About 2 hours ealier:
When Terri came home, she walked into her room and started to study again like
she had done during the last 5 months. After half an hour, her mother came home
and entered Terri's room. Alexa was 43 years old and worked in a marketing
company. She had long blond hair and was wearing a white blouse and a beige
skirt. "Honey!" she shook her head "are you studying again?!"
"Oh, hello mom! I didn't hear you coming!" Terri ignored her mothers reproach,
because she said it almost every day.
Alexa gave Terri a hug. "Come down Honey, I will make us something to eat."
Terri shook her head. "I am not hungry, mom. Besides, I have to read this book first. I have only 3 weeks until the exam."
"Terri, you can overdo it with the studying. You have been doing this EVERY
afternoon for 5 months until late into the night! You have to have fun along with school work. You need a balance!" pleaded Alexa.
"But I won't pass my exam!" called Terri, angrily. "You don't understand!"
"Terri, you are one of thetop students!! You will make it! I know this! Even if
you don't make the top score on the exam, you will make it." Alexa didn't know
what else she could say to her daughter.
"Mom, I have to be the best. Everybody else would be happy if I failed the
exam."
"That's not important. It's not important what others think about this. The only
thing that is important is what you think!" Alexa gave up. Terri could be so
stubborn. She left the room.
"Nobody understands me!" Terri went to her bed and cried. "Why don't they all
understand me ?" After an hour she was still crying. In her mind, an idea
reappeared that had first come almost one month ago. 'If I died, then I wouldn't
have to experience failure and see how everybody was happy about it.' When she
thought of this for the first time, it had scared her very much but, at this
moment, it looked like a good last resort. When she thought about this some
more, she remembered that her mother still had sleeping pills in the bathroom.
"I'd sleep and never wake up!" With this idea, she walked into the bathroom.
After a few seconds, she came back. She locked her door and went to her bed. In
the one hand, she had the tablets and, in the other, a glass of water.
Andrew was standing behind her, but Terri couldn't see him. Andrew had tears in his eyes. These were his hardest assignments, when he had to witness a suicide.
"Father, please! Give me a last chance to talk to her! This can't be what you
want? Please!?!" He prayed and hoped that he would get a 'YES' as answer, but
got only a 'NOT YET'.
When Terri looked at the sleeping tablets in her hand, she got a strange feeling
again, that feeling that she had had shortly before her brother died, and that
she never could forget. She waited a few seconds "Well, that doesn't matter now,
either."
Andrew closed his eyes, he had too often witnessed something like this, and it
broke his heart every time. At this moment, he heard a voice that said to him,
'OK, now!' Andrew smiled and send a big thank you to his Father.
"Terri? Do you believe in angels ?" spoke a voice behind her.
Terri was startled and looked around. "Andrew ?! What are you doing in my room ?
And how did you get in? Let me alone!!" Terri didn't know if she should be angry
or afraid. She couldn't figure out how someone could be in her room or how her
MATH TEACHER got in.
"You didn't answer my question! Do you believe in angels?" asked Andrew again.
"I don't believe in God. Why should I believe in angels, then?" called Terri.
"Please, leave me alone!!!" she pleaded. Terri started to cry.
Andrew looked at her with all the love and compassion that he had for the one
that will soon go home. "But he believes in you. That's the reason why he is
sending you an angel." Andrew smiled and he started to glow. A light surrounded him that Terri had never seen before. It was ... it was like ... love. That was
the best description that she found for herself. It was beautiful.
"Wha... Wha... What? An angel? You ... you ... you are an angel??" She could
barely speak.
"Yes! Yes, I'm an angel. To be exact ... I'm an Angel of Death." Terri got scared when she heard that last sentence and took a step away from him.
"Don't be afraid!" Andrew tried to get her to calm down. He went over and sat on
the bed with her. Something in Andrews eyes told Terri that he spoke the truth.
"Why are you here?" she asked.
"Did you forget already what you wanted to do few minutes ago?" he asked and
looked at Terri's hand. "Why did you want do this?" he asked and put a hand on her shoulder.
"Because ... because ..." at this moment, it all seemed so stupid. She could
continue speaking.
Andrew spoke gently. "Because you are afraid of the exam. Right ? You are afraid that you could fail it ?" All that she could do was to nod, but she couldn't look into his eyes any
longer. She was too ashamed.
"It isn't the failure itself, but the reaction from my *friends*," she tried to explain. "Everyone wants me to pass, and everyone thinks I will. It was like I'd be
letting them down if I'm not 'the best'."
He lifted her chin so that she had to look at his eyes. "Terri ...," he spoke
with all his heart "... you don't know if you will fail it or not. Your chances
are better than those of most other students. If you kill yourself NOW, then you
will never, never know what might have happened. And believe me, this is much
harder than to go through the exam. You will ask yourself *forever* whether or
not you would have made it and nobody... nobody will be able to give you an
answer."
"But I couldn't live with the *shame*, to hear all the stupid comments of the
others." she cried harder.
"Oh Terri! You have more friends then you think. They would never do something
like that. They love you and care about you. Sure if it happened there would be
people who would try to hurt you. But you can 'LIVE
through it' because there
is ONE Friend who would help you through it, Who never will hurt you and Who would never stop loving you if you
failed anything. This
one Friend is waiting for you, hoping that you will call Him and ask for His
help !"
"Who?" asked Terri with a questioning gaze
"God!" answered Andrew. "He has been waiting for you for a long time. He loves
you!! He wants to help you to get through this so much, no matter what is
waiting for you. But, he can only help you if you ask Him. Will you do this?"
Andrew asked.
"Yes, yes I will do it. I am so sorry for what I wanted to do and sorry that I
gave up. Please God, forgive me and help me. Please!" Terri cried harder than
before.
Andrew hugged her and stroked her hair. He was so glad that she changed her
mind. He sent a 'Thank you Father' to heaven. "It's gonna be alright. Let it
out," he whispered in her ear. Terri felt the love and peace that came to her
now.
When she had calmed down, she sat up and looked
at him. "You look like you have a question." she told
him.
Andrew nodded. "This afternoon ... in the park ..." he started slowly.
"Yes?"
"You said something like 'It's the same as it was then ...' What did you mean by
that?" asked Andrew.
Terri's face got red. "I never before told anyone this. My brother died a year
ago. I was in the hospital with him every day." Andrew saw that her eyes filled
again with tears.
"You can tell me." He took her hand in his to comfort her.
"About two days before he died ... I had the feeling that someone else was in
the room. I couldn't see anybody, but I could feel it. It was really crazy!! I
thought that it was my imagination, but I could never forget it. It made me so
afraid! I did never tell anyone about it. They would think I'm crazy." After she told Andrew about her experience, there was silence in the room for a moment. As Terri remembered those days, she got a new idea and so did Andrew. He guessed what Tess meant when she talked about Terri's second problem.
Terri was the first that spoke, "You said you are an Angel of Death ?! You were
the one in that hospital room. Weren't you?" She looked so hopeful.
"Yes, I was." Andrew smiled. "Some people can sense it when an angel is in the room and
you are one of them. It's a very special gift!" Andrew explained.
"That's why I got it again when you entered the classroom ?!" Terri was thrilled
that she finally had an answer to a question that had bothered her for so long a
time.
"Did Marc know about you?" she asked
"Yes, he did. We talked the last two nights about many things. He told me how much he
loved you and how proud he was to have you for his big sister."
After they talked for another hour, Terri felt asleep. Then Andrew left. For the
first time since the death of her brother, she was at peace.
4 weeks later:
Andrew stood in front of Terri's school.
"What are you doing here, Angel Boy?" asked Tess.
"Hi Tess! Well, I want to say good-bye to Terri and I want to know if she make it or not."
Tess smiled. "Well, then why don't you ask her
this yourself?" Tess pointed to the school door. When
Terri noticed Andrew she ran to him with a big smile
on her face.
"Andrew!!!! I passed it!!!!!" she called out joyfully.
"Congratulations!!!!!" called Andrew Tess and Monica at the same time. They were
so happy for her.
"I'm proud of you, Baby!!" said Tess.
Terri smiled. "I thank you and God for everything !!"
"At the beginning, I had the feeling that I wouldn't make it. I had forgotten everyting. "
"And? What did you do?" asked Tess.
"I asked God to help me, like Andrew said to do. And God did!!"
Terri was happy. "Time to say good bye ?" asked Terri when she saw that Andrew
looked a little bit sad. Andrew nodded. "Will I see you again?" she asked.
Andrew smiled and took her hand "Yes! One day I will come back. But, there will be a long time before that."
"Well, please don't take it personally, but I hope that there are many more
years before we will meet again." She joked, but she was sad that the three, especially Andrew, had to leave now.
Terri, Andrew, Tess and Monica, laughed and a white dove flew over the campus."
The End