Hiya! This chapter fic was written for isisanubis for her birthday. I hope you enjoy it.

Warnings/Notes: sexual situations, flangst.

Disclaimer: Anything you recognise belongs to JK Rowling and affiliates. No money is made from this work of fan fiction and no offense is intended.

What Sirius Wants

Sirius Black smiled.

The Seventh Year student had many different smiles, but none quite as dangerous as this one. For this was not a pleasant smile of greeting, or a warm smile of affection, or even the flirty smile that made the girls (and some of the boys) of Hogwarts swoon.

No, this smile was the one smile that his friends, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew hated seeing on his face because it usually meant a good long stretch of detentions for them. James Potter was the only Marauder who loved it when Sirius smiled that wicked smile -- he had one quite similar that also drew groans of frustration from his more ethical friends.

But all of his friends were too preoccupied to see this smile spread across Sirius' face today which suited the brunette just fine.

This was the smile of a man formulating a plan that none of his friends would ever know about.

This was the smile of a man who was determined that, by any means necessary, he would get what he wanted.

And what Sirius Black wanted, more badly than he'd ever wanted anything before, was a brown-haired werewolf named Remus Lupin.

*

It had started a month ago - the second Saturday back at school after their summer holidays. Well, actually, it had probably started long before that, but it was only four short weeks ago that Sirius' conscious mind had finally registered what his body had been struggling, till now in vain, to tell him.

He'd woken up that morning feeling as if he'd been bashed about the head with a Beater's bat. Groaning loudly, he fell back onto his pillows, clutching at his pounding skull.

'Whatssup, Pazz?' Remus mumbled around the quill he was holding between his teeth, staring at the groaning boy.

'Sick,' he moaned, throwing a hand over his face. 'So sick.'

A suspicious Remus stood up, slamming the lid of the trunk he'd been bent over and making Sirius wince as the sound reverberated inside his skull. 'This doesn't have anything to do with the fact you agreed to help me with our Potions essay today, does it?' he asked with an arched eyebrow as he walked over to Sirius' bed.

Then he caught sight of the other boy's pale face. 'Oh, you really are sick, aren't you?'

Sirius nodded as Remus sat down on the edge of the bed. 'Do you have a temperature?' Remus asked, pushing Sirius' hand out of the way and replacing it with his own cooler one.

Sirius moaned a little at the touch; the gentle hand soothing his aching head.

'You're a little hot,' Remus murmured and even sick, Sirius couldn't resist.

'I'm a lot hot,' he muttered faintly. 'Just ask any girl in this school. And some of the boys.'

Remus snorted and removed his hand, Sirius moaning again, this time in disappointment at the loss.
'You must be sick,' he said, folding his arms. 'You're suffering delusions.'

Sirius could only grunt as his head throbbed.

'You want me to take you to the Hospital Wing?' Remus asked in concern when Sirius didn't bite back.

'No,' he whispered, reaching out for the cool hand that had felt so good on his heated forehead. 'Just stay with me?'

And Remus had stayed, getting comfortable in bed beside Sirius. As his head hit the pillow next to Sirius', Remus put one hand back on the other boy's hot forehead. Sirius had let out an incoherent mumble of gratitude and closed his eyes. As he drifted back off to sleep, he had been sure he felt gentle fingers comb through his hair.

He'd slept for a while and when he woke up - just before lunch according to his clock - the headache was gone, but Remus was still there. He'd fallen asleep as well, his hand dropping from Sirius' forehead to his chest. Sirius had reached out to shake his shoulder, to wake him, but instead he'd found himself stroking a finger over the most prominent scar on the other boy's face - a touch Remus surely would have never allowed if he'd been awake. He was sensitive about his scars - Sirius knew when he'd carved this particular one into his own flesh last year, he'd been far more upset than he'd let on. He thought the marks were ugly, but Sirius disagreed. They added character, an earthiness to a face that was almost ethereal in its beauty and now, Sirius could only stare at the other boy, barely drawing breath as he drank in the imperfectness of the flawed face that somehow made Remus oh-so-perfect.

Sirius' stomach slowly somersaulted and he had been very glad that Remus was still asleep, sure the other boy would be able to feel his madly thumping heart through the wall of his chest, would see the confusion written all over his face. He'd felt a little strange around his quiet friend over the summer holidays, finding that he was noticing Remus in ways he hadn't before: his skin prickling when they sat next to each other, swarms of butterflies taking flight in his stomach when they brushed against each other, and it had suddenly started to became a little harder to breathe whenever Remus laughed.

Remus moved and Sirius quickly removed his hand from his cheek. When Remus awoke, he was confused for a second, his eyes searching the canopy and curtains then, when they fell upon Sirius, Remus' whole face lit up in a smile.

That was the moment Sirius finally acknowledged that niggling feeling that had been sitting deep in his gut for a number of weeks now.

He wanted Remus.

*

'How am I supposed to know who to hook you up with, Moony?' Sirius complained yet again after Remus thwarted his attempts to get him to compliment either Jeff Marshall's arse or Jenny Kline's boobs. The mystery that was Remus' sexual orientation was driving him insane! Remus was a teenager. He had to have some kind of sex drive - didn't he?

'You're supposed to keep your nose out of my love life,' Remus replied absently, twisting a lock of that silky-looking sandy hair as he read.

'Or lack thereof,' Sirius muttered, eyes on those long fingers as they moved. 'You're still a…virgin, aren't you?.'

He whispered the 'V' word as if it was something to be ashamed of, eyes darting around to ensure no one had heard the accusation.

Remus still refused to look up, although a pink flush spread quite attractively across his cheeks. 'I'm not ashamed of the fact I'm not a slut,' he murmured, turning the page. 'Yes, I'm a virgin and I plan on remaining that way until I find someone I want to give it up for.'

Sirius contemplated Remus for a long moment then grinned. 'I'm going to make it my mission to get you laid before the year is up. And if I can't find anyone up to the task of de-flowering you, I'll bloody well do it myself.'

Remus just snorted, his eyes never leaving his book and it was then that the germ of the plan was implanted and he smiled that aforementioned wicked smile that, had Remus looked up, would have sent a shiver of dread down his spine.

Remus was going to lose his virginity, but not to some big-boobed bird, or inept bloke. No, it would be he, Sirius Black, who was going to have the pleasure of taking the other boy's innocence.
And, hopefully, Remus would see fit to return the favour and, itch finally scratched, end Sirius' obsession with the brown-haired boy. He was sure that sexual frustration and pure and simple curiosity were the reasons for his newly developed obsession with everything Remus, and letting Remus be the one to take his virginity should solve that pesky butterfly problem.

Claiming the werewolf's virginity was just icing on the cake.

But first, he had to figure out a way to get the sexually ambiguous werewolf to give him a hint as to his preferences so he could figure out just how hard this battle for the other boy was going to have to be fought.

*

It was a well-known fact amongst the students of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry that Sirius Black liked boys and girls.

'Love knows no boundaries,' he declared to a fairly shocked James, Remus and Peter late last year after they caught him looking at a dirty magazine that had definitely not come from their rather extensive collection of porn. 'The heart wants what it wants. Although, I draw the line at the Giant Squid, or worse, Snivellus…'

James had been stunned into uncharacteristic silence by the revelation that the notorious ladies' man wanted other men; Peter just shrugged - he had his ear to the ground in his rat form and had already seen Sirius doing something far more disturbing with that magazine; Remus had flushed, but quickly shaken off his surprise to assure his friend that he was absolutely fine with it and was only surprised Sirius hadn't figured out earlier that being bisexual almost doubled his sexual options.

Sirius was relieved by the responses of his best friends, especially after James finally found his tongue to stammer out that he didn't care who Sirius shagged as long as he didn't have to catch a glimpse of any of it. He'd taken a chance letting them 'catch' him with the magazine, knowing there was no way he could just blurt it out, that he'd chicken out as he had on several previous occasions. Remus, with his usual bewilderingly accurate insight, had sensed his insecurity and sat with him that night for a minute before he went to his own bed.

The other boy murmured that he admired Sirius for having the courage to tell them and gave him the stilted and blushing counsel: 'As you're cutting a swath through the students of Hogwarts, for Merlin's sake, be safe, Padfoot. I'd hate to see your bits fall off from some horrible disease'.

Sirius had smiled and put his hand on the other boy's leg and thanked him for 'being so concerned about my bits, Moony'.

Actually, now that Sirius thought about it, that had been when he'd first noticed those damn butterflies.

Having finally come out to his friends, Sirius made his preferences (or lack of them) known to the rest of the student body by summoning his considerable bravado and kissing a startled, but not unwilling Calvin Thomas in the middle of the hall during class change-over one day. Since then, he'd almost been able to take his pick of the students at Hogwarts, disturbing his friends with the steady stream of persons of both sexes that flowed through their dorm room for the last couple of months of their Sixth Year.

'It's like a bloody revolving door,' James grumbled, after Sirius had walked his latest bed partner to the door. 'No wonder you've been too tired to prank, Pads. I'm surprised you can walk with all that pounding your arse must take.'

Sirius grinned as he walked to the bathroom. 'Do I seem like the submissive type to you, Prongs?' he asked with a flamboyant wink and he wriggled his backside at his friends before disappearing into the bathroom.

He snorted as he turned on the shower. He knew the others thought he was shagging his little heart out almost every night but in truth, when it came to being intimate with a man, he was still a pure-as-the-driven-snow virgin. It wasn't for lack of opportunity - each time the moment arrived he'd been turned on and his partner had always been more than willing, but it had never felt right to take that next step. It wasn't from lack of choice - it turned out that there were a large number of Hogwarts males that were… curious - for want of a better word - and he certainly had a smörgåsbord of choices, but there was a little voice in his head that told him to wait, that just wouldn't let him throw his virginity away on a meaningless screw.

Not again.

It had to be the right person this time.

And now, after a sexually barren summer in which he'd noticed exactly how attractive Remus' arse was, it was becoming disturbingly clear that the very annoying, mood-breaking little voice had decided that the right person for the job of popping his cherry was his aforementioned friend.

This decision was even more maddening when he considered that Remus, in a complete contrast to himself, had never shown much of an interest in either sex, a fact which both intrigued and frustrated Sirius to no end. Why, out of all the available and extremely willing blokes in the castle, did he have to want the one he couldn't work out?

*

It's not that I don't want to get laid,' Remus thought as he lay staring unseeingly up at the canopy over his bed.

He'd been thinking about his exchange with Sirius earlier that night, wondering in a slight panic if the other boy was serious about his threat to find someone to rid him of his virginity - or to do it himself. He did want to have sex; quite badly actually. He was rapidly wanting more intimacy than that he shared with his right hand on an almost nightly basis, but the problem was that he couldn't work out exactly what gender he wanted the person that he shared this intimacy with to be.

Remus knew his ambiguity frustrated the hell out of Sirius, and that his friends shook their heads despairingly over his lack of enthusiasm for the set-ups they so thoughtfully arranged for him. He appreciated their efforts on his behalf, but he just couldn't summon any enthusiasm at the prospect of another lackluster grope with a girl that every other red blooded man in the castle was lusting after. It all just made him even more painfully aware of how abnormal his disinterest was.

The problem was that he was indecisive. He just couldn't decide whether he was attracted to the soft, rounded curves of the female of the species or the harder, sharper angles of his fellow man. To be honest, neither held his interest for too long. Oh, there were individual features he could appreciate in either sex - nice legs, great lips, pretty eyes, cute arse…but nothing that set his loins on fire like the romance books his mother read described. (Yes, alright - he'd snuck a look once.)

He wondered if he wasn't a visual kind of person, perhaps being more…animalistic, more primeval than other boys, his attraction would be more instinctive, more 'wolfish'. Animals used scent to find a mate, so he tried relying on his own well-developed sense of smell, hoping that the differing perfumes of the sexes would spark a reaction in his heart as well as his body. But that experiment had just become disturbing as he sniffed and sniffed until James had asked him if he was feeling quite alright and did he think he might need to see the nurse for that problem he was obviously having?

Straight would be so much easier. If he just tried to feel something with girls… Life had stacked the odds so high against him already, he didn't need another hurdle to leap. But he had simply not found a girl as yet that did anything for him that came close to stimulating, although, to his slightly shameful relief, neither did any of the guys with whom he'd secretly gone on dates.

It wasn't for lack of trying. He'd had his hand down girl's knickers, trying desperately to be enjoying the sounds of her orgasm, had given and received hand jobs - even gotten a blow job from a particularly enthusiastic Seventh Year last year, but his orgasm had been flat and unsatisfying and he'd made excuses to never see any of them again. He'd never told his friends about these nocturnal excursions - instead muttering the all too easily accepted excuse of studying in the library when he had a clandestine date.

If he ruled out straight, gay and bisexual as options that just left… eunuch. He still had his balls (a hand snuck between his legs briefly just to reassure himself) but he was certainly ineffectual when it came to all things sexual, his incompetence only bought into sharper focus by his roommates' escapades.

For Merlin's sake, even Pete's getting some.

He frowned, remembering his immediate urge to poke his no longer innocent eyes out after he and James caught the naked Marauder with his equally as naked girlfriend recently (He was still not altogether unsure the discovery was a complete accident; Peter liked to keep up with James and Sirius in all aspects.)

But neither Peter with his thickish, but not terrible body, nor Marion with her rather large breasts, had done a damn thing for him as they writhed together before Remus' squeak and James' gasp had broken them apart.

He didn't know whether to be relieved or frustrated about that fact.

Even the fantasies that had spurred an unnatural relationship with his right hand couldn't help make up his mind - the person his mind conjured was neutral. It was more of an aura, a ghost of a person that seemed vaguely familiar and did incredibly hot things to him, but remained frustratingly genderless the entire time.

I'm not asking a lot - just a general idea of the sex I should be leaning towards…

Remus sighed, rolling onto his side. 'Why can't I be more like Sirius?' he thought sulkily. 'He has no problem experimenting with anything that has two legs. He isn't waiting for the right person. I should take a leaf out of his book. I mean, is the first time really that big of a deal? Maybe I should just force myself to do it. Find a willing partner of any sex and get it over with.'

But he knew he wouldn't. Despite the disbelieving look he got from Sirius tonight, he knew he wanted his first time to be with someone he not only was attracted to but who he trusted, that he cared about.

Gods, Moony! You are such a fucking sop!

He could actually hear Sirius' voice saying the words derisively in his head.

'Am I really abnormal because I don't know what I want?' he wondered, gnawing at his lip. 'Don't other people have this problem?'

But he suspected this was a problem unique to himself - at least amongst his immediate circle of friends. James, Lily and Peter were definitely, inarguably straight; Sirius was a bit more indiscriminate, but at least he freely admitted he couldn't make up his mind which sex he preferred and spread the love fairly evenly.

He frowned as he thought of his friend. His exploits were fast becoming legend at Hogwarts, but Remus could see that Sirius was unsatisfied, unhappy. He hadn't been as boastful about his conquests for several weeks now and Remus secretly believed that his promiscuity had less to do with sexual gratification and more to do with his desire to feel loved regardless of where the affection and attention came from.

We all need to be loved.

Sirius, with his horrible, unloving family wasn't the only one who felt that emptiness inside - Remus did too, but tried to fill it with books and study and friends instead of a steady stream of lovers. He cleared his throat, fidgeting a little. Sometimes he heard the activities that went on behind those scarlet curtains and he found himself wondering what it would be like to be so intimate with another person - male or female.

What would it feel like to have someone else's hands stroking over your body? To feel lips caressing and hot breath teasing? To be inside someone else's body or to have someone become a part of yours? To reach that place where nothing else in the world matters but you and them, and how you are making each other feel?

His cock stiffened and he moaned in frustration even as his hand sought out that hard flesh. His eyes closed with the first stroke and the sexless phantom appeared. It wrapped its ghostly hand around Remus' shaft and together they tugged as Remus' imagination went into overdrive.

What did Sirius do behind those curtains? Did he touch his partner of the moment like this? Wrap his hand around a hard cock; put his mouth on it?

His mind filled; images of Sirius and an imaginary, faceless lover writhing and panting together quickly sending him to the edge. He had just reached the end of his tolerance when Fantasy Sirius shifted, revealing his partner's face and with a shocked gasp, Remus realised it was him. Heat surged through his body as Fantasy Remus slammed his cock into Fantasy Sirius' arse, and the flesh and blood werewolf let out an involuntary moan of pleasure as he came longer and harder than ever before.

'Merlin, Moony! Heard of Silencing Spells?'

Remus groaned, breathing still harsh as he tried to recover from the powerful orgasm. The last person he'd want to hear him wanking right now had to be the one to call him on it. He waited for James or Peter to add their two Knuts worth, but realised they were asleep when he heard snores and snuffling emanating from their beds.

'Sorry,' he rasped when he could string a sentence together. 'Forgot…spells. Sorry.'

Sirius chuckled softly and as Remus reached for his wand to clean up, he heard him say quietly, 'We all do it, Remus. Don't worry about it.'

There was quiet as Remus cast a silent Scourify over himself and replaced his wand on the bedside table then Sirius' voice drifted across to him again.

'Who… who were you thinking of, Moony? I ask purely for research purposes. I'm supposed to be getting you laid, but I don't even know if you like boys or girls. You've kept me wondering for over six years. Don't you think it's time you gave me a hint?'

Remus thought for a moment. That had been the most incredible climax he'd ever bought himself to, and he suddenly realised that tonight had been the first time his spectral lover had been very clearly of a particular gender. He wasn't sure whether it was the endorphins still flooding through him or the lateness of the hour, but before he knew what he was doing…

'Pads?'

'Yeah?'

'If I told you that I was thinking of another boy, would you hate me?'

There was a long moment of silence in which Remus clenched his eyes shut tight then a disembodied response floated across the dorm to him.

'I could never hate you, Moony.'

TBC