PAIRING: Kakashi/Naruto (16 Y/O) = main pairing, other pairings may unfold too.
WARNING: Technically underage relations in parts of the world, hurt/comfort, insanely sexual perverse content, graphic as fuck violent depictions, vulgar language, detailed illustrations of abuse.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto, much to my own chagrin, or any of the character's herein (except any OC's that may pop up).
A/N- So I haven't been on FF or updated it in...like a year? I Haven't had any time to write recently but here is something that I wrote a while back. It started as one of a selection of one-shots that just spiraled out of control. I warn you in advance, I have no idea where the story is going or how often I will be able to update because I was writing several other stories and am also in medical school currently. I'm going to ask that you please, go back and read the warning above once again...Did you do it? Good! Well, if you've read all this and still want to read on, I welcome you! Enjoy!
Naruto's POV
I ran, the wind whipping my hair behind me and tearing the breath from my lungs. Fukasaku's words rang endlessly through my mind. Master Jiraiya was dead. He's dead. Dead, dead, deaddeaddeaddeaddead...I shook my head violently with a breathless shout, stumbling and falling to my knees. I sat there for a few minutes panting, desperately trying to breathe past the crushing weight on my chest. My stomach suddenly cramped as if trying to devour itself, growling viciously in a demand for food I didn't have.
I couldn't remember the last time I had eaten, or even thought of food until now, drowning in endless amounts of sake to try and fill the hollow pit inside me. I tipped my head back to the ink black of the night sky. Not a single star could be seen to break up the dark above, the cloud cover too thick. A brilliant flash of lightning crackled through the sky following that thought and moments later I felt the bass rumble of thunder in my chest. I laughed with what air I had and doubled over, wrapping my arms around the consuming pain in my gut while shaking my head. Even the heavens were weeping. I thought to myself. It had rained nearly constantly since I had found out about the death of pervy sage with only a few breaks here and there. I could smell the rain on the wind that was picking up around me and welcomed it.
He's dead. How could granny do that? How the hell could she allow him to go alone?! She killed him! She'd let him go off to his death! The pervy sage never would have let her do some shit like that! And now he's DEAD! I slapped my hands over my ears as if I could tune out the voice within my own head and rocked in place, letting out a low moan. When that didn't shut my thoughts up I flung myself to my feet and into the wind, running as fast as my legs could carry me. I ran until flames scorched my lungs and my vision grayed around the edges, ran until I couldn't feel my legs and my skin was numb from the wind and...rain? When had it begun to rain again? I staggered and fell to my knees in the mud as I rounded a corner and forced myself back to my feet. I took two steps and then fell into one of the vendor stands, knocking what looked like arts and crafts projects to the mud. I heard the voice of a woman yelling indistinctly at me and laughed to myself. The yelling got louder and then a stinging flash across my cheek brought my head up to see the middle age woman yelling into my face from about a foot away, the hand she'd slapped me with still raised.
"You gonna pay for the mess you've made? You drunken lout!" I could see the hatred and distrust in her eyes, those same eyes they all had for me. I let my head droop and fished Gama-chan out of my pouch holding the remainder of my money out to the woman who snatched it free of my hand with a sound of disgust.
"This hardly covers the misfortune of having to talk to you!" I mumbled an apology and then a fist to my face sent me sprawling in the mud while the woman screamed a few obscenities at me along the lines of how useless I was and how she never understood why they let me stay in Konoha. For such a small woman she sure knew how to throw a punch. I dragged myself out of the mud and stumbled from wall to wall, ignoring how everyone moved away from me, ignoring their insults and cold eyes. I stumbled too close to someone and was shoved brusquely onto the muddy street once again. I looked around me for no good reason to find them staring at me like the spectacle I had always been. I slumped in on myself and allowed my pain to consume me knowing no one cared.
Kakashi's POV
I cried silent tears as I watched Naruto from a roof top. I watched the vendor woman send him into the mud with a well placed fist to the jaw. Naruto simply dug himself free of the muck and got to his feet without a word, stumbling like the drunk he'd become this past week from wall to wall until one of the villagers shoved him forcefully away when he came too close. Naruto's legs went out from under him and once again he was in the mud. In that moment I hated them all, including Lady Tsunade.
The hokage had assigned me the heart-wrending task of looking over Naruto after he had withdrawn from his friends, going so far as to attack Shikamaru when the young jonin had gone to comfort him. I shook my head and blinked past the rain pouring into my eyes. Naruto sat in the mud looking around him seeing only what he had always seen, anger and fear of what he was. I watched the boy crumple in upon himself in a display of defeat that I had never seen from my student. My heart broke as he rolled onto his side and simply lay in the mud. I leaped from the roof with murder a serious thought in the front of my mind for the fuckers who passed him, throwing whatever odds and ends they had in their pockets. Naruto never flinched under any of their assaults, used to the abuse. I was shaking with rage by the time I got to him, dropping to my knees beside his very still form. I looked the boy over, taking in all the mud and the torn, disheveled state of what had once been his orange jumpsuit. I saw something out of my peripheral vision, snatching it out of the air before it could hit Naruto, turning my hand over to find a small, sharpened flint stone. I lifted my head and hissed menacingly at the slight figure of the young teenage boy who had aimed such a thing at Naruto's head. The boy scrambled to get away and I ignored them all as I leaned over my poor student.
"Naruto?" I called his name and got no response. After several more attempts and still getting no response I slipped my arm under the boy's shoulders and propped his upper body against my raised knee to find that his eyes were closed. I placed my hand on Naruto's chest and closed my eyes until I could feel the slow beat of his heart and feel the slight rise and fall of his chest. I swore under my breath. He had passed out right here in the street and who knows what would have happened if the hokage hadn't given me this assignment. I stood and used Naruto's arms to haul his limp body up, turning in front of him so I could lift him onto my back. I was so furious that I shook as I leaped onto the roof with the unconscious boy, running swiftly but carefully across the slick building tops. His body felt so frail where it rested against mine and my heart fluttered a little at what I had watched him go through.
I finally swept through the door to the once run down house on the edge of the village that I had renovated and now called my own. I kicked off my own shoes and laid Naruto carefully on the floor, stripping out of my flak-jacket and peeling my shirt off over my head before unhooking all my gear and placing it gently on the floor next to the growing pile of my muddy and wet clothes. I slid to my knees beside Naruto and tugged his shoes off. I was half-way through unzipping his jumpsuit when his eyes flared open wide, revealing the brilliant red of the nine tails within him, the scars on his face darkening as they suddenly deepened. His eyes searched madly around before he found me. I held my hands up showing myself to be unarmed.
"Naruto, it's-" I was cut off as the young boy moved in a blur and I was suddenly pinned to the cold tile as he straddled my waist and snarled into my face from inches away, his fangs protruding in a ferocious snarl.
"Naruto. It's me, Kakashi sensei. Calm down." I stared into those wild eyes and all I saw was the animal. There was no recognition there. I swallowed hard, fighting back my racing pulse, trying to figure out how to defuse the situation. "Naruto, listen to me-" I felt his muscles move before he reared back above me. I barely managed to roll out from under him in time to avoid the fist aimed at my head that smashed several inches into the floor. I scrambled away from him on all fours until I could get my feet under me and fall into a crouch. Naruto crept closer on all fours, body low to the floor in preparation for an attack. I held my hands out in a pleading gesture.
"Naruto, please. Listen to me. I would never hurt you. You know that." I rolled to the right as he dove for me, feeling the air of his passage and the brush of the cloth of his jumpsuit. He had come so close. I had to get him to hear me. Tears burned my eyes and I swallowed hard as I came back to my feet. They had done this. The villagers had treated him as a savage beast, attacking and shunning him and that is what he had woken as.
"Hear me. Listen to my words, the sound of my voice. I am trying to help you Naruto, as I have always done." I moved to the left managing to dodge the biggest bulk of the swipe of his claws except for the sharp sting that trailed down my ribs, drawing a brief hiss from me before something connected with my gut sending me flying. I collided with my couch, sending both it and me rolling across the floor. I hauled myself to my knees and looked up to see him licking his lips. I felt the drip of blood down my chin, watched his eyes track it. The fox is a predator and I was now it's bleeding prey. Fuck.
"Naruto!" I shouted. "Snap out of it!" He snarled and then he was suddenly gone. I looked around the room frantically before I was smashed face first into the floor. His hand on my neck shoved my face into the floor, his knee digging into my lower back. I had time enough to feel my heart flutter in terror before I screamed as his fangs dug into my shoulder. I closed my eyes and tried to distance myself from the pain so I could focus enough to complete the transportation jutsu. I poofed out from under him and fell to my knees on my kitchen floor. I had moments before Naruto found me. Sure enough just as I turned to face the doorway I could hear the rapid pound of four limbs across the floor coming straight for me. I crouched and swiped the kunai I stored under the table for emergency situations just as he cleared the door. His eyes saw the weapon first before finding my face and he slowed.
"Don't make me have to hurt you, Naruto! Please!" I shouted. He threw his head back and the scream he let loose made goosebumps explode across my flesh. He fell to his knees, forehead touching the floor, spine bowing as a noise of pain crept up his throat. Naruto was trying to fight back the fox. He'd heard me. Relief swept through me in a wave so powerful I had to catch myself with my empty hand. His body shuddered before he suddenly launched himself at me too fast for me to counter. I was once again pinned beneath the boy, this time by a hand on my throat. I couldn't move for a second as I floundered for something, anything to do that didn't involve stabbing him. He leaned in, putting pressure on his hand against my throat so that I could no longer breathe. I shivered as he ran his nose up my jawline and into my hair, sucking in a deep breath. He pulled back enough to look into my eyes, tracking the tears spilling from them, eyes searching my face in a way that no animal would truly do. His free hand moved in a blur, snatching away my mask. My headband had been lost long ago. I lifted the arm that held the kunai and watched him snarl, fingers tightening as he clocked the motion. My eyes rolled a little as my head began to spin from lack of oxygen, the sound of my terrified heart roaring in my head. I opened my fingers and let the kunai fall to the floor. He stared down at me in confusion, which is how I knew that Naruto was in there.
He leaned into me so that his face was so close I could have kissed him, which is exactly what I did. I pressed my lips against the smooth pearl of his teeth where he snarled and prayed that this would get through to him. His fingers relaxed against my throat enough that I let my head fall back, eyes fluttering as I drew in a sharp, ragged inhale. I had appeased my lungs enough to slake the burning in them but my survival instincts were screaming at me. I did the only thing I could think to do. I lifted my head, feeling the pressure of his fingers on my throat at the movement and pressed my mouth firmly to his. The fox understood violence, destruction, death, the hunt but I was banking on the hope that passion would confuse it.
I must have been right because I felt the softness of Naruto's lips against mine instead of teeth. I placed my hands on either side of his face and pressed my lips firmly against his. The fox was confused indeed. I felt the tension sing through his body, but he caught on quick and the lips that had been passive against mine began to move. It was working! I kissed him for all I was worth, my tongue slipping into Naruto's mouth. He jerked back from the kiss with a look of shock on his face. I sucked in a harsh breath, watching the oblong slit in the red mass of his eyes waver around the edges as I saw Naruto begin to come to the forefront. His eyes flared wider and the fox eyes were firmly back in place. Naruto shook his head hard and I grabbed him, pulling him to me and kissing him firmly, not hesitating. This time Naruto instantly clued in and began kissing me back. His mouth opened, tongue darting into my mouth. I made a sound of surprise and began to explore the boy's mouth in return, sliding my hand to the back of his neck. I had wanted to kiss him for some time now but never in my wildest dreams had I imagined ever actually being able to, especially not in a situation like this. Our mouths fed at each other and a low growl filled my mouth making me gasp in return, my hips moving on their own in response. One second I was pretty much making out with Naruto, the next he was gone. I took several shaky inhales, rolling onto my side as a coughing fit took over. I was panting as I sat up and ran my hand over my face before seeing Naruto standing a few feet away from me, fingers gingerly placed against his lips, cerulean eyes wide with surprise.
"You kissed me." He muttered. I raised an eyebrow at that. Yeah, and you kissed me back I thought, but I didn't say it.
"You attacked me." My voice was gruff from all the abuse my throat had taken. He was quiet for so long that I thought he might have disappeared if I hadn't been staring right at him.
"What happened? And where are we?" I told him what had happened and informed him that we were at my house which made him look around.
"I didn't even know you had a place, Kakashi sensei." I frowned.
"Of course I do." I mumbled. The boy shrugged casually and turned away from me to begin walking down the hallway back to the living room.
"How was I supposed to know that. You've always been such a mystery." I watched him disappear and hauled myself to my feet, hissing quietly at the fire licking along my left shoulder blade where he had bitten me. I followed after him to find him surveying the damage, moving in a slow circle until he came to rest on me. Pain lanced through those giant, true blue eyes as he came forward. I watched him walk toward me until he stopped less than a foot back. Tears filled his eyes as he reached hesitantly forward to trace the long but shallow cut down the right side of my ribs. A small sound left him as his hand fell back to his side, clenched in a tight fist. He bowed his head and turned away from me. I reached out to him but he dropped to his knees, balling his hands in his hair and rocking. I was about to go to him when he just suddenly leaned forward and began pounding his fists into the floor. My eyes went wide and I stared in horror at the sound of his flesh and bone meeting wood again and again. He began screaming as he beat his pain out on the floor. I launched myself at Naruto, wrapping my arms around his shoulders and pulling him back against me.
"LET ME GO!" He screamed, bucking against me. I grunted and held him tighter until he fell still. His whole body shook against mine and I realized he was crying.
"It's okay, Naruto." I said softly, crying silently with him.
"It's not. None of this is okay! The pervy sage is...he's dead! And I nearly killed you! How is that okay?"
"I am a lot harder to kill than that. You should know this by now, Naruto." I grunted as he elbowed me and jumped away from my grasp, whirling to face me.
"Yeah? That's why you had to kiss me to get me to come back, right?" His words were seething and I looked at the ground. He scoffed and I jerked my head up when I heard him retreating. I stood.
"Where are you going?"
"I'm leaving." He made leaving sound very final like he wasn't just leaving my house but the entire village. I was suddenly in front of him, panic tightening my gut.
"You can't." He jerked away from me and glared into my eyes.
"And why the fuck not? No one cares about me. They'll probably throw a parade when they realize I've left, make it an annual holiday! The last person that cared about me is dead! There's nothing for me here!" I ground my teeth together and wrapped my hands in the unzipped lapels of his jumpsuit slamming him back into the wall.
"And what about your friends, the hokage...me?" I spit into his face. He laughed and shook his head.
"None of you care. You all tolerate me because I save your ass and all the asses that live in this village on occasion but you could give two shits what happens to me as long as the demon inside me stays in check." He lifted his hand and lightly slapped my cheek twice with a faux smile. "It's okay Kakashi. You don't have to admit that I'm right, but you don't have to lie to me anymore either." I fought the tears that burned up the back of my throat and shook my head.
"I care." I said thickly. He thumped his head back into the wall and chuckled sadly, closing his eyes as he gripped my wrists in his hands.
"Let me go, Kakashi. I'll be out of everyone's hair within the hour." I thought of a thousand seething responses to that but instead I just leaned over, closing the now small height difference between us and placed my lips against his. I felt him stiffen but I ignored it, letting go of his clothes so that I could wrap my arm around his waist, pulling our bodies flush from chest to thigh, and thread my fingers into the muddy clumps of his hair. I kissed him several times before nipping his lower lip. He gasped and I took my opening, sliding my tongue into his mouth. Naruto made a small noise as he began to move just his lips against mine, hesitant. I kissed him like I hadn't kissed anyone in so very long, letting my tongue and lips show him how much he meant to me. I had wanted him for so long but had always been too terrified to cross a line that I could never uncross if things went sour. I crossed it now out of desperation and pain at what Naruto, my Naruto was going through. I tried to feed to him everything I was thinking and feeling with my lips, tongue and teeth on his. I broke the kiss and we both took a gasping inhale as I reluctantly let him go, taking a single step back. Naruto touched his fingers to his lips as he stared at me with wide eyes, panting. I could see the indecision of how he should feel flitting through those large pools of cerulean: anger, confusion, lust, the pain I so desperately wanted to take away, all a rapid swirl of contemplation. I simply smiled at him realizing only now that this was the first time he had ever been allowed to see the gesture. He gasped sharply and his eyes widened to a point where I thought they might fall out of his head.
"You are wrong." I said, voice a bit husky from the lingering passion of our kiss. I turned away from him and went up the half a flight of steps that led to the large bathroom that was the one thing I had splurged on in the renovation. I leaned heavily on the vanity for a moment, letting myself feel the panic swirl in my chest. Would he still leave? I fought to breathe regularly so as not to have a panic attack as I knelt on the smooth marble of the floor, turning the large faucet on full blast to fill up the 300 square foot, in ground, marble bath that matched the tile under foot. I stood and watched the steam begin to rise in the room and busied myself until the bath was ready: stripping out of the few clothes I still had on, wrapping my waist with a towel as I brushed my teeth and hair, using my routine as a way of calming myself from the maelstrom of doubt and fear swirling through me. I sighed and turned back around, turning the water off. I had just stood up when I heard footsteps behind me I turned to face him only to be greeted by a fist smashing into my face.