My Heart's A Battleground
By, aZnfantasygoddess
- Dedicated to -
My Brother, a big fan of Zack
- Disclaimer -
Final Fantasy VII by Square Enix/Square Soft
In Aerith's Point of View
What do you call this feeling when your heart just beats so much and you don't know if it'll ever stop? Why is it, that I died? Then being resurrected from the dead only to see him again? I died for two things…
To save the planet and…
To escape Him…
I don't know when it started, but it must have been the first time when I asked him if he wanted to buy my flowers. He was a bit hesitant, but he bought one anyways. I guess it was something about his eyes that made me want to melt. He looked like he was in a rush, a hurry, but I was perfectly fine where I was. I couldn't even panic. When he ran out of my sight, I thought that was the last time I'll ever see him again. His spiky blonde hair and his mesmerizing blue eyes made me not want to sleep at all. He looked so young, like one year younger than me. He also reminded me so much about…him. But let's not refer to him right now. I just want to talk about him.
I never expected to see him again. But when my flowers called in the sanctuary of the church, he fell out of nowhere onto my precious little yellow flowers. It shocked me so much. I guess I planted the yellow flowers there because it reminded me of his blonde hair. Or I could have just been because yellow was a scarce color in Midgar. What I couldn't believe most was…He remembered me! From selling him just one flower, he remembers me! What he did to the flower, I don't know, but maybe he gave it to his girlfriend or something. (Which I found out he gave it to Marlene.) I guess every time I saw him and had that heartache in my heart. That little pain that gets so heavy and makes me want to drop. It happened because he was the cause. Who would have knew, that Midgar's little girl had found love? Of course, I wasn't so young, oh about nineteen or so. He was eighteen. But on with the story, I knew he had his eyes for another girl. A girl I knew quite well. I was jealous of her in a way, how could she steal his heart and me? I knew I was weak! She was much stronger than me! Not to mention really beautiful. I was only a flower girl with no beauty but innocence. When I met him then in the church…He saved me from Shinra, and I asked him to become my protector. He said yes but at a price. I was so desperate and couldn't control what I was saying.
"I see that you have that materia, do you know how to work it?" He asked as I stared at his handsome features.
"Yeah I do, but it won't work, well it doesn't work," I answered making sure my voice would obey me and come out right.
"Oh I see," he answered. I was about to faint. His voice was a melody I couldn't quite understand. I had to think of something quick that wouldn't embarrass me. But I guess it deceived me.
"Hey from now on, could you be my protector?" I asked and I mentally slap myself inside. What a dumb question! Although I do need protection from Shinra, since they wanted the last Ancient. He was in deep thought as looked over to my flowers.
"Yeah," he answered as he slightly paused for a moment. "but it'll cost ya." So I thought about for a minute or so. Since I was so desperate and didn't know what I was saying…
"Alright, what about going out with you once?" I asked as he thought again then nodded.
"Okay," he answered as I held out my hand.
"Alright, it's a deal," I replied as I smiled at him.
Of course, we went out, but we did nothing but talked. But before all of that, we had to go and save Tifa. We disguise ourselves as girls, I asked him to dress a girl too so I wouldn't have to go alone and do all the work. And I didn't know how this Tifa look like since I never attend the bar in Midgar. Of course, the skit we had that day was interesting, not only did he save Tifa but he saved me too. Hahahah, I have to laugh…
"This guy is crazy, let's talk to him," I said after he tried to take advantage of me. So Cloud started the talk.
"Is there a way to get out of Midgar?" Cloud ask the guy backed up on his bed.
"No, I won't tell!" He yelled as Cloud set one of his foot on the ridge of the bed.
"Well, if you don't…I'll slice them," Cloud challenge. "Them" as in the guy's anatomy, but let's not get into family life here. His face turned pale as he blurted,
"Alright! Alright! Yes there is a way!" I got curious, I wanted to get out of this place, because I know I was destined to now or later.
"How?" I asked.
"Why don't you guys find out on your own!" He yelled at us.
"Tell me, or else," I leaned my leg on the bed in the same manner as Cloud, his pose still there. "I'll rip them." His face paled more and I could almost hear the beating of his heart.
"Okay! Okay! There's a wall at the Hidden Place of the Golden Gate!" he yelled his expression scared as his eyes were wide.
"Exactly, where is this Golden Gate?" Tifa asked. So she wanted to know too. If this was in America, I'd say in San Francisco, but just ignore that comment, I don't even know why the heck I said that.
"Why don't you find out girl!" He yelled only to Tifa this time. Tifa leaned her leg on the bed in the same manner as Cloud and I.
"I'll smash them."
Of course, that was a memory I don't want to forget. Not long after that, we met Red XIII and got out of Midgar. I heard Cloud's story for the first time, and I could not help but relate it to his story. I had no intention of thinking about him again. I knew he was dead. He just had to be.
After my date with him and all other events. I was killed, by Jenova's son, Sephiroth. I knew I was going to die, by him especially, but it was for the planet. I guess reason number two didn't come into effect until after meeting Kadaj, Yazoo, and Loz. They were the larva of Sephiroth. I was dead then and I could only telepathically talk to Cloud in his thoughts. I pretended to be so happy and so relax, but he couldn't feel any of the pain I held inside my heart for him. When Kadaj decided to stick the sword into his heart, it must have touched mine too, for I know I felt it twice a painful as he did. But it didn't matter.
In the shadow realm, I met him. He was there waiting for me all along. His long, spiky, black hair and his soft blues eyes that rivaled Cloud's. I stood there staring, for I didn't know what I could do. I didn't make the first move, but he did. He started walking towards me. When we were inches apart he stopped, as blue versus green. I wanted to cry. He was my first love, but yet I fell in love with his clone. Maybe he was the one for me. My arms were spread ready to hug him when I just went through him. I turned to look back only to see Cloud hugging Tifa, as he rushed over to grab Tifa's other arm. The tears that threatened to fall out of my eyes fell. Crystalline tears that echoed the planet. With those tears created the River of Life.
She won, once again. Both of the one's I've long loved. She's taken both of them from me. My heart is beating with serious rage and hatred. The tears has stopped, I couldn't cry anymore. My eyes were burning as I hear a long beep in my ears. Why couldn't I shed tears of blood? Why not? Why won't it accept me! Why won't anyone! I sadly look at everything before I decided to make my last exit and existence. He was somehow granted the power of mortality again, while I was the melody of the wind and the grains of sand. I caressed the faces of the one's I loved as I let out the cry of the planet. It rained for seven days and seven nights. I was drenched in my own tears. I wish so hard, so hard that they can all pay for breaking my heart. But all I could do was stare, for they have blocked me from all their thoughts. They have pushed me back and won't let me in. I stand dumbly as I turn my back on them. I never want to see them anymore.
In my dreams, I've seen them all, replaying the thoughts in my head. Then he just had to curse me, not only him, but all of the Ancients. When I found out I only had an hour left to live, all I wanted to do was see them for one last time. But seeing them was a mistake.
I saw them together, in a passionate embrace, their lips locked, like they were meant for each other, which they were. Her hand was hidden in his hair, since he had just taken a shower and it was still a little wet which made his hair stay down. He was in nothing but a towel covering his manly part. His hands touched her like I have wanted them to touch me. His lips trailing kisses down her neck to her breasts. I could no longer watch…I guess I'll go see Zack, but it wasn't such a good idea either.
He was standing there with a blonde girl in his arms. She had the same sea blue eyes, and she was crying as he tried to calm her. He whispered sweet words to her, I could hear. I notice this bad predicament when I noticed the slight bulge in her stomach. She was pregnant with his child.
What did I do wrong to the planet to let it discipline me like this? It pained me to see them together while I had no one. I let out another scream, not the planet's scream, but this one was special because my voice was heard in a thunderous melody all over the world. Let it be known, that I have loved so much, only to be broken. My heart's been fighting so much to only find itself being the battleground. I'm going to fight for myself. The fight for love, the fight for immortality. I let out tears as the planet begin to eat me outside in. My body pained in all places…I let out yells and tears…I saw the drops…the drops of red…It was raining red! From my tears…and from those fighters from the battleground in my heart…