I wrote this in class the other day and my friend who read it said that it was good and I should post it here. I don't consider myself a poet or a great writer(I like to think I'm not too terrible though) so please criticism is welcome. Enjoy.
Hollow thoughts
I was born dead.
A bleak, pale contradiction to the vibrant colours of life.
I have no name, culture or family to belong to.
I am simply your twisted self reflection,
the other side of your life's coin.
hollow...
I see through your eyes...
I hear through your ears...
I feel through your skin...
I hate through your heart...
Not cared for, not wanted I break.
hollow...
You think of me as the secret part you want to keep hidden,
the skeleton locked in a closet of your soul.
Ever thought about how the skeleton feels?
It doesn't feel, you say?
Then why do I hate you, or is hate not a feeling?
hollow...
With boiling rage I break free,
I tear apart your world with my claws,
sharpened by hate and my fangs,
craving a taste other than eternal despair.
You don't want me around so I try to vanish...in a
hollow...
I have no escape from this horizontal hell
I plaster on a smirk,
a grin you mistake for pure sadism.
You're the sadist, keeping me locked up
in the recess of your mind.
I slowly drown in my own misery
which was once yours.
You have friends, comrades even.
I have only...
hollow...
I see through your eyes...
I hear through your ears...
I feel through your skin...
I hate through your heart...
Not cared for, not wanted I break.
hollow...hollow...hollow...
You get to live!
I get only eternal death
the fate of a monster
the punishment of a soulless being
I am soulless because you have even claimed that too.
You are... what I am not
You feel... what I've never felt:
Love
No love for your
HOLLOW
So what did you think? Let me know and don't worry about being too harsh, I can take pretty much anything. One thing though if you are going to rip this apart with criticisms at least make them somewhat constructive so I can improve.