Title: Believe It!

Fandom: Naruto/HP crack!fic

Author: Menerothiel

A/N: A gift!request!fic for DracoStarbo. I hope it's funny enough!

oo0oo

Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, and Ron Weasley sat together at the end of the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall, the rest of the House crowded around them. A few students had elected to leave their own table for the less crowded ones of the other Houses. Still, not too many people noticed this, because everyone's attention was on the orange-clad, blond, and incredibly loud being that was standing atop the heavy table in a hero's pose.

"I, Uzumaki Naruto, will kill that stupid Lord Voldemort because I AM THE BEST NINJA EVER! Believe it! And all those Death Eaters are gonna fall before the might of the future Hokage! BELIEVE IT!"

At the Head Table, the teachers seemed to notice nothing out of the ordinary. In fact, Dumbledore was eating his dinner potatoes with more gusto than usual.

"Hey," Ron said, as another round of "Believe it!" spouted forth, "d'you think he knows he's saying 'believe it' all the time?"

Before Harry could answer, Hermione—who was unusually lacking in random bursts of facts—clenched her fists and said (rather scarily), "His voice box should be ripped out and fed to the Giant Squid."

Ron and Harry—as well as every other student in earshot—stared at the usually sweet girl.

"Er… Hermione?"

"He is standing on my book bag!" The witch hissed, eyes burning with a rarely seen fire. At this point, Dean Seamus, along with Parvati, Lavender, and Ginny, left for the relative safety of the Slytherin table. At least Malfoy was predictable.

Hermione was now reaching for the steak knife. Harry decided that Voldemort needed vanquishing right then and sped off with Ron, the rest of the Houses escaping soon after. Through all this, the chorus of boasts and "Believe it!" continued…

…until a heavy ripping was heard.

"Hey! What are you DOING!? That's my favorite jacket!"

"Get away from my books!"

"No way! Uzumaki Naruto, best ninja ever, is gonna kick your ass, little girl!"

"GRRRRRR…"

"Hey, stop, what are you—NOO! That's mine, stop it!"

"RAAAAARR!"

"AHHHHHHH!"

At the Head table, Dumbledore smiled toothily and held up the serving bowl. "Would anyone else like some potatoes?"

oo0oo

Notes: Yes, this is utter crack. I went for weird/funny, not actual characterization.

Reviews are incentive to write more, which in turn makes me better. Practice makes Perfect!