Moony's Secret
'Sirius is it true that there's a Werewolf in the Order?' Tonks asked in an excited voice.
'Yes, how did you -'
'Mad Eye told me.' said Tonks promptly. 'Wow. I mean I've never met one' she said after a moment.
'Look it's alright be excited but don't go on ranting about it in front of him. He is rather touchy about it' said Sirius.
'Of course, I wasn't going to -'
'What I mean is you may let something slip in all the excitement and he may take it seriously' said Sirius.
'No problem. I'll be careful. Since when do you know him?' asked Tonks.
'He was one of my best mates at School' said Sirius.
'Oh really? What's he like?' asked Tonks.
'See for yourself when he comes in the evening. What's up Tonksie? Don't tell me you have fallen for him even before meeting him' said Sirius laughing.
'Oh Shut up Sirius! I am just curious that's all.' said Tonks.
O-o-o-o
Tonks had found herself rather attracted to the werewolf. They had been paired together for duty most of the times and they had became very good friends. Remus Lupin was exactly like Sirius had described him - a bit shy, sincere and very gentlemanly. She couldn't help respecting him. True to her word to Sirius, she hadn't discussed anything with Lupin regarding he being a werewolf.
She had observed him when he had come back after the full moon - all pale and tired but she thought he had still looked very handsome.
They would steal glances at one another when the Order meetings got particularly boring sometimes.
Tonks loved the attention he gave her and she was sure she had started feeling something more for him but she had decided to keep quiet for time being.
Lupin had been harboring feelings for Tonks as well for quite some time now but he didn't dare tell her. He had been attracted to her bubbly, vivacious nature and he felt cheerful whenever she was around.
When Tonks came back to no 12 Grimmauld Place one night after her duty, she found the house rather quiet. She carefully swept past Mrs Black's portrait without waking her up to find that the fire in the fireplace had burned down to ashes. Sirius had retired early to bed apparently.
Yawning, she started to climb the stairs towards her room. One landing below, she heard someone moving around in the room. The door was slightly ajar and when Tonks peered inside, she gasped.
She was staring at the shirtless form of Remus Lupin. She realised how thin he was; perhaps it was the due to the recent full moon night.
He was wearing shabby grey pajamas and he was peering over a huge pile of clothes which lay on his bed.
Tonks stood rooted to the spot. She couldn't help watching him. She knew it was wrong and wondered what would he say if he found her sneaking on him, standing outside his door.
She was debating with herself whether to knock the door or go upstairs to her room silently, when something caught her eye.
Her eyes widened in surprise as she stared at it. Remus Lupin of all the people? She couldn't believe it. She couldn't see clearly what it looked like but she was sure what it was.
She thought she saw Lupin stop whatever he was doing and listen for some source of noise. Not wanting to get caught, she hurried off to her room, giggling to herself. She would certainly have to ask Remus about his little secret.
Tonks found the perfect opportunity to ask Lupin when they had some free time before Mad Eye commenced the Order meeting around two days later.
'Hi Tonks!' Lupin greeted her as she came into his room.
'What are you doing?' she asked.
'Just clearing the mess. Do you want something?' he asked.
'Yeah I wanted to talk' said Tonks looking very serious.
'What is it?' said Lupin looking at her.
Well, Remus Lupin I want to tell you that I have discovered your secret' said Tonks gravely.
Lupin froze. He stared at her for a moment, unable to speak.
'H - how did you...?' his voice trailed off.
'Even if you don't tell me, it doesn't mean that I can't find out.' she said trying to control her laughter. She could sense his tension and she was rather enjoying herself.
'I - I've never exactly tried to hide it. I mean you can't hide something like that for a long time, can you? A - and an intelligent Auror like you is bound to notice. But it's just that I don't like to talk about it' said Lupin.
'I see' said Tonks, her face impassive.
Lupin stared at her. 'This is it' he thought. 'Now she will accuse me of hiding it from her all along and she too will distance herself from me just like most people do. Maybe she's scared. And she won't like me anymore. It's over. It's all over' he thought desperately.
'I don't like it myself. In fact I hate myself for what I am. Sirius tells me I shouldn't think about it but I just can't. It's stuck with me for the rest of my life'
Tonks looked at him confusedly. What was he talking about? It's wasn't making any sense to her.
'Remus -'
'I am sorry I didn't tell you that I am a Werewolf' said Lupin not quite meeting her eye.
'W - what? What are you talking about?' said Tonks.
'You have found out that I am a Werewolf, haven't you? I should've told you when we met but as I said-'
'Remus, I think there is some misunderstanding. I know you are a Werewolf since I joined the order. Mad Eye told me on my first day back.' said Tonks.
'What? You have known this since first day and still...' (And still you are trying to cross that intimacy line?) he wanted to say but he decided to keep his mouth shut.
'Yeah, I did maximum patrolling shifts with you. Mad Eye wanted me to know. And do you think that I wouldn't have realised it? ', said Tonks.
'Yes, obviously you ought to have known about it and of course you would have realised that I was always ill at Full Moon. But you never really mentioned -'
'I thought you wouldn't like to discuss it. Not when we didn't really know each other. But now...' said Tonks slowly.
'Now what?' said Lupin.
Tonks moved a bit closer to him.
'Now that we know each other quite well, if you wish to talk about it -'
'No! I mean, some other time.' said Lupin quickly. Eager to change the subject, he said, 'Which secret of mine were you talking about then if not this?'
'Oh, that!' said Tonks giggling.
'What?' Lupin repeated.
'Well, I have found out that you know, you have got a tattoo on the nape of your neck' said Tonks blushing slightly.
Lupin blinked in surprise. So this was all about his bloody Tattoo! His heart was positively pounding now and he was sure Tonks could hear it.
'And may I know how did you find out about that? Nobody's has noticed it before' said Lupin.
'Don't ask. I just know' she said not meeting his eye.
'I need to know' said Lupin shifting closer to her.
Tonks hesitated and then continued speaking to the floor, 'Last week I happened to see you shirtless-'
'WHAT?!' Lupin yelled.
'Just shirtless!' said Tonks quickly. 'You had walked out from the shower apparantly. I was passing by and the door was ajar and I couldn't help watching-' she broke off.
Lupin raised his eyebrows. 'You couldn't help watching me?'
'Never mind that' said Tonks quickly.
'And then?' prompted Lupin.
'I saw it. I couldn't see it clearly but I knew it was a tattoo and I was so shocked! I mean you seem like the last person to get a Tattoo. I wouldn't have been surprised if Sirius had got it but you - honestly, I didn't expect it' said Tonks.
'Why? What's wrong with me getting a Tattoo?' said Lupin.
Tonks stared at him and then, 'It's not like it's wrong but it also doesn't feel right. I mean you are a sort of calm, mature person. It doesn't go with your personality or outward appearance, I would say. Frankly speaking, I didn't realise you had this kind of a -' she hesitated, 'wild side too'
Lupin laughed. 'I am a Werewolf Tonks' he said.
Tonks winked at him.
'What is it that you have got tattooed by the way?' she asked.
She saw his smile falter. He hesitated for a moment and then said, 'It's a tattoo of a waning moon'
'A moon? Seriously? I mean that's the thing you -' she broke off.
'Yeah, that's the thing I dread the most, or even fear the most, you can say but that's why it's a waning moon. It's that phase when it can't really control me. It makes me feel I have a power over it.' said Lupin looking embarrassed.
Tonks was staring at him, too perplexed to speak.
'I don't know if anybody has told you this before but you are really strong Remus.' she said after a minute.
'I hate it when people give me sympathetic looks. I just feel so helpless sometimes' he said.
'Remus, it's okay. Don't worry about it.' said Tonks, touching his arm.
'Yeah, let's talk about something else' said Lupin giving her a smile.
'Does anyone else know about it?' asked Tonks.
'Nope' said Lupin.
'Not even Sirius?' said Tonks incredulously.
'No, nobody knows about it. You see no one realised it was there coz my robes usually cover it' said Lupin.
'When did you get it done?' asked Tonks.
'In my sixth year when James was busy running behind Lily and Sirius was chasing other girls. They never realised I had done it. And I never bothered to tell them either. That's probably the only secret about me which my friends don't know.' said Lupin.
'Why would they laugh?' asked Tonks.
'Oh they certainly would have found it amusing. It's just like you said - a sincere boy like me get a Tattoo? Doesn't suit my personality. And I don't think I would have been able to explain them my "wild side"' said Lupin smiling.
'No obviously not' said Tonks laughing.
'So I decided to wait until I met someone whom I would like to show my wild side' said Lupin and Tonks stopped laughing.
They were too close now. Tonks could feel his warm breath fanning her face.
'Remus' she whispered putting her hand over his chest.
Their noses were touching one another and Lupin whispered, 'I know it's not right whatever we are doing. I mean I am not safe -'
'Just shut up and kiss me Remus' said Tonks and she felt his lips upon hers as he kissed her gently, letting the passion mount slowly.
When they broke apart, Tonks said, 'Wow. I can't believe this just happened. Our first kiss. I've waited for this so long'
'Nymphad-'
'Just Tonks'
'Tonks, I love you' said Lupin kissing her once again.
'I love you too' said Tonks staring into those brown eyes.
'So, what do you think about the Tattoo?' Lupin asked.
Before she could reply, Molly yelled from downstairs, 'Tonks where are you? I need some help down here!'
'That's Molly, I should get going' said Tonks.
'Not before you answer my question' said Lupin.
'You know what? The best part about it is that it's just me who knows your little secret and if you ask me about the Tattoo, I think... it's rather sexy' she said winking at him.
And before he could answer, she had dashed out of the room to help Molly but not before stumbling by the door.
END