A/N: I hope you enjoy these collections. I am not the best writer in the world and I haven't written for some time so this is getting me back into it. Apologies if it's not very good, but I really love Grimecest as a ship and the characters themselves and really want to get the ship sailing and have been contributing their own works for the ship. Most will be AU, and contain other ships. But some will follow certain plots from episodes so will contain spoilers. Carl is 16/18 in the fics. It will usually specify which but if not he will always be at least 16.
Carl stared at the bottom of the bunk above him, he sighed. It was late; he wasn't sure what time since he didn't have a watch, but it was still dark outside. Things had been different since Judith's birth.
Everything was changing in the prison, people were settling down and there wasn't any sign of the Governor, Carl hoped that this would be the place they could live in forever and try to rebuild their lives.
Even his dad had started to go back to the person he used to be before she died, but Carl still couldn't shake that something was wrong. He knew his dad blamed him for the death of his mom; it was a topic neither of them spoke about and their relationship had been strained ever since.
So, he did what he knew best, kept him at arm's length and avoid him. It was hurting him, but he couldn't face him still, the guilt of what he did ate at him every night and haunted his dreams. Rick had tried his best to rekindle with his son, but every effort had been ignored or brushed off.
Carl was terrified, not just of the nightmares he had, but the growing passion he felt burning inside. He was 16 now and he expected this thing to happen but not for his own dad. He knew it was wrong, and it made him feel sick, but he didn't want to get rid of it. He wanted him more, but his dad had no idea; he assumed that it was just because of Lori's death.
Carl couldn't take it anymore; the air was hard to breathe suddenly, and thoughts of his dad came flooding in. He pulled himself out of bed and rushed out of the block towards the exit. He tried to be quiet, but he needed fresh air, the cold wind on his skin to calm him down.
He looked out into the fields that surrounded the front of the prison grounds; he sat in a foldable chair that Glenn had found on a run and sighed. He didn't know why he felt this way; it was his dad. It was wrong but who could he ask? It's not something you brought up in conversation, 'oh hey I'm in love with my dad.' He smiled weakly to himself, he couldn't avoid his dad forever but for the time being, this was the best way to stop his feelings growing stronger; not that they needed any help.
It was still dark out, but the breeze blowing had warmed which meant the sun would soon be rising. Sleep was the last thing on his mind right now. He pulled the gun from his belt and cradled it between his hands, the cold metal pressed against his skin felt natural now, a few months before he wasn't even allowed one.
'Carl?' He nearly fell off his chair with surprise, he thought everyone was asleep. He knew the voice was his dad so didn't turn around, he couldn't look at him not with thoughts kissing him going through his head. The footsteps got louder, and panic was rising in his chest. What was he doing up so early? Shit, he's gonna know something is up.
Carl got out of the chair ready to leave, anything to avoid the third degree he knew he was about to get. Even now his dad was as much a cop as ever. And he knew when Carl was lying to him.
'Sit back down. We need to talk.' His voice was stern, but he looked concerned, which worried his son even more. He unfolded a chair and put it next to him, and he slumped into it. Things were still taking their toll on his dad even though it was the safest they had been.
Carl begrudgingly sat back down avoiding looking at his dad, 'I'm fine dad, leave me alone. I want time to myself.' He snapped. He hated being like this, they had always been so close before but if he knew the truth things would never be the same.
'Don't keep doing this please, you're my son. We need to stick together now. Especially after you know.' He didn't finish the end of his sentence, Rick had never admitted that his wife was dead and that Carl had stopped her turning. It had almost broken him, and he been to hell and back since.
Carl said nothing, just shuffled awkwardly in his seat while his dad continued. His voice was almost hushed. Like this was a secret; except that everyone already knew. 'I almost lost it, Carl, without you and Judith I would have gone, I couldn't have done it without you two.' His voice was close to breaking, and Carl felt tears sting his eyes, his dad put his hand on his son's leg, a sign of comfort which unbeknownst to him meant so much more to his son.
He took a sharp breath in when he felt the older man's hand touch his leg. 'I can't bear it when you're like this with me. What happened to your mom, it-it wasn't your fault Carl. You're my son and I love you no matter what.' Carl couldn't fight back the tears now, he had waited so long to hear those words, but he wished he loved him in the way he wanted.
'You've been so strong through all of this Carl, when everything was falling down you showed me a way out. I don't know what's going on in your head, I wish I knew, then we could sort it out. I can't handle any more of this rejection.' Carl finally looked up and wiped tears off his face, he could see his dad's eyes almost glowing with the moonlight. The bright blue surrounded by bloodshot white, also a combination of sadness and lack of sleep. Carl wanted nothing more than to kiss him, to feel the roughness of his beard against his face. Taste his mouth and finally have the intimacy he had craved for so long.
'Dad, I have to tell you something. I don't know how to say this, but it's when I say it, everything between us will be different.' Rick looked confused, and Carl felt sick. How would he even explain? Would his own dad exile him from the group? He's always said he'd stand by him no matter what. But did that include being in love with him?
'I didn't want to feel like this, I know it's so wrong, but I can't help it. I need you, I know you're my dad, but I need more than that. I want you, I'm in love with you.' He bit his tongue hard before he said anything else. He turned away, he felt physically sick and dizzy now.
Rick was silent, and Carl wanted to turn back time, to make it so he said nothing. He told himself he should have kept it a secret that his dad wouldn't understand. He'd screwed everything up. 'Jesus Christ Carl. Are you serious?' He sighed and put his head in his hands.
Carl couldn't stop himself he burst into tears and shot out of the chair. His gun clattered against the ground, but he left it and ran back towards the cell blocks. He could hear his dad shouting his name, but his heart was breaking. He needed to get away. His chest tightened, and he struggled to breathe.
He leant against a wall away from Rick's vision or hearing and slid to the ground, he sobbed into his lap. The heartache he felt was unimaginable, he was inconsolable, how could he even tell his dad something like that? Especially after what he told him about what he went through after his mom's death. He felt stupid and wrong for saying anything.
His sobs turned into sniffles after what felt like an eternity, his eyes were sore from the crying and his heart still ached for affection from his dad. More footsteps and Carl got ready to move, he couldn't handle having someone question what was wrong, not again.
'Carl, please don't run off again. I have things I need to say, just listen.' Rick's voice was soothing but it wasn't enough to quell Carl's fears, knowing what was going to be said, he was dreading it.
He moved closer and sat down next to his son, 'look at me, Carl.' He kept his head buried in his lap, he didn't want to see his face. 'Carl, please. Look at me.' His voice was firmer this time, Carl looked up, he must have looked a state as Rick looked pained.
'I didn't know you felt that way Carl, is this why you've been so distant towards me?' He tilted his head slightly, and Carl nodded. Rick sighed, and ran his hand through his hair, Carl felt the tiniest glimmer of hope.
'Well you ran off before I could even say anything, you're my son. I'm your dad Carl, you know that. It wouldn't be right for us to be together like that.' He sounded concerned and Carl could feel the last bits of hope die along with his dreams.
'But the truth is, I didn't know how to tell you. So, I'm glad you went first because I feel the same way. I have tried so hard to deny it and tried to fight it because it felt so wrong. But it makes sense. We need each other Carl, in a way much deeper than father and son. I want you Carl, and I'm in love with you too.'
A/N: Let me know what you think in the comments, follow and leave Kudos if you enjoyed. I will hopefully post the next one in the next couple of days. And have ideas for more. If you have any suggestions, prompts or advice let me know. Please, no hate comments about the ship, it's purely fictional. Inspiration for these have come from the other amazing works for this ship on this site. Also on AO3 with the same username for the more explicit stories that won't be allowed on this site.