James took his friendships very seriously. Too seriously, some might say, but he was proud of it. He knew everything about his friends and he always made sure to pay attention to the little things that let him know when his friends needed help, even if they didn't say it out loud.
So for a long time, James had known that his two closest friends needed him.
It wasn't hard to realize; like the way Sirius fiddled with his hair when Remus was around, or the way Remus got really quiet when Sirius was telling a story. The lingering smiles whenever one of them entered the room and the meaningful stares when they thought James wasn't paying attention.
But James was always paying attention.
He had waited for a while to see if they'd be able to work this out on their own, because it was one thing to help one friend with something silly like helping them study or getting them through a bad mood. It was another thing entirely to make two of his friends see that they should get together.
But enough time had passed without any acknowledgment on their part, and James was getting tired of waiting. So he decided that the night of his birthday party was the perfect opportunity, he just needed to wait until everybody else left and ask Sirius and Remus to hang around, as they usually did anyway, and make them see how perfect they were for each other.
It was nearly midnight and the party was in full swing. Marlene was teaching Peter how to dance because he'd been meaning to ask out Alice for about six months now, when it was clear that she was head over heels for Frank. Dorcas and Lily were serving the third round of shots and spilling half the firewhiskey in the process, which was fine by James because he wanted to be somewhat alert tonight for his big plan.
He popped a crisp into his mouth as his eyes landed on Remus, talking to Kingsley and laughing brightly. His cheeks were that usual shade of red after having a couple of drinks and he bit his lower lip to keep from laughing more. James smiled.
On the other side of the room, Sirius was on the process of changing the music, and as he looked through the pile of longplays his head nodded to the rhythm of the current song and his hips swayed from side to side. James tore his eyes away just in time to accept a half-full shot glass from Lily.
"Thanks." He smiled at her, feeling suddenly warm.
"Hey, lighten up," Lily told him. "It's your party!"
The rest of the shots were distributed and Lily raised hers. "To James!"
The others mimicked her actions, and James caught the sneaky glance Sirius shot Remus before they both shouted, "To James!"
James poured the shot down his throat and welcomed the burn. He was so glad he would finally get those two together.
About three hours later- or so James thought, it was hard to keep track of time after five shots- they were saying goodbye to Peter and Lily, the last ones to go home.
"Make sure to tuck him in nicely," Sirius told Lily. "He falls off his bed when he's this drunk."
Lily glared at him. "Wanker. You should be the one taking Peter home."
Sirius shrugged. "Sorry. I'm too wasted."
James had seen Sirius about ten times more wasted than this, but he wasn't going to say anything.
As Remus helped Peter stand on the floo, Lily hugged James goodbye. "I know what you're doing tonight," she whispered in his ear and James' stomach dropped for no good reason. "And I think it's great."
She smiled before stepping into the floo with Peter and waving goodbye to the others, and in a flash of green they were gone.
"Good luck to Lily," Remus said with a sigh as he threw himself on the sofa.
Sirius laughed and sat on the carpet next to Remus, placing his head near Remus' hand in an obvious attempt to get him to pet his hair.
Which always worked.
James' heart started beating faster and faster the more he looked at them. They were so at peace and unknowingly in love with each other, he almost couldn't take it.
He sat on the arm chair across them and sighed. "Thank Merlin for that firewhiskey that Frank brought from Ireland."
Remus nodded. "I'd it hadn't been such good quality I'd be getting sick in every room of your house right now."
"I feel just as drunk as with any other alcohol," Sirius said with a sleepy grin.
"That's because your body is used to rubbish." Remus patted his head condescendingly.
There was a quiet but comfortable silence in which James kept repeating in his head possible phrases to introduce the subject.
"So," Sirius interrupted his thought process. "What shall we do now?"
They both looked at James as if he should be the one to decide, and his internal monologue began to ramble incoherently. Why was he having so much trouble with words? It was the best thing he did in front of Remus and Sirius; talk for hours and days, talk and laugh until his throat was raw, talk about everything and… Anything.
He cleared his throat. "Talk?"
Sirius and Remus looked at one another. "Never done that before," Sirius teased.
"Shut up." James rolled his eyes. "Like you don't like to talk."
Remus snickered.
"And like you don't like to listen," James continued, looking at Remus.
Remus eyed James curiously, as if he could perceive that something was going on. "And what do you like to do, then?"
Sirius seemed very interested in this answer, as he sat up straighter and opened his tired eyes more.
"I...uh," James began, with no clear idea on how to finish the thought. "Like to watch you?"
It came out entirely different from what James had been trying to say, but he couldn't take it back now and the other were already laughing. His cheeks felt hot.
"Thank Merlin at least you know you like something," Sirius said, a smile still plastered on his face. "We were beginning to think you lost all your tastes."
James frowned. "What do you mean?"
Sirius sat up even more and Remus' hand dropped from his head. "It's just that...mate, you haven't even mentioned anyone in the almost two years since you and Lily broke up. Are you even interested in people anymore?"
James thought about that for a second. It wasn't that he wasn't interested in people, he's just been very busy with everything, like moving out of his parents' house and getting into Auror training and then dropping out of Auror training…
"I am." He said simply, not really being able to imagine anyone in particular, he hadn't really hung out with new people this past year, just a lot of Remus and Sirius.
"So let us help you, then," Remus said perking up. "What's your type?"
Sirius stopped Remus. "Don't ask him that. We should know that, he's our best friend."
"Oh, really?" Remus asked with his trademark skepticism. "So you know what's my type too, then?"
"Yes," both Sirius and James answered at the same time. They looked at each other with the same smile as when they were about to do something that would definitely land them in Mcgonagall's office, and then back at Remus. James left his seat and sat on the carpet next to Sirius.
"You like dark hair and even darker pop-culture references," James said first.
"Someone tall, with self-confidence but not too much. 'Trustworthy smiles' whatever that is," Sirius added with a smirk.
James laughed. "Also 'all eyes are beautiful, James, you just have to look for long enough'."
"I was very drunk when I told you that!" Remus said in defense.
"Someone who can switch from funny to serious in the blink of an eye," Sirius said.
"And nice hands. You've got a thing for hands."
"And of course," Sirius announced with finality. "Someone who can keep a secret."
Remus had looked half-way between offended and amused the whole time but now he was smiling earnestly. "I hate you both." He pushed back a strand of hair from James' face. "Also, I don't like the implication that you know more about me than I do you, so come on James, let's do Padfoot."
James ignored the way Sirius' face seemed to get some color.
"Brown eyes!" Remus said triumphantly.
"Damn, I was going to say that one too."
"They're the best color no matter what Moony thinks."
James looked at Sirius, thinking. "Someone who looks hot without trying too hard."
"So his opposite," Remus said with a cheeky smile. "Also good taste in music. And terrible taste in clothes."
Sirius looked like he wanted to chime in again but James cut him off. "Good knowledge in muggle culture. Messy hair."
"A dog person. And of course, complete and utter adoration for James Potter," Remus added.
"Please." James shook his head. "The person he likes needs to put Remus Lupin on a pedestal."
Sirius snorted. "My taste in clothes is impeccable."
James narrowed his eyes. "And maybe someone who is a little bit of an arsehole."
Sirius shoved James slightly with the side of his body, but they were both so tipsy that they ended up tumbling to the floor. Sirius was laughing as he tried not to crush James, but for some reason James couldn't find his laughter.
"Sorry," James said placing a hand on his head as Remus helped them both sit up. "I must be drunker than I thought."
Sirius stood up with surprising speed for someone who had claimed to be wasted. "I'll get you some water."
Remus reached out and straightened James' spectacles. "Of course, if you can't even see properly." His fingers trailed up his nose and forehead and into his hair and James unwittingly closed his eyes at the touch. Sirius knew what he was doing when he got Remus to always run his hands through his hair.
"Here," Sirius' voice announced and James opened his eyes and backed away from Remus awkwardly. Sirius was smiling warmly as he handed him the water.
"Thanks." James drank some water and wondered how he had gotten so off track his original purpose. But maybe at least they had realized that the things they most liked in other people were exactly the things the other had.
Sirius sat on the sofa next to Remus, leaving James alone down on the carpet. They looked ridiculously good together, he couldn't believe how they didn't see it.
"And now…" Sirius said as he grabbed Remus' hand, and James' heart sped up with anticipation. "You."
James blinked a couple of times.
"Someone who can easily kick your arse," Remus began, counting with his free hand. "And with the ability to scare you."
James shivered even though it wasn't cold.
Sirius barked a loud laugh. "Yeah, in general someone very bold and daring."
"But at the same time, someone that isn't cold or aloof, for the sake of James' soft heart."
He really tried to be offended by that.
"And with better hair than him. Look at Evans," Sirius said and shook his head to make his own long locks whip around dramatically.
"Then red hair too?" Remus asked Sirius.
Sirius shrugged. "Probably."
James tried to remember what red hair looked like, but he couldn't really picture it right then.
Remus giggled and puckered up his lips at Sirius "So a pretty mouth too."
Sirius played along, facing Remus and batting his eyelashes several times. "Lovely eyes."
He knew they were making fun of him, but seeing them being so silly and have so much fun just made him warm inside. He found himself smiling and moving closer to them.
"And and…" Remus' laughter trailed off. "Nice skin." He unconsciously touched one of his scars on his forearm like he did sometimes when he was feeling self-conscious. James's heart was threatening to beat out of his chest.
"Stop!" James got to his feet, his head swimming with the effort but the weight on his shoulders even more intense. Sirius and Remus looked taken aback, and their hands untangled as if this was what had bothered James. "Stop talking about me, this was supposed to be about you!"
Sirius' head tilted to the side. James usually loved it when he did that but right now it made his stomach hurt. "About us? What are you talking about?"
James hesitated for a moment, but now there was nothing to do but come clean. "You two should be together! It's so obvious and I just wanted you two to see it!"
Remus and Sirius looked at each other for longer than what felt necessary, more secretive than usual, more comfortably than what James had expected, and far closer than before…
James was such an idiot. He had been misinterpreting the signals for months; all that he thought was a mistake was actually intentional, everything that seemed suggestive was clear and in his face, and if anyone was being oblivious it was only him.
He shouldn't have felt as sad as he did. This was what he had wanted, right?
They looked back at him, slowly. "James…"
"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked accusingly. He was only angry because they kept him in the dark, that was it.
Remus stood up too. "It hasn't been going on for as long as you think. We haven't even done... It's just that…"
"We realized something," Sirius cut in Remus' rambling, standing up as well. "And I think tonight you realized it too."
The only thing James realized was that his best friends didn't trust him as much as he thought. "Have you kissed?"
The words out of his mouth shocked him. He hadn't meant to ask that in the slightest, he didn't even know he had been thinking about it, but now it was there in the open and he felt like the biggest fool in the planet. Why would Sirius wait even a second to kiss Remus if he had him? Why would Remus waste his time not kissing Sirius every time they were alone?
They nodded and this time they did blush a little.
This time James felt the words coming, his insides desperate to get them out, it was terrifying and exhilarating at the same time.
"Can I see?"
Remus grabbed Sirius' hand so fast it was like a reflex, and their eyes grew wide but not scared. They turned slowly to face each other, Sirius' hand trembling as he reached up to Remus' face, and in the heart-stopping seconds before their lips touched, they smiled.
James was feeling elated and guilty, content but disappointed, realized but alone. He wasn't being fair to them by letting his own confusing feelings get in the way of being happy for them. They looked like the most perfect puzzle fitting together, with Remus' stubble against Sirius' smooth face, his hair falling over Remus' eyes and their hands finding each other. James' heart raced harder again. He couldn't look away as much as he wanted to.
They pulled apart.
"Sorry," James said, getting some distance from them. "I shouldn't have. I shouldn't have done so many things, like ask you to stay here, and try to get you together when obviously-"
"When obviously we want to be with you too, you nitwit!" Remus all but shouted.
James froze. He opened his mouth in an attempt to ask 'what' but he couldn't even manage one word.
"What we realized was that we wanted you too." Sirius sighed and walked closer to James. "That's why we didn't tell you anything. Because we thought you were not ready for anything yet. And we understand…"
James was still frozen, so he only blinked.
Remus walked over too. "You are so blind, Prongs," Remus said with endearment. "You think so much about others that you forget to pay attention to what's happening to you."
He couldn't say anything, not yet.
"Maybe we should go?" Sirius asked, his voice lowered. "Give you some time to process?"
"No."
That word was easy to say. He could say more. "Don't go."
They smiled in relief. "You want me to hold your hand?" Sirius asked, like he knew him, like he was sure James liked that kind of support, like he was his best friend.
James nodded and Sirius took his hand.
"You want a hug?" Remus asked as well. Like he understood him, like he knew how much James liked hugs, like he was his best friend.
James nodded again and Remus stepped in and wrapped his hands around his middle. He was warm and his hair smelled like the smoke from the fireplace at his house. Standing like this between them was the least confused James had felt the entire evening.
That is, until he started being aware of Remus' breathing in his ear, and his fingers clinging to the fabric of James' clothes, and the feel of their faces so close together.
James knew what he wanted.
He started to pull apart carefully, just enough to be able to look at Remus, and he was about to ask if this was okay when Remus leaned in and pressed his lips against James'. It barely lasted a breath, but it was all James needed.
He started laughing once they separated, softly and slowly though he didn't understand why. Remus, his Remus, his Moony had just kissed him. It didn't feel real.
"Damn it Moony, you broke him," Sirius said while shaking his head. "And now I want to kiss him."
James turned towards Sirius. "Sorry Sirius, I just don't think-"
"Oh shit, sorry I just thought that… " Sirius let go of his hand and stepped back, his face showing obvious signs of hurt. "I understand, sorry."
James broke into a smile and threw himself at Sirius, wrapping his arms around his neck and crashing their lips together. It took Sirius less than a second to catch on and pull James closer. He tasted of firewhiskey and Moony and the only thing better than the kiss was how James felt his sudden sadness melt away.
"You're the worst," Sirius told him when he let him go.
"I know." James smiled wider, unable to contain himself despite the lingering confusion at the pit of his stomach. He wasn't sure if all of this was really happening or if he blacked out and this was just a very lucid dream. Only the morning would tell.
He reached out to Remus and brought him in too, the three of them close, not unlike other times before. Anyone who knew them wouldn't be surprised to find them huddled together in a mess of limbs and smiles. But this time felt like a first for James.
"But you're the best."