This is a oneshot idea that just came to me...i hope you enjoy!!
A few notes about this story: Yes, I know it's long and probably really slow. But trust me, it'll get good if you take your time and read through it. It's one of those stories that you read when there's nothing else to do, and you want to read something good, and not smutty or funny or crazy. Just something pieceful.
which brings me to my next thing. THIS IS NOT A SMUTTY STORY! so dont read if youre looking for that. I don't even think I'm going to have sex in this at all. It just wouldn't fit. and even if i do, then it would probably only be briefly mentioned.
She didn't understand.
She just completely didn't understand.
Since when did she, Hermione Granger, not understand?
Hermione stared at him. She felt a bubble of hate in her stomach, ready to burst. Oh, how she hated him. How she wished he wasn't here. She didn't understand how the Order could let him in just like that. And she was one to understand everything. She looked over at Harry who was looking like he could seriously kill someone. Hermione shuddered. She knew that look, and would make it her life goal to never be the one on the receiving end of it. Her gaze wondered towards Ron who had gone red in the face and his fists were balled up. Directing her stare back at him, Hermione's face went stern. She had that determined look in her eyes as she always did when she was particularly angry. The room was filled with tension.
How could someone who had insulted them at every given chance and had even tried to hurt them once or twice, get accepeted among them? He had called her "Mudblood" numerous times and made it clear that he thought less of her and her "race". And did Professor McGonnagal seriously expect them to drop their differences just like that and act civil towards each other? There was too much hate. There was too much lack of trust. If he really wanted to get protected from the Order, it meant that every single person in it would have to die, if necessary, to save him in case anything happened. Yet Hermione was 150 percent sure that she would never even hesitate to leave him there to die. After all, it was his fault that now Dumbledore was dead. It was his fault that now the wizarding world faced darker times than ever. It was his fault that Harry would have to face Voldemort all by himself.
Mrs Weasley cleared her throat. "Well, mister Malfoy, I have prepared a room for you in the attic, since I thought it would be better that your room was far as possible from Ron and Harry's." Her voice faded away. She sighed and he gave a curt nod. He quickly glanced towards where Harry was sitting seethingly in his chair, still giving him a look that could kill.
"Well, Molly if you don't mind, I would like a word with these four troublemakers in private." Lupin said. Mrs Weasley hesitated and looked nervously at Harry, but nodded and left the kitchen. Lupin sighed once she was out of the room. "Look," he said. "I know how hard this is, and will be, for all of you. But for the remainder of the summer you will have to live with eachother whether you like it or not. Now I suggest that you four sit here and figure a way to work this out now so that it won't turn into a problem later. Now I'm not asking you to be friends," He added quickly after the increadelous look Hermione and Ron gave him (Harry and Malfoy were trying to kill each other with their glares). "but what I am asking you to do, is to be reasonable, young adults. Act reasonably and not immaturely. Even if you will never understand the reasoning behind this you will have to work with it one way or another. I will take your wands now, just in case. And if any of you try to turn this into a fistfight, there are spells cast all around you to prevent that from happening. Good night." And with a nod and a final nervous glance he was off.
The door shut behind him and the room filled with a deathly silence. Harry hadn't moved a bit since the announcement of Malfoy's acceptance to be protected by the Order was anounced. Ron was so red by now, he was redder than a tomato. Hermione was caught between throwing nervous glances at Harry and glaring at Malfoy. Ron was the first to cut the silence. "Bloody bastard. If you think you can just march in here expecting us to -"
"Save me the speech, carrot-head." Malfoy cut him off. "If you believe that I want to be stuck here with such low life as you, then you must be dumber than Longbottom himself." He drawled. Hermione made a disgusted face, but glanced nervously at Ron.
Standing up, Ron yelled, "Who are you calling a low life? We aren't the ones who are responsible for the death of the most powerful wizard!"
Malfoy snorted. "He would have died one way or another. You don't honestly expect for the Dark Lord to have me as his only plan, do you?"
"How DARE you talk like that? As if none of it was your fault! YOU SON OF A -"
"Son of a what, Weasley? Son of a Bitch? Son of a Death Eater? Grow up. Name calling won't do much for you."
"You should be one to talk! Calling Hermione a Mud - calling her that! I'll show you whose going to be low!" And with those words Ron jumped towards Malfoy. Hermione observed as her best friend jumped across the table, and was somehow thrown off by some kind of force shield. Ron fell backward to the floor and hit his head on the kitchen counter. He yelped in pain and Hermione rushed to his side. She made sure he was okay before glaring at Malfoy who was looking pretty smug right then. "Are you all right, Ron?" She asked. He just nodded and kept glaring at Malfoy.
Hermione looked at Harry who was still glaring at Malfoy the same way he had been before. It really wasn't very friendly. Malfoy turned towards Harry and glared back.
"Are you going to try to hurt me, Potter? Try to do it. See what happens. You will fall on your arse just like your skimpy sidekick." He was trying to provoke Harry, and Hermione knew it.
"Don't listen to him, Harry. Let him be. He's just trying to provoke you into doing something stupid." Hermione warned, hoping Harry would listen to her.
"That's right, Potter. Listen to your stupid Mudblood bitch." Malfoy snarled.
At this Ron hurled off from the ground and yelled. "HOW DARE YOU TALK ABOUT HER LIKE THAT?! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU, YOU LITTLE FERRET!" Just as Ron was storming at Malfoy again, Harry spoke.
"Stop." He growled. His voice was low, but very commanding and powerful. Hermione's eyes opened in deep respect for Harry. He could be so scary sometimes. She felt like power was just pouring off of him.
Ron stopped mid track. "What?" he asked angrily.
"Don't do it." Harry ordered.
"Harry, did you not just hear what he called Hermione?" Ron protested.
"I told you not to do it!" Harry, without taking his eyes off Malfoy, raised his voice, making it a bit more fierce, scaring even Ron into silence.
Hermione felt almost sorry for Malfoy. She knew Harry would finish him off in a second if it weren't for the spells. With Malfoy's week and malnourished state not even he could come close to Harry's phisique. Not to mention the kind of intimidation Harry was. Harry continued tearing Malfoy into pieces with his glare, not saying a word. Malfoy didn't speak either. Hermione thought he must have either been scared of what was coming next or anxious to find out. A few minutes passed in silence. None of them spoke and all four were frozen in their positions. Hermione kneeling on the floor, Ron in mid attack and Malfoy and Harry glaring at each other. Every party member was waiting for Harry to say something, or even do something.
Finally, after what felt like eternety of anxious waiting Harry stood up. Very slowly he straightened to tower over Malfoy, looking down on him, not once blinking his eyes. Malfoy slowly rose as well, meeting Harry's height. After another moment of silence, Harry did something that shocked them all. He raised his hand in front of him and left it there, waiting to be shaken by Malfoy. Hermione gasped and Ron's eyes widened. Malfoy quirked his eyebrow suspiciously and did nothing.
"Harry! What are you doing? You can't -" Ron spoke out.
"Shh" Hermione silenced him. Ron frowned, having been interrupted for the third time that evening.
Malfoy stared at Harry, and then at his hand, continuing the process for about a minute or so. Finally, he shook Harry's hand. After they were done shaking, or from the looks of it, trying to break eachother's hands they quickly drew away."Can't say it's a pleasure, Potter. I'm afraid I can't be polite." Malfoy sneered.
Harry just threw him a look of pure disgust and walked out of the kitchen with a brief good night to Ron and Hermione, who were still in their positions, too shocked to move or say anything.
Hermione couldn't sleep all night. She kept thinking about today's events. Her admiration for Harry rose by thousands. He had managed to control his anger and deep hate, and had accepted the Order's decision. Hermione knew that this had been his weakest spot in the past. Controlling hate and anger. But now he had proved himself to them all. This was a true act of novelty and heroism.
Her thoughts wandered to Malfoy. He had called her a mudblood again. Not that she cared anymore. She had heard it so much coming out of his mouth that it didn't affect her by the least. It was just the way he had said it. His voice hadn't been filled with disgust as it always was. There was something different about him. She had seen it in his eyes. It must not be easy for him, she thought. Being caught between two sides. Hermione mentally slapped herself for thinking that. Sure it was hard for him, but that didn't give him the right to treat others so cruelly. Hermione remembered the first time he had called her a mudblood. Her eyebrows furrowed in anger. She had been only 13 ((A/N: Her birthday is September 19, and Quidditch starts way after that!)) and was immensely hurt by those words.
Hermione felt anger run through her veins. That cruel bastard thought he was better than her just because he came from a wizard family. I bet he was brainwashed into thinking so. The little voice in the back of her mind spoke up. I bet you it isn't even his fault. Hermione was shocked at herself. Was she sympathizing with Malfoy? Well it did make sense. It probably was all of Lucius Malfoy's doing. Hermione wouldn't be surprised if Malfoy got beaten as a child. Her train of thought made Hermione wonder about what happened after that terrible night. Where Snape and Malfoy fled to. After all it had been a month. Where had the two been all that time before Snape brought Malfoy here for protection?
Snape. Hermione was just as confused about him. No one knew anymore where his loyalties lay. If Hermione were ever to find out he was on the Order's side, she would probably be ashamed. Be ashamed that one of their own men had killed the most powerful wizard himself. In one way, she wished that Snape wasn't on their side. That would help her blame him. If he were on the good side, it would mean she would have to forgive him, which she wasn't sure she could do.
Hermione sighed. So many mysteries, so little answers. They hadn't found a single Horcrux since school got out, and Harry was more angry than ever. But luckily he wasn't shutting them out anymore. He finally had realized that Ron and Hermione were crucial to him and were never going to leave him fight this war alone. They would be at his side. Forever and always. Hermione smiled. To keep herself occupied, she sometimes imagined the time after the war. After Voldemort and his Death Eaters were defeated and peace washed over the world. They would all be heroes together. And not only that, they would live quiet, happy lives. Hermione always imagined herself married to Ron. She didn't know why, but that's what she felt was her destiny. She knew he believed the same thing, but the two just never said it out loud. An obvious connection had formed between them ever since Dumbledore's death, yet neither had talked about it. It was more of an unspoken thing. It was bound to happen sometime.
A noise outside got Hermione's attention. She quickly got up and walked over to her window, making sure not to wake up Ginny. As she looked out at the little forrest, more like a terrain filled with whole bunch of trees, she spotted someone walking along the little path. Her curiosity took hold of her and she rushed outside as well, making sure not to wake up Mother Black's portrait. Hermione felt the cool air hit her, and zipped up her jacket to protect herself against the cold. Her eyes darted around and spotted the figure standing close by. She saw the person's white blond hair reflect in the moonlight, and realized she had followed Malfoy outside. Not wanting to be spotted, she was almost about to turn around and walk back when she saw someone else appear right by Malfoy. Curiosity taking over her again, she quickly hid behind a tree, and listened to Malfoy adress the mysterious person.
"Snape." Malfoy said cooly, and Hermione gasped.
"Draco." she heard Snape reply curtly.
"What did you want to see me for?" Malfoy asked, clearly annoyed.
"How have you been? Have they accepted you?" Snape asked monotonously, making it seem like he really didn't care what the answer was.
"How do you think I've been? Having to live with the bloody Order. Potter and all the Weasels around me constantly, nagging me. I've been perfect. Bloody perfect." Malfoy snarled. "And yes, they accepted me. They threw a welcome party actually! We're all just good ol' chaps! Yes, actually Granger and I are getting married soon, did I forget to invite you?" Malfoy drawled sarcastically.
Hermione shifted nervously at the mention of her name. Especially in those terms. She really didn't know what to think about Malfoy talking about her like that, so she decided to ignore it.
"Don't you be sarcastic with me, boy." Snape hissed dangerously, stepping closer to Malfoy. "I know that you don't want to be here, but do you honestly think that you're safe anywhere else? The Dark Lord has all of his men looking for you. I barely escaped his wrath."
"Then why did you bring me here anyways? Why not just bring me to the Dark Lord and have him kill me, then?"
"Because I made a promise to your mother! You know that you ignorant boy!" Snape yelled.
"But my mother is DEAD!" Malfoy yelled back. "Her being dead, means that the the Vow doesn't exist anymore! I don't need the Order's bloody protection! I don't need you!"
"Fine then. Escape. Flee from the Order. I will be counting the days until you die. I wonder how long you would last. One day? Maybe three?" Snape whispered venomously.
"I don't understand you. What side are you on, anyways?" Malfoy asked.
"The question is, boy, what side are you on? Ever ask yourself that?" Snape and Malfoy looked at each other for a moment, causing Hermione to hold her breath in anticipation. "Well, you should." Snape finally said, disappearing into the night.
Hermione watched Draco, finding herself unable to move. She watched as he hung his head and screamed out in rage, punching a near-by tree. She watched him as he took a deep breath and leaned against the tree for a minute. She watched him as he started mumbling to himself and then finally clearing his throat and walking away. She watched him as he walked closer to where she was hiding. She quickly took a step backward, in order to stay out of his view. This was a bad move, because by stepping back, she had stepped on a stick which broke in half, creating a small but clear noise. Malfoy froze.
"Who's there?" he asked. Hermione stood silently, praying to Merlin that he would just walk away. Her prayers weren't answered. "Granger?!" He yelled out in surprise.
"I - I -" Hermione didn't know what to say. She had just been caught eavesdropping into a very private conversation, and she was sure Malfoy would be mad. She quitly tried to reach into her pocket for her wand, but soon found out it wasn't there. Shit. I must've left it upstairs. She thought.
"What did you hear?" Malfoy asked coldly.
"I - I - I swear I didn't - I wasn't -" She stuttered.
"Did you hear all of it?" He asked in a dangerously low voice. When she didn't answer he walked over to her and pushed her roughly against a tree. Hermione whimpered. "I said did you hear it all?!" He yelled this time.
Hermione flinched. She had no idea what to do. She was stuck, and found herself in a position where she couldn't lie if she even wanted to, so she slowly nodded. Malfoy yelled out in anger and pushed against her harder. "Not a word." He whispered in her ear, venom, frustration, and anger dripping from every word. "Do you understand? Not a SINGLE word. And if I were to find out that you told someone -" his voice trailed off and he looked her in the eyes, leaving a message with them. Hermione understood the quiet language between them. She knew she wouldn't tell anyone.
Malfoy was still staring at her. Why was he still staring at her? Did he not understand that she understood? What was he doing? Why were his eyes changing? What was it that she saw in them? What was that emotion? Hermione gasped softly as realization hit her. Malfoy was inches away from her face and neither could seem to look away from the other's eyes. It seemed like they were calling out to her. His eyes. They were calling out to her. She knew that look. She knew it from Harry's eyes. It was pain. It was hurt. Pure desperation. Hermione's eyes were wide open and her mouth slightly agape and she was completely mesmorized by him. His eyes. The purity of his look. All the pain written in his eyes hit Hermione like a flood. She started trembling and felt a single tear slip down her cheek. Draco's eyes followed it on its way down. It seemed as if he woke up when the tear fell. His head quickly looked up at Hermione, this time fear written all over his face. He turned around quickly and ran back to the house.
Hermione let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding. She slumped against the tree, sliding to the ground, clutching her chest and breathing heavily. Her eyes darted across the ground as she tried to process what had just happened. It had felt like for a moment they had had a - it couldn't possibly be a - connection. It was like a bond had established and she hadn't been able to look away from his eyes. Hermione looked up in the sky and prayed once again to Merlin to help her understand.
Had he just shown her his vulnerability? Had he really just let her break down all his walls? What did she do to him? That damn Mudblood. He thought. He scolded himself as well. He was weak. Just like his father always told him. WEAK. He had let her see inside him. He had let her enter his mind. But then again, there was nothing he could've done. It was like some kind of force had held their gazes together. And what the bloody hell was her tear all about? What did she have to possibly cry about? It better not be out of pity for him. No one pitties Draco Malfoy. No one. Draco sighed and sat on his bed. He couldn't break down. Not now. Not here.
But once tears come, there's no stopping them.
There was an awkward silence between them as they ate. Harry was at the ministry with Mr Weasley. Ron was helping his mother with something in the bedrooms. Ginny was sick in bed. Everyone else was out on missions for the Order. It was only him and her. They ate, completely avoiding each other. Hermione wasn't all too sure what she was doing here instead of being with Ginny, but something told her that she couldn't just leave. She didn't know why Malfoy was here either. Maybe he had to be. Maybe Mrs Weasley forced him. Maybe it was an order from the Order. Or maybe - just maybe - he felt the same.
Hermione looked up at him. As if on cue he looked up as well. Their eyes met once again. But this time Malfoy looked away. She knew he didn't want to be vulnerable again. She guessed he was afraid. She had seen it on his face two weeks ago. There had been quite an awkwardness between them since that night. But as she looked at him, all of that went away. Hermione felt herself mesmorized by him again. The way his hair fell on his face. The way he chewed his food. The way she could see his pulse in his temples. The way his adams apple moved when he swallowed. The way his eyes always seemed cloudy and misty, as if trying to hide something. And Hermione knew what they hid. She guessed she was the only person to have ever sorted out the mist and passed through it to the other side. Actually she knew she was the only one because of the way he had reacted.
When he felt her eyes still on him he looked up again. What he saw shocked him. He had expected that after their little incident a couple of weeks ago, she would pity him. Feel sorry. Yet all he saw was her head tilted and her eyebrows furrowed, deep in thought. He then realized that she didn't pity him. She didn't feel sorry for him. She was merely trying to read him. Understand him.
Hermione scooted her chair towards his until she was next to him. Draco, being completely lost and unaware of what was going on, just dropped his spoon and looked back at her. Hermione inched closer so that their faces were just inches away and once again just stared at him. She tried to break through again, he knew. But to his surprise he really didn't seem to mind. It wasn't that she pittied him. She was just trying to figure him out. Subconsciously, Draco let her through again. Hermione smiled in triumph but her smile quickly faded away as she got washed over again with that overwhelming feeling. Pain.
As if her body had a mind of its own, Hermione felt herself lean just a tad bit further and cocking her head to the side. Looking into his eyes one last time, she closed her eyes and the space between them. Draco felt a shiver down his spine as their lips met. He was so confused and lost about what was happening but did not protest. Something had taken over both of them and neither could fight it, nor did they want to. It was a chaste kiss. A kiss filled with emotion. Pure emotion.
Draco looked deep into her soul after they had broken apart. It was his turn to try to understand, yet found he didn't want to. He quickly closed the space between them again. This kiss was filled with pain. With such great pain, it turned into passion. A passion Hermione never knew existed. It was anger, hate, confusion, and desperation all together. The kiss sent shivers down their spines and Hermione's heart thumped wildly against her chest, almost hurting her. As their kiss deepened, their passion increased. Hermione never knew that these feelings she was having existed, all she knew is that she wanted to keep kissing him. That maybe if she kept kissing him, she would finally understand.
"You slept with him, didn't you?" He asked quietly, knowing the answer already. Hermione looked up at him, tears shining in her eyes. She had no idea how Harry had found out, but knew better than to lie to him. He looked up from the floor and met her gaze with one of his piercing stares. He was trying to invade her mind, but just with one look into her eyes his fears were confirmed. They stood there for a while, neither saying a word. Finally, Harry nodded and left the room. Before walking out, he stopped at the door and said, "I suggest we don't tell Ron. Unless -" He looked back at her with fear and concern written all over his face. "It turns out to be something serious." It was more of a question than a statement.
Hermione thought about this. She didn't know the answer herself. Was it something serious? Now that they had slept together, what did it mean? Did it mean anything at all? Would it ever happen again? Would they ever talk about it? What was it anyway? Was there even an it? She didn't know. She looked into Harry's eyes again, using hers to speak without words. He nodded again and looked to the ground, hesitating for a moment, then walked out.
Draco looked up at her. He had been asking himself the same things. What was going on with them? Why was he weakening all of a sudden? Why was he so vulnerable? Why did she have this affect on him? Did this mean that he was on the good side? What did this mean for them? He saw that she was trying to find these answers in his eyes while he was trying to find them in hers.
He reached out and grabbed her hand. She walked closer. He put his arms around her. She looked up at him, once again tears in her eyes. Then she did something they both didn't expect. She smiled. Smiles are contageous, they say. Draco realized how true this was. He couldn't help but smile back himself. They leaned in closer and kissed again. With their kiss they both felt something that made them realize. That made them understand.
Maybe,
Just maybe,
She didn't always have to understand.
And neither did he.
El Fin.
If You guys have made it this far in the story, please don't hesitate to review. I love hearing my wonderful readers comment my work.
I know this is something completely different than I normally write, but what can I say? I can't choose what decides to sneak into my mind..hehe.
