I honestly don't know where I'm going to go with this story. It just came to me one night while I was bored out of my mind. So, it's pretty much going to write itself, take me where it wants to go. I'm not sure if this is going to be a Cupcake or a Babe fic. I'm actually going to aim for Babe-cake. This my first shot at a fanfic for the Plum series but definitely not my first time writing.

All reviews, including flames are welcome. If I've gotten some facts wrong, etc, feel free to point them out.

Oh yeah, and this story is going to take place right after 12 Sharp so…if you haven't read that far there might be a few spoilers. Nothing major, but don't say I didn't warn you.

Other than that, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters. Janet Evanovich does, she's just letting me borrow them for the time being, at no profit. Just the enjoyment of the readers.

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When You Have Your Cake and Eat It Too

Chapter One

I hesitated for a moment before I took another piece of cake into my lips. For the first time in my life I, Stephanie Plum, was hesitating in the presence of cake! This was unheard of. I was born and raised in the Burg, short for Chambersburg, with an Italian and Hungarian family that always promised great deserts. I hadn't been able to turn down cake since I was in the womb. But today I had my reasons to be weary. Part of the reason was I wanted to keep the fit I had in my jeans. I was scared that if I took in anymore cake I would have a roll of fat to deal with in the morning. My other reason was a lot more lethal.

I glanced from under my thick eyelashes at the man on the other end of the fork. Ranger appeared to be entertaining himself by feeding me cake. Ranger was my mentor, tormentor and more; the epitome of tall, dark and handsome. He was somewhere in the vicinity of 6-feet tall, wrapped in mocha colored skin and had his long mane of black hair pulled tightly into a ponytail secured at the base of his neck. Most men I knew would look like idiots with their hair styled like Ranger. But somehow, it all fit into Ranger's 'alpha male' demeanor. Ranger always was dressed in SWAT black, except for today. He was mysterious, smooth, with eyes like dark chocolate. To say he was every woman's dream was an understatement.

Most women I knew, like my best friend, sister, even grandmother, would have done anything to be in my current position. I had been in a lot worse places, a lot worse. I was 30, over-all healthy, and some even considered me attractive in the right light. I didn't necessarily believe that. It was hard to consider myself attractive when I had unruly hair and my jeans were fitting too tight. But here I found myself, with one of the most—if not the most—attractive man in all of Trenton, feeding me cake. I took yet another piece of cake in before wondering to myself, what's the problem? In the past couple of weeks I had been stun gunned, stalked, and all around harassed. I deserved some cake, dammit. There was no problem. Right?

Ranger's gazed had gone from seemingly innocent to a bit more perverse as I slid my tongue around the piece of cake and metal of the fork. Alarms started to go off in the back of my head. I might have been young healthy and attractive but I was also very much involved with my boyfriend, Joe Morelli. He was a cop, with a cop face that showed zero emotion when he was pissed, and a cop's body that had many creative uses thanks to his over-active libido. Ranger had once described Morelli as a good guy with a shitty job. I had to agree. Morelli had looks and charm to spare, surely he could have been something else than a cop. Like a male model…or porn-star. He was taller than me, with Italian blood pumping proudly through his system from head to toe. His hair was cut short, but it always seemed to need a haircut in a sexy, saggy sort of way. Morelli's eyes were dangerously seductive. They had been my undoing plenty of times. He had a tattoo on his perfectly-sculpted chest of an eagle, a tribute to another life. The life that made it hard for me to take him being a cop seriously, a life where he broke laws rather than enforcing them.

My relationship with Morelli had always been a strange one since its debut. It all started when I was a young girl and, going against my mother's warnings about those Morelli men, I followed Joe into his father's garage. As a child I didn't do well listening to advice. Come to think about it, I still don't do well with advice. Unlike my perfect sister Valerie I had jumped off of the roof, been the original space cadet, and that day, I found Joe Morelli's head under my skirt as we played 'choo-choo'; he was the train, I was the tunnel. Dumb move number one. Since then, Morelli has been a permanent fixture in my life.

A decade later we found ourselves on the floor of a bakery where I worked part time, with a very different part of Joe's anatomy in the general area where his head had been so many years ago. He was so kind as to relieve me of my virginity that night, and later write about it on the wall of bathroom in Mario's sub shop. That definitely qualified as dumb move number two. Another decade after that, we were on-again/off-again boyfriend and girlfriend. Only this time we were on-again, and it felt more serious than it had in…forever. I was still deciding if this was another one of those dumb moves I made. With some difficulty I swallowed the sugary lump down my throat and stared at Ranger. I pushed my chair away from him.

"Is something wrong? You're not chewing."

I licked some frosting from my lips. "I…was thinking."

"About?"

I looked at Ranger, and then my eyes dashed away. "I don't want the calories. I should go."

"Babe."

"I have to get going." I choked out unevenly. "I-I hope you feel better."

Ranger set the fork down into the cake box and raised one of his eyebrows. He wasn't buying it. No matter, I had to be strong, I told myself. I had to leave. I had to drive around. I had to get some air. I was going to stand up and show Ranger I had self-control.

I stood up, but my legs went from under me almost instantly. "R-really. I'll check in with you later. O-okay?" This had all sounded and gone over a lot better in my head.

Once again I thought I saw the imaginary smile tugging at the corners of Ranger's tight mouth. "Babe." He said again, this time lower.

I watched Ranger stand with some difficulty, and yet it looked more natural than what I had attempted. He had been shot due to my most recent problem that had turned out to be our most recent problem. Someone had stole Ranger's identity and the whole ordeal had even dragged in Ranger's daughter, Julie from his pervious marriage. The Ranger-wanna-be wanted to kill Ranger and keep me and Julie to complete his sick fantasy. Bringing him down had resulted in us getting a lot closer, and me admitting some feelings to myself that I sometimes wish I hadn't found. It made my current love life more complicated than it had to be.

Ranger leaned closer to me and caught my chin in his hand. He kissed me with lots of force and tongue. I felt the sugar rush to the worse imaginable place in my body. Not my thighs, though it was in the same region. I felt the whole room flush with heat, and it was coming from Ranger. His body was practically throbbing with it. Somehow my arms moved around his neck and the heat was moving lower and lower in my stomach until I was gripping at the back of Ranger's grey sleeveless sweatshirt with my nails tightly. I let out something between a moan and whimper.

When he pulled away he was licking his lips. "Now that cheered up my food pyramid."

"I can't keep doing this." I whispered. I thought of Joe. The cake felt like a cold slab of ice in the pit of my stomach.

"Sure you can."

"Joe." I replied.

"What about him?"

"Joe." I repeated, shaking my head. "Joe."

Ranger let out something that sounded like a very pissed of growl, but his face remained the same. "Babe, you can have your cake and eat it too. You just have to find out how, and when you do, I'll be here."

He was getting dangerously close to me again. "I have to go." I spat shakily and dashed out of his apartment. I don't know how I found the strength or will power to force myself out of Ranger's apartment and back down to the RangeMan garage, but I did. I sat in my Mini, my hands gripping the wheel, breathing hard. My heart was pounding up against my breast like it was trying to escape. I tried to convince myself that what I was feeling was a bad combination of sugar and lust, but even that didn't work. I turned my radio up full blast and peeled out of the RangeMan garage as fast as my car would take me.

When I hit my first red light my thoughts had a chance to catch up with me. I didn't know where I was going. The right thing would be to go home and visit Rex, my hamster. But, lately I couldn't stand the sight of my apartment. Every time I was there alone I would stand in the middle of my kitchen, staring at that spot, transfixed with utter horror. That spot was the spot Ranger had taken a bullet. I had seen it with very eyes. Up until that moment I had thought Ranger to be immortal. But it wasn't until I actually almost lost him that his life became to valuable to me.

I watched his body absorb the blow from the bullet, his face couture into a horrible mixture of pain and outrage, and then his body fall to the floor almost lifelessly. My voice had dried up in my throat when I tried to scream. With the flashback I felt a wave of tears fill my eyes. It was bad enough I had the flashbacks when I was in my apartment, now they were coming after me when I was out? Wiping the tears away, I felt like I had nowhere to be safe.

A typical Jersey driver honked his horn at me, made a few gestures that I was too familiar with and cut me off. Any other day Stephanie Plum would have been ready for action. Today, I let him pass. I closed my eyes, steadied myself, and followed traffic.

I made it home on autopilot. I parked my Mini downstairs of my apartment building and ran inside. I was going to feed Rex, then go back out. I couldn't stay in my apartment, not when the feelings were so close to the surface. I made it up to my apartment without a problem. Usually, I would have been more careful about opening the door but I was in a state of mind that didn't allow me to. When I walked in I heard Rex busily running on his wheel. He stopped at the sound of me for a second before continuing his daily exercise routine, something he had not inherited from me.

I rapped on the glass of his cage and dropped in a few Cheese Doodles and a raisin for good measure. Rex jumped off of his wheel and stuffed the cheese doodles into his cheek. Maybe he had taken more after me than I thought.

"I'm going to go see Joe." I said to Rex. He glanced up at me with his beady eyes and I thought about staying a bit. There was a beer in the fridge that was calling my name. I was going to reach for it when something stopped me.

I had to cross that spot. I closed my eyes until I was seeing white in my closed vision. The blood was gone, Ranger was safe in his apartment, but I still saw it. I mumbled a half-hearted apology before I stumbled out to my car blindly. I sat there for a moment, gripping the wheel again, and out of breath for an entirely different reason than the first time I fell into my car.

I had two choices. I could go home for dinner to my family or I could go see Joe. Or I could go get a dozen donuts and a 6-pack. But, given the cake encounter I had earlier, I didn't want to tempt fate. I would lay off the sweets as long as possible.

There was always going home. My family lives on Roosevelt Street, close to the heart of the Burg where all of the houses are the same. They are all clean cut and narrow, usually sharing a common wall with neighbors. Ours is shared with Mabel. She is quiet, keeps to herself since her husband's passing, and bakes cookies. My family is her opposite. They tended to overstuff people in a house that was already bulging at the seams. They were loud and dysfunctional, in a charmingly normal type of way. My mom and dad had taken in my Grandma Mazur after Grandpa Mazur had taken the seat of honor at the big buffet in the sky. Mom had seen it as the right thing to do, being a good Burg daughter. Dad saw it as a curse for something he did in his youth that he was still unsure of. Sure, home was noise, especially when my perfect sister, three children, and baby's father were there, but it was home. Home offered a sort of comfort that Joe's didn't, simply couldn't.

Morelli's on the other hand was a lot less formal. It would only be the two of us, and Bob. Bob was Morelli's big, furry, orange dog. The vet had said he was a golden retriever, but I suspected he was half woolly mammoth. Bob had an eating disorder, he ate everything. If it wasn't nailed down, Bob went Godzilla on it, and even when it was nailed down he made a fight for it. In some strange way, Bob was perfect for Morelli and I. Morelli often times used Bob as his ploy to get me over to his house. He lured me over with Bob, beer, pizza, and the promise of passionate sex. I would complain, but who would listen?

I flipped down my vanity mirror and checked my face. My blue eyes were lined with red from the threatening tears, mascara and eyeliner smudged. My hair had turned curly instead of wavy. That was no surprise. I pulled out some emergency makeup from my glove compartment, fixed the damage and took off to Morelli's house. I made a deal with God, promising I would see Mom tomorrow then was off to feel better.

I pulled up to Morelli's a few short minutes later. He lived in a house that was similar to my parents but to me it always felt much roomier. That might have something to do with the lack of people and extra bathroom. Morelli also lived like a typical guy, which meant less furniture. He had inherited the house from his Aunt Rose. From the outside the house wasn't anything spectacular, considering his garage was blown up. But from the inside the house was filled with Morelli's signature scent and style, mixed with a little Bob. Occasionally, I add to the house. Sometimes I wonder if my cookie jar will end up on Morelli's counter. Other days that thought scares me.

I didn't need to knock on the door. When I came out of the driver's side of my Mini I saw that Morelli was already leaning in the doorway, thumbs hooked into the loops of his faded jeans. He wore his black CAT boots and a faded gray shirt that was held together only by hope. He was off duty, but still radiated bad-ass cop vibes. I smiled at him like the schoolgirl he made me fee like. He cracked a dazzling smile that put electricity in the air.

"Hey, cupcake."

My knees got weak even before I reached the door. When I did, Morelli had to all but catch me. "Hey." I breathed out.

He kissed the top of my rumbled hair and smiled down at me. This was one of the things I loved about Morelli; his unconditional affection.

"I'm glad you came by." He said, ushering me into his house and closing the door.

"Why?"

Morelli pushed me against the door. "Bob's been really lonely without you. He misses you."

As in on cue a muffled woof came from somewhere in the house. A few short seconds later I felt the approaching stampede of Bob paws charging throughout the house. After almost knocking into the door itself, Bob managed to somehow push Morelli away. Once Morelli was out of the picture, Bob's face went straight for my goods.

I tried to push his head away, but Bob was persistent. I glared up at Morelli.

"What can I say?" He grinned with a shrug. "Great minds think a like."

I continued to try to move Bob's snout away from a very sensitive area but he recoiled with a vengeance. I yelped. "Help!"

Morelli dragged Bob out into the backyard by the collar. I heard Bob whimpering on the wrong side of the back door. Morelli returned, still smiling. "No fair, he got to third in less than five minutes."

"Yeah well, so do you." I mumbled. "No wonder dogs are man's best friend."

I was too busy wiping Bob slobber from the crotch of my pants to notice that Morelli had advanced on me. He had me backed up to the door again, a wicked gleam in his melted chocolate eyes. He whispered some colorful imagery in my ear that hit close to what Bob had attempted and this time my knees did buck. In a flash his shirt was on the floor and his lips were busy on my neck. I tilted my head back on the door.

Morelli came up for air a few minutes later. He scanned his lips along the lines of my face. They stopped at the corner of my lips. "Is this cake?" He questioned, licking the pastel colored substance. "Mm, it is. When did you have cake?"

My stomach did a raw twist and I felt the sugar surging up like I was going to throw up. If I told Morelli where I had been, I knew his reaction. It was not going to be a pleasant one. If I lied, the guilt would snowball. I must have taken too long to answer, because Morelli lowered me down from the door.

"You were with Ranger, weren't you?"

Somehow, my mouth had been glued shut at the worse time.

"Christ." Morelli mumbled. "Steph, I thought there was no need for that."

Finally, I unglued my lips. "I just went to visit. He's recovering. And I feel it's my fault." I wasn't lying.

I saw Morelli run his hand back through his hair and let out a small, Italian-sounding curse.

"It was a short visit." Now that was a lie.

"Long enough for cake."

Ouch. "Joe…"

"No." He was bent over, picking up his shirt. "Let's just call in and watch TV."

I watched him slip the shirt over his well-muscled back. Morelli swung his legs over the back of the couch and plopped down in front of the TV. He kicked his CAT boots off, rested his feet on the coffee table and focused on channel surfing.

To keep myself from going insane I walked to the backdoor and let Bob in. He walked to Morelli's side and after turning in three full circles he lay down with a thump.

"Joe?"

He reached for the remote, and turned up the volume. I couldn't compete with the roar of the basketball game.

"I'm going to take Bob for a walk."

I glanced down at Bob. He stared up at me with a No-you-don't look in his big orange eyes. I sighed. It was bad enough I had one of them mad at me.

I left Joe's house without another word. I knew he wouldn't notice or care. I walked out to my Mini and drove home, Metallica blasting all the way home.

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Chapter two coming soon! Hope you enjoyed and don't forget to review!