Ok, this is my first venture into Torchwood fan fiction so please be nice! The plot bunnies forced me to write this, those little dudes can be mean!
Disclaimer: I do not own torchwood or any of the characters. The song used is called 'Fucktoy' written by my friend Meghan. I just thought it fitted Jack and Ianto really well!
Jack looked around him in appreciation as he sipped his beer. This was a nice little club, he really didn't know why he'd never come here before. He thought he had vague recollections of Ianto, or maybe Owen, telling him it was a dive; but that couldn't be right, surely? It seemed like a decent place.
Ok, so some of the live music left a lot to be desired. But most of it was pretty good; Jack almost wished he'd found some of these kids back in his 20's when he ran that talent agency on Jupiter. But, alas, humans being able to live on the planet's surface were centuries away yet; so the majority of the talented youngsters were more than likely going to disappear forever into an accounting job, rather than getting signed.
Jack shook his head. That thought was a little too depressing. He was meant to be having fun. It had been a bad day at torchwood; first a Weevil had come up from the sewers and killed four people, and then once that had been sorted out Ianto yelled at him for no reason Jack could fathom before storming off. He hadn't answered his mobile since then either, even when Jack borrowed Gwen's phone in case Ianto was screening his calls.
"And that was 'Blue-ray' with their song 'One Of Us'! and now, folks, it's what most of you have been waiting to see, the one and only, DAVID HALLETT!"
Jack applauded with the rest of the crowd, but his mind wasn't on the singer. They weren't who he'd come to see, so he couldn't really care less as long as they could sing. He picked up his phone and checked messages again, but there were none from Ianto. It was only 3 minutes since he last checked. Jack mentally slapped himself, he was behaving like a lovesick teenager for crying out loud! Jack drained his glass and decided that if he was going to get drunk, he could do it cheaper back at the Hub. He stood up to leave when the guy on stage spoke.
"Thanks Mike. This is a song I wrote about someone very special to me who treats me bad."
Everyone cheered and clapped as he began the first chords on his guitar, but Jack barely heard them. It couldn'tbe…he turned his head to the stage and his eyes widened in shock. It was! It was Ianto!
He sat down again, eyes glued to the figure on stage, as Ianto began to sing.
"You never stay the night boy,
Just get out of my bed,
Why don't you understand these feelings,
Running through my head?
I know I'm just some fun for you,
But you don't understand.
My feelings for you run so deep,
I'm under your command.
.
Don't wanna be your fucktoy, fucktoy.
But it's all you're giving me,
Don't wanna be your fucktoy, fucktoy,
But I'm not strong enough to leave.
.
I know you always look at her,
Don't think that I don't see.
I'd kill that bitch if it could mean,
That's the way you looked at me.
So many ways I'd like to die,
But it wouldn't do no good.
I don't know how to make you cry,
And wouldn't if I could.
.
Don't wanna be your fucktoy, fucktoy.
But it's all you're giving me,
Don't wanna be your fucktoy, fucktoy,
But I'm not strong enough to leave.
.
Cant you see I love you?
Do you even care?
Or am I just the one you call
When there's no-one better in your bed?
When I thought of you and me together,
This wasn't what I planned,
You never put your arm around me,
Never even hold my hand.
.
Don't wanna be your fucktoy, fucktoy.
But it's all you're giving me,
Don't wanna be your fucktoy, fucktoy,
But I'm not strong enough to leave.
Don't wanna be your fucktoy, fucktoy.
But it's all you're giving me,
Don't wanna be your fucktoy, fucktoy,
And it's killing me."
The crowd went wild. Jack felt as though someone was squeezing his insides. Ianto really was an amazing singer, and it was a good song, but…was it about him? Was that really how Ianto thought he saw him? He got up quickly as Ianto spoke into the microphone. Jack didn't hear what he said but it must have been good because the majority of people laughed and cheered. As Jack was walking past one of the tables he heard someone say "God, if he wasn't gay I'd so have him. Whoever this guy is n the song, he must be brain damaged."
Jack turned back to the stage as he reached the door. Ianto raised a hand as he walked offstage, scanning the crowd so as to include all of them in the wave.
And then he saw Jack.
The half smile he'd had on his face vanished instantly, and Jack could see him turning red under the lights. Ok, the song was definitely about him then. Fuck.
Jack waited outside besides the singer's entrance. He didn't have to wait long before Ianto appeared.
"I didn't know you could sing." Jack said to his retreating back.
Ianto stiffened and spun around. "Jack! What…what're you doing here?"
"I couldn't find anywhere…hold on. Is that why you told me to avoid this place? How often do you sing here?"
Ianto shrugged, embarrassed. "About three or four times a week."
"Wow. And how many of those songs are about me?"
Ianto instantly turned scarlet. "I…um, I….how…who says I…I sing about you?"
"So you're saying that in there wasn't about me?"
"I…" Ianto swallowed nervously, then turned and walked away.
"Ianto!"
He didn't turn around. Jack hurried after him, grabbing his arm and spinning him round. "Is that really all you think of me? That I think you're some sort of toy?"
"Aren't I, Jack?"
"No!"
"When was the last time we went on a date? Or the last time you stayed over at my place?"
"I…I just…"
"You…weren't supposed to hear that song."
"Oh, that makes it ok! Jeez, Yan, were you ever going to tell me you felt like that?" Jack hesitated as one of the lines of the song came back to him. "Yan…how much of that song was real?"
"I don't want to…"
"The last verse, Yan." Jack said quietly, watching Ianto for a reaction.
The younger man was almost literally shaking with embarrassment. "You weren't supposed to be here." he mumbled.
"So…you love me?"
"Jack, please."
"You're going to get hurt, Ianto."
"You think I don't know that?" Ianto snapped. "You think I don't wish I didn't feel this way?"
Jack was silent for a few seconds. "I told you months ago, Yan. I cant love you, it isn't fair. On you or me. I don't want to fall in love with anyone. Not letting myself get that close…it's the right thing to do."
"I see." Ianto blinked rapidly, and Jack realised he was holding back tears. "I guess I'll see you at work. Oh, and Jack? Could you…not mention this to the others? The singing, I mean."
"Wouldn't dream of it." Jack watched the Welshman walk away, knowing this would be the last time either of them mentioned this night. Fucking hell, Jack Harkness. You've done it this time… "Ianto, wait!"
The younger man turned. "Jack?"
"I've never been any good at doing the right thing."
"Jack, what're you…?"
"I love you. I know I shouldn't, I know it's just gonna mean a hell of a lot of hurt for both of us, but I do. I cant help it."
"Jack…"
"I am so sorry Yan, if I've ever made you feel like that." Jack gestured back at the club to indicate the song, "because you mean more to me then anyone I've met since being stranded here."
"Please don't…if you don't mean…"
"I do mean it, Yan." Jack cupped the younger man's face in his hands and kissed him softly on the lips, "I mean it more than I've ever meant anything. The thought of you not being here literally terrifies me."
"What about Gwen?"
Jack frowned, then let out a laugh. "Seriously? Gwen's the 'her' in the song? Ianto, how could you possibly think I'd choose her over you?"
"I…you always seem so…" he took a breath. "The way you are with her. The way you reacted when she refused to Ret-Con Rhys. I just thought…"
"You thought wrong." Jack said firmly, kissing him again. "Now, come on. I think it's time I finally spent the night at your place, don't you?"
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