Disclaimer:
I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn nor do I gain any money by doing this. KHR and its characters belong to Amano Akira. Please do not sue me because I'm just a rabid fanboy who is currently unemployed and just suddenly got addicted with KHR fandom and the smexy yaoi of the characters.
Warning:
It's Yaoi 802780 (Yamamoto x Tsuna x Yamamoto), as in two Yamamotos fighting for Tsuna's love. A love triangle between Real!Takeshi x Tsuna and Robo!Takeshi x Tsuna. If this subject turns you off, you had better press the Back button. Alright, you have been warned! I don't want any complaints, reports or flames about this story since I don't think I do you any harms by uploading this story to the net.
Robo Takeshi Versus Yamamoto Takeshi! ─ Chapter 1
'Can't I Have A Normal Birthday Bash?'
It was October 14 in Namimori when Sawada Tsunayoshi was sleeping like a rock on top of his cozy bed. The morning had already broken when the brunette was still wandering aimlessly on his deep slumber, probably dreaming about some fabulous things that he could barely achieve in his real life.
Usually, some people would say that if someone's having a dream, they should wake up and chase their dreams. But, no, it was not something that Dame-Tsuna would do. His motto was something like, if I had a beautiful dream, I ought to go to sleep again and maybe I could continue my dream. At least, that's what he thought in his daily life. Nevertheless, since it's the weekend, Tsuna didn't really need to wake up that soon. He could sleep for a little while now, relaxing his sore muscles and mind a little bit because, later, he was surely in for a surprise.
Because, October 14 was his birthday!
It was probably around 9 AM now when Tsunayoshi just woke up from his quite a peaceful slumber. He was sleeping for a while back then. But once he noticed something wrong was happening to him, he was forced to be back from his little wonders down to the so-called reality. Although, he was still closing his eyes deep shut, trying so hard to get back and continue his dream, he couldn't help but to hear the pestering voice that kept waking him up.
"Wake up, Tsu-kun! Today is your birthday!" a merry but also very motherly voice tone was chirming right beside of him, bugging him from reaching back to his La La land. It seemed like the voice tone was almost too familiar for him.
Even so, Tsuna still wouldn't bother to respond from it. He was still dead tired because he played his game console for quite late last night, making himself to be on his sleep-deprived state.
That's why he was still trying to close his eyes off and shunned out everything near him. Heck, he really wished for one more hour sleep! Was it really too much to ask?
"Tsu-kun, if you don't wake up now, you're going to be late."
Another voice was ringed out from the same individual but this time, it made Tsuna to wonder. He was going to be late? For what? Still, the sleeping brunette was still ignoring the person from waking him up out of his sleepy state.
"Mmmm... five more minutes, Mom..." he mumbled unwarily to the said voice as he shifted a little on his bed, making himself to be more comfortable on his cozy bed.
And, he decided to sleep again but that was until he heard something so frightening...
"Tsu-kun, wake up! Don't you want to see your birthday dress that I bought? It's so pretty!"
Wait a minute. Did she just say dress? Like really really dress? Did she also say pretty? Oh no, what the hell would that suppose to mean? Was that a girl dress? The cute frilly and pantsy dress with quite amount of girlish laces on its front, skirts, and its waist? Of course, it made Tsuna's mind to be completely shocked of it!
'What did Mom mean by dress? A birthday dress? For what? Me? But, I don't wear that kind of─' just when he finished arranging his thoughts, he could simply conclude it all into one straight conclusion. He responded with his one and only, signature, probably copyrighted, girlish shriek of the Vongola Decimo.
"Hiieeeee!"
Hearing such words as 'your birthday dress', it definitely brought him back to reality. He snapped his eyes wide open, fully awake from his sleepy state and jerked all his body backward, making an effective distance in between them.
He abruptly drew all his body back with a quick force and it made him to fall off from his bed, with his head hitting on the tatami mat first. No wonder he could be so much an idiot sometimes. He had suffered so much damage on his head.
After he stood up from the floor, he rubbed his head slightly with his hands, trying to shake the numbness pain on top of his head. Then, just when his brain had fully worked, he could suddenly remember what Maman was trying to do with him on his birthday party. He lifted his hands and put it all five in front of him, showing a panicked gesture as he then said,
"W-w-wait, M-M-Mom?! Wh-wh-what are you talking about?" he asked with a little bit nervous voice tone on every single of his words. His face looked so pale and tiny itty bitty of sweat drops were falling down on his forehead.
But then, smiling so happily to her own son, Nana decided to reply,
"You're being silly, Tsu-kun! Today is your birthday. Don't you want to look pretty too? I mean, your friends will be here soon. You don't want to look like you just woke up from your bed, now do you?" she said it gently with a bright smile filling her kind and tender face.
Tsuna was definitely on a tight position. He definitely didn't want to argue with his mother but at the same time, his manly pride was at stake! There's no way he would ever wear a girl clothing. It would kill his pride as a man!
"P-p-pretty? A-a-are y-y-you sure? B-b-but I..."
Not even be able to finish his sentence, the young brunette was then surprised by his mother's words. The woman then said,
"Of course! No one would say that you are not pretty after I give you a full touch up! Wait till you see my old cosmetics and my red lipstick!"
This made the brunette boy to sweat-drop even more hearing such a weird statement from his mother. He could feel the urge to run away but he knew that there's nowhere to go.
The Decimo then decided to say,
"W-w-wait! O-o-old cosmetics?! M-M-Mom! I can't! I'm a boy! Boys don't use things like that!"
Such statement only replied by a single understanding chuckle by his mother. Of course, Nana knew that Tsuna was a boy. She only did this for fun, didn't she? Or maybe she suffered from the so-called one-child syndrome? Or maybe she thought that Tsuna just looked so cute as a girl?
She then replied again,
"I know, Tsu-kun! But, I'm sure you will look pretty with that. And, with the beautiful dresses and all the make-ups, fake wigs and eyelashes, I'm sure you will look perfect! I swear you can be so dazzling and make all the girls to be oh-so-jealous of you! Maybe Take-kun will be so surprised when he sees you!" she explained it with a lot of enthusiasm as her smile grew widened and her eyes seemed like wandering to the faraway future.
She actually mentioned Tsuna's Rain Guardian, Yamamoto Takeshi, when she said 'Take-kun'. Weirdly, his mother just liked to match-make Tsuna with Yamamoto when she said it like that.
He wasn't even sure if Takeshi would be surprised in a good way if he did see him wearing fake wigs and eyelashes. Because, seriously, if Maman gave him the fake wigs and eyelashes, Tsuna would end up being a drag queen rather than a cute girl.
Knowing that his effort would be futile, he could only do one thing. He took a deep breath, filling his lung with the air. Tsuna then decided to reply,
"M-M-Mom! I can't! I can't! I can't! Please don't make me show it to you but I have a weewee down on my crotch!" he stuttered it to his mother with a desperate voice tone as a last resort. Not to mention the huge blush on his face
Without a doubt, the Vongola Decimo didn't know what else he could do to make his mother to stop other than saying something like this.
"Tsu-kun, you're being silly! Of course, I know that! But, I just can't help it, Tsu-kun! You're going to look as pretty as Mommy, don't worry!"
Alright, it's official. Nana was officially cracked. Tsuna was a boy, damn it! He might look so cute and adorable with his stuttering and all his blushing. But, he's born to be a man! At least, someday he would be one. He really didn't want to wear a girly outfit or a make-up. He thought that he'd look ridiculous on that! That's why with all there was left in him, he could only do one thing.
He ran for his life!
Heck, he'd rather be kissed by an alligator rather than having to lose his man pride! Although, he didn't really inherit that much of a man pride though. But still, he didn't want to be cross-dressed as a girl!
"I am sorry but I just can't! No! No! No! I don't wanna!"
And thus, the chase and run game began.
He quickly ran away from his room with a fast move, heading to the entrance of his door. After he ran passed it, he quickly closed the door shut, letting his mother trapped inside of his room. It's too bad that he couldn't lock his door fast enough. But then, he just decided to ignore it. He paced up his speed, heading to the staircase near his room and proceeded to swiftly take the stairs and went down to the first floor.
Oh wait, actually, he tripped on his feet and gracefully fell down the stairs to the first floor because he could hear his mother was singing playfully something like,
"I promise Mommy will make you pretty, Tsu-kun!"
He headed to his living room while he was running with his whole life out and decided to hide on the room. He quickly opened the door to the living room, sighing a little with how hard it was to open the door.
And, there he could see it.
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"
Oh wow. How he didn't expect it to be like this! All of his guardians were all here! There were quite some people that he really held dear. The Vongola Guardians were all here, like Gokudera Hayato, Sasagawa Ryohei and even Rokudo Mukuro or Hibari Kyoya! Not only that, he could also see some of the Arcobalenos too, like for example, Colonello, Fon and Skull. Also, Kozato Enma was here too. Weirdly, Lambo, Bianchi, I-Pin and Fuuta weren't present.
They were all celebrating Tsuna's birthday party and arranged such surprising event like this in the living room! More like a Host Club though. Because, his house was now filled with quite some amount of handsome looking boys!
Tsuna was definitely so shocked at this. He didn't know that he would get a birthday surprise by this early.
And, of course, his birthday wouldn't be perfect if a certain baseball lover wasn't here, right? That's why he glanced around to look at the sign of his Rain Guardian whereabouts. But, after he moved his eyes for a while, scanning throughout the living room, he couldn't see him.
'Ta-Ta-Takeshi... is n-n-not h-h-here?' he wondered disappointedly in his mind, with his face slightly turned into a downward frown.
But then, before he turned sadder than this, he was actually surprised by the huge cake in front of him. The cake was actually looking very interesting and delicious. It was almost like a wedding cake, with white creamy layers on top of it and fresh strawberries with a white cream on top of it and encircling the upper layer of the cake. There were also small lit candles on the center of the cake, with the same amount of Tsuna's current age.
Suddenly, from behind him, he could feel a gentle pat on his shoulder. When he tilted his head to his back, it was Maman who came from his room just before!
"See? All of your friends are all here to wish you a happy birthday, Tsu-kun!" she gave a single one-sided hug to the startled brunette as she smiled so brightly to her son.
Tsuna could feel all relieve knowing that his mother was only joking at him when she wanted to dress him up as a girl. It seemed that Tsuna's Maman did such thing to incidentally guide him at the living room and surprised him with such thing! She really got him all good though because for a second, Tsuna really believed that his mother was trying to turn him into a girl. It was all just an act, fortunately.
"Tenth! Happy Birthday! Don't wish for a suitable right-hand man again! Because, you don't need to look any further!"
Judging from his self-proclaiming right hand man title, it was definitely Gokudera Hayato who said something like that to Tsuna. After that, it was followed by another voice.
"Oya, oya? Today is your birthday but you're not wearing your birthday suit, Tsunayoshi? Anyway, Happy Birthday."
Hearing such statement, Gokudera could feel the urge to sweat-drop a little. Actually no, he wanted to snap at the perverted pineapple that had a huge nerve to say something like that to his boss. It was such a fortune that the Decimo didn't understand what birthday suit meant.
Surely, the smart and feisty bomber already knew the meaning of a birthday suit. It was something like the suit which Tsuna was wearing on the day of his birth which in other words, wearing a birthday suit meant nude.
Then, to his surprise, Hibari came forward and said it gently,
"... happy birdday..."
What? Hibari-san actually said something like that to Tsuna? That was something! Heck, the aloof prefect wouldn't even be here at the first place if Tsuna didn't know it better than that! And, did he hear it wrong or Hibari said it something like happy birdday? Maybe he mistook it with his bird, Hibird? After all, the Cloud Guardian seemed to have a fetish with small animals.
But before Tsuna could say something to respond it, the Skylark suddenly took his leave out of the living room. Maybe he wanted to search for a clean air or something.
Then, Enma and Ryohei came up to wish Tsuna all the best and a happy birthday wish too.
"Wogh, Sawada! Happy Extremely Extreme Birthday to the extreme! Kyoko couldn't make it here because she had to visit her friend in a hospital but she said to me that she would make it up to you later to the extreme!"
Which was then followed by Enma, who happened to bring Skull along with him. Weird though. Even though the Cloud Pacifier holder was living in Shimon's household, but it was weird how the cursed Arcobaleno would also tag along with him.
Enma then said,
"Happy Birthday, Tsuna-kun! Let's do our best for this year too, right?" he gave a warm smile to his Dame-Best-Friend, which was then made Tsuna to blush a little from the friendly atmosphere around them,
"Waaii! Skull-sama wishes you a Happy Birthday too!"
But, before Tsuna could reply his thank to helm-wearing Arcobaleno, it was then followed by Colonello.
"Don't call yourself as 'sama' in front of us, kora!" he laid a rash kick right in the back of Skull's head, which made him to fly away quite a while and landed quite loud to the floor. Then, he looked at Tsuna and said,
"Yosh! Happy Birthday, Tsuna!"
As if nothing's wrong was happened, which meant that they totally ignored the flying out of the room, Skull. Fon came and stood not far from Colonello and decided to say,
"Happy Birthday, Decimo. I wish you all the best and may you─" without even finished his sentence, suddenly a voice was came out from behind Tsuna.
"May you rest in peace, Dame-Tsuna."
Who would wish for something like that in someone's birthday? Of course, it took the Vongola Decimo off guard. He gave out a sudden yelp and looked back at behind him. And, there he could see him! It was his sadistic home tutor, Reborn!
Tsuna then replied,
"Re-Re-Reborn! Why did you wish for such thing!" he whimpered out in a frustrated manner when he heard that his home tutor was wishing him like that.
But then, Reborn only smirked evilly, and decided to reply,
"Oh, so you want to die not-in-peace? Sure, I can arrange that. It's the first time I've ever heard someone wished to die like that on his birthday though." he said it bluntly as if he was thinking out-loud, which made Tsuna to sweat-drop even more hearing such statement.
Since Tsuna was speechless to the extreme, Reborn then said simply,
"So, since everyone is already here and set, maybe you would like to see your presents?"
This statement made Tsuna to be quite happy. Being surprised in his birthday was one thing that he never got, but having gifts for his birthday was also something else too! He really didn't know that he would get gifts from his friends like that.
"P-p-presents? I've got some too?" said the brunette boy in total disbelief.
Well, of course, he would get presents on his birthday! Everyone loved Tsuna! That's why, he would get quite some amount of present on his surprise.
Oh, yeah, he was so in for a total surprise... Because, due to a certain skilled home tutor, Tsuna's friends were told to bring something so special for Tsuna to use. For starters, he didn't even know that Rokudo Mukuro actually gave him boxes of Yaoi DVD's for the brunette to watch! The pineapple brought something like "Okane ga Nai" and "Boku no Pico" on the collections!
And, let's not forget for the others too! But, let's just wait until Tsuna opened his presents. Because, as of right now, he was actually surprised by a sudden hug from behind him!
It was Yamamoto Takeshi! Wow. Couldn't it get any better than this? He didn't even know that Takeshi was here! Surely, he thought that the baseball jock didn't come here on a certain occasion.
Takeshi then said,
"Tsuna..." he whispered it slowly and romantically as he then tightened his arms to hold the brunette closer to his body, emanating so much warmth to the smaller teen.
This made Tsuna to blush furiously like crazy! How could he not! Takeshi was hugging him right in front of everyone he knew of! Surely, he was extremely embarrassed by the romantic gesture that his Rain Guardian showed to him!
"Ya-Ya-Yamamoto! Wh-wh-what are you doing?" he asked nervously as he could feel the urge to stutter.
But then, Yamamoto only replied it gently to his friend, still holding on the brunette so tightly which made Tsuna to blush even more while Gokudera was on the verge of throwing his dynamites to Yamamoto. But, he didn't do so though, since it would also hurt the Decimo as well.
Yamamoto then continued,
"Tsuna, let's have sex."
Wait a minute?! He did not just say that, did he? Oh wait, he actually did. Holy Goddesses of Yaoi! What were Yamamoto thinking when he said something like that to Tsuna!
Tsuna could feel a strong urge to faint at the very thoughts of having sex with Yamamoto! What the heck was wrong with Takeshi! Was that the way he confessed his feeling to Tsuna? Surely, he couldn't be that oblivious to say something like that, right?
The Decimo could only reply with his single shriek,
"Hieeee! W-w-why? Wh-wh-what are you talking about, Yamamoto!"
Tsuna released the hug abruptly with his forceful drawback which made Yamamoto to be startled. The baseball jock looked oh-so-confused to the brunette and said,
"Eeeeh? Why not? Don't you want it too?"
Well, even if he did want it, he wouldn't admit it in front of everyone. Weirdly, Maman was only smiling oh-so-happily to his son! Maybe she didn't really understand what was happening.
But before Tsuna could reply further or before the crowds did, the skilled hitman only smirked knowingly and said,
"So, you did come here, after all. Verde."
Ehh? Did he say Verde? The genius slash mad scientist of the Arcobaleno who bear the Lightning Pacifier?
Then, coming from the entrance door beside Yamamoto, there the green-haired scientist showed himself before them all. Verde then replied,
"I didn't specifically say I wouldn't come." the scientist stated it simply to reply Reborn, as he then continued, "Then again, I thought it would be a very good opportunity to test my new experiment."
He turned his head to face Tsuna which made the Decimo to breathlessly yelp a little. Verde then said,
"He's my present to you. Happy Birthday, Decimo."
This made everyone to wonder wordlessly. Tsuna then replied again, looking all confused as ever,
"P-p-present? H-h-he? What did you mean? I don't understand that!"
Yamamoto then replied it gently,
"He means I'm your present, Tsuna!" he smiled warmly to the Decimo, which made Tsuna to be confused a little.
"B-b-but, Ya-Ya-Yamamoto? Aren't you─" before Tsuna could finish his sentence, Reborn decided to cut him.
"A human prototype, Verde? Well, that's something. I still couldn't believe you can make it look as identical as the real one and with the same personality too."
This made Tsuna to be confused in so many levels,
"Wh-wh-what? P-p-prototype? You mean like a copy? You mean, this is not the real Yamamoto?"
Verde only shrugged a little and said,
"My latest invention. I'd like to call it a love-bot. It's basically a humanoid prototype that matches the copy of it using the electromagnetic brain wave as its medium. I added the personality and the looks of Vongola's Rain Guardian as well. I might say it as a love-bot which abbreviates love robot. But, basically, it's the same like a real human. Thanks to my perfection."
Of course, Dame-Tsuna could barely understand any of it. He then replied,
"Wh-wh-what? I d-d-don't understand. You mean, you created Yamamoto but it's not Yamamoto? You're calling it a robot but it's not a robot?"
The scientist gave Tsuna the look,the usual underestimating look that someone usually had to someone inferior to him, then he said,
"Actually, I don't speak Dumb."
Tsuna could only reply in confusion,
"Ehh? You just did?"
Which made Reborn to be irritated and replied,
"Give it a break, Dame-Tsuna. He means you're a dummy. And, before you protest it or what, the answer is yes, you're a dummy and two, this love-bot version of Yamamoto is just the same like Yamamoto, with the same looks and personality but he's not Yamamoto. I think I remember the real Yamamoto went to his house to bring sushi sets for your birthday."
Actually, what Verde meant by such sentence was he didn't speak the same dumb language like Dame-Tsuna and the rest did. That's why he said it like that. It couldn't be helped though, Verde was a genius scientist with bad personalities.
Reborn then looked at Verde and said,
"I wonder why Yamamoto said something like that to Tsuna though. Did you make a glitch Verde? Or did you intend to make a perverted humanoid sex toy for your own purpose? Maybe you want a copy of Skull perhaps?"
Verde sweat-dropped at such statement and said,
"It wasn't a glitch. It's just not perfect yet. I think his personality was more or less the same. The only different thing is that it really seems to me like he's way more perverted than the usual Rain Guardian but other than that, his personality is identical. And, no, why would I make someone who looked like a roadkill?"
Poor Skull. After being kicked like that by Colonello, he really looked like a dead roadkill in the middle of a road. Or maybe he's already looked like one even before he was kicked?
Tsuna then replied,
"A perverted Yamamoto? No! No! No! Take it back! I don't think I need a humanoid sex toy for me to do anything sexual as I please! Besides, what would the real Yamamoto do if he saw his other version like this? "
The Robo-keshi frowned a little and said,
"Ehh? You don't want me? Why, Tsuna, why?"
Oh great. How could the robot looked the same like Yamamoto and acted like the real version of him too! Of course, Tsuna couldn't handle the guilt game like this! He didn't have the heart to make Yamamoto all so sad like that, even though it was just a robot.
"No! No! No! I didn't mean it like that! Of course, I want you, Yamamoto!"
This statement made the Yamamoto clone to reply,
"Ahahaha! I'm happy you want me too, Tsuna! I also want your body as well! So, let's have sex!"
Oh my, what a pervert. Reborn chuckled all so evil and said,
"Pfft. You can't return back a gift, Tsuna. Besides, you better start to do something quick because I'm pretty sure Yamamoto is already on his way now."
That was when a voice suddenly came from the front door of Sawada's household,
"Sorry for the intrusion!"
Oh no. Oh fucking no. Just when they didn't expect it yet, the real Yamamoto finally came! What would Tsuna do after this? What would be happened when they finally meet together? Tsuna could only do one thing...
"Hieeeeeee! The real Yamamoto came! What should I do, Reborn?!"
─To Be Continued─
Author's Note:
This is my birthday fic for our little uke-chan, Tsuna! Happy Birthday Tsuna! May you be as cute as ever and don't grow taller that much, yeah? Because if your body gets bigger and taller, it will be harder for the semes to rape you! Mwahahaha!
Anyway, the scene where Maman tried to turn Tsuna as a girl was greatly inspired by KHFFMEE – 8027 fic, 'Go to the Dance with Me?', so the whole idea was a courtesy of that story. The name Robo-keshi also came from his suggestion. :D
Anyhow, I have some questions.
1. Who wants 802780 threesome? I so do because I'm a huge perv!
2. Who wants 8080 selfcest? I still so do because I love Yamamoto so much.
3. Who wants Robo-keshi for his/her birthday? Me! Me! Please pick me! LOL
If you have any questions, just ask me. And, if you're interested with this story, do tell me in your review!