Chapter 1 Author's Notes...
Summary: Alexandria Moreno has always believed in love, but can never seem to find some for herself. Now that's she's found who she believes is her soul mate, nothing can ruin it, right? Unfortunately after a bad idea gets the better of her she finds herself in a predicament where she fears she very well might lose him. How will she explain? Will he understand? And will Alex finally get the happy ending she's always dreamed of? Set in Alex's POV. Rated Teen for sexual situations, may go up, and for language.
Okay y'all, this is a little something i threw together lately. It's AU, but it's the AU version of my version, not JKR's version... u know what, i'm confusing myself and i'm sure i'm confusing you so i'll cut to the chase. This would basically be what happened if Harry hadn't left Alex after Dumbledore's funeral. Okay now that that's been established, i don't own the world of Harry Potter and all the awesome characters in it, they are the brilliant creations of JKR and i as much as i wish i had come up with them, i didn't. But i do own Alex, Dominik, Ana, Rory, Enrique, Cristina and all the rest of the characters u don't recognize.
I'm digresssing again. Anyway, i know this chapter is a little short but this is the only place i could see to break it off for a while so... ya. Read it already, sheesh.
-mmb (mystrymoviebrunette) Ok, i'm so sorry i didn't get this posted yesterday but i had homework to catch up on so that had to take priority (at least that's what my mom told me...) Anyway, i doubt any of u care because no one even read it yesterday except for my home girl, sum nox, but she couldn't review because for some strange reason her account's being funky. Alright, here's the next chapter and sry that the other one was so short. -mmb Oh, and if you're wondering why I have the old author's notes, I just like having them. I think they're fun.
Chapter 2 Author's Notes...
UPDATE 8/14/6: I've decided to merge chapter 1 and 2. They were just too short. So yeah, no major changes, but you might still want to read through it.
Chapter One: Positive/Black and White
Positive...
It has to be wrong, I have to be mistaken. I pick up the pamphlet that came with the test and double check the directions, but I'm not sure why. It's not like I can screw up peeing on a stick. And I'm sure I waited three minutes. And, of course, there's no mistaking the display window symbols; they're pretty self-explanitory. Positive is yes, and negative is no.
I bury my face in my hands and sigh at the irony. Probably all my life, all I've wanted was definitive answers. Sometimes it's nice for it to be so clean cut, for there only to be yes or no answers. Sometimes, all you really want is for there just to be black and white, and for all the varying shades of gray to take a long walk off a short pier.
I roll my eyes. The logical part of my brain (a very small portion) tells me that if I really didn't want to know, I shouldn't have taken the test. Then I tell myself that, despite the fact that I don't want to know, I need to know. Let's face it, if I really am pregnant, I have to go get an exam to make sure the baby and I are healthy and everything. If I really am pregnant, that means I can't drink. Damn, that means no coffee either. That really sucks 'cause I could really use a cup about now. And that means no chocolate either. Wait... does chocolate have caffeine in it?
Hold on. I'm getting sidetracked... again. I always do.
Anyway, like I was saying, sometimes all you want is a straight answer. Like when I was nine.
My dad had been sent away to Azkaban when I was barely even one and I barely knew the guy aside from bedtime stories, a photograph or two and an occasional letter and birthday gift. Then, I asked my mom if Dad was going to come to my tenth birthday party (which happened to be approaching). Mom kinda gave a sad strained smile and said, "I hope so, mi higa."
I hope so? What the hell was that supposed to mean? Definitely not the answer I was hoping for.
Then when Mom got sick, the doctors would always tell us things were looking good and that they were hopeful for Mom's recovery. The thing is, she just kept getting worse. I wanted to believe what they were saying, but after a while I couldn't deny that it was a load of bullshit. Everyday, Mom got weaker and paler and sicker. Even worse, Mom gave up. Mom refused to eat and couldn't sleep and was always depressed. And after what happened, I can't blame her. I still to this day believe that it killed her.
I finally decided to just ask the doctor if she was going to die. He gave me the smile Mom had given me and said, "We're doing the best we can. We'll do anything we can to help save your mom."
The best they could? This was the best they could? There was a woman in that hospital bed, suffering and dying and they weren't doing anything to make her better.
Mom died soon after that, a couple months before my eleventh birthday.
Then when I was thirteen, I met my dad for the first time. I'd been going to Hogwarts for three years already, I'd made friends and they helped me find him (even if they didn't know it). I got to visit with him that summer and asked him if he meant to hurt Mom when he sent her that letter, because she got sick soon after she'd received it. He screwed up his face and tried to smile, but it only made him look like he was in pain. All I got from him was, "I love your mother, even now that she's gone... probably more than you will ever know. Everything I did, I did for her."
That was it. I'd had it with this bullshit. He'd done that for her? It killed her, what he'd done. All the repressed anger and feelings I hadn't been able to tell anyone boiled over and before I realized what I was doing, I found myself on my feet, yelling, "You didn't do this for her! You did it for yourself! This was a cowardly man's way of getting out of a marriage he didn't want! How can you sit there and lie and say you loved her and that letter was written in her best interest! That letter... it, it broke her heart! It killed her!"
My point, before I somehow end up on the subject of roasting water buffalo, is that all those times I wanted a yes or no answer. I would've done anything for a clear answer. But now I don't want it. I realize now that those answers were their way of protecting me, of shielding me from all the pain the black and white answer would bring. I realize now that all their answers were true: Mom really did want Dad to be at my birthday party, even if she knew he wouldn't; the doctor really meant that he'd do everything in his power to save her, even if he knew there was nothing left to do; and Dad really did love Mom and that letter was written so she would be happy, just like he said, but he knew the letter was going to hurt her, just not to the magnitude it did. They just didn't want to take away all my hope, which is what a yes or no does. It takes away all hope that it might be other answer. Sometimes you hear what you want to hear, somtimes you don't. But when you hear what you don't want to hear, there's no hope that it could be what you want.
Can you say 'ironic'?
Chapter 1 Author's Notes...
Okay, u know the drill: read, review and stay tuned for the next chapter.
Alright, i admit, that was a little cheezy, but if you wanna read this story u have to put up with my cheeziness. :)
Peace, Love, and Granola Bars,
mmb
Chapter 2 Author's Notes...
Did u like it? Please?
Well anyway i hope to have another chapter up by Monday, 4/24.
Good Night and Good Luck,
mmb