Enjoy.
Sadly I do not own The Reason, Hey Arnold!, or the boy's (whom I love) home address.
She found him by the park.
I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learnin'
I never meant to do those things to you…
She said good bye to everyone, except him. She hadn't seen him all day. It was raining; cold, loud and hard. She loved the rain. She didn't know why, because it was so sad.
"Perfect for this day," she laughed bitterly. It did remind her of that first day in kindergarten, though…
His broad shoulders were slumped down along with his face. He was looking down; focusing on his sneakers. His blonde unruly hair was pasted on his forehead and in his eyes from the rain. His black jacket was loosely hanging from his well-trained shoulders.
"Man," she thought sadly, almost grimacing, "after fifteen years of obsessing over him and he couldn't look sexier."
She gave her coat a gentle hitch, walking slowly over to him. He couldn't hear her footsteps, thank goodness.
She'd told everybody the news yesterday. After eighteen years in this crummy town, she was leaving. It had a good side and a bad side. She was going to study in New York; her dream college, but she was abandoning her friends and… Arnold. After she told the news sadly and somewhat hesitantly, Arnold had disappeared. She hadn't seen him since then. No-one has. Not even Gerald. Finally, after saying goodbye on this cursed day, she went to find him. She looked everywhere; before realizing where he'd be. She climbed in her black sports car and raced over as fast as she could. They were going to the airport in less than three hours before she found him like he was now. Drenched in rain and looking down.
She realized that she was staring at him for a while now. She decided to take the plunge and walk over. He didn't notice her at first, but she ticked on his shoulder softly and he looked up at her. He immediately stood up and she saw his tear-stained face. She touched it lightly and winced at the soft, but cold skin her hand found. No words were exchanged. She stared in his watery eyes and swelled up from sadness.
"…Why?" The word went through Arnold's mouth after a few minutes. She knew precisely what he was talking about. A touchy topic.
And so I have to say before I go…
That I just want you to know
I found a reason for me
To change who I use to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
"Because I have to." She simply answered in a whisper and caressed his face instinctively.
"No you don't!" He spat angrily. She trembled from fear of crying, but held it in with a power from somewhere inside of her.
"Yes, I do." She calmly stated. He looked at her with broken eyes. He reached with her hand on his face and squeezed it with all his might; as if she was going to fade into nothingness.
"No, you don't…" He said again; this time his voice broke. Her two eyebrows scrunched up at his pain. She didn't like pain. Yet, she was drawn to it somehow.
"Arnold…" This time, her voice broke and he sighed. "I have to go. We all do, sometimes."
"But why you? Why now?" Arnold asked frantically, looking down at her. He was half a head taller than she was now. Helga was surprised at his tone of voice. They weren't even dating, yet he broke down in front of her because she was leaving. It didn't make sense.
She yanked her hand away, like she was burned. He had been caressing her hand intently.
"Helga…"
"No, Arnold… I have to say something…" Helga said forcefully, staring at the hand he had been holding. When she heard no reply, she took it as a sign to go on. She drew in a deep breath, and mustered all the courage she had. She finally looked up to him, a determined look settled on her sad stricken face.
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear
"My parents aren't coming with me." She said after a few seconds of focusing on his face.
"Helga! Then why?! You could stay here! You could come and study with us… With me…" He objected coldly. She hated seeing him like this, but she had to tell him the truth…
"Listen…" He stayed still and she went on. "I need a change. This city… Our gang… You… I need to get away."
"Why?" His voice broke again. It threw a dagger through her heart every time.
"Because, Arnold, it's what's best for me… and you."
"You leaving is the best for me? How's that?" Arnold asked irritated that she kept making no sense.
She sighed and looked down. How could he understand? How could she make him understand?
"Why? What's the reason that you suddenly decide to vanish?" Arnold asked, crossing his arms.
"Arnold-"
"You can't just leave… We need you." The rain went plitter-platter steadily through the trees as Arnold waited for her response.
"Arnold, you're the reason I'm leaving!" Helga burst out, before quickly covering her mouth with her wet hands and staring at him with widened eyes.
"W-what?" Arnold asked. "I-I don't understand – what did I do? Did I offend you? Did-"
Her loud sigh made him stop. "No… I want to change because of you."
"You're perfectly fine! Why do you want to change?" Arnold asked and grabbed her arms and shook her gently.
I found a reason for me
To change who I use to be
A reason to start over new
"Arnold, I'm not exactly the perfect person… I hurt you so bad since – I can't even remember. I think I hurt myself more than I hurt you. Hurting you… It tears me apart. You deserve better than to be picked on every day of you life. Look, I made mistakes, and I'm still making them. I've been waiting all this time for something, someone to come along and give me a reason to change. But nothing ever came, and I figured it wasn't worth it to change. Then you came along, and I felt excited to change." She chuckled, "Man, saying change all the time is getting annoying…"
He slightly smiled, but still couldn't believe what he was hearing. Helga leaving… because of him?
"I decided that it'd be better for me… and you. You deserve more than me. But if I change, I'll be better! You'll see that Helga you always believed in shine through the old Helga. You'd… actually like me when I get back…"
And the reason is you…
"But Helga, why? And of course I like you! How dare you say I don't like you? Why would I influence you so that you want to leave?" Helga took a deep breath. She thought what life would be like without him. She started choking on her tears and finally let them free. "You'd hurt me the most if you leave! Who else can you think of who would be as hurt as I am?!" He asked, getting mad at her for crying. It hurt him when she cried. It took all the power and will he had not to embrace her.
"…Me."
"Wait, what? Why would it hurt you to leave? And why the hell am I the reason for your departure?!" Arnold asked angrily. He was confused, and he didn't like to be confused.
"You're the reason… Because I love you…" Helga said and the tears flowed down freely and fast. He whipped them away with his thumb instinctively, but shock became evident on his face and he couldn't form words.
And the reason is you…
"What? You… Love me?" Arnold asked, getting out of shock.
Helga laughed through her tears despite the serious and sad situation. "You're the only one in this whole damn town that didn't see it. Lila saw it – why do you think we've been enemies all these years?"
It took a moment for Arnold's brain to register everything he had heard. The only thing he could hear was her crying breaths, soft and scared.
And the reason is you…
"Say something… Please say something…" Helga begged as her voice went haywire. She dreaded this moment and his silent form was crushing her by the second.
"… If you love me, then why are you running away from me?" Arnold asked finally. It didn't make sense.
"I'm not running away from you! I'm trying to sort myself out… for you." Helga softly replied, looking down at the ground. She couldn't look in his eyes – not now.
And the reason is you…
Her breath hitched as she waited for his shoes to kick the dirt and walk away from her. Then she couldn't breathe because she felt a pair of impossibly strong arms engulf her fragile shivering form.
Her eyes went wide as he sighed and rested his face on her left shoulder. His grip only got stronger as she started to squirm.
"Damn, Helga, you're really unlike other women. Decide to tell me you love me on the day you go away. What am I to do with you?"
"You could let go of me so that I can run away." Helga uttered, rolling her eyes.
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I found a reason for me
To change who I use to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
"No way!" Arnold refused forcefully.
"Why not? Do you want to rub it in and make me suffer more than I already have?" Helga sarcastically asked. She felt naked as he smelled her hair.
"No, silly, because…" Arnold hesitated, letting a hand go through his hair nervously. He leaned in and his lips brushed her cheek as he made ready to whisper to her. "…I like you like you…" He chuckled.
She choked on her tears and eyed him sceptically. "Oh sure, rub salt into the wound, Arnold." She pulled out of his embrace and turned away from his face.
"I'm not kidding, Helga." He tugged on her arm, but she didn't budge.
"Yes you –" She was interrupted by his lips on hers. He had yanked her back to him and into his arms. She felt her blood stall as he asked for entrance through her mouth. She slowly let her mouth open and he played with her tongue. She slowly put her arms over his shoulders and played with his tongue. She felt his arms caressing her body and found their rightful place just above her butt. Soon her body was crushed into his. The kiss was rather passionate, with Helga pouring fifteen years of love into it, and Arnold was kissing her like he needed her to live. He started sucking her lower lip and she tried not to let a moan escape.
When they finally gave into the air they needed and the rain that was now almost cutting their skin, Helga laughed as she felt her lips swell up. Arnold smiled at her, blushing red. Damn, he thought, she's a great kisser.
She laughed again and soon Arnold found out that her laughter had become tears. He had hugged her again and from far off it looked like their bodies moulded into one. Her face was buried deep into his shoulder as her body shook with the violent sobs. He closed his eyes in pain as he thought about her moving away. His grip became deathly strong, but Helga didn't care.
"Great… The one time I have the guts to spill my guts to the boy I love I have to move." She whispered, more to herself.
Arnold had to stay strong. She needed him, and he was in no position to cry in front of her. That'd give her no comfort; no trust.
"Well, at least you're coming back right?" Arnold asked. He waited for her answer, but nothing came. He began stressing. What if she doesn't come back?
"Helga? You are coming back, right?" Arnold asked and looked down to her.
"Of course." Arnold let out a sigh of relief as he hugged her again.
"And there's always the breaks, right?" Arnold asked.
"Jeez, Arnold?! Can't you be sad with me this one time and drop the optimistic act?" Helga asked irritated, but Arnold felt her grab onto him with more might. He rested his chin on her head and sighed.
"Alright."
"It's not gonna work out…" He heard her mutter.
"It is! We'll make it work. I'll go live with you in an apartment when were done studying. How's that?"
"Still not enough! How can I be apart from you for three years?! I'd rather die!" Helga said panicky.
"Three years?" Arnold paled. Helga nodded.
Silence enveloped them for a while.
"…We'll make it work. I don't know how, but we're gonna make it work." He said solemnly. He felt her nod into his chest.
I found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
Somehow… they were going to work.
Somehow.
That day, that rainy day, Arnold took Helga back to her house. They had said there goodbyes for at least half an hour before he watched her drive off into the rainy street. He was immensely sad, but he knew she'd change for the better and return to him… no matter what. So until then, he'd just have to wait excitedly until she comes back. She didn't have to worry about him between all the girls in Hillwood, because she had stolen his heart more than two months ago. He couldn't wait to tell her how.
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is… you.
I don't usually do angst, but this one was a must! I thought it was appropriate since Helga iskind of an angsty character. If you listened to it WITH the song, I am greatly grateful and full of gratitude! I you didn't, well, it's not my fault you're missing something incredible. It's yours.
For anyone who doesn't know, The Reason is a song by Hoobastank, and I admit it's a little old. It was brought out in 2005 in SA, and probably a little sooner in America.
REVIEW! I want to know your opinion about this angsty one (ok, I admit that this isn't as angsty for those who LIVE on angst, but I don't do angst. I'm not an angsty person. So if you are, sorry that it wasn't that much angst that you were expecting).