Ave Atque Vale
Julian closed his eyes, memorizing Livvy's features. He was sitting in a bedroom, back at the Blackthorn manor. Outside, dark clouds formed above the lonely sky, as if a reflection of what Julian felt. He had his sketchpad in his lap, and he started sketching down Livvy's face on paper. He captured her shimmering blue eyes, the way her long, brown locks cascaded down her back, her wide genuine smile that brightened up everyone's day.
At the back of his mind, memories start to flutter. He remembered the Dark War, when their parents died and they had to live on their own. He remembered every single moment after the war: his journey in being a father and a brother to his siblings. He remembered bringing them up, with Emma by his side, as if they were really his kids, not his brothers and sisters. He remembered having to explain to Ty the complications of the human language, the times he spent with Dru watching horror films, the nights he had to put Tavvy to sleep, the times Livvy smiled and said that she loved him. He remembered that night, at the London Institute, when Livvy came to his room and told him that she wanted to be like him. That there was no one else that she'd rather be like than him. She said that wanted to take care of those who are in need, that she wanted to be a head of an Institute someday. He'd said she would be good at it.
He remembered the times when Livvy came running to him, saying , " Julian, Julian, carry me."
He remembered the dreams of his sister creeping up his arms like vines with thorns. It hurt him, it clawed at his heart. Livvy's dreams were shattered like glass, the pieces scattered. Some, piercing each person she left behind.
The memory of the fight at the Council Hall rose in his mind: blood, Shadowhunters fighting each other, the shouts of the Cohort, Annabel Blackthorn, and Livvy. At the end of it all, it was Livvy: Livvy being stabbed in the chest, crumpling down, whispering her twin's name, Livvy shutting her eyes, shutting the world out of sight. He remembered running to her side, cradling her in his lap, begging her to wake up and look at him once more.
It was like he was the one who was stabbed. Livvy was his, as his other siblings are. It pained him so much to see a strong girl fall down to her knees without even having to protect herself.
The world came to a stop around him. It was only him and Livvy. He kept saying her name, as if it would make a miracle and bring her back to life. But, no. The Livvy he knew was gone, replaced by a pale and lifeless girl.
"Jules, it's time," Emma said, peeking her head through the bedroom door. His face was wet with tears. His sketch of Livvy was fascinating, but it didn't lighten him up. Emma went over, wrapping her arms around her, disregarding the parabatai curse.
They both went down from the bedroom, joining the other Blackthorns outside. It was time to burn the bodies of those who died during the Council Meeting, including Robert Lightwood and Livvy Blackthorn.
Smoke swirled up into the gray sky as the bodies were burned. Julian thought of Livvy's dreams and the opportunities she would have had, burning up with her corpse. His eyes were dry now, but his heart longed for the comfort that Livvy gave him. Ty, Livvy's twin, had his earphones on, and was crying in Helen's arms. Mark's eyes were also filled with tears, Dru's face was wet and red, and Tavvy was holding on to Julian's legs, afraid of letting his brother go. Emma stood by Julian's side, slightly sobbing.
No one could give justice to Livvy's death. Julian couldn't kill Annabel Blackthorn, she was nowhere to be found. Besides, that was not what Livvy might want.
Ashes remained over the stone where the bodies were a few minutes ago.
Julian looked up and said, "Ave atque vale, Livia Blackthorn. Ave atque vale."