Disclaimer: I do not own anything Harry Potter...except his insanity, the rest is JK's
A/N: Ok so no killing me because this is not an update to any of my other stories, I've kind of lost all my skills and with stuff in RL affecting the tone of what I write everything else is just clichéd rubbish.
A/N2: Ok so the chapters are only really drabbley type pieces that fit together and I only have four written I have no idea if it will go past four or not, sorry.
Warnings: Major OC Childish/insane harry and AU timeline like Sirius is alive and the Order don't use Grimmauld place. Umm...Slash, of course, but there is Het as well! Nothing graphic either way though and a lot of insanity.
This little gem was written into part of a story I was writing but then I decided the rest was rubbish and this was the only bit worth saving. So Enjoy!...Or dont. Your choice really.
"This is your Official Notice"
Train driver, Pimp, Monk...What?
"Remi? Siri?" the order glanced at Harry as he walked in a serious look on his face.
"Are you alright?" Sirius asked standing and Harry nodded
"Harry, my boy where in the middle of a meeting"
"This will only take a second and I have to tell them something very important 'coz otherwise I get told off for not discussing my future with them. They told me I had to after I told them I wanted be a train driver" Sirius chuckled as Remus groaned some of the things Harry came up with were outrageous and he was sure they were designed to give Remus and aneurism or a heart attack or something. He was sure he was doing it on purpose.
"Do I have to sit down for this one?"
"I would" he nodded and Sirius raised an eyebrow but sat "after much thought; I have decided where I would like my future intimate relationships to go"
"If this is becoming a pimp again" Remus muttered as he pinched his nose and Sirius chuckled
"Let's hear it then" the Black Lord smiled
"This is your official notice that I have decided to create Harry's Harem" Remus choked as the order gaped and Sirius had to swallow his laugh "however in keeping up with the mundane world's political correctness and sexual equality it shall be open to a few chosen males"
"Is he for real?" Tonks gaped
"Yes" Remus said sounding pained
"I knew your fame was going to your spoiled brat ego" Snape muttered
"Well, now you're defiantly not getting into my harem" he tutted childishly before turning his attention to Remus and Sirius again, the werewolf looking like he would prefer it to be a full moon "I shall approach who I wish but I will take interviews if anyone wishes to be part of it and I haven't chosen them out right, those who have been chosen will be contacted"
"Harry…you're sixteen" Remus said slowly
"Yes, I am aware of how old I am. Now excuse me I have people to contact" he walked out and Remus hit Sirius
"Hey! What was that for!" the convict cried covering his head
"A harem! That is totally your influence!"
"I have never once said the word Harem in front of him! Or even suggested anything similar…at least he's not planning on becoming a monk still"
"He's completely lost it" he sighed "let's hope it's one of those things that only lasts a day" he added and then looked at Sirius and he groaned, they both knew it wouldn't be.
Thoughts?