"I can't frakking believe it." Kara was almost choking on her outrage. "You won Hot Dog's last Picon cigar? You?"

Lee picked up the cigar in question and rolled it between his fingers, smiling. "Looks like it. I got the most votes."

Kara obviously still couldn't believe that either, even though she'd checked the vote counting herself.

Three times.

"Hot Dog said he wanted the cigar to go to whoever the pilots thought was the most reckless pilot in the fleet. And those frakwits voted for you!"

Lee smirked as he searched through his pockets for his lighter. "I believe the exact term was 'bad-ass' pilot, Kara."

Kara glared at him. "Stop being so frakking smug. They must have gone out of their tiny minds, voting for you! You don't even breathe without checking the regs."

Lee lit his cigar. "Well, I have committed mutiny."

Kara bristled immediately. "I disobey orders all the time."

Lee raised an eyebrow. "Ever held a gun to your superior officer's head?"

Kara scowled, and he smirked at her. "Thought not."

He took a drag of the cigar and deliberately blew the smoke in her direction. Her eyes narrowed angrily.

"I stole a valuable military asset. All. By. Myself."

"Well, I broke the president out of the brig, and organized a conspiracy with half the crew to do it."

Kara's cheeks went so red he was half afraid she was going to explode. "Well, I've still been in hack more times than you have!" Her eyes dared him to claim otherwise.

Lee smiled lazily. "It's not the quantity, Kara, it's the quality. Have you ever been marched down there in handcuffs?"

"Yes," snapped Kara triumphantly.

"Have you ever been left in handcuffs all night?"

"Well - no."

"Ever been placed on parole for days and had two marines escort you back to the brig at the end of each shift?"

"No." Kara's scowl was thunderous now.

Lee stood up and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Let's face it, Kara," he said sympathetically, "you're losing your touch."

Her eyes went dark with fury and he leaned in for the final blow.

"Maybe you ought to think about getting that stick out of your ass sometime."

He gave her a final pat on the shoulder and strolled out of the rec room, grinning at the howl of outrage behind him.

She'd make him pay for that comment, and pay dearly, but it would be worth every minute.

And he still had his Picon cigar.

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Author's Note: Pure and utter silliness, but it popped into my head and wouldn't go away until I wrote it :-)