Written in 20 minutes coming down from my high after watching Thor : Ragnarok
So no Beta. Heck, I wrote it on my phone's notes. I wouldn't be surprised if autocorrect messed with me somewhere in this.
Brother.
Oh how Loki hated that word. No matter how many times he corrected Thor, the oaf would not stop calling him by that title.
He remembered days long past, when even in their youth he had wished his brother were not so. He had oft dreamed of being the only son, of having an actual claim to the throne.
Loki was a jealous creature. He knew that. He hated and he schemed and he destroyed what others had if he could not take it for his own. Oh how he wished he had the strength of his dear brother, a strength great enough that all of Asgard would look upon him and know him to be the greater king that he knew he could be. Strength enough that Odin would look upon him and see him as the greater heir to the throne.
Loki was a prideful creature. He was proud of his place as Prince of Asgard. He was above all the others, as was his right. But that brother of his was somehow always better. Even if Loki was the one who knew to think before acting. Even if Loki was the one to understand war was not something Asgard wanted. Even if Loki was the one to get his foolish brother out of whatever trouble the fool had gotten himself into. If his brother did not exist then surely everyone else would see, would acknowledge him for all of his greatness.
Loki has always lived in the shadow of his brother. He had never known anything but. He had always been the villain of the tale, the usurper in the eyes of Asgard even when they had not known he had no birthright.
Yet all of that Loki could have lived with, he had spent years enough adjusting to Asgard's distaste of him. He had spent time enough living with this brother that he could scarcely imagine a life without the muscle head.
But Loki was a monster. He had known it long before that fateful day in Jotenheim. He had known it centuries before, back when he had been a small boy, still believing that he could convince Asgard he was not the evil they already seemed to believe he was.
For Loki wished Thor was not his brother, not because he was jealous or prideful or coveted the throne. Loki wished he were not related to Thor because I'm his youth, his admiration for his elder brother's skill had subtly turned to love.
It had been the only golden shimmer of hope when he had found his true heritage. He was a monster, the thing that every child of Asgard was told horror stories about. But Thor was not his brother. They were not related. Loki was free to love Thor.
In a world where no one cared about gender, for the issue had never been as prevalent on Asgard as it appeared to be on Midgard, the dream of loving Thor was not so far fetched. Though now, Loki could see it had been naught but wishful thinking.
No matter how he protested. No matter how he insisted they were not related. Thor would not stop calling him brother. Thor would always think of him as a member of his blood.
And blood, real or imagined, would never love blood. To do so would make one a monster. Loki may have become a monster long ago, may have accepted it. But the golden prince, the King of Asgard now was not one. For that was what made Loki love him, for Thor was pure and good and untainted my the monstrosity that was Loki.
Loki could accept it. He knew he could, no matter how he did not wish to. He could give in and allow the use of that disgusting word. He could even use it himself.
He hated being Thor's brother, but if that was the only way he could stay by his love's side then so be it.
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