The Prompt:
FemShep/Liara - Shared Dreams
Basically, I want FemShep and Liara to be asleep together in their double bed and, through Liara unwittingly using her melding abilities as she slumbers, the pair begin to share dreams.
Can be fluffy, smutty, whatever. Go nuts, anons!
The Fill:
Old War-Dreams
by: Walt Whitman (1819-1892)
In midnight sleep of many a face of anguish,
Of the look at first of the mortally wounded, (of that indescribable look,)
Of the dead on their backs with arms extended wide,
I dream, I dream, I dream.
Of scenes of Nature, fields and mountains,
Of skies so beauteous after a storm, and at night the moon so
unearthly bright,
Shining sweetly, shining down, where we dig the trenches and
gather the heaps,
I dream, I dream, I dream.
Long have they pass'd, faces and trenches and fields,
Where through the carnage I moved with a callous composure, or away
from the fallen,
Onward I sped at the time-but now of their forms at night,
I dream, I dream, I dream.
Perhaps sleeping literally on top of the Commander was the reason why their bond formed while neither was even awake.
It had never happened before, when they'd slept together. Or at least it had never happened that Liara was conscious of.
…though that would explain her previous dreams of having those three or four little asari children, running around that apartment on Illium. An apartment filled with Shepard's things, such as stacks of model ships and several schools of fish in the aquarium that had come with the place. And all those dreams of her sitting in the cramped Mako, praying for whatever higher power to let her live while Shepard was behind the wheel, doing impossible flips that ended with them trapped in a crevasse.
She remembered smelling Shepard's hair, something smoky in it from playing poker with the crew, the feel of her body, solid and bony in places. Every freckle and scar she knew well enough to trace in the dark. Then falling asleep with her cheek against the swell of a breast.
She knew where she was immediately.
For the first time, Liara saw more than the vids and stories from the Blitz, her own imagination of what had happened. She was there, tasting fear in the back of her throat, already having given up that she would live past this, but wanting only not to fuck this up, please God. Her body, her human body, cringing away from its own mortality. The ships above, pirates, slavers, the warlords, hating them and how tiny she was, as she lost another crew member.
Shepard didn't seem to have noticed their melding, even in their sleep.
Liara was afraid to tell her, to put more strain on her. She still slept more with the Commander next to her, even as she'd awake in the middle of the night to slip away, drink tea and work until morning came and Shepard stomped downstairs with crazed hair, wanting a cuddle and coffee.
So she saw herself, from Jane's eyes, their first meeting. A dozen times of her stuttering, the dig site falling around them. Times where she was crushed beneath falling rubble, where the metal snapped before she could get across, with her falling into Shepard's arms, both safe.
Then she was on the Collector ship, a place none of the crew members talked about much. It dead inside. Then the realization of what this ship as it become alive with the thrum of Collectors. Harbinger.
The Omega-4 Relay, the Collector Base. Sending her crew one by one, wanting to believe they could make it through this, sure they would all die in this place, counting down how much ammo she had left with every shot. The peace that came with deciding she would die here, Liara's face in a frame flashing before her eyes every second, wishing that she'd said something more, but there would never have been enough time.
She'd awoken with that one with a cry, reaching for the body besides her. Jane herself startled awake, either by the dream, or by her lover grabbing her. Pulling limbs beneath the sheets, wanting to know that Shepard was alive and that Shepard knew she was alive.
Her mother, alive again as Liara became only ten again, twenty, and afraid to even move from her side, sure she would disappear if let out of sight. Beautiful and impossibly tall, "it's alright Little Wing, I'll never leave you." Liara awoke with her pillow wet, and saw tears rolling down Shepard's face, pained as she slept.
Perhaps she'd probed back, since the following night she finally saw Hannah in more than just clips from the extranet and the news. A calm face, the same nose, dark hair greying, but younger. Firm mouth trembling and tears in blue eyes. "I'm sorry Jane, he slipped away in the night."
Their fathers the next week. Her excitement to see Shepard's nearly waking her up. A tall man, well-built, green-eyed with high cheekbones and a longer nose and thicker jawline. "Aw, Jane, please don't shoot that thing in the house."
Liara learning who her own father was, and being very taken aback. This was her mother's bondmate? Her voice was cigarettes and harsh laughter in a bar…and her own father had been a krogan? Brown eyes taking her in. "Hey there kid, you look like you could use a stiff one. No pun intended."
That something that she could never share with Shepard. That Jane only had an inkling about, from the Union, and had reassured her about before.
Frightening, to let those fears seep through. It was the last thing she wanted to do to Shepard. How many times, when awakening, had she wanted to clutch her lover's hand, and tell her, But I do want that Shepard. I do.
She'd seen herself in Tuchanka, giving birth on that dying, brown world. Flames lit around them, that Reaper standing over, the entire world shaking. Her baby born with a push that didn't seem to come from her, slipping between her legs, Shepard holding that gun she'd used to kill that Reaper, screaming at something, the fleet above, the baby not screaming, silent, and grey and cold as Jane had been.
Them on the side of the road, somewhere on the rebuilding Thessia, far from the refugee camp. Cruelly, Shepard had been driving the Mako, and had turned the tank on its side, broken it, finally. Jane, bleeding from a head wound, between her legs, telling her to push, Liara, push. Where's the doctor, I need a doctor, please, Shepard, get me a doctor, where are they, where are the others, what have you done, why aren't we there?
At Illium, in that apartment, the windows blown out and leaving shards of glass that she kept wanting to tell Shepard to look out for. I have warm water, and sheets, and the doctor's coming, just hang on. Illium, relatively safe even in this shattered place that she still owned, technically, but no longer wanted. Its memories were cold, empty as her bed had been when she'd slept there. Only her office had any fond memories, such as winning, beating others at their own game, and Shepard coming back to her arms. Their kiss.
On the Normandy, safe, secure, with their friends around her, making sure she was fine. Docter Chakwas there, to make sure everything was okay. Their baby held in Shepard's arms, she's so tiny, her crest's are so squishy. Look at her. A small hand tugged at that red hair, cooing as she'd so recently seen a baby turian do as it reached for its mother. Green eyes in both faces.
Did you see that Shepard? She was curled on her side, leg raised, drooling into the pillow and nearly onto her own wild mussed hair. Dressed only in the sheet thrown over her.
Liara wrapped a hand around the slim bare waist. I hope you saw that.
In time, the asari found if she conscious went to sleep thinking about what she wanted to dream, that at least she could separate herself from Shepard. At the Blitz again, only this time she was there besides the Commander, and helping her fight. Raising a child in some very Earth background, green grass and a small modest house that must have come from one of Jane's memories, an asari child in a yellow sundress.
The worst might have been seeing a brother that Jane had lost and apparently never spoke of. A "Johnny, don't poke me, no way you can climb higher," with blue eyes and dark brown hair, older than her Shepard by several years. Grinning at her besides their place on a tree branch, his wide grin nothing like Jane's own crooked one, watching with horror that both Liara and the spectre felt, as he became climbing, and no matter what, neither could stop him. Together they watched his hands slipping from the bark, and felt themselves twisting, falling to catch him. The sound he made they both suffered through, their own crash not felt.
Until Liara woke from that one, with a scream held behind her teeth. She'd had to leave the bed, running to the bathroom to go into the soundproof shower to weep. Why had Jane never spoken of him? But she didn't dare ask what exactly had happened. Shepard's very early life she knew so little about, so little documented when she'd been only a little girl switching from ship to ship.
Liara saw the Earth being torn away. Of that fight on London, both being separated again. The Illusive Man, always smoking and far away. Anderson growing still. A child that had John's coloring dying. She almost saw what had happened to Shepard after they'd gotten separated, and they'd found her in the remains of the Conduit.
When Shepard seemed to conscious realize what was happening, she kicked Liara awake, knocking over datapads that inevitably ended up in their bed. And knocked over a lamp with a flailing arm. She'd been patiently suffering through a wonderful dream of them naked, swimming in a pool literally filled with chocolate and having to use marshmallows as boats. They needed something stupid and pointless right now. Jane was happily gnawing her way through the hull, when the chocolate seemed to dry up. Turning solid and pale brown, and she knew what was happening very quickly. Back here, again.
She might have steered things in a different direction, such as them on the beach or back in her office at Illium, making up for lost time, but for the look of sheer terror growing on Shepard's face. Which, combined with a candy cane in her hair and the marshmallow fluff on her face, was almost comical.
"Liara? You shouldn't be here. And especially not naked. Is that chocolate?"
"Yes. Jane. We're not really here. Wait. Are you here? Consciously?"
"Huh?"
"In our meld. We've been sharing dreams lately."
"Oh. Can we get out of here? Bad enough to be in this place when I was armored. And armed. How long have we been sharing memories?"
"A month now?"
"Oh. That explains some things. Wait. Hang on. Goddamnit, you were having bad dreams and not telling me? And why wouldn't you tell me about this melding thing? Shit, did you see when your Dad took a bunch of us out for a 'bachelor' party?"
"I was afraid you'd leave. Sleep on the couch so you wouldn't feel you were inflicting bad memories on me."
"Hey. I'm the war veteran here. You'd go sleep on the couch." Shepard reached out for her, to pull her in. "I'm sorry. Bad dreams are kind of a professional hazard."
"I know. I do. I am sorry."
"I'm the one that dragged you here."
"I meant, about…everything."
"So, you did see the bachelor party?"
"Parts of it. As I said, I didn't want you to feel bad for inflicting bad memories. She had my half-sister take me and half the crew out."
"Hm. So that weird foam party was from your brain? With all those stripper. Should I be offended that you kept looking at that red-haired one?"
"Yes. The—" The boy. Is that where you got that scar? Will we see him again, tomorrow night? "That was a long night."
"I think I'd prefer to be there than in this place."
Liara kissed a smear of chocolate off her chin, "I'll show you."
Jane held her face in her hands. "Did you see the Blitz? Did you see Eden Prime? Do you see him, Liara, did you see that child?"
"It was no child. I saw your battles. And the Collector base. When Mordin died. When Legion died. When you thought you lost Grunt. When Kaidan died. I saw your family, Shepard. When you left us behind on London."
Those green eyes slid closed, face going slack. The hands falling to her side. "I don't want to dream about any of that again. It's over."
Liara couldn't promise that. She could only touch Shepard's hair and ask her, "Did you see our daughter?"
Jane smiled, even if she kept her eyes closed. Trying not to pull her partner into her dreams of death. Their words so loud in this tomb that had held so many. "Yes. Of course."
"Did you see her dress? Her smile? When she called you 'Dad'? And do you remember our house? On Earth, wasn't it? The sky was blue."
"Something I saw from a holovid, when I was a kid. I grew up on ships and stations."
"Do you remember her laughter? Pushing her on a swing? Let's go there, Shepard. And everyone will be there, with us. Both of our parents, and all our friends."
She'd begun to cry, as Liara touched her face. "And John."
"Everyone. I swear. They'll be there."