disclaimer; I don't own south park!
"So much work..." Eric Cartman grumbled as he made his way over to the Marsh residence, arms full of papers and books. Stan decided not to show up to school today and now Cartman was stuck bringing him the mountain of homework they were assigned. (He wouldn't have really cared, but he agreed to do it so Kyle would stop bitching at himー because the Jew was "too busy today" to do it himself.)
But it gave Cartman an excuse to avoid having to go home right away.
He finally arrived at the house and had to lift a leg to prop up the material he was carrying to get a hand free and ring the doorbell. He became agitated when a moment passed with no answer.
Maybe Stan was sleeping or something. He was just gonna have to use the hidden key the hippie had informed him about awhile ago. But that would require putting everything down, unlocking the door, opening the door, picking everything back up, only to put them back up and shut the door, ugh, too much workー
Cartman almost dropped everything after he was startled when the door suddenly swung open.
"Cartman," Stan greeted cheerily and smiled at him. "I missed you!" He tried to throw his arms around the larger male, who took a step back.
"Calm down there, PETA President, I've got my hands full here. Just get me inside, will ya?" Cartman groaned. "And whaddya mean you missed me? We just saw each other last night."
"Re~ally? Felt longer than that...," Stan murmured and stepped out of the way, allowing entry for Cartman, who forcefully made his way in and dropped all his things on the table in front of the couch.
"Was' all this?" Stan asked, coming up beside him and peering down at all the papers.
"Homework," Cartman snorted, "since some dumbass decided not to come to school today. I'm seriously, I expected to come here and find you dying."
"M' sorry," Stan sniffed and rubbed at his eye. "Didn't wanna go to school t'day."
"Nobody wants to go to school," Cartman pointed out, putting a hand in his pocket. He figured he should get going, Stan seemed... tired. "Well, see ya." He dismissed himself as he turned to the door to leave.
"Wait," Stan called, using his small hand to grip Cartman's forearm from behind. "You c'nt go yet."
"Oh yeah. Forgot the goodbye kiss." Cartman smirked, and pulled Stan into a strong hold. "See ya, cutie," he said before placing his lips to Stan's, kissing him sweetly. He reveled in the moment until... he tasted something weird on Stan's lips. While it was weird, it wasn't outlandish. He knew exactly what it was.
Stan happily kissed back, but whined when Cartman pulled away. "Thas' not what I was askin.'"
"Stan, are you drunk?" Cartman quirked a brow at his boyfriend, who tilted his head.
"Wha~t? I don't think so... I didn't drink... that much...," he slurred, putting a hand on his forehead and crossing his eyes upward, as if lost in thought.
Cartman sighed heavily. "You idiot. You got into your dad's liquor cabinet again, didn't you?"
Stan looked down, brushing his socked foot against the carpet with a low grumble. "He lef' the key in the lock. H's fault."
"Damn it, Stan. Kyle's gonna kill you."
"No!" Stan suddenly said, the most expressive he'd been since Cartman got there. "Don' tell Kyle... he'll be so mad at me... you know how he g'ts... don' want that..."
"Our first agreement to this whole thing was no secrets," Cartman scolded. "And you should of thought about that before you got drunk! Or even drank at all!"
"Ple~ase, Cartman... nooo," the raven-haired boy whined, before suddenly swaying and being caught in Cartman's strong arms.
"Let's cross that bridge when we get to it. You need to lay down."
"Wha'? Wha' 'bout homework?"
"You can do it later."
"Don' wanna."
"Too bad." Cartman grunted. Stan could be a bitchy drunk. And it happened more often than it should've.
"Don' wanna go to bed either," Stan complained.
"Too bad," Cartman repeated, "you're goin' to bed now."
Cartman swooped Stan off his feet and carried him bridal style up the stairs to his bedroom. Stan had finally shut up and just snuggled into Cartman's embrace, closing his eyes and sighing contently. His peace was lost when Cartman laid him down on the bed.
"See ya tomorrow," Cartman saluted him and turned around to leave.
"Where ya' goin'..?" Stan tried to sit up, but failed.
Cartman turned to look at him. "Home," he answered simply.
"Noo, stay here."
"In case you didn't notice, we have a shit ton of homework to do, and I need to get my grades up so I can keep up with you and Kyle. Sick of his 'tutor sessions.' Even though they normally lead to somethin' way better." He smirked at the memories.
"Stay here," Stan repeated, reaching his hand out drunkenly towards his boyfriend.
Cartman sighed. It was like talking to a brick wall.
"Fine."
Cartman shrugged off his winter coat, peeled his hat off his head, along with his gloves and shoes, and tossed them aside to crawl in bed with Stan, who instantly clung to him like a koala on a tree.
"You puke on me, I'm leavin'."
Stan shook his head slightly. "Naah."
"Better hope not," Cartman chuckled. He turned off his motherly act and relaxed with Stan, wrapping his arms around him, stroking Stan's back soothingly with one hand and his forearm with the other.
Stan purred and leaned into the touch, burying his face deep into Cartman's neck, causing Cartman to sign in pleasure.
Stan was a bitchy drunk, but he was also adorable.
And definitely more horny.
"Cartman..."
Speak of the devil.
"Yeah, Stan?"
"You're squishy."
Cartman snorted at that. "Yes, you've told me that before, you and Kyle both."
"S' true."
"Thanks, then."
"Uh-huh..."
Stan tilted his head upwards to peer into his boyfriend's chocolate brown eyes and smile sweetly at him. "Love you."
Cartman chuckled and kissed Stan the nose. "Love you too, Hippie."
"Show me, then."
Cartman blinked. "What?"
"Show me...," Stan slightly shifted and nudged his knee into Cartman's crotch, causing the larger male to bite his lip.
He didn't need to be told a third time.
He gripped Stan's chin between his fingers and kissed him hungrily, the taste of alcohol suddenly turning him on. Stan might regret this later but he obviously didn't care right in that moment. Cartman forced his tongue between Stan's lipsー who easily let him, even if he had tried not to, and explored his hippie's mouth, swallowing every moan that escaped from him.
Eventually Cartman pulled back for air and rolled over as to pin Stan underneath him, leaning down to pepper light kisses all over Stan's neck.
"Mmm," Stan hummed with a small blush, reaching his slender hand to tangle in Cartman's hair. Cartman smiled against his skin. He knew that with the state Stan was in, he'd be doing most of the workー which he was perfectly okay with. He lived for making love to his boyfriends. Stan was usually a little harder than Kyle, but not in this situation. He took note that a drunk Stan in bed was the equivalent to a sober Kyle in bed and laughed mentally.
Stan was clumsily fiddling his hands in Cartman's shirt, as if he were trying to remove it, with little success. He was just making it wrinkle up. Cartman pulled up for a moment to help him out and pull his own shirt off.
"Better?" Cartman asked amusingly.
Stan nodded. "Yeah."
"It would be even better if we got your shirt off, too."
Stan blushed and nodded once again, raising his arms above his head. At least he was still smart enough to do that. Cartman impatiently got rid of the pesky shirt and tossed it aside along with his own.
Stan shivered in the cold air, but was quickly warmed by Cartman leaning down onto him again, placing kisses all over his bare chest.
"Ahh, Cartman...ー"
"No, say my name."
"Eric..."
Cartman smiled. "That's better."
The larger male continued downward until he reached the top of Stan's skinny jeans, which had ridden down slightly, revealing more of Stan's hips. Cartman slyly traced his tongue around the V making Stan jump and whine.
"Eric... quit teasin' me..." Stan complained, gently thrusting his hips against his boyfriend's face, causing Cartman to laugh.
"Be patient."
"Noo, fuck that," Stan grumbled as he fiddled with the button on his jeans, getting them undone.
Cartman smirked at him. "Greedy hippie." He slithered his hand down inside Stan's now opened jeans and rubbed the growing bulge there, causing Stan to throw his head back and moan. One of Stan's hands gripped his pillow while the other tangled in the sheets below him.
Cartman continued this until Stan was panting and writhing under him, reading him like an open bookー he was getting close already. It was then that he stopped, resulting in a frustrated groan from his boyfriend.
Cartman slapped the side of Stan's ass in response. "Get me ready," he whispered, undoing his own pants and shoving them down to reveal his hardening cock. Stan clumsily sat up and bend down in front of Cartman to take him into his mouth.
Cartman moaned and tangled his fingers in Stan's hair, pushing his head down slightly, not as to choke him, but enough to make it better. Even when he was drunk, he still was incredible. He slightly thrust into Stan's mouth, his head hitting the back of Stan's throat.
Stan hummed happily around Cartman's erection causing small vibrations to shoot through him, increasing the pleasure.
"Damn, Stan...," Cartman breathed. "Okay, I'm ready now."
Stan pulled offー causing Cartman to sigh at the loss, but he knew he was in for more. The smaller boy didn't need to be told what to do, he turned on all fours and offered himself to Cartman.
Cartman was about to lick his fingers for prep, but Stan spoke.
"Already... prepped m'self... not long ago," Stan admitted, squeezing his blue eyes shut.
Cartman laughed at that. "Oh really? Why's that?"
"Like I said... missed you," Stan answered, turning his head to give Cartman an innocent and content look, making the other make groan.
"I don't know how you can look at me like that before what I'm about to do," Cartman said before pushing in. Stan flinched at the sudden entry but it didn't take long for him to melt back into the bed, giving Cartman the green-light nod to move.
The dirty blonde wasted no time before thrusting into his lover, engaging in the tight heat that consumed him every time.
Stan mewled and buried his face into his pillow, muffling his moans. Cartman leaned down, gripping Stan's chin from behind and forcing his head back up.
"I want to hear you," Cartman growled in his pierced ear before biting down on it. Stan gasped, but nodded, moaning shamelessly into the open airー thank God no one was home.
Cartman knew just how to make Stan scream and angled himself to hit that sweet spot inside him, causing him to do just that.
"Eric!" Stan cried, his face fully flushed now. Tears of pleasure streaked down his cheeks as he reached down to stroke himself to completion, which didn't take long at all. Soon, he was coming into his hand, and onto the bed, crying out Cartman's name.
The clench caused Cartman to spill into the other and collapse on top of him afterwards. They both caught their breath and Cartman eventually rolled off when he realized he was probably crushing the poor guy.
It was peacefully silent for a short while, the sunset rays peering through the squinting blinds.
"Cartman?"
"Mm?" The dirty blonde opened his eyes, surprised to find his boyfriend looking right back at him.
"Tired."
"Yeah. I bet," Cartman smiled at him, stroking his hair affectionately.
"Sleep here t'night?" Stan shot his puppy eyes at the other.
"If you insist," Cartman answered, though there was no way he had the energy to leave, anyway. He opened his arms and allowed Stan to crawl on him once more and fall into a peaceful sleep.
Cartman closed his eyes.
He would have to tell Kyle about Stan's decision tomorrow, but it would be fine. Kyle might get mad but he'd get over it. Maybe also brag a little about the awesome sex they had. Cartman smiled at the thought.
He kissed Stan's black hair before drifting off to sleep himself.
The homework remained on the table downstairs undone, all night.
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