Heartless
Viteros
viteros@hotmail.com
Magus.
That's who I am now, but long before...
I'm sitting here now. I'm waiting for my enemies to come and destroy me. I, the invincible Magus, am now reduced to sitting here on a worthless little throne waiting for someone to come and fight. I'm surrounded by ethereal blue flame that reflects the coldness of my heart...but I remember, before, the cold little boy that was I...
Magus. That's who I am now, but before...Janus, the young mage...
In the great floating kingdom of Zeal, where I lived simply to exist, in luxury, in sophistication, all of those that I took for granted. A life of knowledge, and yet such foolishness. Such arrogance that I did not deserve, but now I do...I am superior to all I know, but if I can find a Gate back to my life I'd apologize to myself and create a better future.
Schala...mere memories of her face linger in my mind, in the back of my dark memory...
I remember her talking to me once, as I stroked my cat...I don't even remember it's name anymore. She had said to me, ãJanus, you're a strong boy...too strong. Open your heart. Dark forces are going to try to stop you, brother, but you've got to keep holding on. You're life is going to be a one way track, but you are strong, and don't bend to what will happen.ä
I never understood what she meant by that, but I keep remembering that one sentence she said to me, ãOpen your heart.ä
Do I have one to open anymore?
All of my memories are of anger, pain, hate, despair. And yet there, in the farthest reaches of my mentality shines the radiant face of Schala, my fallen sister, whom I do not know of...
She might have been consumed by Lavos, a terrible fate she most certainly did not deserve. She'd gone through so much, only to die? Would that be my fate, as well? Or will I exist forever, as I had planned...
I have no need for Lavos. He's a weakling, and I will kill him. He's going to betray me, I feel it, for if I wake him from his sleep now he will have revenge on me, for he needs more time, more power...
Despair. I feel nothing anymore. Everything is going wrong. Ozzie, Slash and Flea are leaving, I can feel it. After all, nothing escapes the sense of a mage of Zeal. Mage of Zeal, what a worthless title. I don't even have a name anymore, I chose the title 'Magus' because it means 'sorcerer'. So now I don't even have a name...?
A tear.
A tear? Incredible. And yet my eyes are wet, and so are the black ebony arms of my chair. Perhaps my heart will thaw one day...
A scythe. Black stone walls. Blue flame. All around me are the signs of gloom and pain, it reflects my blighted soul. As little of a soul I have now...
How could I have fallen so low? How could I be this, this wreck of a man, who cries now because of his thoughts, and yet...those thoughts and memories are all I have left now...? What gloom...is that all that's left to me? All that is left...memories of pain.
Agony dreams, every night. I waken, and look slowly around me, at the terrible sickle that I always hold. That thing, the symbol of death to all, of pain to all who would dare to behold. None have observed the dread blade, the scythe, and left unscathed, wether in body, mind, or soul. Not even me.
Somehow ironic. The dark boy, who hates the world, still thrives, and carves incessantly at the dreaded death blade. He sharpens it for the ultimate enemy, but who will that be? And then a little, crying boy called Janus calls out for his sister Schala...who may be destroyed...by me, the Magus, the sorcerer of eternal death.
Is that it? That's all? That's where my pride, power, my Zealian power has gotten me. In an old, rotting castle, attended by three treacherous henchmen who would quickly kill me in a second and claim power.
If there's an underworld, that's where they're going...but what about me? Will I go there, or to the Heavens and alight with the angelic? Or will my soul rot here for eternity, and wander and wander...no. I'm a time traveler. I'm going to be immortal, and I am still waiting for the final opponent. He who can finally be destroyed, and put my soul at rest.
There's no peace. Just endless pain, wondering, and wandering. There's nothing more to existence anymore, I simply just do. Perhaps opening my heart, like Schala told me to, will help someday. But then. Is there a heart to open, or do I simply wait for the final enemy?
I suppose I'll find out later. My immediate threat approaches. Crono, or chrono, time itself. The embodiment of the wrath of time, Crono, fool, you do not understand your power, or purpose.
For the moment, while I wait, I'll try to fulfill Schala's last request of me, and open my heart. Or keep searching for the dark thing that lives within, the essence of the Magus.