Author's a note: This is cross-posted to Ao3. Heads up, this is M/F, there's masturbatory anal play involving a dildo, vivid description of a sexual fantasy, and mature language. Pretty much just PWP. (Important stuff bolded for your convenience.) There's also minimal editing done. This is the next in installment in a series of oneshots for each episode. Look out for the next installment, Conversations Until 3a.m. I only recently got into the posting of fanfic again, so bear with me as a get into the swing of it.

You know what sucks about being watched twenty-four hours a day for an entire week?

No space to jack off.

Not that Brian was complaining the first few days. It was all blood tests, piss in a cup, blood pressure cuffs, electrodes, stethoscopes, penlights, and a few uncomfortable stool samples. Before they even got to that though, they dragged Brian to his physician for a full physical - both because of standard procedure working for the FBI and for the record involving the NZT study. Brian came back with a pretty good bill of health. Cholesterol was a little high but still within normal parameters. Brian could stand to eat a little better, he could admit. But beyond that, no STIs, no STDs, not even a sinus infection. Besides the bullet scrape on his leg, Brian was completely, averagely healthy - ignoring the evidence of marijuana usage in the last week's time. Whatever.

So bring on the daily ritual of breakfast with blood pressure checks and monitored exercise after. At least three sets of eyes were on him at all times. Mike and Ike - his bodyguards - left at night at least. But there was a scientist guy there hooking him up to monitors and things to study his sleeping patterns. After finding nothing significant for three days they just fit him with a little wrist monitor at night and left him to his own devices. He had to keep a log of his activities in a notebook, though.

All of this almost constant observation made it uncomfortable to even consider rubbing one out, even just for stress relief. The first time he reached for his dick was in the early morning after the first night he was given the wrist monitor. He'd barely started fisting himself before he blearily glanced down his body and caught sight of the black bracelet. It wasn't in the way or irritating, except that it would be recording his vitals and syncing them to the program the FBI scientists were using to keep an eye on him. It wouldn't be hard for them to figure out what he had done. There it would be, graphed proof of him taking a little extra time to himself to reacquaint with his dick. It felt like a weird invasion of privacy— not an explicit recording of him getting his rocks off, but a recording none-the-less.

He skipped his shower and switched things up slightly by taking it after breakfast instead. No bracelet, no eyes, and twenty minutes of gloriously hot water. After that he began relieving himself under the spray of warm water every day. It took the edge off but it was ultimately unsatisfying.

And the more time he spent having his cheeto consumption counted, playing with rubik's cubes, solving complex math equations, speed-reading every book in the apartment, and indulging in forms of art he had never quite been good at, the more he craved that level of self-love he usually indulged in at least once a week. It felt like at a very cellular level he was craving a long, generous date with his hand.

It wasn't long after the papier mâché incident that Brian really got fed up with the tension building up inside. He was also extremely curious about what it might be like to masturbate on NZT. What would he feel? Would it be more intense? What would he remember? What kind of fantasies would he be able to think up?

"Okay, so here's the deal," he blurted, turning to the lab coat trying following him from the kitchen area of the apartment. Brian had just grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and started toward the bedroom.

"I'm going crazy here," he continued, staring at the slightly startled grey-haired scientist. He noticed Mike and Ike exchanging a "significant look" and ignored them. With his brain currently processing things quicker he realized the easiest way to get the alone time he needed would be the "shock and awe" route.

He went for it.

"I'm going into the bedroom. You're going to stay out here. I'm going to spend some quality time playing with my baloney pony. You're going to turn up the tv and politely ignore any possible noises that might come out of that room. For at least an hour. Because I gotta say, ten minutes in the shower just doesn't cut it. Capishe?"

The scientist blinked at him for an extended moment. Ike coughed into his hand. Then the scientist's face lit up with some kind of epiphany. He rushed over to the bag containing his supplies and withdrew a familiar plastic cup with a screw on lid.

Which he handed to Brian.

Who got the message.

And gave the man a slightly horrified look.

"Might as well." The scientist shrugged, smirking and stuffing his hands into the pockets of his lab coat. "It's the only thing we haven't really looked at yet."

Brian rolled his eyes, mortified, and spun into his bedroom. He didn't quite slam the door behind him, but it was close. He also flipped the lock for good measure.

He contemplated the cup in his hand for a second, wrinkling his nose in slight disgust before placing it on the nightstand with his water. Ugh. It wouldn't ruin this though. There was no way he was going to let it.

Before he could get started, he had to figure out exactly what he wanted to do. He hadn't really had a specific plan beyond, "get some alone time with his dick." But if he was going to do this, he wanted to really get into it.

Brian closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He'd been on a dildo kick recently, before the whole NZT thing. His fantasies and porn searches had involved them in some way or another. There was just something incredibly arousing about people fucking themselves, watching people enjoy fucking themselves. They knew what they wanted and they were giving it to themselves.

Or… Brian's mind drifted to a pegging video he'd watched months earlier, even before the issue of his dad's declining health. His mind recalled in vivid detail the cadence of the hot redhead's voice saying-

"That's it, ride my cock," while the handsome, tan, brunette fucking himself on her dick swiveled his hips and moaned, a dark red flush erupting to the surface down his chest and stomach.

Brain's breath hitched and he felt a jerk in his guts, arousal hooking in deep.

Yeah, okay.

He went to the slightly beat-up box in the bottom of his closet and flipped the latch on the front to throw it open. It wasn't big, nor was it too small. It's dark brown exterior and boring, brass swing-latch gave it an unassuming appearance. Good for Brian because that's where he kept his supplies beyond standard condoms and lube - special lubes and the few toys he had were hidden inside.

He pulled out his dark blue dildo and, after a pause, the bottle of warming lube stashed there. It wasn't big, smaller than his own dick, but he hadn't gotten it that long ago and it was actually the first dildo he had bought for himself. A girlfriend from college had bought the first one as a joke, but he had actually gotten a healthy amount of use from it before tossing it. This one he had picked himself and he hadn't wanted anything fancy or weird, something simple to do the job.

Unable to think of anything except getting it inside himself, Brian tossed his supplies onto the bed and quickly stripped down to his trunks. The arousal was a steady thrum in his blood at this point and he gave a shaky exhale, petting lightly over his chubby. It was too soft a touch to be anything but teasing, but it made his arms get all goosepimply. It took a bit of hesitant coaxing to remove his hand and finish getting ready, moving a box of tissues from the top of the dresser in the corner to the bedside table. What he really needed were some wet-wipes, like baby wipes. They were cheap as hell and came in huge packs, good for all kinds of quick clean up.

He climbed onto the bed and wiggled around to get comfortable, anticipation buzzing under his skin as he propped his head up on a pillow. There was a fleeting thought for the three other guys on the other side of his bedroom door, then he was letting out a shivery exhale and closing his eyes.

Brian gave himself a moment to just feel - the comforter warming up under his body, the cool air barely caressing his skin, the steady thumping of his heart, the low burn in his belly. Then he raised his hands and dragged them up his thighs to his hips, dipping his fingers just under the waistband of his underwear, rubbing his thumbs along the jut of his hipbones. He shivered again, focusing on the way his skin tingled. His dick grew, straining against the purple cotton keeping it confined.

Abandoning his lower body, Brian trailed his fingertips up over his ticklish sides and found the tiny peaks of his nipples.

"I know exactly how sensitive your hips and nipples are," Eli had said.

Brian's gut swooped and he stopped moving, stopped breathing. Eli. Fuck, don't think about that now.

Think about…

The hot redhead. Yeah, she would touch him like this, her sparkling, dark eyes would catch the light streaming in the window and she would smile indulgently down at him. The jewel high on her cheekbone would also catch the light, draw his attention for just a moment before she would pet down his chest - straddling him - and tug gently at the slight trail of hair under his navel. She would be coy but smug, confident in what she was doing. Brian gasped, letting himself feel it with his own hand, making it feel real as the NZT powering his brain had him picturing her in perfect detail.

She would be wearing a pair of soft, lacy underwear - moss green, to compliment her hair and the dark, sporadic freckles all over her porcelain pale skin. The little beauty marks would only be enhanced by the actual marks of beauty she gave herself. Little, purple balls would be set on either side of her perfectly pink nipples, enhancing the beauty of her smaller, but shapely chest. And she'd have a bold watercolor tattoo of some kind on her ribs.

Brian was superimposing his own desires onto her, since all that was exposed in the video was her toned tummy and strong legs and arms.

It was totally revving his engine though, as he scraped a nail over one of his nipples, imagining it was a longer, purple-painted one.

He was so close to fully hard now and he reached down to adjust himself, lining his dick up against his belly so that the head poked out, the waistband pinning it down just underneath. He fell back into the fantasy.

"You want it, Brian?" She asked, continuing to pet up and down his treasure trail, occasionally letting her fingers brush over the exposed head of his cock. Her other hand rubbed and pinched his nipples, switching between the two until they were red and hard. Brian was so close to whimpering at the tease.

"You want me to fuck you with your toy?"

Brian wondered if he could make his fantasy of her fucking him convincing enough to believe with the help of NZT.

"I don't think you deserve my cock this time, Brian," she whispered and scratched down his chest, hooking her fingers into his trunks and sliding them down off Brian's hips, over his knees so he could kick them away. Brian squirmed and parted his legs as she settled between them, smirking and rubbing her palms up and down from hips to inner thigh and back, doing it until Brian's dick twitched without the attention it craved and she giggled, a bell-like condescension.

"You're so desperate for it Brian. I love it when a boy is so eager to get fucked."

She reached for the bottle of lube and cracked it open.

Brian squeezed a dollop out onto the pads of his fingers, rubbing it around with his thumb. He dropped the bottle back onto the comforter as-

She used her clean hand to push his leg up toward his chest, Brian lifting the other and holding it out at an angle for her. His fingers found the crook of his knee and hooked. He held himself open for her as her fingers completely bypassed his cock.

The first touch of Brian's fingers to his asshole had it clenching, a frisson of desire seizing his stomach muscles and causing them to tighten. His whole body throbbed. He gasped.

"So pretty like this, Brian," she murmured, massaging the lube into his asshole. The tingling warmth helped loosen him up as she carefully dug the pads of her fingers in and rolled her wrist. Then, when Brian whined quietly, she dipped her fingers in - two, to the first knuckle. It stung a little as the muscles stretched.

Brian twisted his hand back and forth, pulling at the rim just enough to make it burn in a somewhat painful way. It was so good and he'd be so loose so quick. Fuck, he couldn't wait to get the silicone cock in him. Would just shove it in if he thought he could handle it. But it had been way too long since he'd been with a guy, too long since he'd had his own fingers even.

He swallowed heavily and withdrew his hands from their positions, foot finding the mattress as his clean hand groped for the discarded lube to apply a liberal amount to his fingers.

Then he was sinking back into the fantasy, pulling his legs back into position, as the redhead- Fuck, should he give her a name? Would that help or-?

"I only exist for you right now. Nothing else about me matters, Brian," she husked and pushed her two fingers deep inside him, not stopping until it was impossible to push them further. Brian gasped and shoved his head back into the pillow beneath it, sweaty hair sticking to his scalp and forehead. It burned, more than he had expected but it felt...so...good. It fed the burning in his gut, and the flames licked higher, rolling around in his gut, a punch to the solar plexus, making it hard to do anything except pant heavily.

'Fuck me,' he wished he could say and settled for groaning through parted lips.

She slowly scissored her fingers as she withdrew them before shoving them back in, making sure he was nice and stretched, over and over and over. Then she was truly finger fucking him, shoving them straight in and curling them slightly, just so, as she pulled back. The intentional drag over his prostate had him gulping back a wail. His cock began to leak all over itself on his tummy.

Another finger was added and she roughly screwed him with them until she could pull them back and leave him feeling gutted and empty. She smiled down at him, letting her eyes linger on the blush Brian could feel on his neck and face. Her gaze dropped even lower, to where Brian's hole was clenching on nothing, desperate to be filled again.

"I think I'm going to fuck you now," she enunciated and looked him in the eye again. "Fuck you with your little toy. Don't you wish it was bigger right now? Aren't you close to begging for a thick cock to fill you up? Wish it was mine?"

Brian felt around, searching hastily for the dildo, finding it near his hip. He dropped it on his chest and quickly found the lube, squirting it into his already drenched hand. Then he was tossing the bottle away and picking up the dildo and smearing it through the mess of his hand. He held tightly onto the flared bottom and with a needy wiggle, eased it into his ass. His breath hitched and he let it out in an exaggerated sigh that morphed into a short whine at the end.

"Fu-huuuhhh," he whimpered as he angled the dildo so the slight curve of it pressed the head against his prostate.

Her strong, delicately thin fingers pressed against his asscheeks as she tortured him with the cock, fucking him shallowly with it. She grinned wickedly as if she knew there was a reason it was his favorite. Like this, with a hand around the flared base, it was just long enough to hit his prostate at the perfect angle.

Sometimes when he wanted to feel full and decided to just jerk it with the dildo buried inside he would sit straddling a pillow and grind against it, hand furiously working over his own dick.

Brian keened as she really began fucking him, arm working in a tight circle so she could thrust it straight in deep as it would go before tugging it out with a tilt, rubbing mercilessly over his prostate.

If this wasn't all in his head, Brian would have been begging her at this point.

"You think you deserve to cum?" She demanded shoving the little cock in and pressing her palm flat to the base, grinding it in tight little circles that had him giving short, shivery moans. He met her twinkling gaze and nodded furiously, sweaty and slick and desperate to cum. She pressed harder and Brian's hips tilted up into it-

Brian squirmed breathlessly, hooking his knees on the outside of his elbows, bending himself nearly in half as he started fucking himself with the dildo again. The edge of orgasm was right there he just needed-

"You're so slick, baby," she whispered and leaned over him, arm still furiously working the dildo in his ass, finesse replaced by a fevered pace. Her other hand - still wet with lube - found his dick, fingers curling around the slippery head. She twisted and rolled her fingers over it, catching under the ridge. She didn't have enough room to properly jerk him but the focus on his glans was maddeningly more than enough. The slamming into his prostate earlier had seemingly made him more sensitive there.

She curled over him. Her perfect breasts so close to pressing into his chest, right above where she was working his cock. He was curled just as tightly, from toes to top. He panted shallowly, chasing his orgasm. He swore he could feel her long, red hair tickling the insides of his thighs, his chest, where it fell around her shoulders.

This close Brian would be able to smell her. She'd smell like...lavender, real lavender. And ginger.

Brian choked and gasped, keening through a riptide of an orgasm. His dick jerked in his hand and he shot all over his chest and neck as he threw his head back. He quit pumping the dildo into his ass and held it against his prostate, shuddering. His slippery hand on his cock squeezed and twisted and wrung every last dribble of cum out onto his stomach until the sensitivity was hitting painful territory.

He collapsed with a whooshing exhale, legs splaying bonelessly on the bed, dildo sliding out of his ass without the pressure of his hand to press it deep. The last thing he did before really drifting in the afterglow was to ease it completely free and drop it off to the side on the comforter.

Then he let himself doze, one hand still curled around his softening dick. That had been one of the most intense orgasms he'd had in a long while. He could still feel little sparks of pleasure randomly going off in his body, dancing up and down his spine, pinging low in his groin. The cooling sweat on his body had him shivering lightly. Or maybe that was the orgasm that still felt like it hadn't faded…

When he came back to himself the cum on his skin was tacky and he felt uncomfortably sticky and cold. He had intended to just do a quick clean up but as he finally pried his eyes open and looked down at himself he realized he was going to have to go out and do some kind of weird walk of shame to his bathroom to shower.

Besides the walk of shame, that sounded absolutely wonderful.

Then there was the matter of the little plastic cup on his nightstand.

Brian sighed.