Disclaimer: I own nothing of Harry Potter of Percy Jackson and their attaching plots, franchises, fan bases, and characters.
Acknowledgment: The concept for this story came to me from reading "Again and Again" by Athey, whom I have never spoken to, and "How to Win Friends, Influence People" by Sparrowette, whom I have also never spoken to. Both are brilliant and talented authors with wonderful creative stories that I recommend you read.
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Chapter 1
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There are only so many ways that you can peacefully wake up in a different world completely starkers and barren of any possession you may have had on you at the time leading up to this that wasn't inherently magical.
Harry had the distinction of being one of these few people with this rather rare and before here-to ability to do so. Granted the lack of screaming outraged busy bodies helped, this was also noting that there were busy bodies around, just none screaming or outraged. Go figure, if you were going to wake up nude in a completely different world barren of any notably non-magical valuable possessions, make sure you did so on a nude beach during the summer. Apparently no one cares if your dead or not.
Of course Harry had had no way of knowing this at the time when he woke up with sand in places it had no right being and clapped eyes on a small group of men not so dis-similarly proportioned from his Uncle Vernon and screamed like an unashamed little girl. Surely he was in hell, that the bastard he spoke to before landing here had lied to him.
Course all of this was smoothed over when he got an eye full of the pretty, in a homely could use some make-up way, brunet. She actually got him thinking that maybe this was less a hell world and more a lack of clothes world, like they hadn't been invented or something. Still a horrifying thought.
It really hadn't helped that Harry didn't speak a word or their language and the translation spells he knew words to (with no actual experience to back them up granted), all only translated written words. Of course you needed a wand to do them, and despite all the suddenly sound fantasy logic of new worlds automatically equalizing mysteriously unrealized powers surfacing..., he still didn't have a wand and this mental powers thing wasn't happening. Bugger.
Of course trying to play the amnesia card was harder than one would think without liberal use of an obliviate charm, and the only idiot he had experience with that knew nothing was literally a crawling ball of drooling unhelpfulness, thank you once again Lockhart for nothing. On the bright side since he knew nothing about any of this anyway with no identification and no finger prints bringing anything up in the system anywhere there wasn't much they could do with him.
He was given by some small mercy clothes, which might have been cast-off rags but were still somehow better than Dudley's cast-offs. Ignoring that however the simple fact that they had clothes was actually a tear worthy event. That they actually found someone who could speak his language was awesome and that England still existed was just – well wait that wasn't that big of a deal, especially after all the shit that the people in that country put him through.
The only good news about all of this was that if clothes, and English, and England, existed here then so too must magic. Since he wasn't undesirable number one on this world, at least he had better not be, there would be no reason he couldn't use one of the galleons in Hermione's, well his now, mokeskin pouch there had to be a few floating around in there somewhere, to buy a new wand.
Since you didn't exactly need a wand to apparate without a license and ignorance of the law had been a viable excuse before Harry only too promptly used it to pop over to the Leaky Cauldron or at least where it was supposed be. Either he really needed to get his eyes checked and his fantasy new world superpowers had activated on this belief or there was an Optometrists office where the Leaky Cauldron should be.
Harry took a look inside just in case being a new world and all different from his own and all this wasn't actually the entrance to the magical world. There was a margin of error of course, maybe this really was a place for new glasses, or it was really a secret facility that would only allow you into the connected magical world if you could see passed its seemingly bland normalness to witness the impossible magical stuff behind – yeah no it was really an Optometrists office.
Harry spent a good portion of his very early morning for an appointment and after giving out his aunt and uncle's address and information from his old world and having it confirmed. Which you know, only proved this was a hell world of some kind. That of all the people that could exist in two different worlds and at the very same address, it would be Petunia and Vernon Dursley, this was a truly horrifying thought.
After that it was mostly smooth sailing, he got a new prescription, which was actually his first one ever. Turns out he was farsighted which kind of explained why he could spot a snitch across the pitch but only ever catch it with his eyes closed. Actually no it didn't, but it sounded totally cool and if Hermione had known about it maybe he could have gotten out of all those forced study groups slash finals cram sessions.
Not like they mattered anyway, that bastard Tom always waited until the end of the year during what usually was around finals time to attack him, his friends, his family, stupidly. But! It all turned out to be a convenient and dastardly plot on his behalf to sabotage Harry's grades! Merlin's sagging scrotum why had he never seen this before?! Why had no one else seen this before?!
By mid-day Harry was wandering around London like a crazy person new prescription in his loaned trouser pocket. Hands clenched in his already wild hair with the heels of his palms grinding into his eyes as his glasses bounced precariously on his nose with his every step.
He was processing not only the fact that Tom Riddles entire quest to kill him was actually a convoluted plot to keep him from ever graduating Hogwarts, that he succeeded in by the way, and also that he couldn't apparate. More specifically it wasn't that he couldn't apparate it was that he couldn't apparate to any magical place he knew of.
There was also something very wrong with his head or magic or something and not in the, I have cool new and before-to undiscovered abilities, kind of way. In fact to prove this point, when apparition failed to take him anywhere even remotely magical, Harry did the most dangerous thing he could think of and apparated. Not with a destination in mind but an idea of a place in mind. You'd think, Holy Grail of magic right? Or possibly cringe at the thought of the terrible splinching that was warned about during the training classes, or something along those lines.
Not Harry Potter, nope, ok so he hadn't actually thought of any of that. Rather he thought more along the lines of: more let's go to the most magical place in the whole world. Being that Harry had some rather outrageous amounts of luck on his side, neither happened. Nope, and that was the story of how Harry Potter ended up at Disneyland in Orlando, Florida.
Of course the kiddie screams that were trailing costumed people, and the nearby rides actually scared Harry, himself so much so, that by sheer instinct alone he dashed forward blindly. With unmatched skill and speed he ducks to avoid spell fire that didn't exist, looking cool and suave if he did say so himself, right into a wall, that collapses for no real foreseeable reason.
It didn't stop there though, because he was Harry freaking Potter, no, it had to go on-in embarrassing and horrifying details that shall never be spoken of. Needless to say the equally horrified and lawsuit conscious Disney Park manager and staff, hooked him up with a week all park pass and six day and five night hotel package for free. They even 'reimbursed' him the loss of his cloths, glasses and his poor "churro swallowed and subsequently fired to ashes" wallet.
Harry was only too eager by this point to take advantage of the groveling and freebies in his new suite. A very official looking man came up a little later to have him sign some release form wavier things, saying he wouldn't sue. Harry was only too happy to sign after pretending to read said paperwork, as he couldn't exactly explain how or why he had gotten to this country in the first place much less provide anything one might need to sue someone else in it. Not like this was a magic contract after all and would take away is magic if he refused to participate or anything.
Disney wasn't looking into it, Harry got lots of free stuff and both parties were too happy to have avoided any unnatural un-pleasantries and all of them were avoiding the jinx words, so life was good. Of course wild shenanigans ensued but that was another story not discussed here and more along the lines of Harry Potter and the Week in Disneyland.
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Harry once all was said and done with the stuffy suit guy and the lots of paperwork and the excitement and physical pains of the day, quieted enough that he could concentrate on other matters finally focused on the only thing that had made it to this world with him. Of course if he had known, hindsight and all being twenty-twenty, he would have definitely carried more magical plenty items with himself.
As it was it didn't appear that there was any real magic in this whole world if Disneyland was the most magical place in the world. Which would mean that anything Hermione had packed in her, now his, pouch was all the magic he would ever have.
With a tentative hand Harry reached into the slightly still sticky pouch and his hand immediately came in contact with fabric, he couldn't even push it out of the way to grab for something else. Praying that these were Hermione's underthings or Ron's for that matter. Harry pulled, and pulled and pulled some more, the pulled it free was supposed to happen somewhere in-between there shouldn't it? Could things get stuck in a magically expanded mokeskin pouch? Harry had never thought to ask before, granted he had never heard of this happening before either.
However he was not to be deterred in his mission, whatever was in this pouch was all that he had left of his own world. There was no way he was letting it get stuck inside a magic sack. Before he knew it and yet still hours after he originally began this endeavor, Harry had both hands elbow deep in his pouch as he stood on the edges of it.
Which was as awkward as anyone can imagine; because, it was such a small enough looking pouch to begin with. But he had exhausted several other ideas already. Even the patented tie a string to it and then slam the door closed trick that was supposed to remove teeth or something.
Of course maybe it wasn't Harry's brightest idea to do this while standing on the bed, but he honestly hadn't expected it to work. Rather he had been actually intending to pile drive the stupid jammed bag muggle style when he got too frustrated trying this. Which was why it was such a nasty shock when whatever "it" was pulled free and he went flying back off the bed with his leverage gone.
Harry's breath was violently knocked from his lungs, and his only luck came in that he didn't hit his already abused head on anything. The dizzy spell was less a spell and more of the once grapefruit but now kumquat sized knot on his head reminding him of the incident that was never to be spoken about again.
It took a few minutes of relearning to breath and pushing past the nausea that accompanied the knot on his head before he could make out just what was jamming up the pouch. Once his eyes cooperated that is, because the people here wouldn't have his new glasses here until tomorrow. Yes, he has heard of contacts, thank you very much, they were little glassy doodads that went on a bare and unprotected eyeball.
Eyes focusing on the, admittedly still blurry but not as much, object and his heart quite literally stopped in his chest for a few mill-seconds. It was his cloak, his invisibility cloak, Merlin he thought he'd lost this, he'd shoved in the pocket of his robes after he had found Hermione and Ron after the battle and it among other things was taken from him. Harry pulled the silky fabric to himself to inhale the familiar material, he doubted very much that Hermione could have for all her ingenuity gotten this back and stuffed it into the pouch he later nicked from her, but bless her if she did. It felt so good to have this piece of his life back.
Two other items slipped free from the material as he lifted it up, one look sent a chill up his spine. Of course there was a larger stronger urge there and at the sight of that black, no longer broken, wand- one he knew for a fact he had personally snapped and placed in Dumbledore's grave… An urge was a mixed and which came out oddly as a hysterical laughing sob as he desperately grabbed this one link to any possible useable source of magic he was ever going to have. Unless of course his own phoenix and holly wand was in that pouch and unbroken as well? Maybe?
Sparks shot from the black wand tip, red and golden. It was like coming home after so very long and Harry cried, he really, really did, hard, and hysterical, and all kinds of loud screaming unmanliness, lacking even the basic inhibitions or desire to stop. When at last he cried himself out and hoarse for that matter, he passed out on the spot, worn from his first day in this new world, with the stress, and the chaos, and the sheer madness, from the ups, and downs of his day, and really his luck for that matter.
With his cloak as his blanket and the plush carpeting as his bed, too exhausted to try and heave himself up to the now daunting height of his free bed despite and maybe because of its gaudy luxuriousness, which was just too much for the seventeen year old to handle at the moment. Harry would regret that in the morning, more because the resurrection stone, or rather ring was still on the floor and somehow or another he had ended up rolling on top of it in the middle of his nap and of course stayed there, so when he woke the next morning he had a crick in his spine. For that night however he slept deeply, without dreams, or nightmares or awareness of any kind and it was glorious.
Harry remained completely unaware of the Fates now tearing out their hair; about the future he was irreparably altering and the many gods and goddesses upon this world that suddenly felt a spine trembling chill upon his arrival, and really even if he had known there was a more than good chance that he wouldn't care.
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The week that Harry spent in Disneyland was both refreshing and a great bit of disappointment. It was as if magic was like that cartoon bunny thing on the tele and tricks are just for kids or whatever. Or maybe it was only the children that could see the magic of this world?
It was something to think on anyway, and what's more was this whole getting around thing was so much easier with magic. What with no magical ministry rules about what spells he could and could not use, or what muggle objects he could and could not enchant, he was free to do whatever he wanted to. At least he was free to theoretically do them, knowing how to do any of the things he suddenly now wanted to do was another story entirely. He must have missed some classes at Hogwarts on the how-to-s of invading another world's foreign country and inserting oneself with untraceable fake paperwork and identification to get around undetected. You know the basic stuff. Bollocks.
Why did no one cover any of this before, even when Harry had been on the run with Hermione and Ron they had never actually left the country or for that matter faked paperwork or identities in a more legal and official manner…
Hermione had packed a ridiculous amount of books in the bag, some magic items, maps, clothes, money muggle and magical. To be honest it looked as though Hermione had become something of a kleptomaniac while they were on the run and grabbed whatever had grabbed her fancy. Except of course it was Hermione so of course there went anything of any real awesomeness, like a flying motorcycle or something.
So breaking a very stern rule ground into him at a very young age by the Dursley's, Harry cracked open one of the many, many, many books and pursued it for the knowledge it contained just for the fun of it. Of course being that his founding years had been so formative Harry didn't do it for long, and his luck being such that of course the book he had picked up was about potions of all things.
He had magic, what did he really need books that could possibly delve into the mechanics behind it all for really?
It took a long time for Harry to convince himself not to throw even the potions books away. He was also very tempted to take Hermione's belted copy of the monster book of monsters and release it on an unsuspecting public-but they hadn't been so bad here so, he save it for those really annoying muggles. Just in case one of them ever cropped up, after all if this world didn't have magic as he knew it, it couldn't have monsters.
Oh, how Harry would come to regret this very poor choice of thoughts in the coming weeks. For now though, Harry really, really wanted to ride the roller-coaster and see if they would be as fast as or faster than his broom. It wasn't but considering he didn't have one on this world it was a nice diversion. He wasn't desperate enough to attempt enchanting muggle brooms yet but it was a very close thing whenever he thought about it.
Leaving Disneyland a week after he arrived was something of a forgettable experience, literally. He remembered falling asleep in his room the night before after attempting some unknown spells in the books chosen at random and the next thing he remembered was waking up dancing on top of the flame of liberty with a hat made of fruit and some maracas and no idea how he had come across either, or for that matter how he'd gotten to New York.
Harry was quick to blend in with the tourists on the main land when the shouting of the muggle aurors let him know he had been noticed and they were not happy about it. While he did keep some fruit from the hat for a late-ish breakfast he was quick to disappear everything else. Wandering around the big city completely lost, without a single cent of American money on him Harry was quick to transfigure some based on the denominations he had seen from others. How much it was comparatively, or what anything cost to anything he was familiar with he had no idea so he just transfigured a lot of what he had seen and hoped it was enough.
Being that Harry had no idea what he was doing, what he was going to do, or what even if anything he wanted to accomplish, he settled on a bus ride. So he went up to the bus station and picked the very first place that stood out to him. Of course getting to the bus station required a cab and Harry was fairly certain the guy ripped him off asking for half of his transfigured money so Harry didn't feel at all bad about the fact that the money would transfigure back when the magic ran out.
He should have known the moment the cab took him to a semi-deserted bus station that something was going to go wrong. It was like he had a supernatural sign attached to his back that just tells controlling powers of the world to mess with him. It also figured that of all the things this world could have besides no magic would be one eyed giants. One's that seemed to recognize that he was the new kid in the world and therefore they must make his life miserable.
Or so the flying car that crashed a mere foot from his stunned figure led him to assume. Someone in this new world really hated him.
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Chaos, or at least that is who everyone on Olympus was blaming for the near total anarchy that was occurring. Little over a week ago, the fates had gone more than a little crazy and had revealed themselves to mortals. Not just their usual dismissive old lady sewing and randomly cutting strings on rickety old rocking chairs either. Nope, they had officially left their floating randomly appearing rocking chairs of doom. Of course their crazy behavior was also noted by local authorities and they had been subsequently jailed for derailing traffic.
Zeus had had the very dubious pleasure of returning them, and not even a God can cut through all that red tape so easily. It hadn't helped that Apollo, prophet extraordinaire, went screaming blind for the next three days straight. After the first day it just became too awkward to let him continue to drive the sun around; so Artemis had had to take over for him.
He had since calmed down, saying something along the lines, "that the future was a very weird place to be right now." Apollo's prophecies from that moment on were rather non-sensible. In fact, if Zeus had to hear that "there was a disturbance in the force", one more time he was going to rain terror on the little shit.
This wasn't the only trouble on the great mountain however. Nope, all it seemed to take was just a small little bit of uncertainty in the future for the rest of these nobodies to go completely nuts as well.
Of course that was a bit unfair, considering that Zeus rarely noticed those out of the great twelve. All others outside of that pertinent group he either found particularly useful or attractive.
Not that this kind of disregard improved tensions in the slightest. This was just one of the many grievances that had managed to accumulate after just a few thousand years. If it hadn't been for this very lame attempt to sow dissent in the peons that he ruled over; Zeus might have suspected his father. However, Kronos had always leaned towards the destructive hell-fire and total annihilation of everything in his world domination approach; rather than, this wannabe ambush of hurt feelings and misgivings.
If there was one thing the king of gods hated, other than anything disrespecting him, it was being bothered by underling crybabies. The status quo had been fine until a week ago- if there was a new god or goddess out there that was doing this to him… he vowed to make them miserable for the rest of their god forsaken life. As it was, this sort of hazing wouldn't be out of character for any of his children, or his children's children for that matter. Which actually left a far larger pool of suspects than he had originally anticipated just trying to remember them all.
This being the case as he was distinctly unpopular at the moment. Thanks in no small part to some loud mouth out there tattling about his more recent affair with a mortal. The only thing he had going for himself right now was that no one knew about the baby that mortal was now pregnant with.
You'd think by now that with all the godly powers at their disposal that gods would make themselves impotent, or wear a condom, or something by now. Not these gods however. That's right, these special gods who feared a half-blood leading to their destruction… had all unanimously decided that impotency, and condoms, and other forms of birth control were for other people and gods. These gods had sheer awesomeness on their side to protect against sexually transmitted disease, so pregnancy was other people's problems.
Of course these gods and goddesses despite their rather forward thinking and current state of near anarchy were too dignified to show it. Currently all of the hordes and masses were towering super-sized, dressed in the glorious togas, and dresses (because there is a difference), that signified the height of their prime and power. Which did not mean that they were stuck in the past and dwelled continuously on the 'better' days of ancient Greece and the New Rome.
Whatever horrible rumors had been spread, by other deceivers, about revolving their lives (and subsequently that of their half-blood children) around reliving their glory of old, were just that. In fact just the other day… someone had sent a kid on a quest that had nothing to do with any of that… it was just old age and poor memory that no one could recall which of them did so, or what the kid's name was, or for that matter what the task was.
Ignoring all that Zeus promised violent and terrible retribution for whoever was responsible for this current headache. If only there was a convenient distraction that would grab everyone's attention away from their righteous indignation. Hera stood by his master bolt, preventing him from creating a convenient distraction of his own. Her unforgiving expression promising violent retribution if he dared to leave her with this mess. Privately Zeus wondered if the sudden increase of divorces worldwide had anything to do with her own increasing thoughts on divorcing him… he crossed his fingers anyway just in case.
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I.M. This is sort of an on-going one-shot that had been haunting me for a while. I just keep adding pieces, and taking pieces away, and have no idea where I am going with it. So this story may never be completed.
**Big thanks to Joe Lawyer for the word corrections! I've made the changes to the words I remembered having in here. I might have missed some, so to those that see mole skin pouch or Chronis please feel free to give me a shout out so I can change them to their corrected versions. Thank you.**
"Again and Again" by Athey, is a Harry Potter, time-travel fan-fiction, warnings for this story include: M rated and Yaoi content. The concept I have appropriated for my own use is their explanation of Horcrux(s).
"How to Win Friends, Influence People" by Sparrowette, is a comedic alternate-universe Naruto fan-fiction. The concept I have appropriated for my own use is their happenstance application.
Thank you for your support, please if you can support the authors and read and review their wonderful work.