AN: *sigh* I am crazy. I am officially and totally, completely insane. "Write Doctor Who fanfiction" my sense says. "Write Supernatural fanfiction" my muse says. Guess who wins? Haha. Yeah. You guessed right. My stupid muse. Haha. Yep, I'm insane. Anyways, here it is. Obviously AU because Cas is human but IN THE BUNKER with HIS OWN ROOM as it SHOULD HAVE BEEN. Wow, I get kind of into this. Again, insane. Standard warnings, references of eating disorders and wounds and depression and all these things these characters seem to have. *sigh* I own nothing, so don't sue me. I just apparently like tormenting these characters, although this is quite a lot of comfort. I don't ship Destiel. Just FYI. Fic title is from "That Old Black Hole" by Dr. Dog. You should listen to it. It's a good song. It has been dubbed the "Crazy Cas song" by my good friend Jade. Meaningful but random. Yeah. This has the potential to be continued based on the response, so, I wouldn't normally ask, but REVIEW. Anyway, here we go...
It had been nearly a week after the angels fell.
A week since Cas had stumbled into the bunker, weary and utterly broken, collapsing shivering on the doorstep.
A week since Dean knew that Cas was human.
And within that week Cas has neither eaten nor slept, only sipping morosely at the water that was forced into him at Dean's insistence.
And Dean had had enough.
So when Sam had gone out on a supply run, Dean knocked softly on Cas' door.
"Go away," Cas' voice rasped weakly through the closed door.
"Like heck I will," Dean said.
Dean heard a groan through the door and approaching footsteps before Cas' haggard face appeared through a crack in the door.
God, the man looked awful.
Dark circles rimmed the underside of his eyes, and his hair was sticking up in every which way.
His clothes practically hung off his unhealthily thin frame, and a thin sheen of sweat covered his forehead.
"Yes, Dean?" Cas grumbled irritably.
Anger boiled up in Dean at the sight of his friend, his family's flippant attitude towards his own wellbeing.
"We need to talk," Dean said gruffly, trying to contain his anger and barely succeeding.
"About what, Dean?" Cas practically scoffed.
"About this!" Dean exploded, "Cas, you're practically a skeleton, you're going to start freakin' hallucinating soon if you don't stop with this whole not eating or sleeping gig, and you haven't said a word to me this whole week beside refusing food. Talk to me man!"
Cas looked slightly edgy, before all of a sudden jerking away like he was about to fly off, out of the situation, but gasping in pain suddenly and collapsing to the floor.
Dean grabbed his arms and slowly lowered him to the floor.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Cas, slow down bud," Dean said as Cas' breathing became more ragged and his eyelids fluttered, "You're not an angel anymore. Tell me where it hurts."
"My-my wings," Cas murmured between gasping breaths. "I reached for them and I just felt emptiness, Dean. And it hurts."
"Easy, easy," Dean murmured as Cas sobbed into his chest, bringing him to the floor as Cas gripped his jacket like a lifeline.
Dean slowly rubbed circles into the ex-angel's back as he sobbed.
When the man's shoulders stopped shaking gradually, and he drew back a bit, sniffling and wiping his eyes, Dean withdrew his hands slowly and looked Cas in the eyes.
"You good?" he asked softly, as if trying not to startle him.
Cas nodded wearily.
"Now you want to tell me what's wrong?" Dean questioned, still in a soft voice but with a stern edge to it that presented it as more of an order than a question.
Cas took a deep, shaky breath.
"When Metatron took my wings, it- left wounds in my back. I bandaged them as best as I could, but- there are still scars. And I can't move my back without pain anymore, without the reminder of what I did. That everything's my fault."
Cas' deep blue eyes bored into Dean's green ones, pleading, helpless, human.
"No, Cas," Dean replied determinedly, "None of this is your fault. And we're going to fix it. But we can't fix it unless you help me. We need you Cas, me and Sam need you. And if you don't take care of yourself, you're worse than useless to us. And I can't stand by and watch one of my family members tear themselves apart over something they couldn't control. Please, Cas. Please do this. For me."
Dean's eyes stared back, equally pleading, but determined, and Cas hesitated before nodding resolutely.
Dean smiled, pulling Cas into a hug.
"Come on. Let's get you something to eat and let me take a look at your back. And then a shower, because dude, you stink."
Cas smiled slightly, and Dean knew that maybe, just maybe, he could put this family back together again.