Title: Name
Chapter: 1/1
Character: M-21, small appearance of Rai
Summary: M-21 wakes up in the middle of the night and struggles with the meaning (or lack of) of his name.
Forcing his eyes to close as M-21 tossed and turned in bed was useless. It was the third consecutive night that he had no been able to sleep through. With an annoyed sigh, he rose from his bed and placed his still warm feet into the slippers.
Tonight, his thoughts had been the most relentless. Usually he'd wait and drift back to sleep, but he couldn't stop thinking. At least now that he was on the balcony, his thoughts weren't confined. He tilted his head towards the glow of the moon and breathed deeply, waiting for sleep to weigh down his eyes.
The Union had been quiet for weeks. Though he enjoyed the peace, it was difficult to feel at ease. Not that he was at ease now. His mind didn't seem keen to take advantage of this opportunity. He couldn't stop thinking about his name.
M-21. M-21. M-21. Immediately, he clenched his fists until his knuckles were white. Crombel's voice rang in his head over and over, callling—no, spitting his name as if it were a foul taste. He lowered his head into his hands and massaged his temples in hopes of driving that bastard out of his head.
Modified. Monster. M-21 clenched his teeth. The werewolf heart that dwelled inside him beat harder and faster as those two words perpetually crashed into him like waves pulled by the moon's gravity. He had to quell the anger and fought the urge to transform; it would have only proven those things.
Modified. Monster. Meaningless.
Unlike the names that the children had, his carried no weight or meaning. Parents lovingly belabored over the meaning of their child's name. It was their hope for the child to be happy, lucky, smart, beautiful, strong—the first gift as a welcome to this world. If this was the Union's idea of a welcome, what a fucking joke. He snorted as he thought that this was a label for the scientists to organize their experiments. He was plainly a serial number.
Straightening his posture, he le the moonlight wash over him. The rhythm of his heart steadied and he closed his eyes. At first, it was a blur, but then the image of his smiling comrades flashed before him. Were they smiling out of pity? He moved his hand over his heart and clutched at the fabric of his shirt.
It was this name that they used to call him. It was this name that he shared with them. They were deemed as failed experiments in the eyes of the scientists. The word failure was a hard stain to clean. But their resilience proved the opposite. They had persevered with dignity until the very end. They wouldn't allow the Union scum to ever take that away. Thanks to his comrades, he was able to laugh in that barren institution.
Ridding himself of this name wasn't the answer, because that meant breaking him promise to them. Still, knowing Crombel named him had his fingers tightly gripping the banister. The sound of light footsteps interrupted his brooding and he tensed. Raizel looked at M-21, and then down at his fingers. Oh, right. It'd be best to loosen his death grip before he had to deal with a broken banister and a peeved Frankenstein.
How long had Raizel-num been there? Was he so consumed by this thoughts that he didn't feel his presence? M-21 nodded to greet him, and they stood in silence.
"M-21," he said. He faced the Noblesse who was gazing at the stars. After waiting for a few moments, he had the feeling that Raizel-nim wasn't going to continue. So, he arced his head to the crescent.
When he called him, his voice was fir yet reassuring, igniting the strength within him just like before. But so did Tao and Takeo. Tao would sometimes sing his name. Takeo, though, always offered a smile when he said his name. With Frankenstein, his tone was strict, but if M-21 listened closely, he could hear the praise.
"How you live is up to you," Rai broke the silence, gaze still fixed at the sky.
The M-21 now has changed and grown to be so much more. He's the school bodyguard, the Ahjussi, a member of RK-5.
"Your life," Raizel shifted to meet gray orbs, "is your own." And so was his name. There was weight in it; it bore the past and is now bearing the present and the future.
A yawn overcame him. Finally. He followed the Noblesse inside, who returned to his seat on the couch, book alread in hand. M-21 cleared his throat and said, "Thank you." Before waiting for a response, he quickly returned to his room.
Those words that haunted him before echoed one more time. Modified. Monster. However, there was no denying both; this was something that he'll have to struggle with for a while.
But not meaningless. He had the rest of his life to give "M-21" the meaning it deserves.
[Disclaimer: Noblesse and its characters do not belong to me.]