The day Callum met the gruffalo.
Callum was an incredible strange young boy, Callum liked to drink... Alot. Every now and again when Callum had downed a few, he enjoyed asking people if they "Would like some bum". This is the story of the incredible journey Callum took when he asked that question and how he eventually managed to lose his virginity.
Callum was exploring the misty wood near lake Wakahakalugi when he came across a man named Keith. "Hello young boy" Said Keith. "you shouldn't be this close to lake wakahakalugi, haven't you heard the gruffalo lives there".
"There's no such thing as a gruffalo" Said Callum as he walked away from the Keith. " if there is such thing, I'll find that gruffalo bizzatch and fuck its brains up"
Callum carried on walking towards Lake Wakahakalugi, When he found a keg of beer amongst the swampy sewage, "WTF is a beer keg doing here" Said Callum regardless he picked up the beer keg and downed the facking lot.
After many a chug later Callum was pissed, he was hallucinating that a hobbit was licking him and in his usual mood he asked the question "would you like some bum?". The hobbit nodded suddenly five hobbits came out of a tree as Callum passed out and they carried him off to there secret cave lair.
Callum awoke in a cave with an incredibly sore arse, he heard a strange roar coming from further into the cave, slowly Callum walked closer and closer to the screeching noise until he saw the vague figure of a bear creature. The strange bear creature thingy ma bob was sitting in a rocking chair with a hobbit pleasuring him sexually. "What are you?" Asked Callum.
"They calls me tha baddass gruffalo" Shouted the gruffalo.
"wait…I read that book, You were afraid of a mouse!" said callum
"WTF chu talking ashit fool" Said the gruffalo. "You must be talking about ma gay brother, I SHANKED THE BITCH".
"Wtf happened last night?" Asked Callum.
"Uhhrmm yeah…We abused you sexually…" Said the gruffalo.
"WTF what did u do to me! Asked Callum.
"Uhhm…Rough sex" Whispered the gruffalo.
"Ohwells" said Callum. "How am I supposed to get home?"
"I can teleport you there!" answered the gruffalo. "If you do something for me"
Unfortunately Callum was still abit pissed from the night before and asked the one question he was known for asking "Would you like some bum?"
Anywhay, After a long session of sexual conflict, the gruffalo was getting ready to teleport Callum home. "Just climb apon my lap and I will teleport you home" Said the gruffalo. "But you have to be naked…"
"Ok" said Callum. As he striped down to his birthday suit…
The end.