"Bloody hell… this is absolutely ridiculous," the Brit muttered, as he stormed to the conference room, suitcase in hand. Other nations stared at him, but they shrugged him off. A grumpy England was a normal sight, especially in France.

Only a few minutes ago, he was at the front desk, waiting for his room key-only to find out that the host country (France, that frog-he probably did this on purpose) forgot to assign him a room. And now he was stuck. Either find a spare room (which was unlikely, since every nation had shown up), or bunk with a random person. He didn't like the idea of that at all-this place was filled with creeps-but he had no choice.

Sighing heavily, England plopped down into his chair. All he wanted right now was some whiskey and a room so he could drink himself off the Eiffel Tower. Anything was better than this.

So who were his choices? Obviously, France was out. There was no telling what position he'd end up in when he woke up-or if he would even get any sleep from paranoia. And he wasn't getting anywhere close to his "bad touch friends" or whatever they were called. He hated the Spanish git, and Prussia wasn't any better. There was America, but he often stayed up far too late, playing silly video games, into the night. Japan was already sharing a room with Taiwan, so that was out of the equation. Russia was a creep. The end to that story. His choices were running low…

Well. There was one that he had forgotten-which was no surprise, since barely anyone noticed him. Or maybe it was because he was pointedly ignoring Canada as an option. Just thinking about the timid blond sent a blush through England's cheeks. The lad had always been so sweet when he was in his care, staying right by his side throughout the years. Even after he gained his independence, Canada was still quite close to the Brit, in both international relations-and to his heart. How could he not love him?

However, even though he was dependable and relatively okay to put up with, it just wouldn't do. There was no telling how flustered and bothered he could get around his former colony, in the same bedroom, for God's sake-

"E-England? Is that you?" The faintest of whispers floated to his ears, and he turned around to see said Canadian right in front of him! With his heart jumping to his throat, the Brit tried to get it to slow down. "Careful there, lad! You gave me quite a fright, you!"

"S-sorry…" Canada scratched his head, and gave him a strange look. "A-are you all right? Y-you seem a bit worried." A hand was put on England's tense shoulder, which shocked both nations and ended in Canada pulling his hand away. Why did he have to be like this around the Brit? As if he wasn't obvious enough already…

"Yes, Canada, I'm fine. I'm just a tad stressed, though." He scrunched his huge eyebrows, green eyes narrowing. "The frog forgot to put me in a room, so I have to find someone willing to… to…"

England's cheeks were on fire now. He honestly couldn't believe he was about to say this-especially to Canada! But hell, if he was going to say it, he might as well just say it in a different language, so the other English-speaking nations wouldn't get it. Was he seriously using the language of the frog? Absolutely ridiculous. But he definitely didn't want America to blab about this.

"J'ai besoin de quelqu'un pour coucher avec moi."

"Q-quoi?!" Violet eyes widened. "V-vous n'avez pas vraiment dire ça comme ça, vous le faites?"

England face-palmed. He knew it was bound to come out wrong, even in this stupid language-especially in French, of all things! The language of the pervert! But he sighed, and spoke in English. "No, of course not! You know what I mean!

"Y-yes, of course… i-it's just strange, hearing it in French, and my mind always jumps to conclusions…" Although he'd never admit it, Papa's French side had been passed down to Canada, making him a closet pervert. But England didn't need to know that, especially as he was the one he wanted to-never mind.

This was too golden of an opportunity, though. Switching back to French and swallowing his fear, he murmured, "J'ai une chambre, et j-je peux le partager a-avec vous, si vous voulez…" Canada let his honey blond locks brush by the Englishman's shoulder, and for the first time, England noticed just how close his former colony was leaning in.

He could almost feel the soft skin of his cheeks, could taste the faint maple syrup and ice on his breath, could feel the warmth from his quickly reddening face. Canada's hands had once again placed themselves on his shoulders, and he felt a gentle squeeze. Green eyes widened, while his breath caught. Since when did he learn to be so forward?!

Well, wherever he had gotten it, he liked this new side of Canada. It made him a tad bit too hot under the collar, which was fine with him, as long as this kept up. And he didn't want it to stop.

"Voulez-cous coucher avec moi çe soir?"

Canada's confidence peaked, then dropped quickly. His old nervous ways came back to him, and his voice came out in a breathy whisper. "V-voulez-vous dire de cette façon?" Oh, God, please let him say oui…

England's face had darkened. There was no way he was turning back now. "Je voulais de cette façon-et plus encore, mon canadien." He smirked, making Canada flush even more, but their faces said it all.

As the rest of the countries started coming in, the two blonds took their respective seats, not being able to keep their eyes off each other. But then again, they wouldn't take their hands off each other for the rest of the night, either.

Extended Ending

As the meeting ended, the host watched all the countries leave-including a pair of blonds. France smirked. Time to rub it in his face.

"You may thank me now, l'Angleterre! And you too, little Canada~" He clapped his hands on their shoulders, making them whirl around. England was annoyed, while Canada was flustered. "And why would I thank you for anything, frog?"

"Who do you think forgot to give you a room? You cannot disguise any displays of amour from moi! Especially if it is in ma langue!" France beamed, blue eyes sparkling with something dangerous, and the green-eyed Brit smacked himself. How could he have been so stupid? He had been speaking French… in France, of all places! Of course someone was bound to understand him!

"And I must say, for a brute like you, you did not completely butcher ma belle langue-and those were quite dirty phrases there, ohonhonhonhon~" he laughed, while England tried to punch him, and poor Canada tried to stop them. "I knew it, you would have to speak my gorgeous language sometime or another! L'Angleterre has let français grace his tongue! You spoke French, tu as parlé français, ohonhonhon~"

After avoiding his hits and narrowly escaping a brawl, France continued. He gave his former "son" a knowing look, making the shy nation want to curl up inside himself. There was only one thing that look meant. "You best take care with little Canada here. He may seem trés timide, but he is a little bête dans la chambre. Just wait until he breaks out-"

"Papa!" Poor Mattie's face was as red as a tomato, but France went on. England raised a bushy eyebrow. "A little beast…"

"Oui, oui! He does take after moi, after all! Oh, and the curl? Erogenous zone, if you touch or pull it." France laughed, once again, as England stared at the other blushing blond. Only squeaks came out of Canada's mouth as he saw England's lips curve into a smirk.

"Just remember, l'Angleterre… he does have the second largest land mass in the world-and I do mean large~"

"PAPA!"

Oh, dear… well, England would find out for himself tonight, wouldn't he?

J'ai besoin de quelqu'un pour coucher avec moi.-I need someone to sleep with me.

Quoi?-What?

Vous n'avez pas vraiment dire ça comme ça, vous le faites?-You didn't really mean it like that, did you?

J'ai une chambre, et je peux le partager avec vous, si vous voulez.-I have a room, and I can share it with you, if you'd like.

Voulez-vouz coucher avec moi çe soir?-Would you like to sleep with me tonight?

Voulez-vous dire de cette façon?-Did you mean in that way?

Je voulais de cette façon-et plus encore, mon canadien.-I meant it that way-and more, my Canadian.

L'Angleterre-England

ma langue/ma belle langue-my language/my beautiful language

français-French

tu as parlé français-you spoke French

trés timide-very shy

bête dans la chambre-beast in the bedroom