I own none of it, capish?!

Yes I know it's just after Christmas and that this is meant to be an incredibly festive time, I'm not feeling festive! So sue me! I have the relative from hell descended upon my household so that's all the torture you need set upon me!

I'll let you figure out who's speaking, it's pretty obvious though.

=^=

There are many things we can only hope and dream and wish for. Ironically it is these that our very lives seem to revolve around, they are the core of our existence.

What are these things which we desire above all else? They may be a shiny new sports car that glimmers in the sunlight, the car that everyone will envy and wish and dream and hope of owning. A house maybe, not the small little semi-detached falling down style of house with fading brickwork and concrete gardens. But a large expanse of land with an elegant white stoned building sitting in its centrepiece, fifty rooms and four wings, with enough space to contain every single person you've ever known in your life.

Then of course there are the holidays. Fabulous cruises on a luxurious liner heading out for the tropical islands of huzzar-huzzar, or something like that...

The around-the-world trips that people crave like water, see and travel the globe. Get arrested a couple of times and see jail cells around the world too, but that's neither here nor there.

But this is not about other people, this is about me. What I want, and I want none of those common run of the mill fantasies. My fantasy is very real and he is my companion through life. He is what I hope and dream and wish for but can never have, for he does not know how I feel for him and I'm sure he would not feel the same...

I can imagine his disappointment in me if I managed to pluck up enough courage to tell him how my feelings had grown to more than those of friendly affection.

Don't be silly, it's nothing more than hero worship. You are no more in love with me than you are with Joey or Téa or Tristan.

Yes, love. I love him. But he would see me only as a friend and laugh off anything I would say, stay true to his regal heritage and not allow anyone to come closer than friendly regard. That is, if he saw me in the way I see him...which he doesn't.

I can never have him. He will never hold me in the way I wish to be held, or kiss me in the way he does in my dreams. I can only but hope that the looks we share could be something more than just a shared sense of humour, or a shared look of exasperation over yet another of Joey's stupid antics.

I can only live on the fleeting touches of my bare skin on his when he asks me to rearrange his neck buckle and my fingers accidentally brush against the silky smoothness of him, and when his hand is in mine when I pull him up from the floor because his legs won't quite hold his weight yet. I love the steadying hand I can place on his elbow while he gains his balance.

Gods I'm a hopeless case, but still I can't help but hope and dream and wish and crave for him.

I love him, and he'll never know...how tragic eh.

=^=

Okay…so you read and you hate it, where do you complain?

See that little purple button down there? That's where…

Y'all better hope I get more festive so I can finish my humour fic, although I think that might be a stretch before next year… *sigh*

Later all…