Title: Forever Young, forever cursedRating: NC-17Summary: Adam Lambert indulges in all the latest hedonistic activities but he never changed, the same can't be said to the painting under the bed.
Beta: PyrografWarnings: Character deaths, drugs use and violencePairing: Kris/Adam Adam/OthersDisclaimer: Oscar Wilde originally wrote the book that this fic is based on. All the people in this belong to themselvesA/N: This is based on 'The portrait of Dorian Gray'Adam Lambert arrived in the City of Angels in 2004, wide eyed and naïve. Like everyone else there he had dreams of superstardom and like most of them he spent his time folding jeans in a nine-to-five job. He found a flat with a young, flamboyant wannabe singer named Brad who was more famous for his satirical Youtube videos then his music. The 1920's Art Deco building wasn't exactly roomy or cheap but it would have to do. "I need to take you to one of my parties,'' Brad announces. Adam had heard about Brad's parties, everyone had, they were famous for debauchery and hedonistic behavior. "It's not my thing,'' Adam shrugs in reply. He would never have the confidence to socialize with the beautiful people the city had to offer."You better make it your thing.'' *~*Adam enters the humid club with Brad glittering on his arm. "Cheeks! Why haven't you introduced me to this beautiful creature before?'' asks a man who was wearing black feathery wings with such comfort that you would think he was born with them. "This is my flat mate Adam,'' Brad says, patting Adam's chest."Nice to meet you Adam,'' the man purrs. "I'm Cassidy.'' Adam shakes his well-moisturized hand. Adam followed the two males into a velvet clad booth."I'll get the drinks,'' Brad says."Thank god,'' Cassidy says dramatically."What do you, um… do?'' Adam asks, awkwardly."Anything I can, preferably in its twenties,'' he grins. Adam blushes "I'm a singer-songwriter but then aren't we all.''"Hi,'' a fedora wearing man says as he walks past."Hi Matt,'' Cassidy smiles at him. As soon as he's out of ear shot Cassidy's smile fades "Eugh that Justin Timberlake look is getting old.'' "Three Cheektini's,'' Brad says, placing three colourful cocktails on the round table."I've never heard of it,'' Adam says."Cheek's little invention,'' Cassidy says rolling his eyes. Brad pulls a little silver box out of the pocket in his pants. He opens it up to reveal weed, filters and papers. Adam's eye widen as he watches Brad roll the joint, he tries to tell himself that this is LA and this how the beautiful people live. Brad takes a drag and closes his eyes, savouring the feeling before passing it to Cassidy."Wanna try some, baby doll?'' Brad asks as Cassidy inhales."I've never before.''"No one stays a virgin for very long is this city.'' And then he walks in, he was like an angel in a room full of devils."Who's that?'' Adam asks, eagerly."Mother Theresa's here,'' Brad mocks."It's Kris Allen, another singer I think. He's famous for missionary work, he recently went to Morroco.''"I wouldn't turn down some missionary with him,'' Brad jokes, licking his lips. On his arm was a pretty blonde girl, adorable in a childish way. "I thought he was gay,'' Cassidy frowns. "Not with that fashion sense,'' Brad tuts, waving his joint around. "Nobody outside of Texas wears plaid.'' *~*The next time Adam sees Kris is on a flyer stuck to a wall. Kris was playing at a local club in the artsy part of town. Contrary to what Brad had said Kris' music was like ('Boring, arty-farty shit') Adam enjoyed it, he played music from the soul."Kris!'' Adam yells above the music of the indie band playing in the club. "I really enjoyed your set.''"Really?'' Kris replies wide-eyed. Adam guessed he didn't get compliments like that of men in a spiked dog collar and studded gold leather jacket."I saw you at the club the other day…''"Yeah, you were sat with Brad and um…''"Cassidy,'' Adam finishes for him. "And you were with the blonde woman.''"Katy. My friend Katy.''"You're friend!'' Adam half cheers "I'm sorry, I'll leave you in peace,'' Adam says walking away."You forgot to tell me something.'' Adam turns around to look at Kris."I've never heard someone put so much feeling into song as you do, when you sing about heartbreak I can see the pain in your beautiful brown eyes, you make me feel your pain.''"Thank you,'' Kris replies, shyly. "I meant your name.''"Oh,'' Adam chuckles "Adam, Adam Lambert.'' *~*"Where are you taking Kris on this date?'' Cassidy asks, paintbrush in hand. Cassidy was painting Adam for his new project. "I was thinking a picnic.''"A picnic!'' Brad squeals before erupting into laughter. "Take him dancing or to the movies.''"I think a picnic would be sweet and then take him stargazing.''"Sounds like some cheesy Meg Ryan movie. Why are you not painting me, anyway?''"Because you never stay sober long enough.'' *~*"Wow musicals, you don't hear that one much,'' Kris says."Of course I'd like to be a rock star but… I somehow think the industry wouldn't want me.''"You could be anything, you have the guts to do it.''"Wise words Mr. Allen.'' Adam leans forwards and kisses Kris. Kris kisses back instantly, wrapping his arms around Adam's neck. *~*"Marry me,'' Adam says. Kris rolls onto his belly so he could see Adam better."Are you serious?''"Yes!''"But we've only known each for a few months, but yes I'd love to marry you.'' *~*"I have something to announce,'' Adam says at one of Brad's parties. "I'm getting married.''"Please tell me you're fucking with me,'' Brad says, laughing in a high-pitch tone. "I love him and I want to spend forever with him.''"Why have one when you can taste the rainbow.''"Congratulations baby,'' Cassidy says hugging Adam."At least someone is happy for me.''"Brad is just jealous no one wants to stay in his bed for more then a night.''"Catty!'' Brad squeaks. *~*"It's magnificent, you've made me look amazing,'' Adam tells Cassidy as he observes the portrait."I only painted what I saw,'' Cassidy says. "I'm hanging this on my wall now, it's amazing,'' Adam says, he kisses Cassidy's cheek."That picture will look like that forever, it's a shame we won't,'' Brad muses."Well like Queen says 'Who wants to live forever?''' Adam replies."I would if I could look this beautiful forever. Would you not sell your soul to the devil to look this beautiful forever?''"I guess I would,'' Adam replies, grinning. *~*"You're taking me to a strip club!'' Adam says. They were stood outside 'Nemesis' an underwater themed strip club."You need to go to these places before you get emasculated.''"I'm getting married not becoming a priest.''"Shut up! Anyway I need to get laid.'' The club was full of men covered in nothing but shining green body paint and tiaras. Adam sat in the shell-shaped booth as he watched Brad lick tequila out of an Adonis-type male's chest."Shit!'' Adam says looking at his watch. "Brad, I was supposed to go to Kris' gig tonight.''"He'll perform again, tell him you were working,'' Brad replies, the man's hand down his skin-tight silver pants."No! I need to go,'' Adam says grabbing his leather jacket. He quickly runs out the club followed by Brad who was half-hard."I had to tip that fucking whore for half a hand job.'' *~*"What did you think of my set, I added 'All these things that I have done' to it, adds a more current feel to it,'' Kris says. Brad imitates a dramatic yawn."I'm sorry baby but we got a little sidetracked and we missed most of it,'' Adam says, apologetically. Kris nods and turns his head away, biting his lip."I thought I smelt alcohol and weed on you, I told myself it was just being paranoid.''"We just went for a drink after work, nothing happened.''"Nothing ever happens does it,'' Kris says sarcastically."Joint, Adam baby?'' Brad says holding it out to him and batting his lashes."Brad, tell him I sat in the strip club all night by myself while I watched you lick shots off…''"So you were in a strip club,'' Kris half-yells. He drops his engagement ring onto the table and runs away. *~*Three days after Kris called off the engagement there was a knock on the door."Is that one of your booty calls?'' Adam asks Brad."I hope not, I have no make up and I look ghastly,'' Brad says looking over his Entertainment weekly magazine."Adam,'' says Katy."Katy, right? You're Kris' friend.'' Katy slaps him around the face and bursts into tears. "What… the… fuck.'' Katy throws a red and blue plaid shirt at him."I brought this for Kris,'' Adam says, holding the shirt. "Is that blood?'' He inspects the red stain on the cotton."Did you not hear about him?'' her voice is quivering and quiet and she looks like she's on the verge of more tears."Kris? No.''"He overdosed last night. I found him in the bathroom of a seedy club vomiting blood.''"Not my Kris,'' Adam says, tears flowing down his face."You did it to him, bastard!'' Katy screams, she launches herself at him, her small fists coming to contact with his chest."Get off him you mad bitch,'' Brad says, pulling Katy of him by her blonde hair."He killed Kris, the heartless bastard he killed him!'' "Get out of here before I call the police,'' Brad says. He drags Katy out of the apartment by her wrist while Adam lay? on the floor."I'm so sorry,'' Brad says. He holds his hand out and Adam takes it, hoisting himself up. "You okay?'' Adam wipes his tears away and runs to his room before Brad can ask another stares at the painting hung on the wall. He was so happy back then, he had Kris by him. On closer inspection he saw the painting had an ugly purple mark across the face, like a bruise. Adam rubs the same spot on his face; on second thought, he should have a bruise on his face from where Katy had hit him. He touches the sore bit on the bottom of his back that now wasn't even tender.
He closely inspected his hands; the burn mark he had on his palm from trapping his hand behind a radiator at age four had gone, in fact every scar or bruise he had ever possessed had disappeared. He looks in the mirror, he looked normal, no red eyes or acne scar to be seen. He looked back at the painting to see the image had all his weaknesses."It can't be,'' he whispers to himself. He carefully touches the image; the canvas was wet with tear-like droplets. "Where are you going?'' Brad says as Adam rushes across the living room with jacket in hand."I need a drink.''"Don't do anything stupid,'' Brad yells after him but it was too late. ~*~Adam grabs the fedora of Matt's head and places it on his own, still moving his hips erotically. Adam moves closer and takes Matt's bottom lip between his own. "Is that normal?'' Cassidy asks."What? The man that's dressed as a circus showgirl or the man wearing nothing but blue paint and a toga?''"I meant about Adam, it's only been a month since, you know Kris and he's already making out with guys.''"Grief works in strange ways,'' Brad shrugs "I love this song, let's dance!''Adam works his hands into Matt's jeans, still kissing him."Are you still dating that Kris dude?'' Matt asks. Adam grabs his cock too hard and pushes Matt away from him, knocking him to the floor. "What?''"Don't ever mention Kris again!'' Adam yells. Cassidy runs up the boy and pulls him away."Whoa, you're scaring him,'' Cassidy says, he holds a trembling Adam in his arms. Adam pulls away from Cassidy and runs. "Wait!'' *~*"I wish I could look as good as you after a two month drink and drug binge,'' Brad tells Adam."We're having a house party tonight,'' Adam replies, he takes a sip of vodka."Thanks for telling me sweetie,'' Brad says sarcastically, rolling his eyes."Fuck you!'' Adam says, banging the glass onto the table."You wish.''"Where's the bathroom?'' A tall Indian kid asks."Through there,'' Adam points. Brad looks at him questioning. "Some guy I met at the club, name starts with an A.'' *~*"You took my painting down,'' Cassidy says."I'm sucking on your dick and you're worried about missing artwork?'"Did you not like it?'' Adam gets off the floor and sits next to Cassidy on the bed."You are fucking odd.''"You told me you loved it.''"I do. We have house parties here and I didn't want anything to get spilled on it.''"Where is it?''"In storage.'' *~*"They actually want to show my work!'' Cassidy says, bouncing around the lounge."You better not put that photo of me asleep,'' Brad threatens."You better be nice to me then,'' Cassidy says, batting his eyelashes. "Adam can I show that painting of you?''"No, it's personal,'' Adam snaps. "It's so personal it's in storage.''"Calm down, queens,'' Brad says holding his hands up on peace. *~*"What are you doing?'' Adam asks, severely. Cassidy pulls a brown bag out from under Adam's bed."I found the picture, it seems it wasn't in storage…''"Don't touch that!'' Cassidy gasps as he pulls the bag off the portrait. The image of Adam was a far cry from the beautiful portrait he had painted. Adam's skin was pale and thin, with his cheekbones jutting out unnaturally. Cassidy looks up at Adam's angry face in shock."I told you not too touch my things.''"What happened to it?'' Cassidy looks up at Adam's perfect face; unmark by alcohol and drug abuse. "Take it too the gallery but only if I get to go with you.'' *~*"I can't believe Cassidy is missing this party. He'll die when I tell him he missed Allison slapping Danny.''"I haven't seen him in a few days,'' Adam says. "Maybe he's with a guy.''"If he was with the guy that he texted me the picture of, he'd probably be on top of the bar frenching him.''"True. He's probably just busy with his art.''"Art? He has a picture of me dressed like some queer military whore.'' Adam rolls his eyes. *~*"Adam,'' Brad cries in to phone. Adam excuses himself from the checkout and takes his call into the storage room."What's the matter?'' Adam asks."They've found Cassidy in a bin downtown and he's been shot. He's dead.''"Shit, I'll…I'll be there in a minute.'' *~*"How could anyone do that to him,'' Brad says, eyes pooling with tears. They sat on a bench outside the graveyard. "All that talent just… gone, wasted.''"You think it was some homophobic bastards?'' Brad asks him."I don't know,'' Adam says quietly. "I don't want to think about it.'' *~*"I'm leaving, I can't take this place anymore.''"Why!'' Brad says over the kitchen island surface "You can't leave me here alone.''"Everything reminds me of Cassidy, I can't stand it.''"What about me?''"I will be back, when…'' Adam hugs him. *~*Adam disappeared from LA, the only thing letting Brad know he was alive was a monthly email. The messages talked of hitchhiking across America, traveling across Europe and the hedonistic adventures he underwent in such turned into months, months turned into years, years turned into decades and the emails became less and less until Brad stopped receiving themOne day, no less then twenty-eight years after his departure Adam returned. Battered satchel over his arm he didn't look a day over twenty-five as he entered the party."Adam? Is that you?'' Brad's voiced had lost its theatrical ring. His face was rounder and his hair was in a modest light brown cut."Missed me?'' he smiles."You haven't changed!'' everyone gasps."I've missed you bitch,'' Brad says, hugging Adam. "You look amazing, weed in Amsterdam has had a good effect in you.''"I guess, you look… different.''"I want you to meet my husband, Jamie,'' Brad says, taking a tall man by the hand."You finally got married, wow. Never thought I'd see that.''"Alisan has two daughters, teenage girls,'' Brad says. "Did you find a guy or girl to settle down with?''"No,'' Adam smiles. "Many men have tried to conquer me but no one triumphed.''"You didn't even say goodbye to your Mom, she rung me everyday to see if you had come back.''"How's she?''"I'm sorry, she died a few years back of a stroke,'' Brad says. "A lot has changed around here.'' ***************"How does he do it?'' Brad asks, he inspects a picture taken of Adam twenty-nine years ago. It was a picture of he and Brad in a dominatrix club. Brad was a lot skinnier then, more boyish where the only difference with Adam was now he had a sad look in his eye. Like he had left his soul in a Parisian café. "Maybe he just uses good moisturizer,'' James replies. "Look at those silver pants, where they ever fashionable?''"My gold hot pants were better. Ever since he met Cassidy he hasn't aged, it's just strange.''"Maybe Cassidy is like a luck charm for him.''"Cassidy painted that picture for him!'' Brad says, his mind working a million times per hour. "What did we do with it?''"We definitely kept it when we moved, it was in that brown bag.'' ******************"Kris, beautiful Kris, what did I do to you?'' Adam says, as he stands in front of Kris' grave. He collapses on his knees, sobbing in front of the moss-ridden stone. "None of them, none of those whores in bed will ever replace you. You're the only one for me.'' For the first time in thirty years Adam cried his eyes and heart out. *********************"No way!'' Brad says, pulling the portrait of Adam painted by Cassidy. The image of Adam was less than beautiful, with yellowing skin with purpling patches, his thick hair was almost gone and what was left of it was a horrible mated brown. "Is that normal? Does all art get like that?'' Jamie asks."I don't think so,'' Brad sits and stares at the portrait for a while. "This is how… how he should look. I know this sounds crazy but it's like his portrait ages but he doesn't.''"That is totally crazy, maybe you should talk to him.''"Like he's going to tell me.'' Brad sees a feathery wing in the bag of Adam's belongings. He pulls it out to reveal it's splattered with blood. "These are Cassidy's wings, he was only wearing one of these when they found him.''"Anyone in?'' Adam yells from the lounge."I'll distract him while you hide this stuff,'' Jamie says."What the fuck are you doing with my stuff?'' Adam says from the doorway."You killed him, didn't you? What was it? The drugs? Did he steal one of your men?''"He knew about the portrait,'' Adam says malevolently, raising a thick eyebrow. "I had to kill him, now I'll have to kill you two.''"I can forget about it,'' Jamie says quickly, raising his hands."Bullshit, you need to burn this fuckery!''"I don't think so,'' Adam says, he pulls a gun out of his leather jacket."You don't have the guts to do it,'' Brad spits, he slowly gets up. "I shot Cassidy didn't I? I cleaned his blood off these walls.''"You used to be so sweet innocent, a perfect gentleman. Look at you! You've lost your heart and your soul. Kris would be ashamed of you!''"Don't mention Kris!'' Adam yells, his hand tight around the gun shook. "Why?'' Brad walks slowly towards him. "You know it's the truth. Kris loved you because you opened doors for him and held his hand as you walked down the street together. Kris loved the gentlemen not this cold-hearted shell of a bastard that people tell me is my best friend.''"You think it's easy or me, I see my friends grow old and find love and here I am, the shadow of the young spark I used to be.''"It doesn't have to be like that, you can make it alright.''"It's this,'' Adam says pointing at his lithe body "Or death.'' Brad pulls out an elaborate silver lighter."I know which one I'd choose,'' Jamie says. Brad holds the flame to the painting; Adam puts his hand up as if to protect himself from the flame. Jamie grabs Adam by the neck and tries to wrestle him to the ground; while he was being distracted Brad brought the flame to the ageing canvas. "Fuck!'' Adam cried from Jamie's hold. ********************"Adam, how we miss you!'' Brad says, lifting his cocktail glass into a toast."You were a good kid, deep down I know you were.'' Matt says."Shame you got lost along the way.'' Alisan adds, twirling the pink straw in her glass. They were gathered around the portrait of Adam. The portrait had survived the fire, the man didn't. Two hours after Brad set fire to the portrait and fled with his partner the fire department found a withered man burnt to smithereens in the wreckage of the building, the post-mortem identified him as a sixty-three year old man. ************************Although the man wouldn't live forever the two gravestones that stood side by side in the graveyard would. They buried him alongside Kris; the man that had made Adam, but in the end had broke him to pieces.