Paradise

To say life was a bit chaotic would be something of a major understatement. Trying to get anywhere remotely on time had become something of an extreme sport but then anyone with kids to sort would probably agree never mind trying to sort a toddler a teenager and two kids out. Still despite it all she wouldn't change it, they'd had a down right awful time these past few years and were just grateful to have the life they had now. After Andrew dying she never expected to be where she is now, the guilt over his death pushed her into depression not to mention the guilt surrounding the fact that he wasn't Pauls dad. It was her own mother who'd convinced her to be honest to Charlie about Paul then of course it wasn't long after that when she took ill and died shortly after. It felt like they'd just recovered and got themselves and the kids settled when it all changed again in the most horrible unexpected way, Baz dying which of course opened up a custody battle for Louis which they eventually won nearly a year ago now. It had taken a long time but she finally felt that they were in a good place, the kids were all as happy as could be expected in school and at home. It wasn't an easy adaption for any of them well bar Paul who was still too young to really be affected. They'd dealt with weeks if not months of disagreeing and fighting from Louis which Peter took badly to resulting in a lot of arguments. It wasn't as if her own boys didn't understand how Louis felt but they'd dealt with it very differently and as she reminded them they didn't have to move countries on top of losing their dad. All the same she suspected what finally settled everything down was Louis and Jake eventually bonding over a mutual understanding of each other. How it happened didn't really matter she was just glad she didn't have a house full of arguments every few days, they'd have enough of that to cope with when Jake and Louis hit their teenage years.

For now though she was quite happy to cuddle up with their youngest on the couch, it seemed that Charlie's trip to the park with him whilst his brothers were still at school had really taken it out of him. After a hectic shift she knew how he felt, it was taking all her strength not to fall asleep with him. Still the peace wasn't to last she really needed to move and convince the older boys to do their homework now that dinner was over. Sighing softly she addressed her youngest as he continued to sleep in her arms.

"I think it's bed time young man." Forcing herself up off the couch one handed wasn't easy with a toddler in the other arm not when she felt she wiped out but she managed it. Just. Having managed to get Paul sorted for bed without too much of a fight from him, which he'd started recently to do, she checked on the older three to reassure herself that they were actually doing homework and not on that darn x-box again. Well that was unfair she normally could rely on Peter to do as he was told but now that Louis and Jake got on so well it was like having twins, they were always up to something.

Still it seemed like an age before she and Charlie finally had alone time. Whilst changing after her shower she caught a glimpse of her figure in the floor length mirror and sighed. She'd worked hard to get her figure back after Paul but it seemed the stress of the past year had undone all that work despite trying to keep on track. It obviously wasn't working. Walking in the room he caught her unimpressed face as she remained in front of the mirror although why she was so frustrated he couldn't understand.

"What's wrong?" Sighing again she turned to face her partner.

"Why didn't you tell me I'd got so fat?" His face was a picture that was for sure, what on earth was she on about?

"What?! You are not fat!" Shaking his head he continued into the bedroom while she continued to argue with him but he wasn't taking any heed of her. He'd quickly learnt that Duffy's mind was very warped when it came to her figure, like most women, she always seemed to find flaws that simply were not there. But it wasn't like her to complain she was fat as by no stretch of the imagination was she even close. If anything lately she appeared healthier than she had done these past few years. She was happy not fat but trying to get that in her head was not going to be easy.

Having spoke to her for a considerable length of time in order to convince her she was seeing things and look great he'd eventually gave up and simply distracted her instead. She wasn't fooled, she knew his game but once his hands started wandering her mind became foggy and she quickly forget her point. He was terrible for that when it suited him, still she often got her own back eventually. She shouldn't complain. Now cuddled up in bed his hands were still not behaving themselves as they reached her bare breasts but it felt different than normal. Charlie was definitely a bum man but that didn't mean he didn't like paying them attention now and again, still tonight it wasn't pleasurable. She'd noticed earlier but now it was definitely a no go. Wincing she quickly swatted his hands off.

"Ouch. Don't." Confused he moved his hands around her waist.

"Sore? That's not like you." When she was wasn't forthcoming with a reply he couldn't resist adding through a laugh. "'First you're complaining about your weight and now sore breasts. Is this some subtle way of telling me you're pregnant?" Duffy however didn't find it funny, that was the last thing they needed.

"Charlie that is not..." Before she could finish telling her partner off she suddenly started to panic. On top of her weight and being sore she was exhausted not to mention she had a stomach bug last week. Well she thought that's what it was. "Oh god." Pulling herself out of his hold she sat straight up, trying to calm herself down.

"Duffy I'm kidding..." Shaking her head at him she was failing considerably at calming down.

"What if I am? I'm on the pill, I didn't even consider it. But I've been sick, I'm tired, putting on weight, sore breasts. Why didn't I think?!" Taking in a quick breath as she quickly approached a panic attack she added "I can't do it again. We just can't."