A/N: A little Doctor/Martha fic that came to me at work. Takes place during "42," when Martha and Riley were in the pod, floating towards the sun.
Disclaimer: Everything belongs to its respectful owner.
Dedication: To the outstanding Maka, who I love very much. Happy twenty-first, sweetie!
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He can't lose her. It's like watching Rose go into the void again.
Only this is so much worse, because Rose wasn't about to burn to a crisp along with another innocent person. All he can do is just stand there and stare and shout, "I'll save you!"
No matter how many times he shouts it, he can't believe it. He's stopped believing in himself. He's not sure when he realized that he wasn't invincible or godly, but it happened, and it's almost a shock.
What if I can't save her?
He wants to hit himself after thinking that. He can't think like that. He has to try. He can't, no, he won't let Martha burn up in a little pod. She's too good for that.
He needs her too much. He can't let her die. He can't keep losing people.
He can't lose Martha.
Martha, who was too clever, too lovely, too trusting, too amazing to lose. Martha, the medical student in training with her feet planted firmly on the ground. Martha, who never accepted his lies, who always asked questions, who made him open up. Martha, who made him feel like he was worth it, even after he lost Rose. Even after he treated her like dirt. Martha keeps him grounded. She keeps him sane, alive.
He stares after her. All he can focus on is her face, her hands pounding on the window, her begging eyes.
I can't save you… he thinks. He wants to cry.
Then he looks up. The pod recedes, getting smaller and smaller, almost completely consumed in the gold light. No. He's going to save her. He has to.
Don't worry, Martha Jones. I'm going to save you. You're going to be fine. I won't let you go. I promise, I won't fail you.
And he doesn't fail her, just like she doesn't fail him. Just like she's never failed him.
He thinks that maybe he's failed her too many times, never knowing what she wants from him, what he wants from her, but she's always delivered, and he doesn't think he has enough times.
Later, after she's saved his life and her own and others, when she says, "I guess we didn't really need you after all," he's hurt and a little scared because she doesn't need him, not really, not after he saves her. And he knows that she'll need him in the future, to help her out of tight spots like this one, and to get her home on time, and all that. But he's still scared.
He's scared of what will happen to him when she stops needing him for good.
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le fin