Envy is wanting something that someone else has.
Jealousy is fearing to lose what you already possess.
Roxanne jerks the bottle of wine down from the shelf and barely manages to refrain from slamming the cabinet door. She yanks her appliance drawer open (it sticks on a fucking spatula and she very nearly screams with frustration) and grabs her corkscrew.
Alcohol! More alcohol is definitely what this night needs! More alcohol and less blue supervillains invading Girls' Sci Fi-Movie Night with their unwanted presence and their flirty hands on Roxanne's friends' waists.
Roxanne never should have let him stay when he came to kidnap her during Girls' Sci-Fi Movie Night, but when he'd been chasing her around the table, Janice, Amber, Caroline, and Tanya all screaming (like he was actually dangerous–-please.), his eyes had fallen on the stack of movies and he'd stopped mid-banter to exclaim over how much he loves Galaxy Quest and the fact that he views it as very nearly an actual Star Trek movie, and what do you think, Miss Ritchi?
Whereupon all the other girls had stopped screaming and started giggling and Roxanne had suggested that he stay and watch the movies with them.
Which had been a mistake.
(Tanya had been sitting in his lap; Roxanne had wanted to hit her with the television remote because—)
(because he's Roxanne's no one else's only hers)
—because Roxanne had been concerned for Tanya, of course! Megamind is not 'perfect boyfriend material', like Tanya seemed to think. Megamind is a fucking supervillain.
You're not allowed to date the supervillain.
It's–it's against the rules!
Rule One: You're not allowed to date the supervillain.
But that's Tanya all over, isn't it? All of the guys she picks out are either 1) bad news or 2) already in a relationship or 3) all of the above. But a supervillain? Wow, Tayna has really topped herself this time.
Roxanne tried to point this out (with slightly more tact) earlier in the night, when Tanya invaded the kitchen, where Roxanne and Megamind were attempting to make popcorn in the microwave.
She was telling him to just use the 'popcorn' button because that's what it's there for, Megamind, seriously and Megamind was insisting that popp-ed corn is a dangerous foodstuff; you should let me re-program your microwave and both of them were laughing and then Tanya had walked in and Roxanne had felt—weird. Embarassed. Annoyed. Something.
And Tanya had dragged Roxanne off to the bedroom to gush about how Megamind was just so adorable, how he was respectful and sweet and how she'd really like to try dating him—if that's okay with you, Roxanne?
And Roxanne had snapped, in far too defensive a tone, why wouldn't it be?
The popcorn had been made by the time they went back into the kitchen, and not burnt or actively on fire only because Janice, Amber, and Caroline had taken command of the microwave before Megamind could do something destructively creative to it.
So they'd all gone into the living room and then there had been the whole Tanya-pulling-Megamind-down-to-sit-beside-her-on-the-couch. Tanya had grabbed his hand and Megamind had frozen and looked startled and that is Roxanne's reaction, the reaction that Roxanne always gets from him when they accidentally touch.
(when she brushes against him not-so-accidentally because she likes the way he blushes)
And then there had been Tanya whispering to him all during the movie, lips close to his ear. Roxanne had gritted her teeth and bit her tongue to keep from yelling that some of us are trying to watch a movie here.
It was incredibly hard to concentrate on the movie what with all the whispering and with the way Roxanne kept feeling as if someone was staring at her.
(Every time she turned her head to look at Megamind beside her, though, his eyes were fixed on the screen.)
Once, she could have sworn that she felt the lightest bit of pressure on her fingers, as if Megamind's hand was hovering next to hers, but when she glanced over at him a moment later, his hand was lying still next to his leg.
Well.
The hand on Roxanne's side was lying still next to his leg.
His other hand was all tangled up with Tanya's, her head on his shoulder, her other hand on his chest and Roxanne, looking at them, felt a sudden flash of actual pain, as if someone with very cold hands had reached into her chest and grabbed hold of her heart.
But that wasn't the end of it. Oh no. The end of it was Tanya climbing into his goddamn lap, sitting sideways across his knees, giggling and leaning her head back against his shoulder and—
Then. Megamind. Had wrapped his arms around Tanya's waist, supporting her.
Thankfully, the credits rolled soon and the other girls traipsed off to the bathroom and Roxanne was able to escape to the kitchen to get more snacks.
And alcohol. Lots of fucking alcohol, if she can ever get this goddamn corkscrew to fucking work right what the fuck—
"Do you—do you need some help?"
"No!" Roxanne snaps, looking up from her battle with the corkscrew and the wine bottle to see Megamind standing hesitantly next to the refrigerator, watching her.
"Are you—"
"No!" Roxanne says, digging the corkscrew in further. "No, I don't need any help! Why don't you go ask Tanya if she needs your help?"
"Tanya?" Megamind says blankly. "Why would I—"
"Yes," Roxanne hisses, "Tanya. Red hair, green skirt, don't tell me you don't remember which one she was, you were practically making out with her on my damn couch!"
"What?" Megamind says. "I was not—"
"I'm sure Tanya has loads of things for you to help her with!"
"What—what are you even—"
"In fact!" Roxanne yanks uselessly on the corkscrew. "Maybe you should just kidnap her the next time you need a victim for one of your stupid plots!"
"My plots are not—right," Megamind says, stepping closer to her, eyebrows snapping together, "What the hell is your problem?"
"My problem," Roxanne hisses, putting the wine bottle down on the kitchen counter with a dull thunk, "is that you decided to seduce my friend right in front of me, and I don't want to see that!"
Megamind flushes violently.
"Seduce?! Se—there was—there was no seducing—seduction—there was no—there was none of that!"
"You had your hands all over her!" Roxanne says in a vicious undertone.
"She's the one who—she's the one who grabbed me! She's the one who—with the leaning and the sitting and the—"
"Oh," Roxanne says sarcastically, "and you really tried hard to get away! You grabbed her waist when she was in your lap!"
"I thought she was going to fall!" Megamind says. "I figured you would be annoyed with me if I let your friend fall on her ass!"
"This isn't about me!" Roxanne snaps.
"You're the one who damn well brought it up!"
"You're the one who made things weird!"
"I didn't know how to stop her!" Megamind bursts out defensively. "People don't usually touch me unless they're trying to hit me! Unwanted touching of the non-violent sort is a new thing for me! I didn't know how to make her stop!"
"Well, here's a fucking hint for you, genius," Roxanne snarls. "When someone is touching you and you want them to stop? You say stop! Here," she adds, shoving him back against the kitchen counter and stepping in close, "we'll practice!"
"Uh—?" Megamind says, eyes wide and mouth open.
(oh god, Roxanne, what are you—)
"Tell me," Roxanne says, grabbing his wrists and pinning his hands flat against the countertop, "to stop."
Megamind is just watching her, eyes impossibly wide.
"I said," Roxanne says, stepping even closer, so that their bodies are pressed flush together, "tell me to stop, Megamind."
Megamind's tongue darts out to lick his lips.
Roxanne lets go of his wrists to slide one hand up his chest to rest lightly on his throat and wrap her other hand around the back of his head, the exaggerated curve of it fitting perfectly into her palm.
"Come on, Megamind," Roxanne says, lowering her voice as she tilts her head towards his, "tell me to stop."
"I—" Megamind says. His eyes flick down briefly to her mouth, and then back up to meet her gaze.
"I—" he says.
His throat moves under her palm as he swallows involuntarily.
"I—don't want you to stop."
So Roxanne doesn't.
(Things are a bit awkward when Tanya, Janice, Amber, and Caroline walk into the kitchen shortly afterwards.)
(Awkward, but very definitely worth it.)
Rule One: Only Roxanne is allowed to date the supervillain.